Please help me with my questions on infertility..
Q. This question is for anyone who has struggled with infertility. How was your relationship (marriage or otherwise) affected by it? Did you undergo fertility treatments (successful or otherwise), adopt, or just choose to remain child-free? Also, for ...
A. 11 July 2018: I think your "best bet" for getting the information you are seeking, to find a infertility forum/board. You will get a MUCH larger group of people who have gone through and going through this, than you will here on DC.
... (read in full...)
Advice on changing appearance and health please!
Q. I really want to change myself , I don't mean drastically I just mean in terms of appearance and they way I am . I like my hair but ive always had the same hairstyle really and want ideas of what sort of hairstyle to get or how to just not overthink ...
A. 11 July 2018: People RARELY do it, but GO SEE your doctor and discuss HEALTHY weight-loss and fitness.
You can also consult with your doctor and get a referral to a dietician. IF you actually need to lose weight. I would have my glucose levels checked. Eating "... (read in full...)
I overheard my wife saying that her ex was the best sex she'd ever had and now my ego is shattered!
Q. So my ego has been devastated and I really don’t know how to handle this. Turns out I’m not the best sex my wife has ever had. Any advice is appreciated. About a week ago my wife had one of her friends at our house for some drinks. After ha...
A. 11 July 2018: I do understand that it wasn't a nice thing to hear. I absolutely get that.
I think if she had overheard you saying that she wasn't as good in bed as your ex, she would feel hurt too.
The thing is it wasn't the only thing she said and you ove... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going away on vacation for two weeks!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 months and we have an amazing relationship. In a few weeks he’s going away with his family to his family’s house in Europe for 2 weeks. I know this sounds pathetic, but I’m genuinely upset that he’s ...
A. 11 July 2018: Awww honey :)
2 weeks might seem like a LONG time but it really isn't. If you keep busy it will be over before you know it and you will BOTH have SO much to talk about when he gets back!
Enjoy your little time away from each other, it's GOOD... (read in full...)
What would you do in my situation? Travel first or settle down now, travel in retirement?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for a year. I'm pretty happy with this guy. We've had ups and downs, but overall things are good between us. We love each other. We have a holiday booked together and are planning to move in together. Howeve...
A. 10 July 2018: My parents (who did travel a lot with us in tow (me and my brother)) planned to travel more in their retirement. Then my mom feel ill. Even travelling the 10 hour car ride to see me, my husband and (at the time) first child was hard on her. It took ... (read in full...)
I'm married he's married why can't I just walk away?
Q. I am married and have been with a married man for 4 and a half years. He has continually asked me to marry him, sent me houses online and tells me that we are ‘one’ and meant to be . I have asked him to leave and be with me and he says he is not ...
A. 9 July 2018: Why not look at your own actions, OP?
Why have you not left YOUR husband yet? You obviously don't love your husband enough to be faithful, so why stay?
As for why you can't stay away from this married man, well because you CHOSE not to. Yo... (read in full...)
Not sure I feel the same as my ex he wants to try again
Q. An ex recently got back in touch with me after 7 months. He wanted to see me so i agreed and went to his . We talked about stuff and they way he was saying things and what he was saying is he wants to start again . When we were in a relationship ...
A. 9 July 2018: I agree with N91 and Cindy,
Move on, wish him well and just DO NOT go there.
To me it seems like dipping back in the shallow pool of exes is RARELY if ever a good idea.
While he SAYS he understand the harsh words spoken when you two brok... (read in full...)
I think I'm a great catch so why don't more guys go after me?
Q. I’m in my early 20’s and I’ve been single for a few months now, and I’m having a hard time figuring out why guys don’t really approach me when I go out nor message me. Even on dating apps like Tinder, I don’t have as many guys as I’d like try to ...
A. 9 July 2018: Are you just looking for hook ups or something more substantial?
As for "not having as many guys as I like" messaging you first.. It happens, even to attractive people. You are but ONE out of many.
Having MANY guys "lust" after you or int... (read in full...)
Why do I have a strong gut feeling that there's something going on between my boyfriend and his ex?
