Like what
she writes?
... Add *indyCares to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
|
| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
|
She says she's against abortion, but has already had one in the past!
Q. Hi. I have a question with which I desperately need some help. I love my wife very much, but I have found out some information recently that troubles me. I found out, totally by accident, that my wife had an abortion before we met. The thing that ...
A. 23 July 2010: The sooner you can "man up " the better, because it seems this issue is really eating at you and if you leave it there hanging it is gonna eventually build a wall between you and your wife.
Don't approach her like a judge or an inquisitor- just... (read in full...)
What is a good quote for a tattoo - to show I have overcome depression?
Q. I suffered from severe depression in the past and want to get a tattoo to show that I have overcome it. I want to get a quote. does anyone have any suggestions...
A. 29 June 2010: I know you said a quote but, what about a symbol : a phoenix rising from its ashes...... (read in full...)
What does the pain of first time sex compare to so I know what to expect?
Q. hey everyone, im 17 and my boyfriend wants to have sex, it would be my first time, i ready the only thing i worry about it the pain... what does the pain compare to so i know what to espect?...
A. 29 June 2010: I am a bit concerned because you say textually " my boyfriend wants to have sex ". And what about you ? Do you want it too, do you want it real bad- or are you just going along with the plan to make him happy ?
In this last case, it will prob... (read in full...)
How can I love my small breasts?
Q. I've only had one boyfriend and he told me he liked big breasts better, that most guys do because of fertility and I don't what crap. I can't get over this, not even after having broken up (other reasons). I notice how most men drool over large ...
A. 29 June 2010: I don't think that all men prefer bigger breasts and most of all I don't think that all men judge women's attractiveness and sex appeal just by the size of their breasts.
I wish it were so ! It that was true ,as the owner of a very visible and-... (read in full...)
Should we sow our seeds first, then get back together?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over six years now. We love each other very much and work so well together. We have lived together for five years and have only ever had small fights that we worked through. I want to grow old together and have his ...
A. 29 June 2010: Pardon me but yours is a rather immature way to look at things.
Life is all about choices, and most choices involve sacrifices and/ or giving up instant gratification in view of something better.
If I give up junk food to have a slimmer body, I'... (read in full...)
Violent end to an argument this morning, what do I do?
Q. i have to ask this question, even though i know what people will reply. really early this morning my partner of 7 years and i had an argument, i was getting ready for work, and we argued, which basically led to him hitting me on the head with a m...
A. 29 June 2010: You love him,ok,but...don't you care about remaining alive ?
Haven't you got anybody ( a mother,a sibling, a friend ) who would cry if you are dead ?
He took the first thing he got at hand,on impulse. Lucky for you,it was a metal pan. But it could... (read in full...)
My boyfriend toys with my emotions
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. well next week it will be two years. Well it's summer and most of his friends have come back home for summer from college. Well last year during summer I realized that we were always together...
A. 29 June 2010: The only thing that I can suggest you is -leaving him .
Many relationship issues can be fixed, but only if there is respect and he totally shows no respect for you.
He orders you around as if you were his maid ( couldn't he get himself his food... (read in full...)
She says she's against abortion, but has already had one in the past!
Q. Hi. I have a question with which I desperately need some help. I love my wife very much, but I have found out some information recently that troubles me. I found out, totally by accident, that my wife had an abortion before we met. The thing that ...
A. 29 June 2010: Thank you for your further comments and informations.
You know ?, I'd say let's give your wife the benefit of doubt. It's possible you took her comments more literally than you need ,due to this being a very sensitive issue for you. Many peop... (read in full...)
What do girls really look for in a man. (honest views only)
Q. Can I ask a question to the girls in this site and be completly honest. "What do you really lok for in a guy" I always see answers like good listener caring faithfull not cocky class good career prospects But never does "good looks" ev...
A. 28 June 2010: I don't mean to pick on you,OP, - I am just taking this occasion to submit my theory,please feel free to confirm it or disprove it.
You are absolutely not the first guy that I heard complaining they are discriminated because of their looks. You,... (read in full...)
Should I Text Him Happy Birthday After All of This??
Q. My ex and i were together for a couple of years. It was petty things that broke us up but nonetheless still important mistakes to be learned from. And I did learn from my mistakes with the time apart. I know what i would never do again. My ex and I ...
