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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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I've never even owned a fish, how are we going to compromise on owning a dog?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are planning on moving in together soon. We have always been opposites when it comes to pretty much everything. But now we are having a problem. We cant decide on what type of dog to get. He has ALWAYS wanted a German Shepard. ...
A. 11 December 2010: There are breeds who live well in apartment, they have a low level of indoor activity and ,once they have gone for their "hygienic " walks, they are sort of couch potatoes.
Basset hounds, dachsunds. Beagles . Other breeds too...but they are... (read in full...)
Love Letter with a Twist
Q. Dear Cupid. Hello. My girlfriend and I broke up over a silly issue two months ago. Our first and thus far, last fight. That's fine; we've both moved on. Being Christmas and all, I wrote her a thank you, merry Christmas and happy new year letter. ...
A. 11 December 2010: There is never anything wrong in wishing good things to people. I just don't see much point in it, since supposedly both of you have moved on and require no further contacts..?... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself from losing all hope of ever finding my Prince Charming?
Q. I'm 20 years old and only a year from graduating college. I am the epitome of a hopeless romantic. My bookshelf consists of piles of historical and contemporary romances, love poems and fairy tales. I spend my Friday nights watching romantic ...
A. 11 December 2010: It is a bit too early to get so discouraged , dear OP !
You are only 20 ! Why so negative ?... Why, I a have a son who's older than you and I still feel that I COULD meet
someone absolutely special , ( even if not necessarily princely ) !
It's ... (read in full...)
Love Letter with a Twist
Q. Dear Cupid. Hello. My girlfriend and I broke up over a silly issue two months ago. Our first and thus far, last fight. That's fine; we've both moved on. Being Christmas and all, I wrote her a thank you, merry Christmas and happy new year letter. ...
A. 11 December 2010: No, don't send it.
Pushing your sexual fantasies upon a girl that's not connected to you anymore, and maybe does not even want to be connected anymore, is inappropriate, invasive and arrogant.
Girls don't want to hold on to proof of what lover th... (read in full...)
Married lover doesn't love me but is extremely fond of me?
Q. Hi Ive been seeing a married man for about 9yrs, well i tried to break it off so i told him i would tell his wife about us if he didn't plus i said a lot of other very hurtful stuff to him, told him he had no respect for her ,or his marriage vows, ...
A. 11 December 2010: No he does not.
He has always told you he did not love you- he has never left your wife for you, and in fact got mad when you threatened to tell his wife.
He came back after you "hurt " him... Oh he wasn't that hurt. It was just words, after al... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend behaving like this?? Am I overreacting?
Q. Why is my boyfriend behaving like this?? Am I overreacting? whenever i see something nice my boyfriend would like i buy him it when i have the money and also cos i know he would like it. my birthday is next week and i don't want him to spend ...
A. 11 December 2010: I am of two minds, here. My gut reaction is to say : what a tightwad. Jeez, just pull out the tenner, get the bear and be done with it already !
It is also true that some people don't have the habit - or the inclination - or the cash to show thei... (read in full...)
Why is he being so complicated and difficult about everything??
Q. ok so about a week ago my bf and i decided to break up. lately ive been just being nice to him. before we started going out we were pretty good friends. but today i tried to be friendly to him and it totally blew up in my face. i tried to get us to ...
A. 11 December 2010: You don't say why you broke up and who initiated the break up ( no break up is ever really 50/50 mutual ) so the situation is unclear.
Yet , I would not overthink it. Guys at his age are notoriously fickle, their attention span in love matters is t... (read in full...)
Are these feelings I have for my teacher normal?
Q. Okay, so i am a thirteen year old girl and i kind of like my teacher. He's married, and twenty years older than me. I know that this is kind of weird, and i would never tell him how i feel. But, i just don't know what to do. I miss him on the days ...
A. 11 December 2010: Very normal, at least by Dear Cupid standards. At your age some girls crush on pop icons.. and some girls crush on their teachers.
Whay you want to do about it, honey ?:). Nothing. Just enjoy your crush till it lasts- which will be until some cut... (read in full...)
My mother seems to not want me to move on
Q. I am 26 years old; still living at home..paying off loans, helping my parents and also not really making enough to be able to afford it My father is actually the more laid back, practical one..he doesn't question me really if i am going out..he wi...
