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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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I just found out my boyfriend lost his virginity to another girl during our break up
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up. He got with another girl and he lost his virginity with her. But then we got back together four months ago and I just found out he had sex with her. It hurt me really bad and I dont know how to feel about it. So do ...
A. 15 June 2010: Awww sweetie, sorry to hear that,you must be sad .
But perhaps it was for the best, he had already disappointed you and you were finding difficult to accept what had happened.
Try to move on...and hopefullly your next relationship will give you... (read in full...)
Do I take this job or not?
Q. I'd like some advice. I'm wondering if i should go for this interview for receptionist job at a backpacker hostel in London, and take the job if they offer it to me? I'll write the pros and the cons down here, and that might help. Pros - I am i...
A. 12 June 2010: OP, I saw your update right now. Sorry to hear you are not going. I don't want to put you against your family but I invite you to reconsider,you are really too old to make choices in your life based on whether granpa and granma willl be happy ! You ... (read in full...)
I just found out my boyfriend lost his virginity to another girl during our break up
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up. He got with another girl and he lost his virginity with her. But then we got back together four months ago and I just found out he had sex with her. It hurt me really bad and I dont know how to feel about it. So do ...
A. 12 June 2010: You were broken up. He was single at the time, and free to use his body and his time doing whatever he liked.
I am not saying that you cannot feel jealous ,or disappointed, or sad about what he did. Just that you cannot bitch about it. ... (read in full...)
He's using dating sites 'for fun' and claims I'm insecure..is he looking to replace me?
Q. I have been dating a man for five years. He asked me to move two hours away and come live with him after one year. I have two children that were in high school at the time who I left with my ex to finish school.(I also had a stalker problem that ...
A. 12 June 2010: Bullshit. If he needs something to do "for fun ", to communicate with new people and such... tell him to join Dear Cupid and become an Agony Uncle.
Something it's "fun " only if somehow it interests you- Otherwise ,you would not find it fun.... (read in full...)
I'm scared to have sex, what should I do?
Q. my boyfriend wants to have sex with me but im still a virgin and scared. wht should I do?...
A. 12 June 2010: If you don't feel ready ( and at your age there's no way you can possibly be ready ) don't do it. Just say no. Don't let anybody, now or in future, talk you into or pressure you inhto doing something that you are scared of !
That would be so simp... (read in full...)
I think I'm pregnant...
Q. well i think im pregnant as the last time i got my period was 4weeks ago, i have been feeling very emotional and tiered. i have just left school and i really dont no what to do please help me ...
A. 12 June 2010: Go buy a pregnancy test and first of all find out if you ARE actually pregnant. Only then,you can start evaluating your options.... (read in full...)
Bar help! He says , she says..
Q. Me and my boyfriend both like to drink/the bar scene, but when we go together we fight. He says I carve attention from other guys and I say he ignores me and doesnt include me. Its causing us to fight! What do we do?...
A. 12 June 2010: What about stopping drinking ? Since anyway you are too young to drink, and since apparently makes you both irritable and confrontational ?... (read in full...)
We had a year split but he wanted to try again, I put my heart on the line and now he's hesitating!!
Q. My ex and I broke up a year ago. He was just not ready to commit and I found it too difficult so it ended and it broke my heart. Yet a year later (even after we had kept in touch via email/text now and again) my ex suddenly got back in contact and ...
A. 12 June 2010: He was a returning ex...and he returned to doing exactly the same things he was doing before. People never really change- unless they decide it on their own and they do it for their own sake. Because what they are doing does not work for them ... (read in full...)
Do I take this job or not?
Q. I'd like some advice. I'm wondering if i should go for this interview for receptionist job at a backpacker hostel in London, and take the job if they offer it to me? I'll write the pros and the cons down here, and that might help. Pros - I am i...
A. 6 June 2010: Hello Op.Glad to see you that we have "charged " you a bit,I think now wild horses could not drag you away should you get the job,lol.
Hey, why don't you and the Aussie girl take a studio or a small flat together ? More expensive than hostel, sure... (read in full...)
How does a large penis feel? Can a smaller guy satisfy a woman?