A. 28 June 2010: Ask yourself, what are you hoping to accomplish by sending him this text.
The best it can happen right now is that he texts you back : thank you,, that's was very nice of you .
And ?....
How would this change your predicament ? He still would ... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm a bitch. Should I break up with him?
Q. ok my thinks im a bitch kuz at his party he said i was being a bitch and i really dont know where that came from but thats not the point the point is that he thinks im a bitch and now he feels that im pushing his away and he keeps saying that he ...
A. 28 June 2010: Ditch him . He might not have meant it and just have said something stupid, but he said it anyway. You don't call your gf a bitch, you don't call any woman a bitch. A bitch is a female dog , so he should keep this word for when he is talking about ... (read in full...)
Did he mean it when he told people he loved me?
Q. I went out with my boyfriend and a few friends last night. The conversation was pretty light and ended up with one of the guys asking me 'so hang on, if your boyfriend got more muscly and ripped, you'd find him LESS attractive??' which I replied to ...
A. 28 June 2010: Not knowing your boyfriend, it's really hard to say if that was just a witty repartee or if he really meant it.
My suggestion would be to pay attention to his actions, not to his words. Some people are just very casual with words and say things with... (read in full...)
She's getting stressed out waiting for me to say "I love you"
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and I feel im finding her much less physically attractive then when i first met her. She has the best personality, careing, funny, passionate and smart, and we get on well. Yet i feel hollow inside when ...
A. 28 June 2010: Why are you still dating a girl whom you find unattractive or only marginally attractive ?... (read in full...)
Should I wait or save myself
Q. I am a 24 year old guy. I have never had a serious relationship in my life. I have a feeling 98 percent of guy my age have already had sex. I never have. I have tried to wait for something serious but I honestly have never been treated right by ...
A. 28 June 2010: As long as the girl knows and agrees that it's just no strings attached casual fun. If she wants the same, go ahead.... (read in full...)
Does cheating count when your a kid still?
Q. So, I'm 16 and I've had a boyfriend for quite a while now. Things are good we care about each other and everything but here's the thing, I recently got a job about 3 months ago and since then I've made good friends with a boy who works there. We ...
A. 28 June 2010: I guess it all depends from what the one particular person feels about it. Does he support your position that you are entitled to have fun, or do you have to sneak behind is back ? And is he allowed to have is fun too and experiment with various ... (read in full...)
Where are all of the men?
Q. I am 34 years old, and despairing of ever finding my Mr Right. I thought I had found him, but just before Christmas we split up. It really sucks being single in your thirties. Everyone of my local friends has settled down now, meaning tha...
A. 27 June 2010: Sure,ChiGirl, only the trick perhaps is taking a trip but with no other expectations than relaxing and seeing new places. Cupid is a mean shifty little bastard, if he knows you are waiting for him, he won't show up. Plus, it will probably rain all ... (read in full...)
Where are all of the men?
Q. I am 34 years old, and despairing of ever finding my Mr Right. I thought I had found him, but just before Christmas we split up. It really sucks being single in your thirties. Everyone of my local friends has settled down now, meaning tha...
A. 27 June 2010: My words of wisdom would be very similar to what Caring Guy said and I will reinforce them with the story of what happened to my sister. My sister, when she was about 33, broke up with her long time boyfriend, and found out, much to her surprise... (read in full...)
I've done so much for him, why is he suddenly being so rude?
Q. i really like this guy i work with. ill admit i like him more than friends but ive done a hell of a lot for him since he started-supported him through his probation at work, brought him stuff to cheer him up and been a rock to him through his spilt ...
A. 27 June 2010: I think you have posted already a few times about this same guy ( you also lent him money,didn't you ? ) and I am really sorry to see you stuck on this non-issue. I call it a non-issue not out of disrespect but for two other reasons- one, his ... (read in full...)
How can I get to enjoy time spent on my own?
Q. My boyfriend and I spend a lot of time together, so, like most people, after a few days he needs some time to himself. I totally respect this and when he needs it I let him have it. However I will never understand why people like to spend time on ...
A. 27 June 2010: Mine were just random examples, not knowing your personal tastes. The point is : pick up something that you don't normally do with a bunch of people ,and make it your own, giving it special time and special attention.