A. 11 December 2010: Yes and no.
Yes , I can relate to the fact that living with an overprotective mother at 26 must be very annoying.
No, I can't relate to the fact that, you say, she "makes" you feel anxious or what else. Nobody "makes" us feel what we feel- th... (read in full...)
She claims she loves me yet, she cancels our dates?
Q. I have a question that I need someone else's opinion on: I met a woman online and we been on several dates. She tells me that she loves me and wants to be with me (I figured a little early but what the hell) She lives with her grandmother who d...
A. 11 December 2010: Obvious : you pull the plug. Because this is what you had said you were going to do.
Mean what you say, and say what you mean.
Don't think your flexibility would be rewarded, it would just confirm her that basically she does not need to respe... (read in full...)
I've never even owned a fish, how are we going to compromise on owning a dog?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are planning on moving in together soon. We have always been opposites when it comes to pretty much everything. But now we are having a problem. We cant decide on what type of dog to get. He has ALWAYS wanted a German Shepard. ...
A. 10 December 2010: See if you can find a book called "The right dog for you "
by Daniel F. Tortora ( published by Simon and Schuster ).
It's a helpful tool for choosing a breed that matches your personality,family and lifestyle.
I would not recommend you a ... (read in full...)
Am I ready for this baby?
Q. im pregnate and dont know if im ready for this baby.my boyfriend wants the baby but im not sure if i do. we have known each other for two years but we have only gone out for 2 months.i think we are to young for this baby.i have only told my best ...
A. 10 December 2010: @ Kate 1219 : it depends in which State the OP lives. Some States have so called "Romeo and Juliet clauses " for
statutory rape ( when both are under age and their age difference is low ).
Some don't and if the adults press charges ( not that... (read in full...)
Do all men secretly prefer big breasted women?
Q. I've read many articles which say many studies have been done which prove that men prefer larger breasts, even on an unconscious level, because most men consciously say that size doesn't matter. But science has proved otherwise. However, most men ...
A. 10 December 2010: OP- I agree with Tisha 1- there is a big problem in your head and until you won't fix that , there no use fixing the small problems in your body. So I am aware that anything we Aunts can say will just slide off you - because you are CHOOSING to be ... (read in full...)
How do you get guys to stop talking to you when you have a boyfriend?
Q. How do you get guys to stop talking to you when you have a boyfriend? I am really shy and accept everyone who wants to be my friend and I'm always am nice but now I have a boyfriend and I don't know how to get part of the guys that talk to me to le...
A. 10 December 2010: I don't quite get your problem, it's not that if you get a boyfriend you must stop talking to any other males , and if your bf wants that maybe he should move to Afghanistan and become a Taleban.
Of course you don't want to encourage guys, or let ... (read in full...)
First time sex, would the next day be too soon to have sex again?
Q. I'm still a virgin and planning a trip to go see my boyfriend up at school for about four days and I was wondering that even though it might hurt having sex the first time is it too soon to like wait the next day to maybe have it again? ...
A. 10 December 2010: I think it should be fine, it does not hurt THAT much :)
Some girls are ready for a repeat performance right away...
But it's very individual. Just see how'll you feel and take it from there.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I miss my FWB guy?
Q. Hey I want/need advice Ok sooo I was friends with this guy then we started havin sex. We were not in a relationship and This went on for 8 months. So I was attached to him he was my second. Sooo things ended by me findind out that he took my cousi...
A. 10 December 2010: It's not wrong as in morally wrong, in fact is very natural. You got emotionally attached to the guy, he meant something to you, and now you miss him. Only , missing him is not very smart- better doing your upmost to forget and move on.
That goes... (read in full...)
Why does everyone have a problem with my choice to remain single?
Q. Why do people have a problem with single humans? Everytime I turn around I have a well meaning friend, or relative trying to ram some girl in my face. Meet so and so, come to this party, talk to her. It's absolutley insane!!! I have no interest in ...
A. 10 December 2010: Why do you care so much about what people say ?
It's the same as when they ask you " Did you join a gym... " or " Did you quit smoking... " or whatever. Answer " Not yet " and change subject.
Appreciate they mean well, and do what you please a... (read in full...)
