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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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Am I a bit weird for not particularly liking kids?
Q. This isn't a relationship question but i would be interested to hear what people think. Ever since i was about 13 (i'm now 23) i realised i wasn't the maternal type. People would show off their kids and these women would go all ga ga over them and...
A. 13 January 2011: No. I never went go go ga ga about any baby, including mine. I loved him , I was affectionate, I think I have been a good mom ( my son says it too ,at least when he is in a good mood ) but I never quite understood the need many people have ... (read in full...)
How long will a woman chase a man by phone only?
Q. How long will a woman chase a man if the chasing can only be done by phone? How can I shorten the chase and how can I drag it out if needed? Please at least let me know if you are male or female....
A. 13 January 2011: I'll happily chase men for an extended period of time, but only if I can put together a nice pack of beagles and if I can still fit into my red hunting coat.
Tally-ho! Tally - ho !... (read in full...)
I feel like girlfriend's sister is forcing us to get married!
Q. I'am 20 years old my girlfriend is 8 weeks pregnant,she is vietnamese and im mexican/dominican we both have very different families, so we told her sister about the pregnancy and shes very excited,but now I feel like the sister is forcing us to get ...
A. 13 January 2011: Strange. If any - I would expect the opposite. I visited a few times both Mexico and Santo Domingo ( both great places, btw ) and I was under the impression that in both cultures people still prefer to go the traditional way about these things : ... (read in full...)
She wants to know why I am sexually attracted to her?
Q. My girlfriend asked me why I am sexually and physicall attracted to her. I was at a lost for words. What do I say?...
A. 13 January 2011: You reminded of me a very old joke :)
it goes more or less like this :
John's girlfriend : "John ,do my hair look like golden silk threads spun by the hand of a fairy ? "
John "Yes "
Girlfriend : " And, do my eyes remind you of two deep emerald... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a woman to cry on demand?
Q. Hi, Last year I was in a relationship with a woman who in retrospect I feel was manipulating me. She had asked me for a lot of money and I gave it to her over the course of the year, without getting anything back. (We were not even dating.) But I fo...
A. 12 January 2011: Crying on command is not as difficult as people believe.
Most actors and wanna-be actors can sort of pull it off.
Maybe they will sound a bit, or a lot, "fake ", but you see, it all depends from the audience : you were already a
eager, we... (read in full...)
Why is he acting like this if he wants her?
Q. I have no idea where to start so excuse the rambling. This situation has been going on well over a year and i'm just so tired of it. It's a long story so i'm going to leave most of the details out. So, me and and a guy i knew from school, go...
A. 12 January 2011: It would be nice if all men were pillars of unwavering loyalty as you want them to be, unluckily human nature being what it is, - many of them are not and there is this rather widespread notion that you can always do with a good "spare tyre " or ... (read in full...)
I'm scared I might have hurt her when I chickened out of going further. I don't know what to do
Q. Ok, so i'm 15 and my girlfriend and I are talking about sex. But i'm scared to because i might hurt her. we've reached really close to having sex, but i chickened out. I told her this reason and she keeps saying it'll be ok... i don't know what to ...
A. 12 January 2011: No, don't go for it- may I remind you that you and your gf are under legal age for sex in USA ?... (read in full...)
Do I choose the career I've always dreamed of over my fiance, or sacrifice everything for my relationship?
Q. I'm Indian. I'm doing my MBA from a prestigious Indian bschool. As a part of exchange program I'd come to Italy for 4 months. I met an Italian guy within 1 week of coming to Milan (who's also 13.5 years older than me...I'm 23, he's 36) and he says ...
A. 12 January 2011: @Danielepew : oh no, I like Italians. Maybe I don't like men that much !:) ...but that's another story. ( Just kidding ! ).
It's just that marriage - with any nationality - is a serious thing and our OP has not thought well about all it woul... (read in full...)
Wondering if I should stay in this marriage?
Q. Does anyone think I should stay? Will try to keep this short. In my heart I know the answer but although I am a very strong and independant person, I am also afraid of making the wrong choice. Married 16 years with teenaged son. Husband has ...
A. 12 January 2011: Pushing you across the room and holding you by your neck are not " abusive flare ups ", they are just physical abuse, plain and simple.
Not that the the constant verbal abuse and aggressive attutude in general are anything to take lightly- but ... (read in full...)
