Should I reach out to him again after a long time away?
Q. Hi everyone! While working a contract gig, I developed a huge crush on someone in our building. We chatted a little bit, kind of had lunch once, but our schedules were never consistent. On my last day, he left early. I planned to ask him out for ...
A. 17 June 2018: Well, then you just check him of your "to do list or the I wish I had reached out list".
It's OK. Not all guy you meet will be interested to the same level as you. It happens, the things is to NOT waste time on the ones YOU have no interest... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to him again after a long time away?
Q. Hi everyone! While working a contract gig, I developed a huge crush on someone in our building. We chatted a little bit, kind of had lunch once, but our schedules were never consistent. On my last day, he left early. I planned to ask him out for ...
A. 29 May 2018: I agree with the JUST MESSAGE him and see what happens. Just ask him if he is still interested in meeting up for drinks and what day might work for him.
That way he has AMPLE way of showing interest or turning you down politely.
And if he doe... (read in full...)
A baby usually brings a family closer but I’m just thinking that now that I’m really “growing up” my mom and I are becoming as estranged as we’ve been before. Can anyone please give me perspective?
Q. Hey all! I’m twenty six and recently married, having my first baby. I’m excited, scared and also, so grateful that he’s coming. Our families are excited but at the same time, there’s discord. My Catholic mother wants the baby baptized, we do ...
A. 29 May 2018: There will more often than not be the notion that a baby pulls a family closer, but there will always be parents and grandparents and even great-grandparents who want to "leave" their mark on this new arrival and make choices.
I think you and your... (read in full...)
Why am I never a man’s first choice?
Q. Hi good people, I’m feeling a bit down today and was hoping you might be able to offer me some advice or even just words of comfort. I’m 32 (33 in July) and I’ve been single for 3 years now. My previous long-term relationship was rocky and I’m de...
A. 29 May 2018: Being the "first choice" doesn't always mean the "best choice". So I'd reconsider that notion.
BUT while in the first 2-3 months of dating a guy either TALKS a lot about or to an ex (OH we are just super close friends.. blah blah) - I'd end it a... (read in full...)
Should I remain single or take a chance on this guy?
Q. Hi. I'm a single mum, 36 years old, I've been single for about 6.5 years. I've dated in that time but last date was over 2/3 years ago. I'm considering staying single forever, I'm not good at relationships and I don't like who I become. But I st...
A. 28 May 2018: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
And why so doom and gloom before anything has even happened? How come it's ALL your fault for the past relationships not working out?
If you have ISSUES, then you might WANT to work on those instead of preem... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I know he's been texting his ex?
Q. I have been kind of talking to this guy and hooking up with him for a few weeks now, and one night we were sitting at this bar and his ex girlfriend walks by and I noticed he was staring at her for a bit. Now I only know it’s his ex girlfrie...
A. 28 May 2018: You two aren't a couple?
Just talking and hooking up?
If so, then WHY is it any of your business WHO he talks to? WHO he texts?
Besides if he is moving out of state soon, what's the point?
He obviously isn't OVER her, he is obviously ... (read in full...)
My superiors kept me in the dark about an employee's recent transfer
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles, This is not a romance question, it‘s work-related. I’m a department supervisor in a mid-sized company. Long story short, I’ve just learned that one of the employees I manage, and who was hired only 3 months ago, applied fo...
A. 28 May 2018: I think sometimes the people who work "above" you make decision you should have been included in for unknown reasons. This is one of them.
If I were you I'd talk to your boss about hiring someone for the guy's job (the old one he left for this.. "... (read in full...)
I kissed a girl and my boyfriend didn't like it, what do I do?
Q. My partner and I have been together for 2 and a half years. During this time we've both expressed desires and fantasies in the bedroom and things we want to do. My boyfriend asked if I would have sex/be sexual with a girl while he watched, or have ...
A. 28 May 2018: It's mature of you to take the responsibility for your own actions and not blaming him.
Sure you might have (while drunk) figured it would be "clever" to have a snog with a woman to see if you could even consider that fantasy of his... And then... (read in full...)
Is this just a great friendship or does he have a crush?
Q. Ok, so this is a bit complicated. We are two cross cultural couples- my husband and I are Asian while the other couple is European. We used to live in the same country but we returned to our own after a couple of years. During our time there, ...
A. 28 May 2018: Maybe Code Warrior DOES have a point with showing your husband. If you feel you can't talk to him, showing him the question to start a conversation might be a start, it might not.