Who do you prefer, a good boy or a bad boy, both girls and guys opinions matters
Q. Hey this is just a short question. I've been curious, is it true that girls only go for bad boys? I'm usually considered as the good boy which a lot of my female friends told me. So it has always been on my mind for awhile. Girls and guys ...
A. 10 December 2010: Define " good " or " bad ".
Logically most women would prefer a good boy.
The problem is that most guys think that being " good "
simply means holding a job, not having a criminal record, not being and alcoholic or a drug addict, and saying "... (read in full...)
Do all men secretly prefer big breasted women?
Q. I've read many articles which say many studies have been done which prove that men prefer larger breasts, even on an unconscious level, because most men consciously say that size doesn't matter. But science has proved otherwise. However, most men ...
A. 9 December 2010: @ Cerberus : who knows, you may be right. Probably when I am with male friends I practice selective attention :)- I just authomatically switch the audio off when they start talking about boobs- same as when they talk about football. Also if ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with her or not?
Q. I have known this girl for almost my entire life and we are the best of friends. She is the type of girl that flaunts around and has had many boyfriends before. well recently i thought that maybe i could try to be with her and she said yes. so we st...
A. 9 December 2010: The short answer is : yes, it's a bad decision.
The long answer is : only you know what you can handle and what you cannot. You are looking forward to maybe a lifetime of her running around with other guys and having sex with them and perhaps gett... (read in full...)
Do all men secretly prefer big breasted women?
Q. I've read many articles which say many studies have been done which prove that men prefer larger breasts, even on an unconscious level, because most men consciously say that size doesn't matter. But science has proved otherwise. However, most men ...
A. 9 December 2010: @Micky Sanchez - are you talking to me ?:) I perfectly agree with you on everything !
@ OP- there must be something wrong with the men you surround yourself with. You make them sound as if all they do is drooling and ogling and watching porn and ... (read in full...)
I treated her so badly she has finally snapped, will she ever come back?
Q. Hi Everybody I need some serious help and please don't say things like that's what I get because I already know it's all my fault. I just loss my gf and I'm I think for good this time. I took her for granted and not once was insecure about h...
A. 9 December 2010: OP : your bewilderment makes me think you don't even read the posts you get .
All I can say is : don't hold your breath waiting for her to come back.... (read in full...)
Why do men get defensive when asked to wear condoms?
Q. hi dear aunts and uncles. why men don't like wearing condoms and get defensive when you ask for it? they always throw the 'you don't trust me' line. that doesn't work with me be cause i believe that no glove no love is the best thing to do. but ...
A. 9 December 2010: They think they can get away with it- because too often they CAN get away with it ( at least judging from DC posts ). Girls are afraid the guy will slip away if they don't please him- and accept the risk .
Also, Odds raises a very good point, mayb... (read in full...)
I don't want to be his booty call!
Q. I'm a little nervous. My "friend" made a comment as he left my house after fooling around about loving "booty calls." The thing is, I don't want it to be a booty call. I don't know the way to try to tell him gently that either he has to be a man and ...
A. 9 December 2010: Don't tell him gently, tell him clearly. Most guys don't "do" hints.
Stop fooling around randomly with him- tell him that if he wants to take you out on some dates to see if you two connect, that would be great- otherwise, sorry, he needs to find... (read in full...)
Ladies, what do you think of a 40 year old virgin? No, not the movie.
Q. OK, here is a simple and straight-forward question for the ladies. I am going to be honest, and I want the HONEST truth, as you see it. I am a male, 39, going to be 40 in 3 months. I am a virgin. Mostly I am a virgin because I believe sex sho...
A. 9 December 2010: Do you want the politically correct answer or the sincere one ?...
Ok, I'll give you the sincere one anyway :
Yes, it would make me wonder. It would find it not weird ,but very unusual and I would ask myself what's this is about ( unless it were ... (read in full...)
He's spinning me right round, right round..
Q. Hi everyone: Lately I've been going through a lot because of this guy I dated nd I'm in love with and now I don't know what to do. My story goes like this : I met him on january and since the first day we saww each other we had like a connect...
A. 9 December 2010: You should stop believing his bull...t and stop let him manipulate you. That his family would not accept you may be true but it's not relevant,he treated you very disrespectfully regardless of his religion, and he will continue doing so until you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has an alcohol problem and broke my nose.