Q. During the first 2 years of being with my BF, he was still in touch with his ex stringing her along, not telling her that he was in a relationship with me. When I found out how he lied about not being in contact with her, I was very upset. Since ...
A. 7 July 2018: Well, I don't think you can make any presumptions or accusations without any proof. It makes you seem like an insecure nut.
EVEN if you have HISTORY with him being shady in the past.
The thing is YOU chose to stay with a guy who for 2 (TWO!!... (read in full...)
My ex treats his present girlfriend so much better than he ever treated me!
Q. I dated a guy on and off for 3 years. I’m pretty sure he is a Narcissist by everything I’ve read and researched. I’m really trying to get over him and move on. I’m really hurt by how he is treating his new girlfriend. It’s seems like she is ...
A. 7 July 2018: Why cares, OP?
He is your ex and you really should stop stalking his Facebook. It only rubs salt in your wound and you won't move forward when you are so busy "analyzing" and stalking your ex.
He didn't treat you right and it ended so you NEE... (read in full...)
Sex hurts!!
Q. Okay so I started dating this guy a while back and recently we decided to have sex. The first time it was bad, it didn't want to go in, when it went in it didn't go in all the way and it hurt really bad and I ended up bleeding. So we waited a while ...
A. 7 July 2018: Go get a Gyno check up, OP
It can be your friend is right that you are not aroused enough, thus not wet enough for him to enter easily.
Or you are tensing up so much that it hurts when trying to have sex. Or you are having an infection "below... (read in full...)
My annoying girlfriend makes me want to bang my head against the wall!
Q. My girlfriend frustrates me, I have been working hard all week, I haven’t even bothered trying to be close to her as when she sees me she remembers to take me to get replacement fan, than it’s food shopping, than it’s some other chore. This week...
A. 7 July 2018: The whole world isn't having fun - just look at the news.
I understand that losing your job is a BIG deal for you, it's SCARY! but that doesn't mean yon can take it out on your GF.
I think she WAS trying to cheer you up with random things li... (read in full...)
My ex is poisoning my children against me and interfering in my visitation with them!
Q. Just a quick question about my ex and my children. I had to take my ex to court in order to see my children. I have a good arrangement now and I love having my children. However I always set up really good weekends when I have them, prope...
A. 6 July 2018: Definitely, look into a mediator (court appointed) maybe what you need is to re-hash the visitation arrangement.
It does (from what you write) sound like she does this to create drama and lash out at you. Why she does it is. however, irreleva... (read in full...)
He’s ignoring me all of a sudden! How do I react?
Q. I’m 27 from UK and recently reconnected with my ex from 7 years ago who I broke up with. We had an amazing couple of days together rekindling and we’ve been very romantic since. Awkward part - he lives in America right now for work. He has men...
A. 6 July 2018: I agree with Code Warrior.
There is a lot of confusion going on here. Because it seems like you think a "first" date with someone is a big step when normally it's not. I would have though spending a couple of "amazing" days being romantic was a mu... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend tell people about me ?
Q. My boyfriend won't take me around the people he plays sports with or tell his co workers or family about me. What should I do ? I asked him why he won't tell anyone about me or take me to a soccer game that he plays in coed soccer leauge because I ...
A. 6 July 2018: I think it's sad that he rather quit a sport than deal with introducing you.
And I think you are being pushy. And not in a good way.
Now while I feel 6-7 months is a good time to introduce someone to friends and family, for me at least, it sho... (read in full...)
Online dating isn't working for me
Q. I have a question regarding online dating. Why is it that I am getting stood up so much? I have been on a few dating apps for 6 months and have only successfully been on one date. I find a common pattern when I get a conversation started. I get her ...
A. 6 July 2018: Maybe they go through the dating experience differently than you.
It can be the women that you DO get a date with decides whether they can see a future with you on the first date, or not. And if they don't... they move on asap to not waste th... (read in full...)
I'm wasting the prime of my life. What should I do?
