Should I add my ex to my contacts or just erase him completely?
Q. Me and my boyfriend recently broke up because we've been in a long distance relationship after he moved out the state. We both didn't cheat, but we just couldn't keep the spark in LDR and we decided to move on since we both have different ...
A. 30 June 2018: I think the BEST way for you to move on and move forward in life is to NOT hold on to an ex.
If you keep him around it's sort of like an anchor that hold you from moving on.
If you feel you could be "friends" down the line, let him know and... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's close friend from his highschool group is obsessed with him and he's slept with her... And while she hates me, he won't stop hanging out with her
Q. So my boyfriend has a really close friend group from highschool. 3 other guys and 3 girls and they have a groupchat they always text in and are always planning hangouts together. This one girl in his group has always been obsessed with him (i've ...
A. 30 June 2018: IS there any truth to what he is saying? That in order to hang out with friends he HAS to hang out with her and talk to her too?
Or is that just an excuse?
He knows what she is doing to you, he knows how you feel and yet... he prioritize her h... (read in full...)
I fear that he has grown controlling, though he says that I am too sensitive.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We are both 23 and met in our first year of university. I did not take uni seriously initially and ended up failing and being suspended for 2 years for it. I was struggling financially and relied on ...
A. 30 June 2018: Honestly, OP?
You don't owe him squat. He wants you to be so grateful that you will say "how high" when he says :"jump".
Yes, he took financially care of you but that was HIS choice. He didn't HAVE to. So no, if you don't WANT to move to his c... (read in full...)
To have sex or not ever have sex?
Q. Mod note: combined posts Why are people hypocrites when it comes to sex? And by that I mean, I am a 26 year old virgin and my friends tell me to wait and how my virginity is such a great gift. They will tell me I am lucky to be virgin, that sex ...
A. 29 June 2018: Being a virgin doesn't make you a unicorn or some rare weird thing, ALL it means is that you are SEXUALLY inexperienced. For now.
NOTHING wrong in that.
TBH "saving" your virginity is not a matter of being weird. I think if you replace virginit... (read in full...)
Why do men want to show off?
Q. I am back in the dating game after two years of not looking. For the first time in my life I am looking to actually pay attention to the red flags(previously when the signs read “wrong way”) I just kept going. I would say I am an attractive women...
A. 29 June 2018: I agree with Code Warrior that SOME men will do this. Why?
Because they think women wants ONLY a successful man who CAN support her and bring "bacon" to the table.
Most women want men who are financially stable and hardworking. Of course they w... (read in full...)
What do I do when I'm not ready for this to be over and fear that's what will happen if I told him I read that?
Q. Even my boyfriend and I got together, he told me "You can read my diaries, but do not tell me about it." When I asked about it he said it's because he wants to be understood, but he doesn't want anyone to read his deepest thoughts. So, after his ex ...
A. 29 June 2018: I don't think he wanted you to read his journal so you could better understand him, but so that HE could better manipulate you. Quite seriously.
Have you not felt like you aren't as vital in his life as you thought? (after reading them)
My gues... (read in full...)
I planned a trip with friends and now they are going on a day I can't go
Q. I planned a trip to a theme park and invited a couple of friends. I was excited about this. Then one if those friend's invited another couple of friends. One of those friends can't go on the day I am going, so they are now going on another day that ...
A. 28 June 2018: That is a shitty attitude of your friend to do this knowing full well that YOU couldn't make that date.
But... I would just go the day that works for you and those who CAN go and have a blast.
And next time you consider planning somethi... (read in full...)
Am I being too harsh in blocking her completely out of my life?
Q. I am currently going through a breakup. I already have a hard time making friends, for some odd reason (whcih I am in a way blessed) most of the few people in my circle are now also goiung through breakups, divorces, single, etc. so it helps me to ...
A. 28 June 2018: Block her.
If your safety becomes and issue because she gossips or blabs then DEFINITELY cut her off, and I wouldn't tell her either. I'd just cut her off.
Now it may not be out of malicious intent, she just feels "helpful" or part of the dram... (read in full...)
Is it for sure that I will get a green card?
Q. I got a divorce 3 years ago because my husband was emotionally and physically abusive. I have a 4 year old daughter, and i always do my best to sacrifice the best for her. I live in the middle east, and i always have to go to Texas, USA for months ...
