Break up - No contact method or turn up at his house to get him back?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 4 months and officially been his girlfriend for 2 of those months. In a moment of stupidity and because I let my overthinking get the best of me I tweeted "I'm single". I would have never acted on those words and I even ...
A. 10 May 2019: So did YOU even WANT him back after a year?
I hope you have moved on and can leave him firmly in the past.
... (read in full...)
I don't want to throw 5 years down the pan but I don't know what else to do. Can you offer any advice?
Q. Hi, I'm facing a bit of a crossroads in my life and I'm hoping you guys can help me as you've helped me so many times before. I've been with my BF for 5 and a half years. On our 5 year anniversary he proposed and I said yes. We've talked abo...
A. 4 May 2018: Amen to Code Warrior's reply.
You think because you have invested 5 YEARS with this guy you now have NO OTHER options?
He sounds like a piece of shit BF! I wouldn't date someone who did all these things to me, let alone MARRY him.
Instead ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with pregnancy envy?
Q. How do people deal with pregnancy envy?Im a single women and my last serious relationship ended last year. During my relationship with my ex we talked about children and he always said he felt we weren’t ready but he did want to try within t...
A. 4 May 2018: It will come and go. My advice, support your SIL and sister and help out as much as you can. That way you get a glimpse of what's to come.
It's also a normal thing you are feeling. So don't feel bad, just BE in control of it.
You SIL is be... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about the girl at work...
Q. Sadly, I've not much experience with interacting with women despite my age, so I'm needing some advice about a woman at work. We work in different departments, so it's not as if we see each other every day if at all. Still, she's made it a point ...
A. 4 May 2018: Well, next time mention that you two haven't been introduced and then tell her your name. (even if she knows it already). If she responds in a positive manner then next time GREET her with her name and see how THAT goes. Or simply ask her for a cup ... (read in full...)
If he still plans to move then what is his intentions with reaching out?
Q. My ex and I broke up a few months back due to him accepting a job offer in a different state. He hasn’t moved yet but we had decided to break it off at that time because there’s no point in prolonging the heartbreak. He reached out a week after the ...
A. 4 May 2018: He IS being a bit selfish here. I think he was hoping you would "entertain" him up until he leaves. As in sorta be his GF but not really. But give him attention and affection and perhaps sex.
I think it's also because he likes you. Giving you up m... (read in full...)
Any advice on dealing with my ex’s odd texts? It’s messing me up!
Q. Was dumped by my boyfriend end of jan. I kept getting texts of him and then they started dwindling , the longest with no text was nearly 2 weeks and he said he loved me and no more taking sleepers with prefabs anyway as he felt horrid. Anyway fast ...
A. 4 May 2018: I agree with Auntie Bim Bim
and I want to add that by keeping you on your toes with ODD texts, he is preventing YOU from finding someone else, as he KNOWS you are still caring for him and perhaps still holding that torch of hope that he REALLY d... (read in full...)
Stay with my Sugar Daddy to help my financial issues, pursue a real relationship, or both?
Q. I have a really sensitive issue that leaves me in a dilemma and a lot of guilt... There's this guy I've been dating for awhile, let's call him M. He really likes me for who I am, he's very serious about me and very appreciative of me. He's been...
A. 4 May 2018: What is more important?
Having a BF or.. finishing your education?
I think prostituting yourself to get an education makes me sad. And I wonder WHY, you haven't considered finishing up whatever tertiary education in your own home country at ... (read in full...)
What’s the worst that could happen? He doesn’t want the threesome and I think it’s a bad idea too but I still want it!
Q. Sorry, this is very personal and embarrasing and long so you can stop reading if you’re offended by threesomes or anything taboo. Me and my boyfriend have been together for over two years amd we have lived together since 6 months together and we’r...
A. 3 May 2018: I agree with FA, it's actually quite simple.
YOU have to make a choice. Now the choice might not FEEL simple, but that is because you are in the middle of it.
YOU made the choice to have children VERY young and thus (potentially) mi... (read in full...)
Am I being irrational for wanting him to show me a picture of his bedroom?
Q. So I have been going out with boyfriend for 9 months, and have been introduced to his parents. His parents are really weird about having people over. They don't like to. So I'v never been inside my boyfriend home. Yesterday we were going to the ...
A. 3 May 2018: I think it's ridiculous that a guy in his 20's can't have his Gf over for a visit. I think it's ridiculous that a guy in his 20's has to tell his GF to sit OUTSIDE the house in his car while he gets ready.