The " I wish I could be d... (read in full...)
How can I get to enjoy time spent on my own?
Q. My boyfriend and I spend a lot of time together, so, like most people, after a few days he needs some time to himself. I totally respect this and when he needs it I let him have it. However I will never understand why people like to spend time on ...
A. 27 June 2010: I am one of those people who love being by themselves , and it is a personality trait but also a learnable skill, and a very useful one. If you make your happiness, entertainment and gratification always depend from other people, you are in a very ... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend gone off me?
Q. ive only been with my boyfriend for two months,so we dont love each other yet, when we first were together he always wanted to see me, he text me quite alot and said really nice things to me, then out of no where he never texts or calls, i havent ...
A. 27 June 2010: I'd be for the stringing you along because I've never met someone who is actually so busy he can't spare a couple of hours in over 3 weeks to see his girlfriend. And if they really are, that means that they are selfish,because they want to keep a ... (read in full...)
How does nipple color determine how she is in her sexual life?
Q. hiiii all once aging i want to know sm thing ... may be its can be funny question...but i want ans... different-different women have different-different color of nipple of Brest… So my question is if sm women has light Pink color o...
A. 27 June 2010: i am disappointed :) I would have loved to know what my colour meant.... (read in full...)
Does cheating count when your a kid still?
Q. So, I'm 16 and I've had a boyfriend for quite a while now. Things are good we care about each other and everything but here's the thing, I recently got a job about 3 months ago and since then I've made good friends with a boy who works there. We ...
A. 27 June 2010: Baddogbj,of course it would be worse if she were married or engaged , but this does not mean that,since she is not, she is doing a good thing now,
16 is not too early to respect people, and she is disrespecting her boyfriend.
Preciselt because ... (read in full...)
Do I really dress like a slut?
Q. People think I'm a how because of the way I dress. I am a beautiful blonde with great legs and nice natural breasts. I like to show it off through what I wear. Guys are always getting pissed off at me for "leading them on." tgey know im un a ...
A. 27 June 2010: I think it may be more a problem of attitude and non-verbal language than of slutty dressing, most young women wear skimpy clothing nowadays.
I have a friend who has exactly your same problem, she always get accused of leading men on- and she does... (read in full...)
I've never followed 'the rules' of 'womanly' behaviour is this wrong?
Q. The rules book stated that a girl should be reserved, not too chatty, not trying at all to entertain actually but thats a personality trait of mine, i LOVE TO ENTERTAIN, i make ppl laugh, im extremely bubbly and sometimes too hyper. I enjoy being ...
A. 27 June 2010: Since you are going abroad in two months, I guess you can forget about the rules, what difference does it make anyway whether you play it right or wrong ?, you'll soon be gone anyway.
More in general though, I see what your problem could be.I... (read in full...)
Too shy to have sex because I'm worried about the size of my penis...
Q. Hi. I'm 16yo. My penis is something like 5.7 - 6in long when erect. I'm still virgin.. I had maybe 7 chances to have a sex with girls but I didn't do it because I'm too shy and I don't want to get embarrassed when they see my small penis. I know ...
A. 27 June 2010: You've got the right penis and the wrong girl.
She has a boyfriend,she is willing to cheat aand she is a liar ( Statistically vey improbable, close to impossible that her bf has a 10 inches penis ). And if that were true, she has totally no clas... (read in full...)
Guys: What to you find physically attractive in a girl?
Q. I need male input, what makes porn women so ideal and attractive, and what can I do to achieve that? I want men to think I'm as attractive as I can be, and they seem to love porn, so I only added 1+1... Of course I want a guy to love me for my p...
A. 27 June 2010: OP,and anonymous reader, maybe you are handling the situation from the wrong end.
Why, rather than tryng to make yourself look like porn stars ( which I suppose can be done with a tremendous amount of money effort and time ) don't you choose guys... (read in full...)
Turban wearing man seeks honest opinions
Q. So I moved into the states when I was 10 and now that I am getting older (in my 20s) I am finding that finding love is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. My question is for all women. I am a turban wearing man with a trimmed beard. I...
A. 26 June 2010: The only turban wearing guys I have seen were Sikh so I assume ,maybe wrongly , that you are one.
Personally, I found you guys rather hot - genetically speaking, you have been dealt a very good hand of cards :)
I think the turban is a problem ... (read in full...)