A. 28 June 2018: Oh and I forgot to add, even having money doesn't automatically "give" you a green card.
... (read in full...)
Is it for sure that I will get a green card?
Q. I got a divorce 3 years ago because my husband was emotionally and physically abusive. I have a 4 year old daughter, and i always do my best to sacrifice the best for her. I live in the middle east, and i always have to go to Texas, USA for months ...
A. 28 June 2018: I agree with Aunt Cindy,
Contact an immigration lawyer. The law and rules seems to be changing all the time and since money is no object, I think you are MUCH better off that way then asking people who can't give you any 100% accurate LEGAL in... (read in full...)
My best friend is in love with me but I don't feel the same way and now I've lost my best and only friend because we're not even on talking terms
Q. Me and my guy best friend has been friends for years. He confessed his feelings to me, he was in love with me too much. He would never leave a day without talking to me. I love him as my best friend. And i can't imagine myself not having him beside ...
A. 28 June 2018: I know this sucks. But in reality it's the best thing you both can do. Cutting contact 100%.
Because you won't (and shouldn't) change your mind about how you feel and neither will he (for now, but in time he will).
Best advice I can give you i... (read in full...)
I'm at my wit's end about my boyfriend's constant complaints!
Q. My boyfriend is a loving, faithful and caring person. We have been in a relationship for 6 months and dated for 6 months before that. We have good communication, friendship, chemistry and sexual compatibility. Everything is great except for his ...
A. 27 June 2018: Just learn to call him out on it and tell him NO. If he says - you have to change your hair, you tell him no. And remind him that he is "doing that critical complaining again". I think in time, IF you keep calling him on it he can -re-train" his ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend left for a night of hard drugs and drinking and I haven't heard from him in 24 hours. Should I dump him?
Q. Hi. My boyfriend went on a night out that resulted in me not hearing from him for over 24 hours. He said he had ended up drinking all night with some guy he met and tried to get cocaine too. While doing this he also decided to ignore my messages ...
A. 27 June 2018: If you don't want to date a guy who drinks and does drug, then yes. End it.
But let's be realistic here for a few. WHY can your BF not go out on a night out without having to CONSTANTLY text or call you? I know you are from the age group that don... (read in full...)
I basically have Chandler Bing's personality! How do I change?
Q. Dear Aunts, I realized that I have a flaw in my personality which is that I enjoy putting others down/make fun of them. I always did it thinking that the person wouldn't mind, would take it lightly and laugh at it. I told myself that it was just...
A. 27 June 2018: Take control of your mouth.
THINK before you speak. It does take some "re-training" of your brain but you CAN do it. IF you put your mind to it and do the work.
EVERY time a "rude snide asshat'ish comment" pops into your mind and you are abou... (read in full...)
Boyfriend tells me he doesn't want kids, I leave crying and I haven't heard from him since. How is he so cold?
Q. My LDR boyfriend of a year and a half finally admitted to me that he had 100% decided that he doesn't want kids. I am 40, have frozen my eggs and most days I feel the incredible yearning for a family. I say "finally admitted" because he has k...
A. 27 June 2018: OP, you presume that he knew all along that he didn't want kids and JUST used you. Maybe because you feel hurt when the truth finally came out, maybe because you sensed it from the get go. It might BE that he was unsure, and it might BE that he just ... (read in full...)
My crushes never last long. Is this a sign of commitment issues?
Q. I keep having this issue where I'll crush on guys I barely know pretty hard, then all of a sudden, the feelings fade. Is this normal? Is it just because I don't know them that well? The only time my feelings for someone haven't faded was in my first ...
A. 27 June 2018: A crush is not about relationships. It's a passing infatuation. Some crushes lasts forever because it becomes more of an obsession or fantasy and some don't last long at all.
I don't why you compare crushes to relationships.
As for someone in y... (read in full...)
Am I mean to delete all our photos from his phone?
Q. I plan to break up with my boyfriend but I don't want to let him know until I delete all our photos together from his phone. Am I mean to delete all our photos from his phone? I never wanted to take pictures with him in the first place because I ...
A. 26 June 2018: Like EVERYONE have mentioned, this is not legal. It's not your "right" to go through his phone or delete stuff OFF his phone which is HIS private property.
