He earns three times more but wants to split the bills 50/50
Q. my boyfriend has recently asked me to move in with him. we had a conversation about our finances and his expectation of what i should contribute to the household expenses. He wants to split everything 50/50. We got into an argument over this because ...
A. 27 April 2018: Is he serious?
You HAVE to pay half the maid cost OR do all the cleaning? Really?
So in essence you either pay half the maid cost or YOU are the FREE (not paid) maid!
I honestly think, Fatherly Advice is on to something. And I agree I... (read in full...)
Boyfriend upsets me then gets mad at me and ignores me instead of making it better.
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR for a year and 2 months. It started out slow but now we have spoken about marriage, a child and me moving to his town. Trouble is - in 2 is our most recent fights - he did something to upset me, I got upset, and then...
A. 26 April 2018: I'm not making excuses for him. Because acting like a twat (and he did) is not right either.
I'm just saying I can kind of see where he is coming from when it comes to surprises.
If you had brought it up before hand, he either wasn't paying at... (read in full...)
I'm a hopeless romantic who all the girls want as a friend, not as a date.
Q. Just a little background: I'm a male virgin who's never been kissed and I've only been on one date. I'm usually the friend, not the boyfriend type. I still am friends with girls I've met and befriended. However it is a little frustrating bein...
A. 26 April 2018: I think one thing you could try is talk to some of these female friends you know and ASK them. They know you WAY better than any of us here on DC.
The fact that you "collect" guy who basically rejected you makes you a "better" friend than potentia... (read in full...)
I have feelings for a man 20 years my senior
Q. I have this weird question I'm hoping someone can help me with, I have romantic/sexual feelings for a much older man and I've recently told him this. What I want help is should I roll with it or try to move on? He's an old friend of the family and I ...
A. 26 April 2018: No, just no OP
He is FRIEND of the family, there is no way this is NOT going to be awkward.
How did he respond to you telling him?
Is he married? Single? Does he have kids? If he is married then it's a definite STAY AWAY.
JUST because yo... (read in full...)
Boyfriend upsets me then gets mad at me and ignores me instead of making it better.
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR for a year and 2 months. It started out slow but now we have spoken about marriage, a child and me moving to his town. Trouble is - in 2 is our most recent fights - he did something to upset me, I got upset, and then...
A. 26 April 2018: I would have been mortified if my husband surprised me with a massage. And I LOVE a good massage.
Getting a massage is actually pretty intimate, so I totally get why he was upset that he 1. you didn't give him a LITTLE warning so he could have sho... (read in full...)
He earns three times more but wants to split the bills 50/50
Q. my boyfriend has recently asked me to move in with him. we had a conversation about our finances and his expectation of what i should contribute to the household expenses. He wants to split everything 50/50. We got into an argument over this because ...
A. 26 April 2018: His money isn't yours.
If you don't like the 50/50 arrangement DO NOT move in with him.
While I TOTALLY get where you are coming from, it isn't his job to take care of you financially. AT all. He is your BF, not your husband.
If it's going t... (read in full...)
Long time friend wants to be more than friends.
Q. Hello agony aunts. Im facing some troubles and dealing with my guy friend's behavior towards me. My guy friend is being cold, sarcastic and mean to me in the past few weeks. Okay well let me start with this, he actually loves me, he told me before ...
A. 26 April 2018: So stop accepting the apologies & block him?
He "claims" that YOU are hurting him - because you don't want to date him, but you have been upfront with not wanting more than friendship, HOWEVER - he is of the opinion that if he PUSHES hard enough y... (read in full...)
Why the mixed signals?
Q. Me and this guy have been casually seeing each other for a year; he would come over from nights out etc and we would just cuddle and kiss and act romantic even though we were not together. We got close in the sense that he started to trust me and we ...
A. 25 April 2018: Honestly?
Just cut him loose.
If you are having all these arguments and you are not EVEN dating, how well do you think it would work out IF you were dating?
Also, if this "casual" thing has been going on for a year and NOTHING has really p... (read in full...)
Why did my ex give his friend my number?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, i broke up in July last year (2017) with my boyfriend (I’ll call him M) i loved very much because i felt he had fallen out of love with me and two weeks later, he got a new girlfriend (I know because i came back to him so we could ...
A. 25 April 2018: M gave D your number because he has moved on.
However, ANYTHING you do with D will get back to M, and some of what you did with M will get back to D.