Q. Hello all, I've been in a rut for 8 years now and can't shift it. I'm alive but not living I guess. I have no drive or ambition. I can't remember the last time I thought yes I really wanna do this. Problem is I don't know what I want nothing ...
A. 6 July 2018: Start with a full physical, OP
The GF can wait.
Get the physical, get your hormonal levels checked (this goes for men as well as women).
The start working out. I'm not saying TRY to become Arnold Schwarzenegger or that you MUST have a 5 p... (read in full...)
My ex is poisoning my children against me and interfering in my visitation with them!
Q. Just a quick question about my ex and my children. I had to take my ex to court in order to see my children. I have a good arrangement now and I love having my children. However I always set up really good weekends when I have them, prope...
A. 6 July 2018: I would seek legal advice here, OP
This is not OK.
While you CAN NOT control what she does and says, you CAN control whether you GET your time with the kids or not. It does mean you might have to take her to court. Or find a mediator to sort... (read in full...)
She only wants to be friends but acts like we are more?
Q. This is a complicated issue that has really affected me mentally. I've been friends with this girl since secondary school and we have always been pretty close, we got closer as we moved up to college and since becoming close friends and spen...
A. 6 July 2018: Since all she ever want is friendship you HAVE to accept that or cut the contact.
I think she really is not "getting it" or she is a little dense in her actions. YOU see everything she does as slightly romantic - the touching and closenes... (read in full...)
My husband is super clingy!
Q. Hello I have been married for 27 years. In those years I have left my husband twice. My husband is super clingy. If I enter a room in the house, he is behind me. If I want to take a bath, he comes into the washroom to talk. I don't seem t...
A. 5 July 2018: Put him to work.
If he comes in the kitchen and tries to tell you what to do, step back and tell him - go ahead cook the meal. Or ask him to set the table, take out the trash, make a salad... something.
Idle hand, OP
My husband did the sa... (read in full...)
I need to get time off but how should I go about it?
Q. (Not a relationship question, but I need some advice on a work issue.) Ok here goes. I’ve been at this company (hospital) for 10 months now. I work night shift, have rotating weekends, and work most-if not all- holidays. The job itself is good, I ...
A. 5 July 2018: Your paid time off should be in your contract. In many places you do not get paid time until you have been there 6-12 months (depending on country and place you work) - but all that SHOULD be in your contract.
If you need time off, put in the pape... (read in full...)
I'm 8 weeks pregnant and questioning my relationship with my partner because I just found out that he's slept with numerous prostitutes before we met.
Q. Hello. I am 8 weeks pregnant , was so happy with everything and looking forward to the future but now I’m seriously re thinking the whole thing. I have been with my partner a while and we were just discussing the blood tests I am getting for...
A. 5 July 2018:
Yes, you can vaccinate against hepatitis A and B ( I believe it is) but there are hepatitis C - D and E that you can not, so he can still have hepatitis. Just saying.
The UK is in the TOP 5! when it comes to STD's like HPV - Chlamydia, hepa... (read in full...)
Is it ok to fall in love with your cousin?
Q. My whole family went to Minnesota to visit my aunt and cousins! My cousin is a boy, 16 Years old and I’m 15 Years old and a girl. When I first saw him it was like love at first sight....sometimes he would roll his tounge at me just to be funny or...
A. 4 July 2018: Ahhh OP,
It's not love. It's a crush or infatuation, nothing more.
Don't tell him, that will just make everything awkward.
I'ts OK that you like him as a person but be realistic here, this isn't going to go any where. A relationship yo... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking his binge drinking?
Q. I'm the kind of girl who likes the occasional night out to celebrate something. However my boyfriend is a party animal and it seems he would binge drink into the early hours quite often. Does this say something about his personality/values or am I ...
A. 4 July 2018: Do you WANT to date an alcoholic?
Someone who seems to lack control when it comes to drinking?
How often is "quite often" ?
How bad is "binge drinking"?
Personally, I would find anyone who drinks (or do drugs) in excess someone not com... (read in full...)
Should I move away and start a new life close to my daughter?