Q. I have a question for you women out there who have had a large penis (like 9"). What do you feel when it is all the way in? Is the sensation of being "filled completely" so overwhelmingly erotic to you that you long for it, or is it no big deal? ...
A. 6 June 2010: I confirm . The nerve endings are just in the first third of the vagina . A very long penis will hit the cervix and most women find that ,if not downright painful, annoying. ... (read in full...)
He is unemployed and steals my money. Do I stay?
Q. should i still stay with him hi all heres the thing I've given my bf chances, well I think too many chances but i have given him chances to prove to me that he wants to be with me . see hes not working and hasnt been for the 2 and half years...
A. 6 June 2010: Damn. I try so hard not to be judgemental. I try so hard not to be sarcastic or snippy. After all we Aunts are here to help you posters,not to reproach you or to make fun of you.
But let me say that people like you makes it very hard to mant... (read in full...)
I hate my close friends
Q. If your friends constantly unintentianally belittle you, and make your hopeful heart often sink to tears when they're not there, then they are not really your friends. If after not seeing them for a while makes you scared to see or speak to them ...
A. 6 June 2010: I have the feeling that the comment you posted is sarcastic, so I don't think you'll see my post as helpful enough, but nonetheless I want to try to give one general but true and tested pieces of advice :
the sooner you learn you can't ever real... (read in full...)
Why do guys always cheat on me?
Q. Im 18 and i have a baby girl....guys tell my im sexy all the time im always faithful in my relationships but its like no matter what i always get cheated on why is that?...
A. 6 June 2010: Perhaps you jump the gun. Maybe you get involved both sexually and emotionally with men before knowing them well and knowing what do they feel about you and what kind of relationship they want to have with you.
I say that because you mention that... (read in full...)
Do some women have their menstruation while pregnant?!
Q. Hi all! :) I would just like to know.. According to teachings about the menstrual cycle.. It was clearly stated why women can not have their periods while they are pregnant and now on the internet when its asked.. People say its possible to have you...
A. 6 June 2010: -They are not real menstrual cycles, it's vaginal bleeding,but it lasts less than menstruations,it's less abundant and it's brownish rather than red.
- Vomiting and nausea are very common ,particularly during the first 3 months. It seems they are ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm not good enough
Q. Okay, well... I have some problems. Me and this guy really, really like each other. He thinks I'm amazing... He loves my body he thinks I'm absolutely beautiful... But truthfully, I have soo many flaws covered up by clothes. I feel like I can't ge...
A. 6 June 2010: More than a beauty problem it sounds like it's a health issue, you should go see an endocrinologist. From your description it sounds you could have hirsutism ( hair growth in areas where normally the female body has little or none ). Often it comes ... (read in full...)
Ladies, please tell me what she's thinking, is there a chance for us?
Q. Ladies only please. And no negetive remarks. There's this girl. We were in a good relationship. We laughed, had fun together and had some good times. Like a month and a half back she broke up with me because she said that she wasn't ready for a ...
A. 6 June 2010: If she feels the way she says...she says she is 90percent over you. Not a very encouraging perspective even really wanting to be optimistic.... (read in full...)
Why do most men like big boobs so much?
Q. Why do most men (especially guys my age...) like big boobs so much? As I see it, it's just extra fat! And last time I checked, for men, too much fat is bad. I have small breasts and feel so inadequate. Breasts are so "out there" (unlike a penis ...
A. 6 June 2010: In part it's for biological,evolutionary reasons, in part it's cultural. Actually :
Not all cultures love large breasts. It's mostly an American thing. In Brazil men like large, firm butts -and small breasts. In many areas of Europe, the pref... (read in full...)
Do I take this job or not?
Q. I'd like some advice. I'm wondering if i should go for this interview for receptionist job at a backpacker hostel in London, and take the job if they offer it to me? I'll write the pros and the cons down here, and that might help. Pros - I am i...
A. 5 June 2010: Oh darling- you have to go. Not only because London is the most exciting place in the world ( after New York,maybe) and I bet you'll have a fantastic time there.
But because just reading your list of cons, and the kind of things you are gett... (read in full...)
Why is she hosting a party if shes asking us to bring all the food?