So that night you were drunk, had M pick you up and you had sex.. yeah, D will hear about ... (read in full...)
I want out of this relationship with a married man but he is making it difficult.
Q. In September I moved to a new area for work, shortly after I started my job i had a coworker that started flirting with me. He is really cute and sweet only problem is he is married. He like me moved to the area for work, his family is actually four ...
A. 25 April 2018: OP, we ALL make mistakes in life.
It's what you DO about it when you realize that it is a big ass mistake.
And yes, I can totally see how his family was "out of sight - out of mind" for you. After all YOU are not the one married. YOU are... (read in full...)
I want out of this relationship with a married man but he is making it difficult.
Q. In September I moved to a new area for work, shortly after I started my job i had a coworker that started flirting with me. He is really cute and sweet only problem is he is married. He like me moved to the area for work, his family is actually four ...
A. 25 April 2018: Not saying you are a horrible person, I'm sure you are not.... But you DID make a HORRIBLE choice. Given your age group, mistakes will be made. It's WHAT you do with the situation once you KNOW it's a mistake that sets you apart from that "horrible" ... (read in full...)
My well-connected but broke boyfriend has 4720 friends on Facebook but won’t add me!
Q. I probably know the answer to this question, but if anyone has some thoughts, I'm in a long distance relationship with a much older man who is very accomplished and well-connected (flat broke, but always has younger women chasing him). We see each ...
A. 25 April 2018: I don't think TRUST (in men) is the real issue OP,
I think it's YOU NOT trusting your gut-feeling when something is off.
I think it's YOU thinking you CAN change another person (which doesn't REALLY happen).
And lastly, I think it's YOU... (read in full...)
I want out of this relationship with a married man but he is making it difficult.
Q. In September I moved to a new area for work, shortly after I started my job i had a coworker that started flirting with me. He is really cute and sweet only problem is he is married. He like me moved to the area for work, his family is actually four ...
A. 25 April 2018: So your solution to all this drama and the affair is to RUB it in the wife's face? By sending a picture?
Wow!
How do you break away?
Well, 1. look for another job. Sure, not the easiest solution but being around him 8 hours a day might make... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the other woman but love him too much to let go.
Q. I have been seeing A married guy for nearly 8 months. He spending every free moment with me we do things we go away sometimes, we talk on the phone multiple times a day every single day. He has been great fI me, He’s caring, attentive, Generous ...
A. 24 April 2018: So make a choice.
Keep the business meeting and alone time to an absolute minimum, let him know that you are DONE being a mistress and make SURE he understands that if he can't respect that... his wife might hear about it.
You are too young to... (read in full...)
I offered an adult student help, now he constantly contacts me.
Q. I would like to preface my question by saying that this isn't exactly a "relationship" question, but I am reaching out for advice because I know that some of you are really qualified to give advice about interactions with people, in general. I te...
A. 24 April 2018: Your alarm-bells are going off because you know this isn't a healthy situation. You know something is off.
This is a guy who were offered an inch and is taking a mile and keep taking because he KNOWS enough about American women to keep pushing ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my ex but he just wants to be friends.
Q. dear cupid i have recently got back in to touch with an ex boyfriend we Broke up on bad term yrs ago but as i said we got back in touch and we are friends but i have realised i still have feeling for him and he said he just wants to be friends ...
A. 24 April 2018: If one person have romantic feelings it's almost impossible to remain friends. Because FRIENDS do NOT have romantic feelings towards the other.
The longer you "keep" him around as a "friend" with hopes that HE might eventually feel the same... ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the other woman but love him too much to let go.
Q. I have been seeing A married guy for nearly 8 months. He spending every free moment with me we do things we go away sometimes, we talk on the phone multiple times a day every single day. He has been great fI me, He’s caring, attentive, Generous ...
A. 24 April 2018: You know he really isn't your BF, right?
Because he CAN'T be a husband and a BF at the same time. And HE is SOMEONE else's husband.
You need to stop being selfish here. How about you put yourself in his wife's shoes for a minute? ( know y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he liked my skinnier self and now I'm very hurt.
Q. I need help. Just had a big fight with my boyfriend of 5 years. We are in a hotel room travelling to Memphis and we were enjoying a week long road trip. I've put on some weight since we met. But then so has he. He had once told me he would...
A. 24 April 2018: He acted like an ass and so did you. What did you expect?
If he had LIED to you and said, I like the curvier version better you wouldn't have liked that one bit either, because it's a lie.