She won't accept that her weight is the reason men are not interested in her.
Q. My girfriend and I have a very close friend. She is a wonderful girl. It's always the same scene with her. She meets a guy, they are really into each other for a few days / weeks, then the guy realizes how heavy she is and distances himself. (I'm ...
A. 26 June 2010: OP, I don't think anybody is championing obesity here. If your friend is 70 pound overweight, then she should shed some just for health reason,regardless of the boyfriend issue. And if you want us to admit that many men ( but by no means all of ... (read in full...)
She won't accept that her weight is the reason men are not interested in her.
Q. My girfriend and I have a very close friend. She is a wonderful girl. It's always the same scene with her. She meets a guy, they are really into each other for a few days / weeks, then the guy realizes how heavy she is and distances himself. (I'm ...
A. 26 June 2010: It can't be for the reason you say. Otherwise she would not even GET dates. Men are very visual creatures, and many of them a tad shallow too, and they would not ask her out just for the pleasure of her brilliant conversation. If they show her some ... (read in full...)
Had a miscarriage at 14 now I long to be pregnant again...
Q. i had a miscarriage at 9 weeks and im 14 years old. i was really scared about the pregnancy but came round to the idea and accepted it. and now i have strong sense of longing to pregnant people and young babies and want to get pregnant again. i dont ...
A. 26 June 2010: I don't understand your post.
You don't want people to tell you that getting pregnant at 14 is a very bad idea. So be it. You have decided that getting pregnant again is a good idea and we cannot stop you.
But you say you want advice about wh... (read in full...)
I've never followed 'the rules' of 'womanly' behaviour is this wrong?
Q. The rules book stated that a girl should be reserved, not too chatty, not trying at all to entertain actually but thats a personality trait of mine, i LOVE TO ENTERTAIN, i make ppl laugh, im extremely bubbly and sometimes too hyper. I enjoy being ...
A. 26 June 2010: I never read "the rules " and I have always made my own rules- and ,all in all, it has worked well for me.
In all honesty though, I must admit that I would never be attracted to a man who proclaims he is sweating like a pig
or jokes about bo... (read in full...)
Boyfriend called me mentally ill because I'm insecure about my body
Q. I hate my body, I don't know why, I just never feel adequate or beautiful, hot, sexy, whatever. I mean, a lot of it has to do with my face and hair, too. The two things that I can really do NOTHING about! But other than that I hate my small br...
A. 25 June 2010: "To me, my ex was hotter than George Clooney "- but don't you see, OP ? That's exactly the point. I doubt that he was actually hotter than George Clooney - but he was TO YOU. Why ? Because you saw him through the eyes of your heart. When you'll ... (read in full...)
Should I trust the boy who's been hiding his very dark history from me?
Q. Hello, I hooked up with a boy two years younger than me...(I am fifteen.) He was really sweet and passionate, but I just found out about his more-than-unusual past. My mum approached me about it, and let me know that he'd spent quite a bit of time ...
A. 25 June 2010: It still does not add up. If he is American- even worse. USA take very seriously juvenile crime.
44 out 50 States embrace ,at least in theory , the "Adult Time for Adult Crime " principle. It means that for crimes like murder or violent acts deri... (read in full...)
Am I in a dangerous relationship or am I over-reacting?
Q. Im starting to worry about my boyfriends behavior and it he has the potential to become abusive in the future with our relationship. we have been dating for about 3 months. he is almost twenty and im sixteen. he always wants to be with me. we hang ...
A. 25 June 2010: Oh for cryng out loud. He needs help, ...so you are the one supposed to help him ??? At 17 ? After dating him for 3 months ?? Why ? Who are you, his mother ? His wife ? The Red Cross ? A shrink ?
What makes you think that you can help him rath... (read in full...)
Boyfriend called me mentally ill because I'm insecure about my body
Q. I hate my body, I don't know why, I just never feel adequate or beautiful, hot, sexy, whatever. I mean, a lot of it has to do with my face and hair, too. The two things that I can really do NOTHING about! But other than that I hate my small br...