Sure, we can all pat you on the head and tell you "it's OK" and ... (read in full...)
Should I lie and say the baby is his?
Q. Ive made a mess but now ive got to grow up and sort it out. Me and my 'ex'boyfriend had a break , we didnt say what each other can or cant do and if we were going to get back together. I had a feeling he was seeing someone else but just left him to ...
A. 28 May 2018: I agree, you tell him the TRUTH.
Not only does HE deserve to know, but so does the CHILD. While the biological father isn't interested (WTF didn't you and he use a condom? You are both OLD enough to know that unprotected sex can lead to pregnanc... (read in full...)
Was my co worker trying to start an affair with me?
Q. I'm friendly and cordial to this co worker who works in the same department with me,just like everyone else. He got my number from the office so he texts me outside work when he wants to exchange shifts.However,lately he has been been sendin...
A. 27 May 2018: Being nice doesn't mean you "invite" people to be inappropriate with you.
So, no OP this isn't your fault AT ALL.
You can't control how others behave. All you can control is how YOU act and behave. So if in the future someone else crosses a l... (read in full...)
I kissed a girl and my boyfriend didn't like it, what do I do?
Q. My partner and I have been together for 2 and a half years. During this time we've both expressed desires and fantasies in the bedroom and things we want to do. My boyfriend asked if I would have sex/be sexual with a girl while he watched, or have ...
A. 27 May 2018: Well, you learned a valuable lesson, not a pleasant one but a lesson you WILL probably remember.
Talking bedroom fantasies is a FAR cry from actually doing things in reality.
Adding more people to the relationship is RARELY a good idea. Peopl... (read in full...)
I've had it up to here with asshole men and I just want to be a lesbian
Q. Hi DC need a little help here. I really hate men so much. They mistreat me and use me cheat on me and make me feel im not enough for them. I don't think i want to date men again i dont feel any emotion when I am with them. I don't feel much again. ...
A. 26 May 2018: So go for it!?
OP there are no guarantees in life. YOU have to TAKE the time to get to know a person. That way you can AVOID a lot of the assholes (male AND female out there) It's EASY (super easy) to say that men are all assholes and they suc... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem interested. Should I just move on?
Q. So, I talked to a guy on plenty of fish for 2 weeks and decided to add him on fb. And now we rarely talk. He will like or heart pics of me but never write me or call me. I always initiate our conversations. Should I just unadd him and move on. I ...
A. 26 May 2018: Just block and remove him. If he isn't making an effort to talk to you, or find a way to meet up or whatnot... after ONLY 2 weeks of talking... then stop wasting YOUR time and move on.
Find someone who is looking for the same things.
You can... (read in full...)
It drives me nuts! I can't live like she does.
Q. Does anyone else avoid thier partner? When I have time off I don’t mind, but my job has got really intense recently, I been working 10-11 hour days, and can’t sleep at night because of stress that I might lose my job. I don’t live with my partner, ...
A. 26 May 2018: I think you need to figure out what YOU want.
What do you want from a relationship?
What do you have to offer?
It seems like you and your current GF are not a good match on many fronts. She is OK with not having to work hard, to let you pu... (read in full...)
Help! I’ve fallen for my friend, but I don’t know what to do about it!
Q. I was hoping if a female mind would be able to help out here because I'm in love with my best friend and I don't know if she feels the same way. I'm 23 and never had a proper relationship before so not terribly experienced! However, met thi...
A. 25 May 2018: She has a BF!
That should AUTOMATICALLY put her in the "don't go there pile".
Doesn't matter if he is "controlling" - she seems like a girl who would walk if he isn't what she wants. She doesn't need a "Shiny knight" to "save" her from this BF... (read in full...)
I accused my boyfriend of lying and now he won't talk to me
Q. Ok, so I'm not in a really good place right now and I'm hoping for some help. My bf is a super sweet guy but he can also be emotionally distant and introverted. I don't like this part of him and I feel insecure because of it. I'm trying to f...
A. 25 May 2018: The married man is on DC asking advice. YOU are.
The fact that you are so delusional about your own action and behavior, well maybe that explains why you are so insecure and distrustful.
YOU CAN NOT trust a married man who cheats on his wi... (read in full...)
My fiancé is acting different during sex! Is this normal?
Q. I am 29 and a fitness instructor and fiance he is 32 and is a financial analyst. We have a good sex life just til now. Foreplay he was never that much into it but it would still happen. Lately, foreplay is non-existent. Lately, there has be...