Q. Morning all! I don't have a love question but I'm just intrigued to get your opinions on my question. A colleague of mine emailed us all on thursday inviting us to a barbeque at her dads house today. In the email she asked if we can bring ...
A. 5 June 2010: I'm with Cerberus and TalkingHelps.
Sure,if we ask Martha Stewart she would say the host for a potluck is supposed to provide the main course and the guests only to bring side dishes and desserts, but, do we really need to stand on cere... (read in full...)
Do girls even like masturbating?
Q. Hey, im going into my freshman year, and my friends and i are such pervs ( but im ok with it ), i swear every day at school all we talk about is masturbating. But when i asked my girlfriend about it she said she doesnt because she doesnt like to. ...
A. 5 June 2010: A bit of both.
Recent studies say that masturbation is practised by about 80 percent of females(against 97 percent of males )
It is also true though that girls in average start masturbating later (15-16 years against 12-13 for boys ).
And it se... (read in full...)
Is she at all interested in me???
Q. i was talkin 2 a girl that i have known for a long time. i took her 2 the prom and we went on a couple of dates, she didnt think we were meant 2 b so she said she didnt know where this was goin. so a coupe yrs later now present day she wanted 2 ...
A. 5 June 2010: She is not. After your second date she blew you off 3 times- it's time to take the hint and move on.... (read in full...)
"Over you" songs?
Q. hi! I went through a rough break up, my ex traded me for another woman..and of course I was heart broken and all. A friend who has a major in psychology told me I should listen to music to help me heal. Music normally reflects our feelings and put...
A. 4 June 2010: These boots are made for walking- Nancy Sinatra
50 ways to leave your lover-Paul Simon
Survivor- Destiny's Child
Since U been gone- Kelly Clarkson
I'not falling apart- Maroon 5
Also, 3 classics where is the man getting over the girl bu... (read in full...)
How high of a risk is pulling out?
Q. How high of a risk is it having sex with out a condom but not cuming in her and I wipped it off be for I put it in her ...
A. 4 June 2010: Yes there are stati8stics. The failure rate of the pull-out method is around 20 - 27 percent ( according different researchers ). Pretty high.... (read in full...)
How can I make my parents see that even though I'm pregnant I still deserve the wedding of my dreams?
Q. Hello, DearCupid, and thanks for reading. Well, I am 22 years old and my boyfriend and I recently discovered that we are having a baby. We are excited about this idea and plan to stay together and raise our baby together and frankly the ...
A. 4 June 2010: Laura 1318, I think your view about this situation is accurate. Still..
Of course we cannot dictate how the OP should feel and react in any given situation of her life. If she wants to feel belittled and insulted by her parents having a diff... (read in full...)
We were both tipsy and we ended up having sex!
Q. Hi! I'm in love with this beautiful lady and she loves me too but she is scared I might hurt her. I've been pursuing her for the past 4 months but she has been playing hard to get. She invited me to a concert on the weekend with her friends...
A. 4 June 2010: I totally agree with Caring Guy.
How the boyfriend fits in ? In more ways that you would imagine. He may be temporarily out of town. It may be a long distance relationship. He may be a married guy and they have to keep it under wraps. He may be a... (read in full...)
How can I make my parents see that even though I'm pregnant I still deserve the wedding of my dreams?
Q. Hello, DearCupid, and thanks for reading. Well, I am 22 years old and my boyfriend and I recently discovered that we are having a baby. We are excited about this idea and plan to stay together and raise our baby together and frankly the ...
A. 3 June 2010: So if you are the one who pays for the wedding,... where's the problem please? Do as you like, end of the story.
Make your own choices and do not expect or demand or insist that your choices should please anybody else than yourself.
... (read in full...)
Why won't she tell me her real number of sexual partners if she loves me?
Q. I am involved in my first relationship since divorcing my wife of 20 years. I have been in it for 9 months, and it has been wonderful. However, there was an instance a month into our relationship where I caught her in a bit of a lie and it made me ...
A. 3 June 2010: It is asking way too much. Your insistence is intrusive and morbid. And also useless. You have trust issues so you would not believe her anyway. If she says 12, you'd start suspecting that it's in fact 15. If she says 15, you'll think is 17..... (read in full...)