Now TBH I get it if any of them are nudes or semi nudes but just selfies with the two if y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being secretive of his phone and is liking Instagram pictures of girls in bikinis!
Q. I am 16 and my boyfriend is 15. We have been dating for almost 5 months. He is from Israel and went to go visit his family for 6 weeks. It has only been less than a week since he left but for a couple of weeks before he left I have been getting a ...
A. 25 June 2018: Honestly, OP
His phone is HIS, I'm sure you have your own and don't NEED to be on his. HE (and you) have EVERY right to privacy when it comes to your tech (maybe except from your OWN parents if they check up on you). You wouldn't read his diary or... (read in full...)
I’m starting to worry about her relationship with a lesbian friend!
Q. My girlfriend is friends with a lesbian. I'm starting to get worried. Am I overreacting? They've become really close. They've been spending a lot of time together. Sometimes, she goes for a girls night out with her friends including her le...
A. 25 June 2018: Just because her friend is a lesbian and your GF a female doesn't mean that the friend will "automatically" hit on your GF or feel a sexual attraction to her. And IF your GF isn't bi-sexual or CURIOUS about f/f - then what's the problem?
Could... (read in full...)
My ex wants to say goodbye!
Q. My ex of 1 year got a job opportunity in France a few months back and we decided to end it due to the distance. She wants to see me before she leaves but I don’t know if that is a good idea as I’m trying to move on and it may spark old feelings ...
A. 24 June 2018: If you DO agree to meet up for a goodbye, make it in public, like a dinner or out for a drink. And don't go back to yours or hers after. Just talk and wish her well.
If you truly want to move on saying goodbye might help. Sure, it might stir up ... (read in full...)
What if I fail ......
Q. Hello everyone! I am in the middle of some crazy studying because very soon I’ll be taking a competitive examination (if I pass I will have to take another three competitive examinations in the course of the next year) to upgrade my career and get a ...
A. 24 June 2018: What if you DON'T fail? Are you ready for the harder work? The harder challenges, etc?
No, I doubt ANYONE will think you stupid for failing. At least you are TRYING to better yourself. I also doubt you would be taking these exams if you didn't t... (read in full...)
How do I ask for a sex toy?
Q. I want a sex toy because, I'm a 17 year old girl now. I know after I ask I'm going to say, think of it this way, I'm still a virgin. Most people my age aren't anymore. But the problem is, I have to ask my dad. Not a mom. How do I do this? I'm ...
A. 24 June 2018: Why do you need a sex toy at your age?
You got TWO good hands and 10 fingers (I presume)...
I agree with Aunty BimBim, ADULTS own and use sex toys and they BUY their own. Online or in a store.
I have 3 girls and I wouldn't buy ANY of my g... (read in full...)
Is my sister crossing a relationship boundary line? I
Q. First i want to start by saying that setting boundaries in relationships has always been confusing for me. Some background info on my gradual Relationship with my sister.. She's always gotten mad at her boyfriends for being friendly with me. Me ...
A. 24 June 2018: I think both YOUR guy and YOUR sister ARE crossing boundaries here but my guess is they will both play it off as like it's the most normal thing to do.
You have only been dating for a month. HE shouldn't be talking ABOUT you with her or anyone e... (read in full...)
I don't want a boyfriend, I'm not interested in sex and I just want to be left alone!
Q. I have absolutely no interest in sex and while I've had it before, I'm honestly disgusted by it. The whole thing: having people in my bubble, having a face too close to mine, random unnecessary touches, kissing is just gross to me. I don't like the ...
A. 22 June 2018: Thanks for the update, OP
Maybe start by looking for a forum for asexuals? see if this is actually what you "feel" or "want".
If sex hurts or is uncomfortable, you need to see a GYN. If it felt like sandpaper than you most likely weren't v... (read in full...)
I suffer from OCD and crippling jealousy and my husband's occasional comments about other women's looks drive me over the edge
Q. Hi, I hope you guys can give me some wise advice, because i can't deal with and handle my OCD and my jealousy. I do suffer from OCD and now my OCD appears to have crossed into the realm of the physical too, whereby i get obsessed by a part...