A. 25 May 2018: I think you need to have another chat about the biting and hair pulling. IF it is something you are NOT into, you need to make that clear.
You two are getting married - I think he wants to make sure you have and active and "creative" sex life.
... (read in full...)
Is this just a great friendship or does he have a crush?
Q. Ok, so this is a bit complicated. We are two cross cultural couples- my husband and I are Asian while the other couple is European. We used to live in the same country but we returned to our own after a couple of years. During our time there, ...
A. 24 May 2018: I think you are both playing with fire.
If he is having a crush on you, then it's because you have encouraged it. And perhaps because you also are having a small crush on him as well, whether you want to admit it or not.
Think about it, would ... (read in full...)
I accused my boyfriend of lying and now he won't talk to me
Q. Ok, so I'm not in a really good place right now and I'm hoping for some help. My bf is a super sweet guy but he can also be emotionally distant and introverted. I don't like this part of him and I feel insecure because of it. I'm trying to f...
A. 24 May 2018: So you ask him for details so you can "catch" him at doing wrong? or lying or whatever slight you hope to find?
Personally, I can see why he has had enough.
WHY was it so important to you to dissect his account of what he did?
And why do y... (read in full...)
Should I accept the Bible as the final authority on sex before marriage?
Q. I am in the path towards spirituality and I have been reading the Bible and would like to be baptized one day I am not a born again Christian but I realize in the difficult times life has failed me and I need salvation - I need prayer and I nee...
A. 24 May 2018: There are a lot of things in the bible that perhaps doesn't make sense in this day and age, and many things that DOES make sense.
I don't think that in order to find enlightenment or rediscover faith you have to AGREE with 100% of the bible.
... (read in full...)
Was my co worker trying to start an affair with me?
Q. I'm friendly and cordial to this co worker who works in the same department with me,just like everyone else. He got my number from the office so he texts me outside work when he wants to exchange shifts.However,lately he has been been sendin...
A. 24 May 2018: He was definitely trying to start something. To push your boundaries.
The whole "innocent" picture, then a selfie, then "demand" for naughty" selfies... It kind of shows how disrespectful he is.
I think you did VERY WELL in setting boundari... (read in full...)
I’m completely confused about my feelings for him!
Q. Hello.... i am in the midst of a total dilemma romantically which is being worsened by the fact that i have so little trust in my own feelings and judgement. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months. He is very kind and lovely, treats me well, is ...
A. 24 May 2018: Yep, I'm with N91
End it and stop stringing him along because he is a nice guy. You aren't attracted to him physically, you are already looking to see what else is out there... After ONLY 8 months.
It's NOT fair on him.
And being single isn'... (read in full...)
Sister didn't invite me to her birthday but instead asked me to watch her kids. Advise please.
Q. Sister didn't invite me to her birthday but instead asked me to watch her kids. Advise please. So recently, i got a text from my sister asking me if i could mind her kids on a Saturday night for her birthday (which at the time was about 6 weeks aw...
A. 24 May 2018: Yikes, OP
You sister is pretty tactless! Sorry, I'd let her know that I can't babysit that day. It's not like she couldn't tell the "organizer" hey do you mind inviting my sister too? But she didn't even think about that, she only thought ... (read in full...)
He’s been giving porn more attention than me!
Q. Hey. So me and my boyfriend have been going together for 6 yrs now. Our relationship is pretty good for the most part. However the past couple of months he's been giving porn more attention than me. It's made me a bit insecure, and I'm starting...
A. 24 May 2018: IF you don't want him to watch it during sex, TELL him. And if he can't respect that, STOP having sex.
As for watching it otherwise - for the most part I think it's not a HUGE deal UNLESS it means he is neglecting you in the bedroom, and since he... (read in full...)
I don’t always reach orgasm and he gets upset! Any suggestions so we are both happy and satisfied?
Q. My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, that is even if I have never had an orgasm from intercourse. I need oral or extra attention down there but there have been days when I just can’t orgasm, like just before periods etc.This has never bothered ...
A. 24 May 2018: I'd say the BEST way for you both to ENJOY sex he needs to through out his preconceived notion of WHAT a woman experience during sex.
80% of women do NOT climax from penetration. 80%.
Some women even have issues achieving an orgasm from mast... (read in full...)