Q. I split up with a long term ex (17 years) because he treated me so badly that it ruined my self esteem and this impacted on my career and relationship with my daughter. I realise now I put up with his behaviour because I grew up in a dysfunctional ...
A. 4 July 2018: I think you should move closer to your daughter and away from this guy.
THERE is no point in holding onto him or the past.
I would also URGE you to see a therapist (once you move) and work on yourself. If you stay 17 years in this crappy rela... (read in full...)
I found out my fiancé lied about his education. Now what?
Q. My fiancé and I were recently engaged. We have been together for two years. He moved here from out of state shortly before we met. He told me and has always said that he graduated from University A. According to him he attended University B for ...
A. 4 July 2018: It sounds like a really DUMB thing to lie about. I mean WHO cares where he got his degree?
I can understand that he MIGHT feel bad for having lied to you before you two got serious - but... he CHOSE to keep up the pretense because (I think) h... (read in full...)
I cheated and want to fix my relationship, but how?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years, since I was 23. He is a wonderful person. I love him, he loves me, and we've always worked so well together. We've never had any problems beyond whose turn it is to do the dishes. ...
A. 4 July 2018: I have to agree with Anonymous 123 as well.
End it with your BF, he deserves better.
Can a therapist help you understand why you did it? Maybe but you know what? That won't UNDO what you did. It doesn't JUSTIFY what you did. IT doesn't make ... (read in full...)
I need help in letting him go!
Q. We met online, he is kind, sweet, committed and just a good soul. I wasnt awfully attracted to him physically but he is the kindest man on this planet so I decided to meet him anyway. I was still not attracted to him but felt because he is such a ...
A. 3 July 2018: OP, I don't think you are a piece of shit for wanting a healthier and fitter partner (on top of other qualities).
I don't think it makes you shallow, since you yourself are healthy and fit. It's not like you want something that you aren't willing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is nasty when we argue. Does he not care?
Q. My boyfriend is loving and caring but when we argue he likes to name call, being nasty and defensive, as if trying to hurt me back for upsetting him (however unintentionally). I KNOW this is not the ideal conflict resolution scenario. I'm just ...
A. 3 July 2018: Does he care?
I find your question odd to be honest.
You are not concerned that this is how he sees you (and probably other women)?
Do you presume that this is "just" how some people deal with arguments?
Are you really OK with this? ... (read in full...)
I need help in letting him go!
Q. We met online, he is kind, sweet, committed and just a good soul. I wasnt awfully attracted to him physically but he is the kindest man on this planet so I decided to meet him anyway. I was still not attracted to him but felt because he is such a ...
A. 3 July 2018: I agree with Tisha.
Dump him and do it GENTLY.
You ARE stringing him along, OP - I know you don't intend to hurt him but you are.
The attraction isn't there and won't just magically show up. HE deserves a partner who want him, warts and all.... (read in full...)
It’s been 6 months, how long does it take before the hurt stops?
Q. I met this guy in school and we were together for 6 years . I am 24 now and working . We were pretty much immature then learnt by passage of time. We had all ups and down in the relationship. Since we are indians we stayed in limits with regard to ...
A. 1 July 2018: Please, let him go.
Keep looking. Not for a person, but for your passion, your love, your courage, your goals, your dreams, your happiness, yourself. A HAPPY you will have a much better chance of finding someone (down the line) who will ADD to y... (read in full...)
He looks up his exes when we argue!
Q. I noticed my boyfriend had looked up an ex recently and he has admitted that after some bad arguments he has looked up exes as a form of escape. He's done this "every month or so", just looking at their pictures. I understand looking up exes out of ...
A. 1 July 2018: While I do "get" why he is doing it, I think it's pretty detrimental for a relationship.
However, I also think a LOT of people (due to it being so east to do) check up on old flames, exes, old coworkers, teachers, friends, etc... without ACTUALLY... (read in full...)
People have called me quirky and individual but have also called me weird!
Q. I really struggle when speaking and getting to know people nearly every time I meet someone they call me weird and I know they don't mean this offensively as I ask them , yet I take it as a bad thing . a lot of people have said I am really funny , ...