Should I say goodbye to my long distance lover?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. So far it has been a little strange as we both live in different countries in europe. Me in London and he in Holland. But we have managed to keep it going. When we are together things are absolutely ...
A. 3 June 2010: Well,frankly,from what you tell us, no,there is no point.
Hopefully you had other reasons beyond him to move to his country ?...... (read in full...)
Is this relationship I have with a 31 year old man wrong?
Q. I'm 16 and I've really only been attracted to older men (mostly teachers and other figures of relative authority, etc. I don't appreciate guys my age cause they're all terribly immature) and I love a guy who's 31 - that's 15 years older than me. I ...
A. 3 June 2010: Yes Tobrie, I get the feeling you'll get to do and learn a lot of adult stuff while you are visiting a 31 y.o. man who used to compliment your scant clothing.
... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 3 June 2010: Good,Alexia. You have done the first and most difficult step,which you stopped initiating contact. Now you have to do the second,which is ognoring him if he gets in touch- that will be easier than the first, you'll see. ... (read in full...)
Pressured to make the decision
Q. Ok I'm going to try and and simplify this story as much as possible however, it is going to be quite a long read. I'm 21 years old at the moment and I have had only one girlfriend my entire life. We were in a relationship for 6.5 years. Amazingly...
A. 3 June 2010: Forgive me,my friend,but right now you are not showing a lot of ethics and wisdom and intellect.
You basically would like to have your cake and eat it too!
What would you like, to keep your girlfriend patiently waiting while you go out and try ... (read in full...)
My family doesn't love me
Q. My family doesn't love me. My parents don't care if I sink or swim. They love my younger sister more and don't tell that it isn't true. I know because I've lived with this for years. I have some determination but when I see that they careless what ...
A. 3 June 2010: Ok,let's skip the part in which I say that this may be your personal perception of reality rather than actual reality, that most probably your parents do love you just they don't show it in the way you want to be shown love and that even if they ... (read in full...)
One night stand question
Q. Hi. I drunkenly got with this guy and had sex with him about a month ago say? not sure of the timescale. We already made out once before, and both made it clear we wanted each other. When we bumped into each other again we ended up going back to ...
A. 3 June 2010: Poster,you are young but you are no babe in the woods, you had casual experiences before,you know the drill by now, don't you ?
Does he like you ? Enough to hook up with you when is drunk- or at 5 a.m. when he could not find better hook ups duri... (read in full...)
I love him but he left me because of a compatibility test!
Q. Hi I need help. I am so confused. I have been dating this man for 10 mths. We met on match.com. We have had a great time together. Now he is questioning out compatability long term. He says I'm a wonderful person, good looking, kind, caring, I ...
A. 3 June 2010: That must be the lamest excuse I have ever heard for ditching a woman :" I leave you because eharmony says we are not compatible ".
He can't be serious, can he ?....
But if he is- just breathe a sigh of relief and thank your lucky star. The guy ... (read in full...)
Is this all our relationship is going to be?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with someone who lives in a different country to me. We met online, and haven’t yet met each other. We have been talking for about a year now, and we get on well. We have feelings for each other, and have made it ...
A. 3 June 2010: I am not being judgemental here,just perplexed..
I really have a hard time understanding exactly what people mean when they say they have an on -line " relationship " with someone they have never met.
I have exchanged Private Messages with som... (read in full...)
How can I make my parents see that even though I'm pregnant I still deserve the wedding of my dreams?
Q. Hello, DearCupid, and thanks for reading. Well, I am 22 years old and my boyfriend and I recently discovered that we are having a baby. We are excited about this idea and plan to stay together and raise our baby together and frankly the ...
A. 3 June 2010: I guess it all depends on who's gonna pay. If it's you and your bf,- go ahead and organize the wedding you want, it's your wedding day after all. If you expect your parents to pay- well, it is understandable that they are reluctant to she... (read in full...)
Possibly pregnant to my cheating ex!
Q. Please help... After two weeks after having taken my virginity, he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend (he had broken up with her 4 years ago) whom he had cheated on when he was drunk with a one-night-stand. I haven't spoken to him for two week...