Do women enjoy it?
Q. Do women enjoy anal? I expect that it differs from person to person, but on average? Or is it only something a girl would let a guy do as something special for him? ...
A. 12 January 2011: Some do, of course. But on average, no ,not that much.It's something that typically appeals more to the man and the woman goes along with it ( when she does ) to please him.... (read in full...)
Do I choose the career I've always dreamed of over my fiance, or sacrifice everything for my relationship?
Q. I'm Indian. I'm doing my MBA from a prestigious Indian bschool. As a part of exchange program I'd come to Italy for 4 months. I met an Italian guy within 1 week of coming to Milan (who's also 13.5 years older than me...I'm 23, he's 36) and he says ...
A. 11 January 2011: Being Italian ,I should root for the guy from Milan, instead I tell you : please don't do it. Go home.
You said you only were to stay in Italy 4 months : do you want to marry a guy after having known him since less than 4 months ?? Very risk... (read in full...)
Is he messing me around? Or am I expecting too much, too soon?
Q. i 'met' a guy just before christmas (he sent me a message on fb, he thought he had gone to school with me as we have a few mutual friends) he read my page and saw that i was having a hard time....my mum has recently died so christmas was a ...
A. 11 January 2011: This has written casual sex a.k.a.booty call all over it.
Now, moms too are sexual beings and they are entitled to live their sexuality and sensuality and to appreciate a lovely all-night cuddle, but their kids generally have a hard time gras... (read in full...)
I questioned whether we would be OK this year and handle his mother? But he was upset by my question
Q. My boyfriend of 18 months is Egyptian Muslim and I am Muslim in Britain. His father died several years ago and his mother is very controlling. He has 2 sisters and a brother. His brother is spiteful at times but my boyfriend is very close to him ...
A. 11 January 2011: Well, maybe you'd be upset too if he had called your mom crazy :) Mothers are a sensitive issue for everybody, and particularly for males .From any culture.
Anyway, correct me if I am wrong, I have got the feeling that you are someone born in a Br... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 3 months is away a lot in Army. is it a good idea to have a baby now?
Q. I'm 19 (20 at the end of 2011) I'm currently with my boyfriend who is 22 we have been together for 3 months and are living together (ano sounds crazy) he is in the army and is away a lot but recently we have decided to have a baby after a ...
A. 11 January 2011: No, I think you are being very irrespondible just considering the possibility of getting pregnant. You are only 19 , and you two have not been together long enough to consider even adopting a pet together.
... (read in full...)
My friend doesn't simply cancel, he goes silent!
Q. I have a male friend who I have a purely platonic friendship with. I've known him about 18 months and in that time we have had quite a few arguments. Its always regarding us arranging to meet and him then blowing me out. I appreciate people are busy ...
A. 11 January 2011: No no no. Manners are not gender specific. It's not that he is excused from being polite because he is a man.
If dumping him as a friend or accepting his rude ways, that's entirely depending upon your definition of friendship.
Perso... (read in full...)
She says she loves me and no one will ever compare but, I can't help but think what she has already had!
Q. I am really really struggling with insecurity given the amount of guys my girlfirend has slept with and in particular the amount of them that she has admitted had large manhoods - 8-9inc by her reckoning...She was forced into sex work for a year or ...
A. 10 January 2011: Wrong !
The only part of the vagina rich with nervous terminations - the part which is equipped to "feel " - is the first third ( from the opening inward ), that's about 2.5-3 inches. So length is not an issue.
Girth could be, since some w... (read in full...)
He wants me to move to be with him but I don't trust him! What should I do?
Q. So my best friend introduced me to this guy she used to work with. I started talking to him although he lived about 2,000 miles away from me. I was a little hesitant because he was so far but I thought, what the heck who knows where this can go.. So ...
A. 10 January 2011: So you want to move 2000 miles away in a town which you don't like, to be close to a guy that's not ready to commit, might be seeing other girls, has surely lied to you, promised you something that he did not deliver and owes you money which he is ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me and no one will ever compare but, I can't help but think what she has already had!
Q. I am really really struggling with insecurity given the amount of guys my girlfirend has slept with and in particular the amount of them that she has admitted had large manhoods - 8-9inc by her reckoning...She was forced into sex work for a year or ...