It's a NO win question for him. He is damned if he is ... (read in full...)
He canceled our second date and hasn’t rescheduled! Should I ask him why or just forget him?
Q. Two weeks ago I met a guy and we had a great date, he asked for a second date while we were still out so we made plans to meet up the following week. The day of our second date he cancelled because he had a cold so I didn't think anything of that, I ...
A. 24 April 2018: You could ask him how he is feeling and if he is up for a second date.
Why not? why sit and wait for him to ask?
And if he has started with flirty messages do you join in with that? Are you playing along?
Personally? I would wish him well an... (read in full...)
Every relationship ends the same way ....
Q. Hello, I'm 23 years old (f) suffering with anxiety and bipolar. In my childhood and teenage years, I suffered from emotional and physical abuse, and it's affecting my relationships with people right now. My dad was one of the people who made me feel ...
A. 23 April 2018: I think it's impossible for others to quite understand how you feel (especially if they NEVER went through anything like you did). They can emphasize, support but not truly understand.
And a partner doesn't HAVE to understand all the nitty gr... (read in full...)
Their Grandma wont drop the subject, what do I do?
Q. A few years ago, my sister-in-law's grandmother and her boyfriend went to Alaska on a vacation (the boyfriend is now decease). We talked about Alaska and I mentioned to her that Alaska is my dream vacation. I did my research and realize how much...
A. 23 April 2018: She isn't asking out of malice but because she hopes it's a topic she can share with someone else, as she has been there and you would have liked to have gone. She is trying for a common denominator for small talk.
It seem like you think she shou... (read in full...)
My well-connected but broke boyfriend has 4720 friends on Facebook but won’t add me!
Q. I probably know the answer to this question, but if anyone has some thoughts, I'm in a long distance relationship with a much older man who is very accomplished and well-connected (flat broke, but always has younger women chasing him). We see each ...
A. 23 April 2018: While for the most part I roll my eyes when people bring up Facebook as an "issue" in a relationship, because... it JUST Facebook. I agree that you DO take social media too serious. However, I think he is playing these games on purpose.
He KN... (read in full...)
A mutual friend has boundary problems
Q. I have this problem with a friend of mine (we are both gay men). He is very close to my best friend. This friend, who can sometimes be great and at other times be utterly creepy. He can be the kindest, most helpful person and in a whim switch to a ...
A. 23 April 2018: He isn't going to change.
You have tried on many occasions to set up boundaries. NORMAL and quite common boundaries (from what you write) as in, don't grab my crotch/bum. ALL socially acceptable boundaries. I mean who really goes around groping ... (read in full...)
What should a person do .....
Q. What should a person do if they are falling for someone, and that person tells them they have a certain type a woman they like, and it's not you, and they don't have time but maybe one day a week, they are to busy to see you more then that, you live ...
A. 23 April 2018: Wish him well and move on.
Why would ANY woman "compete" with a type? Why would you even consider dating a guy who has told you YOU are not HIS type. It's like him saying that he has "lowered his standards for you" or that you somehow should b... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing, I think he is still involved with his children's mother.
Q. I was seeing a man who lives with his 18 year month twin boys and he still lives with his kids mother.He told me they have broken up but staying together for financial reasons for now. Well he wouldn't see me outside working hours so I calle...
A. 23 April 2018: His top priority is his kids. If he is so financially bad that he HAS to live with his ex, then he isn't really ready to date. Because he still have to rely on HER good graces and staying amicable with her.
People who have split up, but still de... (read in full...)
Why did he have makeup smeared around his lips?
Q. My husband is the most loving loyal husband, we never argue at all and we get along amazing, we are both just so madly in love, he’s always been very affectionate and he really is amazing in every way. However he went on a works meal yesterday a...
A. 22 April 2018: I think your husband needs to go see his doctor, and perhaps think about QUIT drinking.
I fully agree with Auntie BimBim this makes absolutely no sense. If he needed CPR, he should have seen a doctor.
And I really think he needs to conside... (read in full...)
Am I meant to tell him to break up with her?
Q. I'm currently talking to this lad who seems to be interested in me. It would be fine but he has a girlfriend, who I asked about recently. He never seems too happy to see her, says they're distant,she doesn't speak to him much and she has cheated on ...