I Like A Guy But He Seems like a "Bad Boy/Player" - I'm Turned Off?
Q. There's a hot guy on my course (economics) who is in some of my tutorial groups etc and he flirts with me quite a bit, looking me up and down, winking at me asking me if his belt buckle looks big etc. He has the SS haircut with lots of hair gel, ...
A. 23 May 2018: Yes, he sounds like a player or player wanna-be who is into the whole party scene, which is not uncommon for guys his age.
Flirting with you might just be to BOOST his own ego and not because he is interested.
Is it normal to be turned off by... (read in full...)
Can a devout Catholic male can be friends with a transgender girl?
Q. I am wondering if it is possible that a devout Catholic male can be friends with a transgender girl (she was born a boy but transition to a girl)? I did not know she was transgender until after we got to know each other. I enjoy her company but...
A. 23 May 2018: I can't see why not.
I'm like Code Warrior. I don't really buy into this wave of transgender stuff either. I do get that there are people who are GENUINELY in doubt or have "gender dysphoria", body dysphoria, etc etc. And I think they should ... (read in full...)
Has anyone completely moved and drastically cut everyone off because I want to do just that
Q. Has anyone felt this way in their thirties? I love in a major city in the east coast (US) and I want to so desperately leave my job my family my everything behind - I almost want to disappear and go missing - a lot of things in my life have turned ...
A. 23 May 2018: You know OP, it's called EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE for a reason. People drag it along with them where ever they go.
Moving doesn't always change a person's life for the better. Especially if they end up isolated and alone.
However since you don't ... (read in full...)
We never have alone time. Is he taking me forgranted?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months. He has two kids and so do I. I always find someone to watch my kids when he comes home. He works on the road. The problem is he never takes me out. He has family that can watch his kids. He never does. ...
A. 23 May 2018: Have you mentioned you would like more one-on-one time? To go out for dinners? And do some couples stuff?
You say he NEVER takes you out, so this has been the NORM since you started dating?
If so, how is that taking you for granted?
And ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's over-friendly encounter with his ex has me worried
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for over a month. He broke up with his ex in January not sure the reason why. I met him in February and by the third week of March we were a couple. Today while in the store with my boyfriend we saw his ex. S...
A. 23 May 2018: Honestly, OP
Asking the same question OVER and OVER doesn't change the facts.
Except for the fact that YOU seem to change.. like now it's no longer you dating him 10 days after their break up.... And that in this new post you gloss over the f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is extremely shy, but can put on fake confidence which is starting to worry me
Q. I don't get my boyfriend lately. After being together for nearly 2 years, i feel that I don't really know who he is sometimes. When we first met until about a year, he was VERY insecure, very shy. The type that would hunch over while walking. And ...
A. 23 May 2018: It seems a bit unfair of you to DEMAND that a shy person "makes more effort" if he IS a very shy person. And then when he DOES try you get upset too.
Damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.
Yes, he might be trying to come off as more conf... (read in full...)
Please help to explain to my sister that I am not a monster for looking at porn!
Q. I need the help of the people of DearCupid here. I have been trying to explain to my sister that all guys look at porn one way or another but she wouldn't listen and thinks I am a monster for looking at images of naked women. I have been a role ...
A. 22 May 2018: So what OP?
If your sister thinks porn is disgusting and guys who look at it are too, then THAT is how she thinks. That "most" guys look at it won't change her mind about porn or those who look at it.
You fell of the pedestal (in her eyes). S... (read in full...)
I’m a first time dater and find myself stressing about the romantic/ affectionate part of it!
Q. Does anyone have tips for letting yourself be more romantic/affectionate with someone when it's totally outside of your comfort zone? Been seeing someone for a couple weeks now (first time ever dating) and can tell he wants more from me physical...
A. 22 May 2018: Tell him that you are NOT comfortable YET with closer physical intimacy, that taking things slow is what YOU would prefer.
GET to know this person WELL - GET comfortable in YOUR time.
If he CAN NOT wait for you to become comfortable then... (read in full...)
My youngest children have fallen out with my oldest child!
Q. I have 3 children who are now young adults and 2 of them have fallen out with their eldest sibling. I have tried for almost a year now to get them to talk and they’re all willing to talk to each other as long as the other party says sorry first. ...
A. 21 May 2018: Unfortunately, you can not put a "let's-all-get-along-shirt" on your kids and hey presto!, they will be talking to each other again.