I get that WHILE he live with parents,... (read in full...)
Am I on my way to being hurt?
Q. I just turned 40 and I’m divorced. I met a man one day outside and thought him and his friends were trying to rob me (lol) Im a professional, educated woman and I have two sons 20 and 17 one in college and the other on his way in the fall. ...
A. 2 May 2018: I think when a man OR woman IGNORES red flags in a partner or potential partner they are heading for a lot of hurt and heartache.
It's a like a path of self-destruction.
What was he in prison for?
7!! Kids?! wow, the amount of child support ... (read in full...)
I don't want to end it so I don't say anything.
Q. I've been seeing this boy for over a month, we're not official but we have agreed to not see anyone else. I think I might be the first girl he has ever been with which is fine but I am the one putting in all the effort. I am always the one to ...
A. 2 May 2018: I forgot to add, OP
There isn't much point in dating or being "exclusive" with someone if you don't spend time in person and don't spend time talk (over the phone, Skype, Facetime or just simple texts).
So you have to LEARN how to find your OWN... (read in full...)
She sounded cold and short, should I ask her if she is married before I ask her for a date?
Q. Dear Cupid I would like your advice, I am a divorced man that tried to make it work with my wife but it didnt work..after so many years we seperated and divorced got finalized last year. I am ready to start dating and I found my first love on ...
A. 2 May 2018: I think you should just leave her alone, OP
She isn't interested.
If you want to look for women to date, trolling through old flames may not be the smartest move.
... (read in full...)
Is it okay to delete from your life a parent (father, in my case) that has never cared for you?
Q. Long story short - my parents separated (my mother and I got kicked out of the house) and later on divorced when I was 1. My father never paid a dime of child support. Times were different and it was very hard for my mother to legally force him to ...
A. 2 May 2018: It's entirely up to you.
I think personally, I would cut all contact and remove myself from him and his side of the family. They seem like a toxic bunch that adds NOTHING positive to you or your life. Like a bunch of emotional and financia... (read in full...)
I don't want to end it so I don't say anything.
Q. I've been seeing this boy for over a month, we're not official but we have agreed to not see anyone else. I think I might be the first girl he has ever been with which is fine but I am the one putting in all the effort. I am always the one to ...
A. 2 May 2018: Have you tried to pull back a little with the contact?
Stop being the first to message him, stop answering him ASAP as you get a reply.
Let's say he takes 15 minutes to answer. Then YOU take another 15 to reply.
I know it might sound like... (read in full...)
Break up - No contact method or turn up at his house to get him back?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 4 months and officially been his girlfriend for 2 of those months. In a moment of stupidity and because I let my overthinking get the best of me I tweeted "I'm single". I would have never acted on those words and I even ...
A. 2 May 2018: Go no contact.
IF he still harbors ANY good feelings towards you he will contact you... But I think he saw the writing on the wall and decided to end it and cut you off.
If you ALREADY a few months into dating.. starts social media drama for ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex married lover want to fix things?
Q. I really don't know what to anymore about my situation. I left my married lover because it was the right thing to do and it was hurting me. We are both military (one outranks the other) so it complicates things in terms of actually having a ...
A. 1 May 2018: OP, no one can read his mind.
Maybe he is a control freak who isn't happy that you "escaped" his little "love-triangle".
Maybe he is a narcissist who can't BELIEVE that a women turned him down.
One thing for sure is, HE isn't your friend. He... (read in full...)
Should I report a teacher for teaching 7 year olds about sex?
Q. 3 days ago my 7 year old daughter came to my house asking me about why guys can only wear condoms, she was too curious to know more about sex and the male genital. I was shocked how she knew the word condom, from who and why she is asking me this ...
A. 1 May 2018: In many schools sex ed is starting younger and younger which I find appalling. 7 YEAR old's DO NOT need to know the mechanics of sex or birth control FOR Frig's sake!
I would take it up with the headmaster, asap.
I am NOT a prude and I thin... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend is now messaging my friend
Q. Dated my ex boyfriend for 6 months, and we admittedly rushed into things which was probably where we went wrong. We’ve been split up about a month now and he’s messaging my friend, but the girl herself hasn’t told me, one of our friends has. I’m...
A. 30 April 2018: I wouldn't bother.
He doesn't OWE you to NOT talk to your friend. Your friend is obviously NOT that good of a friend of yours as SHE hasn't told you.