A. 22 April 2018: I think you should cut him lose and block him.
He has a GF. Whether his relationship[p with her is good or bad is irrelevant. If it's that bad, then HE can leave. He doesn't need YOU to tell him that. If she constantly cheats on him and it's suc... (read in full...)
Did she sell the phone I gave her? I regret how our interactions ended!
Q. I am an Expatriate aged 39 and good looking working in a rather 3rd world country with good financial. I met a girl in a family friendly bar. After few visits at the bar, i took a liking to her as she was unlike the rest that goes around flirting ...
A. 21 April 2018: Leave her be.
Her coworkers at the bar was being super inappropriate goading her into hugging and kissing you. Who does that?
Now she might have sold it, but that will make it easier for you to leave her be.
Just leave her be. Next time ... (read in full...)
Is he oblivious or selfish?
Q. Hello agony aunts and uncles It’s never a good sign when I appeal to the internet but here goes. I fell crazy in love with someone but he had a lot of financial issues. I still dated him and loaned him money which he did repay me for. Now that he’...
A. 21 April 2018: I say get your money back and break up with him.
While I don't think the amount you spend on a gift is the MAJOR point here... The calling you greedy for not being over the moon for some costume jewelry is petty of him. He didn't like the fact tha... (read in full...)
I'm wondering how some females can manage not being jealous and I'm wondering how some guys don't see how this affects their partners?
Q. I'm single, so this isn't something I'm writing out of emotion, but something I have pondered in the past. I came across a lot of articles online lately about what guys like and dislike in relationships and it seems as though a lot of guys mentioned ...
A. 21 April 2018: Of course there is a double standard for men and women. Sometimes the lines are bit more blurred than they used to be.. but double standards are common.
However, HAVING a standard should be common sense.
Which means a guy who is VERY into por... (read in full...)
A guy I was seeing went quiet on me, he says he is following legal advise.
Q. Im just wondering what are peoples thoughts. I was seeing a guy who went quiet on me we had been seeing each other for 6 month. i heard from him a handful of times in 2 month and didnt get to see him . I didnt sit about waiting for him i got on with ...
A. 20 April 2018:
I don't know how dating someone makes you so ill you have to be hospitalized, but regardless. Time to move forward, you made the right choice.
I hope you keep him blocked on everything.... (read in full...)
Why is my co-worker taking care of his female friend after she just had a baby? Does he like her?
Q. Hello there, I am 32 years old and my coworker is 41 years old. We starred to talk around January only at work then we found out that we live 8 minutes away from each other. Our days off rotate and march 16th him and I set the date to go to lunch an...
A. 20 April 2018: There can be many reasons as to why.
If he is single (which is seems like he is) I don't really see the problem in caring for a friend who just had a baby. The father of the child might work away from home, deployed or otherwise NOT able to do th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't listen when I tell him I am not materialistic!
Q. Hello, I'm 24 and I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 years. I'm trying to get other's perspective. I come from a wealthy family, and my boyfriend think that i should be always spoiled with gifts. He's not too rich or poor, he's in the middle ...
A. 20 April 2018: He think you were/are out of his league (at least financially) and he is trying to make up for that. Also since he makes such a BIG DEAL out of it, he really WANTS you to be grateful.
My advice? GIVE him a list of items you would LIKE for those oc... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my Facebook account more respectable so that my boyfriend doesn't take things the wrong way?
Q. Hello. After a few years of being single minus one short relationship last year, I've found someone I want to get serious with. We've been dating a few months now and I've put a lot of thought into the type of partner I want to be. I've no problem ...
A. 20 April 2018: Set your setting (privacy setting) to allow friends only and friends of friends. People you KNOW in "real life" and OBVIOUSLY not guy who are looking to catch your eye.
CULL your FB friend's list. Everyone who is a guy looking to hook up with you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend, I and his so called lesbian friend who's slept with him, fancies him and doesn't like me. What do I do?
Q. Been seeing a guy for 7months now. Started off casually, us both not looking for a relationship, but it naturally progressed into one that we both are enjoying. We have had to redefine and communicate a lot about what our needs and expectations are ...
A. 20 April 2018: She is his "friend" when that term is convenient (as in whenever you express how it makes you uncomfortable the amount of time and energy he spends on her). Because "friend" sounds harmless.
She isn't harmless for your relationship, AT ALL.
... (read in full...)
He said he loved me but then he dumped me out of the blue! Do I just walk away and forget it all?