A. 1 July 2018: Embrace who you are, OP
Someone who don't really know you and call you weird, SO WHAT? You don't need THEIR opinion to be who you are. They don't know you. And anyone CALLING you weird doesn't MAKE you weird.
I've been called a snob and antisoc... (read in full...)
Should I volunteer for the first time for three months in another country?
Q. ive never known what I want to do career wise and ive never really had any ambitions or hobbies as such . I often get slightly worried that in a few years I don't know what ill be doing and I don't know if ill have a job . ive been wanting to ...
A. 1 July 2018: I would but I would be DARNED sure that the country you wish to go to is as SAFE as possible for the volunteers. And that the group you go with is a trust worthy one as well.
It's only 3 months and they will fly by!
... (read in full...)
What if they award the golf match to him?
Q. It never ceases to amaze me how rude and arrogant some people can be... I have to play a match in a golf tournament.The match has to be played by July 29th (4 weeks time). I had agreed to play it on July 1st, but 2 days prior I had a personal s...
A. 1 July 2018: No, OP
If you DEFAULT (like Cindy mentioned) HE wins. At least that IS the standard for many sports.
And would you REALLY want to play this guy anyways?
It's a GOLF match got goodness sake! Call the club and ask what the rules are IF you rea... (read in full...)
Something's not right with my mother and I'm very worried about her mental health
Q. I think my mother has ADHD,I'm no professional so I may be wrong in diagnosing her but something is definitely not right..she's a wonderful mum but I'm starting to feel very frustrated with our relationship, I apologise in advance if this is long ...
A. 30 June 2018: EDIT...
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I really do hate auto-correct lol
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I wrote:
"Or maybe start by talking to your dad and have HIM call the doctor and see what your daughter suggest." ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is depressed and anxious, what's going on?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years. The first year was great but since then we've had alot of personal challenges. For the past 1.5 years my boyfriend has been struggling with anxiety and depression. He couldn't cope with work anymore and ...
A. 30 June 2018: Sounds like he needs professional help. Has he tried finding a therapist/counselor?
I read an article (wish I could find it right now.. but the gist is) if you have anxiety the LAST thing you need to do is lay around in bed. It might FEEL lik... (read in full...)
Something's not right with my mother and I'm very worried about her mental health
Q. I think my mother has ADHD,I'm no professional so I may be wrong in diagnosing her but something is definitely not right..she's a wonderful mum but I'm starting to feel very frustrated with our relationship, I apologise in advance if this is long ...
A. 30 June 2018: Have you talked to your dad? (if they are still married and live together.)
I honestly think it's more his "job" to get her to go see a doctor than yours.
Part of this could be menopausal. If her hormones are totally out of whack she might ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is disintegrating, and I don’t know what to do!
Q. So basically me and my partner have been together for almost 3 years now. We live together. Recently there are more and more days where I am doubting our relationship. We have never had sex, we have done other things at the beginning of our ...
A. 30 June 2018: It sounds like the two of you are room mates, not a young couple in their 20's!
You are dating him out of pity, or so it seems. You don't want to be YET another girl to dump him and I get that but WHAT are you getting out of this relation... (read in full...)
Everything was perfect... until he lost his nan!
Q. Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I had been together almost five months but have been friends for about a year. We had the most amazing relationship. We both had said that we had a stronger bond than we'd ever had with anyone else. We tackled any ...
A. 30 June 2018: He is grieving and being unfair.
If he doesn't know what he wants he should stop this push/pull game with you. If your insecurities was too overwhelming for him on top of the mourning, ending it with you is for the best. He might not be in the r... (read in full...)
Should I add my ex to my contacts or just erase him completely?
Q. Me and my boyfriend recently broke up because we've been in a long distance relationship after he moved out the state. We both didn't cheat, but we just couldn't keep the spark in LDR and we decided to move on since we both have different ...
A. 30 June 2018: I think the BEST way for you to move on and move forward in life is to NOT hold on to an ex.
If you keep him around it's sort of like an anchor that hold you from moving on.
If you feel you could be "friends" down the line, let him know and... (read in full...)
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