A. 10 January 2011: Maybe it's me, but I don't get it.
You seem not to have a big problem with dating an ex sex worker ( btw, it must have been way more than 2-300 clients, which professional "escort" takes home only a client every two days ? ) What for many men woul... (read in full...)
Will my ex boyfriend come back to me?
Q. Im a girl and im really hurt. My ex and i broke up a month ago. We were gonna get back together , He told me "He loves me and only wants to be with me"... Behind each other back after the break up hewas talking to his ex and i went out for din...
A. 10 January 2011: Honey, honestly, the way you put this question, you need a fortune teller, not a DC Aunt. How can we tell you what he is going to do in future ? At most we can advise you about what YOU could do - since the only person over whom you can have control ... (read in full...)
I want him to know that I know he was lying!
Q. So I am talking to this guy whom I occasionally work with and I hang out with, we have slept together a few times, we hang out more than anything. So he works alot and the other day it was my birthday and we were suspossed to hang out for my ...
A. 10 January 2011: I dislike liars and lies, and I tell the truth 98% of the times ( some white lies are at times inevitable ).
Still, I can sort of see where is coming from.
Perhaps ,more than a serial liar and player, the guy is a non-confrontational type who like... (read in full...)
He asked me to marry him and then took it back, now he is engaged to somebody else!
Q. HELP!!!! ok here is the thing ive been friends with this guy for 8 years we know absolutly everything there is to know about eachother i know things that not even his supposed wife to be knows. he only trusts me with most things we are best friends ...
A. 10 January 2011: Can't you hear a noise,like a buzz ?...
... Is it a bird ? ... Is it an airplane ?...
It's the bullshit detector !!
Aw please.
He says he does not love her and does not want to be with her. Then, WHY is he with her, why is he gonna marry her.... (read in full...)
He's everything I could want but he doesn't fancy me!
Q. I am 16 and i am single. I have never had a boy friend and i am in love with my best friend... He is everything I could ever want in a boy but he does not fancy me. i have tried to get over him many times but it has not worked. I feel as if I am the ...
A. 9 January 2011: I think you are just going though your ugly dickling phase and going to turn soon into a beautiful swan.
5'11 ...and complaining ? honey, that's a model's height- there are tons of short girls who would love to be in your shoes !
Hair ? A luscio... (read in full...)
Are we ever going to meet? He stopped texting me
Q. I was due to meet this guy ive been speking to for 4 months yesterday(sat) which never went ahead We speak and txt everyday and everything was still going ahead Anyway i spoke to him for around 15 mins friday nite and he said we will do somt...
A. 9 January 2011: It sounds like he stood you up.
I would not contact him again, you texted him 3 times and he never replied.
I don't see much point in insisting. If he really had some sort of accident, he cannot reply . If ,more probably , he got your messages... (read in full...)
If they met him they would love him, but my parents don't approve. What can I do?
Q. I like this guy and he is19 and I'm 14, I met him over the summer in south Dakota and I live in illinois and we really do like each other. My parents both know about him. They don't approve because he is a different race than us, but I know if they ...
A. 9 January 2011: Maybe it's not just the race, - at least I hope.
As a parent I would be concerned about the age difference. He is a bit too old for you. It would be different if you were 20 dating a 25 y.o.guy, but...you are 14.
Or maybe they don't like you... (read in full...)
What are the signs that a relationship is likely to end? Even it all looks OK now?
Q. Hey everyone, From your experience, when you were in a long-term relationship with an ex-boyfriend (or ex-gf), did you ever have a feeling (or signs) that you guys will eventually break up? (it's my first relationship and it happens to be lo...
A. 9 January 2011: There are always signs . Always thin cracks in the wall before it comes tumbling down. I don't think that anybody just wakes up in the morning thinking, You know what ? Today I am dumping this person that I cherished and adored till yesterday ... (read in full...)
Our mother in law was offended and her reaction has hurt our sister in law. How can we help?
Q. My brother-in-law(BIL) has been married for a year and a half. For both of them, it's their second marriage. Both of them were very close and used to spend hours talking with each other. After marriage since they were working in different places, ...
A. 9 January 2011: The European advice would be "mind your own business, you sister in law has already an interfering mother in law to contend with , without also adding two meddling sisters in law to run her life ".
I understand though that in your society it's... (read in full...)