Q. Hi Everyone I have a really big dilemma and don’t know what to do. Long story short. I was seeing this guy for a little over 2 months. Things were going amazing, we got along well, we wanted the same things out of life, we had many of the same ...
A. 20 April 2018: I agree with Janniepeg,
There are people out there who WANTS to GF/BF experience but can't really handle a full-time relationship because they either aren't ready for one, not really willing to commit or whatever else excuse.
This guy WANT... (read in full...)
We're both single now and he's invited me on an adventure... is he interested?
Q. I can't believe I'm 30 years old and asking this question, but my social skills are not the greatest so here goes. Tl;dr "does he like me?" A few years ago I met this guy in passing at an event I basically strayed into while out walking around. ...
A. 20 April 2018: He does sound interested.
Maybe he has dated ONE type but has found that in the long run a "type" doesn't always make a good match. You on the other hand might.
He might also just want to increase his social circle of ACTIVE people and you a... (read in full...)
He phased me out but got angry when I moved on.
Q. Hey :-) im sorry that this is such a long one guys. About 6 months ago I started casually dating this guy who I had known for a while. It started because he pursued and chased me and I started to like him back. He told me how he thought of me 24...
A. 20 April 2018: Nope.
Texting him more will not clear you head. YOU have made your choice with guy #2 so stick with that and cut ALL contact with guy #1.
Guy #1 wasn't into you as much as you had hoped. He was in the beginning but he was still looking for what... (read in full...)
A guy I was seeing went quiet on me, he says he is following legal advise.
Q. Im just wondering what are peoples thoughts. I was seeing a guy who went quiet on me we had been seeing each other for 6 month. i heard from him a handful of times in 2 month and didnt get to see him . I didnt sit about waiting for him i got on with ...
A. 19 April 2018: Do you feel you HAVE to keep seeing him because he has PTSD? That it's partly out of pity? Or that you can somehow HELP him?
I think you CAN judge a (wo)man by his/her actions.
Are his actions that of someone you can see a future with?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is all about himself during sex, but never about me.
Q. Hello, I was hoping I could ask for some help regarding my sex life. I have a wonderful 2 year relationship with my boyfriend. Genuinely feel like I've found the one for me, I think he's amazing. However, he's the first person I've slept with...
A. 19 April 2018: I think you do NEED to talk about it. Sure he doesn't like to hear that he IS BAD in bed (because let's face it, if he spends the 4 minutes you are having sex focused on HIS pleasure ONLY then he is a BAD lover).
If he was a bad cook, would yo... (read in full...)
A guy I was seeing went quiet on me, he says he is following legal advise.
Q. Im just wondering what are peoples thoughts. I was seeing a guy who went quiet on me we had been seeing each other for 6 month. i heard from him a handful of times in 2 month and didnt get to see him . I didnt sit about waiting for him i got on with ...
A. 19 April 2018: I would just block him, OP
Him seeking legal advice COULD be because he has been stalking someone. The fact that he didn't REALLY give you an explanation, just some vague excuse, kind of point to him being in need of legal advice because HE did s... (read in full...)
I have an ex that wont let go.
Q. Me and my ex girlfriend split up 4, maybe even closer to 5 years ago. In the end, she got quite nasty and I ended up blocking her on Facebook. Fast forward a few years and I get a message request from a previously deactivated account of hers,...
A. 19 April 2018: BLOCK her? why even click on her requests?
Don't accept request from people you don't know in person. That way you can NOW allow her back.
Unless she stalks you in person or harass you, YOU are in change on who gets access to you online.
I... (read in full...)
Should I be thankful for the little I've got?
Q. Yes, mod, I’m 17. The only person I can talk to about my depression and anxiety is my boyfriend but I’m stuck in a polygamous relationship with him and his girlfriend. However, I love him and I’m getting tired of sharing him. I just want his body ...
A. 19 April 2018: Why do you think you will be alone for the rest of your life?
You are 17!! Not 97!... (read in full...)
Should I be thankful for the little I've got?
Q. Yes, mod, I’m 17. The only person I can talk to about my depression and anxiety is my boyfriend but I’m stuck in a polygamous relationship with him and his girlfriend. However, I love him and I’m getting tired of sharing him. I just want his body ...
A. 18 April 2018: I agree with Andie's Thoughts,
If you WANT monogamy, THIS guy isn't for you. That is NOT what HE is looking for.
You are 17. What is the hurry? Why settle for something that doesn't make you happy to be involved in?
So you can talk to hi... (read in full...)
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