What you CAN do, is WRITE them each a letter where you express the loss you still feel to this day by NOT having y... (read in full...)
How do I support my husband in his business stress?
Q. Hi all Im wondering how i can support my husband in his stress. He runs two businesses that could be successful but due to outside factors, things arent going well. He literally cannot catch a break. He most recently said: "if i have to deal wit...
A. 21 May 2018: I think you should ask HIM.
And I think you two should talk about how he talks to you, that needs to stop. I get that being stressed sucks and can make people on edge but there is no good excuse to lash out at you.... (read in full...)
Should I ask for the money again or just let it go and block her?
Q. Hi everyone. I know this lady for few years and I can’t call her my friend but we hangout for a coffee sometimes. I find her cheap, not that she is not spending but just her attitude towards money. 2 months ago she was asking to attend an event ...
A. 21 May 2018: Yikes, she sounds like a right cow!
Glad you got your money back!
... (read in full...)
How can I adapt better to what my career will be? How can I make this better for myself?
Q. Not a relationship question more of a general life question and how to cope with the working routine. I’m 29 years old, graduated college with a BS in the Health Sciences and have been working in my field for about 8 months now. I love my job and ...
A. 21 May 2018: Welcome to adult life :)
What can you do? You can look in to additional schooling to add onto your degree - maybe you want to specialize? or have a broader VARIETY of job offers.
A friend of mine is a phlebotomist. She prick people with need... (read in full...)
I've only had sex once, have a long distance g/f I'll never meet and I want experience
Q. I am 27. I have never had a phyiscal girlfriend. I had sex once at 24. I have no friends to speak of. All I have is a long distance "girlfriend" i met a few years ago. She lives in another country, and that along with money means that we will nev...
A. 21 May 2018: A lot of "online LDR" are just pretend or fantasy relationships because they are not realistic, there IS no future there. It's nice to have a "GF/BF" someone to talk to get/give affection to, attention too and share thing with. BUT if there are no ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is non existent
Q. Me and my gf sex life is non existent. Sometimes I look forward to it and it can be over so soon. No foreplay happens, she doesn’t let me go anywhere near her for foreplay. She used to be really wild, and now it’s gone to nothing. I’m still up for ...
A. 20 May 2018: I think you should TALK to her about it. IF you can date and have sex... you can TALK about it.
Sure it might be you, it might be her, it might be a LOT of things and you won't know for SURE until you talk about. And don't take - "no, everythi... (read in full...)
Why do guys I meet (and like) only like to flirt and never do anything?
Q. Why do guys I meet (and like) only like to flirt and never do anything? I have an unusual job, we do fieldwork and one expedition can last for several months, so we get to know each other well and spend time together. They are all very open...
A. 19 May 2018: The dating pool at your age IS getting smaller but that doesn't mean you should get LESS selective.
I'm sure you are also aware that there IS a double standard when a guy is flirty or even a little inappropriate at work... and when a woman is... (read in full...)
He broke up with my but regrets it 1.5 years later. I still love him, but what is the right thing to do?
Q. My ex and I are high school sweethearts and each other’s first love. We had been together for a decade and the last 4 years were long distance. I thought he was the guy I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with;unfortunately he ...
A. 19 May 2018: You don't find it strange that he is pursuing you now that YOU are in a good and healthy relationship?
The thing is, 1. he cheated and 2. he was UNSURE about his feelings for you after a 10 YEAR relationship.
NOW that he HASN'T been able to fin... (read in full...)
Why do guys I meet (and like) only like to flirt and never do anything?
Q. Why do guys I meet (and like) only like to flirt and never do anything? I have an unusual job, we do fieldwork and one expedition can last for several months, so we get to know each other well and spend time together. They are all very open...
A. 18 May 2018: I think flirting with guys you work with is a BAD idea to start with. It makes you seem unprofessional (them too) and someone to not take serious.
If you are OK with a guy flirting and touching you before you even really know them, you kind of ... (read in full...)
Should I ask for the money again or just let it go and block her?
Q. Hi everyone. I know this lady for few years and I can’t call her my friend but we hangout for a coffee sometimes. I find her cheap, not that she is not spending but just her attitude towards money. 2 months ago she was asking to attend an event ...
A. 18 May 2018: I also doubt you will see a penny of this.
IF she is to pay you she needs to pay you in CASH, you don't need any more fines from your bank because of HER writing bad checks.
Also... WHY would you pay all of it upfront for someone who isn'... (read in full...)
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