A. 22 June 2018: I think you should try CBT. But like WiseOwlE suggest make SURE the counselor you seek out are SPECIALIZED in this and not just another "I'll listen to you talk for hours, bill you and let you try and sort it out yourself" kind of counselor.
What ... (read in full...)
He blocked me on Instagram then lied about why!
Q. He blocked me on Instagram and lied to me about it saying his app had a problem. Yes I believed it. I have another account on Instagram for makeup and fashion posts. He commented on another girl’s picture saying “Dayyyuuumm”. He has all his exes and ...
A. 22 June 2018: You know what he is like, you know he isn't going to change - not for you or anyone else.
THIS is who he is - an absolutely self-absorbed guy who cares about no one BUT himself.
End it with him and find someone who doesn't NEED a whole "ha... (read in full...)
Was I wrong not to thank the ex who agreed we would go “no contact” for the flowers?
Q. So, my ex fiancé sent me flowers Monday, about a year ago he left me for his ex that he was stuck on. I knew something was wrong but he never admitted it. When she rejected him when he went back home he tired to get back with me. I flat out ignor...
A. 22 June 2018: Nope, you are definitely not wrong. Toss the flower and keep moving on. You don't OWE him a thank you for a gift you never wanted.
The dude might have thought that flowers fix everything but YOU know it doesn't.
He might have sent them becaus... (read in full...)
My bf drunk texted his ex FWB and now I feel like I have a right to go through his phone
Q. My boyfriend of a year and 8 months drunkenly text a girl whom he used to see sexually before we started dating. I feel like I have a right to go through his phone now but at the same time I don’t. He feels terribly about the situation and has since ...
A. 22 June 2018: No, you don't have any special "rights" to go through his phone.
You DO have the right to say, this is not OK, and I won't date you any more.
Here is the thing OP, you CAN NOT control what he does but snooping or going through his things. It w... (read in full...)
I ask women I sleep with about their opinion on abortion because I don't want kids. How do I know the girl I'm seeing is on the same page?
Q. So I met a wonderful girl online and we hit it off really well. We kissed on the first date, had lunch on the second, and ended up sleeping with each other on the third when she invited me over to her apartment for pizza and a movie. We used ...
A. 22 June 2018: Yikes, OP
If you know 100% that you don't want kids, I'd suggest that 1. you use condoms EVERY time and get a vasectomy (still use condoms after that). Vasectomies are not 100% - thus you still need to use birth control - condoms.
You have NO i... (read in full...)
Is a B-cup too small?
Q. Is B-cup too small? Everyone in my family has A-cup boobs, but I am a B-cup. I am not growing anymore, and all my friends and family make fun of me and call me flat. It hurts me a lot. So, on legitimate average? When is a boob size too small, or too ...
A. 22 June 2018: You have the boobs you do. No they are NOT too small... at least for what they were MADE for. Which is NOT to look a certain way but to FEED offspring.
Honestly? Having smaller boobs have many advantages:
1. you can buy a much larger selection... (read in full...)
Newly back on the dating scene, can I booty call a guy or is that creepy?
Q. Hi Cupid, I have a weird question. So, I am newly back on the dating scene after almost 13 years. I am 31. So, I’ve been going on some dates, and a few weeks ago I had two with a lovely guy. We had a great time, connected well and had great che...
A. 21 June 2018: I fully agree with WiseOwlE,
Don't "settle" for casual sex. Not with this guy or any other, if that is what you REALLY wanted you wouldn't have been on serious dating site and going on dates with someone you thought could be a good fit.
Instead... (read in full...)
I miss my abusive ex who cheated on me
Q. Now that I broke up with my verbally abusive ex ( it’s has been a few days)who also cheated on me, I miss him. All I can think about is the good times. I’m trying so hard not to contact him. It seems impossible. What do I do?...
A. 21 June 2018: You can miss someone who is BAD for you.
You can miss someone you know isn't a good person because you also had good times with him.
It's OK to MISS someone you don't want in your life. It happens, it's natural. However, it's NOT healthy.
... (read in full...)
I feel resentful toward my girlfriend. Should I keep trying to make it work?
Q. I met my girlfriend online 7 months ago and we have been living together for the past 4 months. We use to talk on the phone everyday for the first 3 months. She came here from a different country to visit me and hasn't been back to her country ...
A. 21 June 2018: Moving in together after only 3 months of talking is WAY too soon, so it might not be so strange it's not really working out right now.