So personally, I would chalk this up to a "eh he and I weren't a good fit anyway, she can ... (read in full...)
A choice between Craig and Tom
Q. I’ve been with Craig for over three years and I do love him, although I’ve never been sure he’s the one. He’s a great support among many other great attributes, however he has no drive and never will, he’s lazy, he doesn’t dress properly for work ...
A. 30 April 2018: I think you should end it with Craig. Seems like you are already over him - otherwise why would you be so inappropriate with Tom?
And yes, I think it's inappropriate for you to chase after Tom as soon as you hear he "likes" you. Especial... (read in full...)
My uncle says I remind him of my abusive father
Q. I feel like ive caused a massive family rift by asking a silly question. Ive had a difficult relationship with my uncle for many of my adult years. He is often very sullen and angry around me. I get short snippy answers to anything i say. He is 48 ...
A. 30 April 2018: OP, it's NOT your fault and you should NOT have to apologize to your uncle for what your father did or for looking like your father.
Honestly? If I were you I'd stay away from him or when visiting HIS parents (your grandparents) to just ignore h... (read in full...)
Why does my ex married lover want to fix things?
Q. I really don't know what to anymore about my situation. I left my married lover because it was the right thing to do and it was hurting me. We are both military (one outranks the other) so it complicates things in terms of actually having a ...
A. 30 April 2018: He is hoping to reel you back in to the affair.
What he is doing is basically love-bombing you, flattery, compliments making you out to be ALL that he needs and blah blah blah.
It makes YOU doubt if breaking up was the right thing to do and ... (read in full...)
I thought we were friends but he blocked me.
Q. I had met this guy 2 years ago. He came up to me at school and asked me if I wanted to study the bible. He was with a group of friends. So I Said yes.at that time he was our campus minister for the young adults In out church. And for the longest ...
A. 29 April 2018: He isn't your friend, he is just some guy you know from campus, church and social media.
THAT is not a friend.
He might have wanted to keep his Instagram private from "casual acquaintances" - hence the blocking you.
As for the whole look... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't care about the here and now.
Q. Hi guys, I am really frustrated and stuck. My gf and I have been together about 5yrs. When we got together she was unemployed, I was studying. We have not lived together since after 2yrs due to money I could not afford having her. (she was very ...
A. 29 April 2018: Honestly?
If you want to buy a house buy it for you, have it in YOUR name only. IF she is NOT contributing financially it's NOT her house. Doesn't matter how long you have been together. You are NOT married.
You say you love her, but all you... (read in full...)
Should I ignore the photos found on his laptop?
Q. Hi there I was looking for a movie on my husband's laptop and instead found a folder of celebrity nudes he downloaded at the same time. I'm a bit shaken. I don't mind if he watches porn, but most of these photos are ones which would have been ...
A. 29 April 2018: I would NOT let this one go.
These are (as you said) photos that the celeb in question DID NOT consent for others to see. That is NOT OK.
So yes, I would tell him straight up what you feel about him having those pictures.
Why? Because it... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to brush aside red flags?
Q. So almost 24 and have never dated or been approached or even remotely shown interest in by any guy. And that's fine. I've never really been into the idea of relationships and never felt like I needed to be in one to be happy. I'm very content in my ...
A. 29 April 2018: I absolutely agree with Code Warrior.
DO NOT ignore red flags. We notice those for a reason. They are WARNING signs.
Now I get that you might be a little "thirsty" to go on a date, but that doesn't mean you should be stupid about this.
H... (read in full...)
Married man damaging my reputation.
Q. Previous Post: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-out-of-this-relationship-with-a.html About a month ago I ended an affair with a married man that I was having. We texted and called daily and we slept together on the weekend but I told it ...
A. 29 April 2018: Hiding crazy... isn't hard, OP
So just BE safe. That means if he shows up at your home, DO NOT let him in. And avoid being alone with him at work (best as you can) and definitely avoid him outside of work.
The way that he dropped the "I'm... (read in full...)
Should I gave up or wait more time to approach my ex
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend one month ago, the reason of the break up was an accumulation of many reasons and things he did. He is 25 and I am 35 years, we had up and down relationship , with great moments and bad moments. I give him a lot, I r...
A. 28 April 2018: I truly hope you are not paying that "dating consultant" because the whole "he just wants you to ..blah blah... it's just NO! You should LEAVE him alone. He is done with the relationship STALKING him is not going to want him to come back to you.
... (read in full...)