A. 2 June 2010: I am afraid you have not accomplished much by telling him the news, I don't think you'll get any practical help or moral support by such a coward. Anyway,now you feel relieved and this is good.
Don't focus on punish him or giving him a hard time... (read in full...)
Can I keep what happened with my brother in law from my husband?
Q. I am in a situation that I would have never in a million years believed that I could be in. I have never been unfaithful to anyone - ever. I think that trust and honesty are two of the most important things in a successful relationship and...
A. 2 June 2010: El Segundo ? I have been there, there 's a cool Mexican restaurant that's famous for chimichangas.
At least, I think they were chimichangas........ (read in full...)
People need to try harder! Or am I just being harsh?
Q. I'm a single 20 year old man, about to head to university in september and I'm having trouble. I have trouble maintaing relationships with people...I mean I have friends, I'm well liked and very sociable, but I can be very negative. People...
A. 2 June 2010: " Be the change you want to see in the world " (Mahatma Gandhi ) YOU try as hard as you want and do not accept to scrape by. Be the best you can be- and let other people be the best THEY can be-which is not necessarily what you would see as your ... (read in full...)
Do I have to marry my Turkish boyfriend in order to live in Turkey?
Q. Hi I was just wanting some advise. I want to move to Turkey to be with my boyfriend and before you all get on your high horse im 28 live in thr uk and have been dating him for 4 yrs. and hes 27. So my Question is do you now if i can get a work p...
A. 2 June 2010: No you don't have to be married.
You must have though a letter of hiring from your perspective Turkish employer which must be sent for approval to the Turkish Consulate in your country. Once you get that, you submit it with your application, with... (read in full...)
Possibly pregnant to my cheating ex!
Q. Please help... After two weeks after having taken my virginity, he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend (he had broken up with her 4 years ago) whom he had cheated on when he was drunk with a one-night-stand. I haven't spoken to him for two week...
A. 2 June 2010: Miscellanoeos G, first of all- make a big,brave effort and try not to panic. What you are going through is bad- but it's not THAT bad- " Easy for you to say " you can tell me " it's not you having to go through all that " Yes I know, but my point ... (read in full...)
He's choosing weed over me and I don't know what to do.
Q. hi erm.. well rite now im sat alone in my bed room because my boyfriend has chosen his friends and weed over me! i suppose it is my fault 4 actually not saying anything to him wen he smoked it in front of me bt not when hes leaving me on my own all ...
A. 2 June 2010: If he is over,say, 19 ...dump him immediately !
Aww come on... a stoner boyfriend ? So uncool.
I don't know how old are you and if you are American, anyway I advise you watching ,or watching again,a cult movie called Fast Times at Ridgemon... (read in full...)
Possibly pregnant to my cheating ex!
Q. Please help... After two weeks after having taken my virginity, he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend (he had broken up with her 4 years ago) whom he had cheated on when he was drunk with a one-night-stand. I haven't spoken to him for two week...
A. 2 June 2010: Yes,unluckily if you had sex on the 12th day of a 29-30 days cycle, that means that you ovulate on day 14th or 15th so there is the possibility you are pregnant. Take immediately a pregancy test and if it comes out negative repeat it after a few ... (read in full...)
Can I keep what happened with my brother in law from my husband?
Q. I am in a situation that I would have never in a million years believed that I could be in. I have never been unfaithful to anyone - ever. I think that trust and honesty are two of the most important things in a successful relationship and...
A. 1 June 2010: This poor lady. Just think. Once she drinks a little too much- and she ends up marrying someone she had never remotely intended to marry .Another time,she drinks a little too much -and she ends up going to bed with her husband's brother.
I am so g... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 31 May 2010: Alexia,Alexia...you know what to do, just maybe you don't want to do it :)
You said you don't want to be just friends with him, so what would it be the point of having coffee with him once a month, which btw it's not even a friendship, more like... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 27 May 2010: It probably wasn't as quick as you think.
You said that for all the last year he was going out more and more, and giving you less and less time. He did not change overnight,things sort of fizzled.... (read in full...)
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