Q. Hi I am 20 years old liveing with my boyfriend who is 35. Everthing was just fine until he started drinking realy bad! I have left him becasu of him hitting me on two different occasions but I took him back! About a week ago he broke my nose. ...
A. 9 December 2010: And, you are still in touch with him what for exactly ?....Fixing a convenient date for him to complete properly the job and also knock your teeth down ?...... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't use condoms because he says they're gross and smell bad!
Q. Hi Im 21 years old and i have been with my boyfreind for 4 years and recently he wont use condoms he says that they are gross they smell and that he cant feel anything when they are on and he gets turned off. it make me upset that he doesnt want to ...
A. 8 December 2010: You could get on the pill.
But in the meantime, keep putting your foot down.
Dirty diapers smell even worse. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mother in law I find her sexy?
Q. I'm 28 and very sexually and emotionally attracted to my mother in law. she is 45. I have known her for 8 yrs and we get along very well. she knows I check her out every chance I get and has never said anything, she has checked me out before and ...
A. 8 December 2010: I would keep my mouth shut. Not so much for obvious moral reasons, you seem not to care much about them. But for practical reasons.
It's far from sure she will be flattered. What if instead she gets mad and makes a stink ?. She may make a scen... (read in full...)
Do I emphasize "no contact" after being dumped?
Q. What do you think of the no contact rule if you have been the one dumped, yet still in love? My bf broke up with me 3 weeks ago because he thinks we fight too much and he needs time to himself. He claims he still loves me, buthis behavior is hot and ...
A. 8 December 2010: No contact means no contact. If you contact him to tell him you are not gonna contact him... then you are still contacting him and it's not "no contact ".
LOL ! I swear I wasn't drunk when I wrote this !
Let's try again - DO "no contact ". He s... (read in full...)
Why did he go to a dating agency when we are so happy?
Q. i have been wiith my partner 10 months now and 3 weeks ago he went to a dating agency and told me he was curious and wanted to find out if he was ready to settle down and if was me wanted to share life with . we are so happy ...
A. 8 December 2010: The other posters said it all, I just want to add this :
if by " he went to a dating agency " you mean that he signed up with an off line dating agency, that's not the same as idly perusing Craigslist ads - he is not just curious, he is proa... (read in full...)
He wants to get married, but I do not and because of this he wants to break up.....
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for five long years. Of course we've had our ups and our downs, and iv caught him texting another girl a few times during our second year of being together. I love this boy to death there is no doubt in my mind ...
A. 8 December 2010: I am afraid this is one of those cases where just love is not enough. It's more about having opposite life visions and wanting opposite things for your future.
I am totally with you, I think 19 is waaay too early for considering marriage and kids... (read in full...)
Am I weird for feeling confused?
Q. I guy I was dating told me things that a lot of men I have dated have never told me-----he told me that he could see living his life with me, that he was falling in love with me, that he was surprised that no one ever asked me to marry them, etc. ...
A. 8 December 2010: I wonder too why you keep texting him.
He repeatedly told you you are done, he does not answers your calls , he does not want to discuss your relationship with you. If you text him you bug him. But if he text you, then it's ok.
What a conceite... (read in full...)
I treated her so badly she has finally snapped, will she ever come back?
Q. Hi Everybody I need some serious help and please don't say things like that's what I get because I already know it's all my fault. I just loss my gf and I'm I think for good this time. I took her for granted and not once was insecure about h...
A. 8 December 2010: What made her snap ? You made her snap.
Even the meakest creature on earth has a breaking point, but the problem is it's a secret breaking point, you don't know if she will reach it in one month or one year or ten years.
People swallows shit day... (read in full...)
Brother in law problems....
Q. Hey all, Iam a happily marrieed woman but I have one problem. The problem is with my brother in law. This started a while back before I got married. I was suppose to meet my BIL at a party in 06 that was arrangged by a family member, but he d...
A. 8 December 2010: Paranoia has got nothing to do with it, in the sense that it does not really matter whether he says these things because he is attracted to you or because he has a bad sense of humour. The point is, he is being crass , and he is making crass jokes ... (read in full...)
Do women really like one night stands? Is "new" sex more of a turn-on? Or, is the sex better after you've been married?
Q. The conventional wisdom seems to be that sex for women is more emotionally involved than it is for men. The gist of this seems to be that women like sex better when they're in a committed, stable, loving relationship. Yet, I see a lot of posts by ...