Is my time to get pregnat running out?
Q. Can I have children later on in life? Hello aunts I am turning 32 this year and I have no boyfriend and no prospects. I believe I would like to have children but I always fear time is running out. Honestly I HAVE tried everything in the dating ...
A. 28 April 2018: It's not likely that you can't have kids at your age, but you could consider freezing some eggs for later use.
As for how do you erase that fear? I can't say. You could go have a check up and talk to a doctor about fertility.
Can you have ... (read in full...)
We've broken up but why does my heart still hurt.
Q. MOD NOTE: TWO QUESTIONS COMBINED My head is in a spin . My ex broke up with me a few months ago. At first he sent nasty texts and then texts saying he loves me and then I heard nothing for over a week, the texts dwindled to odd 1 or 2 and then not...
A. 28 April 2018: JUST block his number and move on, he sounds like a loser and not a good partner.
STOP wasting your time trying to figure him out.
JUST cut him off and move on. You can't change how he thinks, feels, what he says or does. He is who he is - a dr... (read in full...)
My family want me to continue dating this really nice guy but I feel no attraction towards him
Q. I'm dating the most amazing, nice guy but I don't feel any physical attraction towards him. I'm confused because I haven't met someone so nice in a long time. I don't want to miss out..but then I don't want to settle. What do I do? I feel pressure ...
A. 28 April 2018: I'm sure HE doesn't want to settle either. If he is such a nice guy, don't string him along. He doesn't deserve that.
You family are NOT the ones who are dating him.
If you don't feel an attraction or connection, you don't feel it.... (read in full...)
We've split up,he wants me to move out.
Q. Hi Dear Cupid. I have been in a relationship for three and a half years and my partner split up with me once more and said we are done and that we can still be friends....does friends work? We still live together, are sleeping separately and ...
A. 27 April 2018: Good for you!
But DO consider ending all contact until YOU are healed and over him. He is obviously over you.
... (read in full...)
Is it fair to let past experiences influence tis relationship?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for about a month now and we started to talk about the future and what the relationship is and he tells me that last summer he was accused of raping his ex. At the time he was telling me with I had just had consensual sex w...
A. 27 April 2018: The fact that he told you AFTER you had sex, gives me the willies.
And where is why, if he had told you BEFORE having sex, you might have NOT wanted sex (at that moment, but wanted to think it over - even ask the question here) So it WAS a calcul... (read in full...)
He earns three times more but wants to split the bills 50/50
Q. my boyfriend has recently asked me to move in with him. we had a conversation about our finances and his expectation of what i should contribute to the household expenses. He wants to split everything 50/50. We got into an argument over this because ...
A. 27 April 2018: Is he serious?
You HAVE to pay half the maid cost OR do all the cleaning? Really?
So in essence you either pay half the maid cost or YOU are the FREE (not paid) maid!
I honestly think, Fatherly Advice is on to something. And I agree I... (read in full...)
My confidence is shot, I know I'm better off but I want him to realise it.
Q. My ex of 8 years dumped me 4 months ago, he was and still is an alcoholic and takes heroin and crack and blues and pregabs plus antidepressants ( bought of the streets) I tried helping him and loved him so much , in the past year before the break up ...
A. 27 April 2018: He can't give you answers, he can't give you closure and he CERTAINLY can't give you love or respect.
ALL these things you have to GIVE yourself.
You KNOW he is a loser. A DRUG addict loser.
The FURTHER away you stay from this guy the better... (read in full...)
We've split up,he wants me to move out.
Q. Hi Dear Cupid. I have been in a relationship for three and a half years and my partner split up with me once more and said we are done and that we can still be friends....does friends work? We still live together, are sleeping separately and ...
A. 27 April 2018: Aww, OP
Move out and move on.
You can't clap with one hand and you can't have a relationship with someone who NO LONGER wants to be with you.
Friendship is not realistic. You have feelings for him, he doesn't. Which means he MIGHT start loo... (read in full...)
Married man damaging my reputation.
Q. Previous Post: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-out-of-this-relationship-with-a.html About a month ago I ended an affair with a married man that I was having. We texted and called daily and we slept together on the weekend but I told it ...
A. 27 April 2018: Contact Facebook and have then REMOVE his post.
BLOCK him and EVERYONE who has sent hate your way on Facebook.
My guess is he was already done with his marriage but he USED you to get out of it. And was hoping at the same time to manipulate yo... (read in full...)