But regardless of whether you want to try and make it work or give up, you two need to talk.
You two need ... (read in full...)
Should I say I was annoyed about the way he set up meeting his children?
Q. Should i tell him I felt annoyed? My boyfriend of 5 mths recently invited me over to meet his children of 21 and 16. They were having a takeaway night so thought it would casual. We arranged a time and I went over. I knocked the door but got...
A. 20 June 2018: Don't worry, this was just the first meeting.
Next time have him ARRANGE a meetup - dinner/lunch at a restaurant instead. that way EVERYONE is on neutral ground.
And you can't really expect the "kids" to immediately take to you. Maybe he ha... (read in full...)
I know I was stupid for having sex with my ex! What do I do now?
Q. I split up from my fiancé 7 weeks ago due to not making any time for me I’ve tried talking to him loads of times he just walked out on me whenever I tried talking to him so I ended the relationship I did feel better about it up until Sunday gone he ...
A. 20 June 2018: I think first of all you need to stop bashing yourself for this.
However, you have to figure out where you want to go from here.
If you SINCERELY want nothing (not even casual sex/FWB) with the ex, then I think you NEED to cut all contact (if ... (read in full...)
How can I stop obsessing over a taken man?
Q. Has anyone dealt with obsessive love and limerence? I have an issue with being obsessed with my crushes and making up scenarios and fairy tale endings in my head to the point where all I think about is the object of my obsession . To be frank I am ...
A. 19 June 2018: Learn to be professional both in your work-groups now, and later on in your career.
Working on projects is NOT the time to be flirting and making goo-goo eyes at some hunk you have to work with. It's unprofessional and a little sad. Sad in the s... (read in full...)
I'm waiting for a girl to come and sweep me off my feet.
Q. Please bare with me and sorry for the long post. Im in a bit of a slump the past year. Essentially I once again broke up with a girl I'm madly in love with because circumstances prevents us from being together, that being a long distance relatio...
A. 19 June 2018: Hi Sam!
Maybe while you take some time to focus all that energy (that you are currently wasting in building this ex a top tier pedestal) you use that energy on yourself. There is ALWAYS room for improvement. There is always room for finding ... (read in full...)
I don't want a boyfriend, I'm not interested in sex and I just want to be left alone!
Q. I have absolutely no interest in sex and while I've had it before, I'm honestly disgusted by it. The whole thing: having people in my bubble, having a face too close to mine, random unnecessary touches, kissing is just gross to me. I don't like the ...
A. 19 June 2018: I agree with Code Warrior,
I think your behavior is VERY misleading. However, I get that you are ONLY looking for company but you ARE presuming that men will read your mind and understand that you are NOT interested in more. As you can see by a... (read in full...)
He said we were moving too fast, and that he had bigger plans.
Q. I met this guy about a month ago and everything was going great. We were so genuinely happy with each other, always laughing and having fun. I met his friends and family. It felt like we were moving towards a relationship. We would see each other ...
A. 18 June 2018: Cut all contact, OP
He doesn't want what you want. I do agree that after ONLY a month of seeing each other this seems... rushing it.
And for you to get SO insecure over ONE text after he had a night out when you BARELY know the guy, it's too mu... (read in full...)
None of my friends like him .... what can I do?
Q. I (33F) am looking for advice regarding my boyfriend(31M) of two years. None of my friends like him. In fact, they all basically refuse to spend time with him. The typical reasons for this would have to do with the guy being a cheater, abusive...
A. 18 June 2018: OP, this is who he is.
Your friends aren't dating him so they don't REALLY have to accept him "as he is" like you do.
To be honest of some guy I didn't know well (even if he was dating one of my good friends) asked my MOTHER about her last m... (read in full...)
I worry so much about my baby, I just need a balanced view.
Q. Hi All, I've posted a number of times before and you've always provided me with great advice. My child's dad and I split before he was born ( 16weeks pregnant). Our son was planned - tried for a year to conceive him..split after ten yea...
A. 18 June 2018: I wouldn't try and force your ex to spend more time.
I don't think THAT would be beneficial to your son at all.
What your son NEEDS as he grows up are POSITIVE role-models and people who WANT to be around him.
I don't think your ex real... (read in full...)
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