A. 8 December 2010: No, I don't think women really like one night stands. I think it goes as popular wisdom says : men use love to get sex, women use sex to get love. There are many women who will have casual sex out of loneliness, insecurity or unfulfilled need for ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to send my ex a Christmas card or even a gift?
Q. So my ex girlfriend of one year and I broke up back in September and it's been almost three months since we've seen each other. As far as I know she's been dating somebody else almost a week after we broke up. It wasn't best of news when I heard ...
A. 8 December 2010: Not a good idea.
Being an ex after all means : you don't belong anymore to the circle of my dearest and nearest. So why would you send her a gift ?
It does not mean you have to be hostile or rude, but IMO once you have e-mailed her "Merry X... (read in full...)
My friend gave me oral sex but I'm not sure if it was cheating
Q. Hey agony aunts. I've been feeling really guilty lately because i don't know if i've cheated on my girlfriend or not. last week i was staying over at a friend's house. This is the first time i've ever dated a girl so i was worried about how to give ...
A. 7 December 2010: Yes it's cheating but you must know it already . I don't buy it that you really believed your male friend just wanted to teach you a new skill, and I don't buy it that you thought this was going to be an appropriate way of learning.
How can rece... (read in full...)
What do you think? Something just doesn't sound right about this to me!
Q. I have a friend who recently got back from studying 6 months abroad. There he met a girl who now says she's in a relationship with him, and as I have them both on facebook I see all the cutesy things they write each other. My friend seems really in ...
A. 7 December 2010: Chigirl,you are such a smart girl, you know better :)
It's good that you have a sense of justice and when you sense something wrong you want to make it right, but I feel
here you'd better tread lightly. After all, there are too many things y... (read in full...)
Worried about what my family will say about me dating a 40 year old....
Q. hey i am 22 almost 23. I have a friend that is 40 and i know he has strong feelings for me. I'm starting to have feelings for him too. Would it be out of the question to start a relationship with him? He's seperated with an 18 and an 11 year old ...
A. 7 December 2010: Amen,Dear Jilly.
It is so easy to forget that opposites attract... and similarities carry you on. Love brings to you very strange bedfellows some times : people half your age, twice your age,with contrasting political views, totally different valu... (read in full...)
Do all men secretly prefer big breasted women?
Q. I've read many articles which say many studies have been done which prove that men prefer larger breasts, even on an unconscious level, because most men consciously say that size doesn't matter. But science has proved otherwise. However, most men ...
A. 7 December 2010: Well, apparently your dilemma has an easy solution. If you really hate your boobs so much, then get implants. Some guys dislike them, but most won't care.
But, this is not really about boobs, is it ? It's about your self image. You basically can'... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself from losing all hope of ever finding my Prince Charming?
Q. I'm 20 years old and only a year from graduating college. I am the epitome of a hopeless romantic. My bookshelf consists of piles of historical and contemporary romances, love poems and fairy tales. I spend my Friday nights watching romantic ...
A. 7 December 2010: I am a big Jane Austen fan, I read each of her novels maybe ten times or more.
And you know what I most admire in her ?
That she is very practical and down to earth. She tells it like it is. She's more into Sense than into Sensibil... (read in full...)
Where have all the good, single men gone?
Q. Ok so I'm a single mom of 2 and I'm 21. I also go to school at nights. I want to kno how I can meet a good guy and wher do u meet theese good guys? I always find assholes and cheaters I can't seem to pic them well. And I don't have much free time ...
A. 7 December 2010: Lazy Guy expressed his views in a rather forceful way but
I am afraid that he has a point : as unfair as it is , your "value " on the dating market is lowered by your being a single mom of two, regardless of your personal qualities.
Men under 30... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was nursing her 3 year-old!
Q. I have been dating a new gal for the last several months. She is wonderful in every way. She has a cute 3 1/2 year old son. I was at her house a week ago and she took her son upstairs to put him to bed. It took a long time, so I thought she may have ...
A. 7 December 2010: Personally I am not a big fan of late breast feeding. There are no studies proving the nutritional benefits of breast milk AFTER the first 18-24 months of life, so it's just a relational thing, a way of cuddling or using the breast as a pacifyer. ... (read in full...)
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