I don't know if I can indulge his BDSM fantasies
Q. So I am engaged and both my fiance an I want to experience our fantasies, but I am not sure if I can commit to doing his. Mine is a foursome with him and two other girls, I am Bisexual so I am okay with mine, but his is BDSM an I don't know if ...
A. 27 April 2018: A sure way to ruin a relationship or marriage is to add more people into the bedroom.
Some fantasies are JUST best kept as fantasies.
However, IF you two are set on living these thing out in reality - TALK things over BEFORE doing ANYTHING. ... (read in full...)
Should I trust her on birth control?
Q. I'm 32 years old, dating my 22 old girlfriend for 3 months and days ago we had sex without condom and it was amazing, I almost forgot how good it feels lol, last time I had unprotected sex was with my ex wife who I divorced three years ago. Since ...
A. 27 April 2018: Do you want kids?
If not, WHY leave it up to her to be in charge of birth control?
I GET that it "FEELS" better without condoms but either you want to have kids or you don't!
There are SO many things that can go wrong with the birth con... (read in full...)
I want a sexual relationship with my professor. Should I pursue it?
Q. I am in love with my professor and want to take thing to a sexual relationship. I need advise on how to keep it a secret. We flirt all the time we even exchanged pictures. Should I pursue this at all? ...
A. 27 April 2018: Good for you!
What a sleazy creep!
Glad you dodged a bullet.... (read in full...)
Partner's dad flirting with me
Q. I've been with my partner for 4 years. I have noticed in the past few months that his dad may be 'flirting' with me. We get on pretty well and I find it easier to chat with him than his wife. We tend to laugh and make jokes. Sometimes, I notice him ...
A. 26 April 2018: I agree with Code Warrior.
If he can't be the "adult" here and ACT appropriate YOU have to be the one to set up the boundaries and not engage in these shenanigans!
How would you feel if your MOM did this with your BF? In front of you? In front... (read in full...)
Boyfriend upsets me then gets mad at me and ignores me instead of making it better.
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR for a year and 2 months. It started out slow but now we have spoken about marriage, a child and me moving to his town. Trouble is - in 2 is our most recent fights - he did something to upset me, I got upset, and then...
A. 26 April 2018: I'm not making excuses for him. Because acting like a twat (and he did) is not right either.
I'm just saying I can kind of see where he is coming from when it comes to surprises.
If you had brought it up before hand, he either wasn't paying at... (read in full...)
I'm a hopeless romantic who all the girls want as a friend, not as a date.
Q. Just a little background: I'm a male virgin who's never been kissed and I've only been on one date. I'm usually the friend, not the boyfriend type. I still am friends with girls I've met and befriended. However it is a little frustrating bein...
A. 26 April 2018: I think one thing you could try is talk to some of these female friends you know and ASK them. They know you WAY better than any of us here on DC.
The fact that you "collect" guy who basically rejected you makes you a "better" friend than potentia... (read in full...)
Boyfriend upsets me then gets mad at me and ignores me instead of making it better.
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR for a year and 2 months. It started out slow but now we have spoken about marriage, a child and me moving to his town. Trouble is - in 2 is our most recent fights - he did something to upset me, I got upset, and then...
A. 26 April 2018: I would have been mortified if my husband surprised me with a massage. And I LOVE a good massage.
Getting a massage is actually pretty intimate, so I totally get why he was upset that he 1. you didn't give him a LITTLE warning so he could have sho... (read in full...)
He earns three times more but wants to split the bills 50/50
Q. my boyfriend has recently asked me to move in with him. we had a conversation about our finances and his expectation of what i should contribute to the household expenses. He wants to split everything 50/50. We got into an argument over this because ...
A. 26 April 2018: His money isn't yours.
If you don't like the 50/50 arrangement DO NOT move in with him.
While I TOTALLY get where you are coming from, it isn't his job to take care of you financially. AT all. He is your BF, not your husband.
If it's going t... (read in full...)
I want a sexual relationship with my professor. Should I pursue it?
Q. I am in love with my professor and want to take thing to a sexual relationship. I need advise on how to keep it a secret. We flirt all the time we even exchanged pictures. Should I pursue this at all? ...
A. 10 April 2018: I want to play "pin the tail on the 18 wheeler on the freeway" should I pursue that?
Use some common sense, OP
I ABSOLUTELY AGREE with the fact that you have to hide it. You have to keep it a secret, should tell you it's not a smart thing to d... (read in full...)
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