A. 25 June 2010: Your post touches a lot of deep stuff- self esteem, body image, being single as a choice, etc.etc. and if I should tell you mi ideas about that I should write a book, not a post. Knowing my inclination to rant and rave, I am sure that there will be ... (read in full...)
Should I trust the boy who's been hiding his very dark history from me?
Q. Hello, I hooked up with a boy two years younger than me...(I am fifteen.) He was really sweet and passionate, but I just found out about his more-than-unusual past. My mum approached me about it, and let me know that he'd spent quite a bit of time ...
A. 24 June 2010: You would not be making all this up, by any chance, ?...
What makes me skeptic is not the age of your friend, because sadly juvenile killers are on the rise and they get younger, and more violent, every year.
But it happens that, if he had kill... (read in full...)
What happens in Las Vegas... Really... What's happening in Las Vegas?
Q. We have only been living together for 3 months, and I even moved across country to be with him, as we were long distance for a year and a half. So, one morning before he left (for a boy's weekend in Las Vegas), I walked the bedroom and heard him at ...
A. 24 June 2010: And why couldn't his friends get their own condoms
either at home or in Vegas ? Condoms are not so expensive that a guy in his 30's need to bum them from a friend !
He just thought you were not gonna find out the condoms were missing,... (read in full...)
Why do some people play mind games and act immature with others?
Q. Why do some people play mind games and act immature with others? I recently had a "fling" with a guy who was married and had a baby on the way. From the beginning, this guy almost knew exactly how to my feelings and emotions. He gave me attention ...
A. 24 June 2010: That's a strange question coming from you.
You obviously think it's fun having a fling behind your spouse's back just to get attention and your ego stroked.
He likes exactly the same. So we have at least two fun-loving individuals here.
... (read in full...)
Should I give up on him and find someone my own age?
Q. I'm 23 and the man I'm in a relationship with is 52 and divorced he and his ex-wife share custody of their 14 year old daughter. I really feel a connection with him but all my friends judge me for our age difference. All I ever hear is you have ...
A. 24 June 2010: .. Never say never, but if you are thinking "forever " yours is a very unwise choice. Just to mention ONE problem : at 43 you'll be at the peak of your sexuality, a magnificent ,incandescent crucible of raging hormones :)- he'll be 72, enough ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend might be gay! What signs should I look for?
Q. i am a bit worried about my boyfriend, as i think he is gay, been together 2 years and he tells me everyday that he loves me, he always wants sex with me most the time and he mainly makes the first moves, he kisses me alot and holds me all night, ...
A. 24 June 2010: What a strange reasoning...If a man is a clean freak and very organized , then he must be gay ??? Why ? Do you see neatness and tidyness as typically feminine qualities...? You haven't met me,lol.
Your post made me smile. When my son was about 11 o... (read in full...)
Is he being fair?
Q. Hi there, I have a problem with my bf whom I met online last year. I'm 31 and he is 43. When we met he knew I had 2 kids, 1 who is 14 and the 18mths baby. The problem I have with my bf is he does not want my daughters father to be anywhere near his ...
A. 24 June 2010: Your current bf is not only selfish, he is delusional- and to be honest I am having trouble understanding why are you even giving any consideration to his demands. No man in this world is worth giving up your child for, and particularly for such a ... (read in full...)
She says she's against abortion, but has already had one in the past!
Q. Hi. I have a question with which I desperately need some help. I love my wife very much, but I have found out some information recently that troubles me. I found out, totally by accident, that my wife had an abortion before we met. The thing that ...
A. 24 June 2010: Dear OP, you e3plained yourself very well and you raised many valid points in illustrating your position. Obviously you are entitled to your opinions anyway, and then again DC would not be the best venue for a debate about abortio9n.
All I am tryn... (read in full...)
She says she's against abortion, but has already had one in the past!
Q. Hi. I have a question with which I desperately need some help. I love my wife very much, but I have found out some information recently that troubles me. I found out, totally by accident, that my wife had an abortion before we met. The thing that ...
A. 22 June 2010: C.Grant stole my words. I was gonna say that is very easy to be pro or against something in theory,on moral or conceptual grounds. But you reallly don't know the impact that is gonna have personally in your life until it has happened to you and you ... (read in full...)
| *indyCares's friends
These are mutual friends, so *indyCares has
added them and they have added *indyCares!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