Should I move in with my married lover or will it not be accepted?
Q. Hello all. I hope you're enjoying the new year. Well, I'm in a quandary. Just over a year ago I began seeing a work colleague. There was an obvious attraction between us for about six months before we kissed. Naively, I thought that we could ma...
A. 9 January 2011: OP, you are in love with this guy so I realize that the advice of a bunch of strangers won't make you change your feelings . And after all,it's your life. You are 27, not a teenager - by now you know that any choice has consequences, good and ... (read in full...)
I am not religious but have certain beliefs about virginity. Is this hard to appreciate?
Q. I am currently an 33 year old atheist and virgin. I used to be a devoted christian, but lost my faith some years ago. However, my feelings towards sex has remained the same (or even grown stronger) meaning that I still feel that sex should be ...
A. 9 January 2011: If I were a single girl, I would not have much of a problem with a 33 y.o. virgin... I'd have more of a problem with a guy who quotes Marylin French...
Lol. Just kidding. Forgive me, OP, bear with me. It's my viper streak, some times I just can'... (read in full...)
I love him but my best friend has him, and I helped get them together!
Q. I fell in love with this boy. But then, my best friend, told he she loved him first. So, I worked hard to get them together. Now, finally, they are, and they're both in love. And I'm unhappy. I would have told this boy my feelings, but I'm like a ...
A. 9 January 2011: How old is this guy ?? If he is literally old enough for you to call him "dad " , then it's a very good thing you did not get to be with him ! How old your friend is ?....
What can you do now ? Alas, I think just leave it as it is and learn from... (read in full...)
Should I move in with my married lover or will it not be accepted?
Q. Hello all. I hope you're enjoying the new year. Well, I'm in a quandary. Just over a year ago I began seeing a work colleague. There was an obvious attraction between us for about six months before we kissed. Naively, I thought that we could ma...
A. 8 January 2011: Oh boy.
You wanted a honest answer, so here it is :
I have a 21 y.o. son, he if would move in with a 54 y.o. MARRIED lady, I'd be devastated. Simply devastated.
Would I accept it ? I guess I would have no choice. He is my son, and always will ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my former teacher, who is married, how I feel?
Q. Hi there, I have a little bit of a problem. I'm 20 years old, been out of high school for almost three years now but I still have very strong, deep feelings for my high school teacher. I first had him as my teacher during my junior year, and sinc...
A. 8 January 2011: ?? What name calling ??
I just read all the thread, nobody says "crazy" or "whiny baby ". Caring Guy says "homewrecker " in a context, he says : stop now UNLESS you want to become a homewrecker(therefore, you are not a homewrecker right now ).
... (read in full...)
He has been my boyfriend for two months, and is now trying to get me pregnant!
Q. Okay so me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 months now and he started talkinq bout having a baby with me. The thing is im 16 and he is 18. I told him i'm not ready to have a baby that's not in my life plan to be pregnant at 16. even ...
A. 8 January 2011: You need advice ? You don't know what to do ????
C'mon, I don't believe you. I mean ,ok, you are only 16, you don't have a lot of life experience, probably you are in love - but, there is a limit to gullibility and "doormattism ".
You have bee... (read in full...)
I don't know what to make of the gift I got from a friend?
Q. This guy and I aren't friends and we aren't dating.. It's like that phase inbetween the two. For Christmas, I wasn't planning on getting him a present, but he told me he got something, so I got something for him. My gift for him was a Chinese red ...
A. 8 January 2011: Gemstones are always romantic :). I think he must like you as more than a friend...
If you don't wear it as a necklace ( but why not ) keep it as a talisman in your purse or on your night stand.
Supposedly, amethyst's metaphysical properti... (read in full...)
How can I become a born again virgin
Q. How do I become a born again virgin I've been with a lot of guys and I'm now really starting to regret it I really want to change but I don't know how to make it official ? Can someone help me please?...
A. 8 January 2011: I had to google it to be sure and I found out that a born again virgin is, in fundamentalist Christian terms, someone with a promiscuous past ,who commits from now on to abstain from sex until mrriage.
If we were still in the 17th century you coul... (read in full...)
What do you think the text he sent could mean?
Q. So i kindof liked this guy, and he liked me in about a month, he got 2 2nd base with me then told me things were complicated and he couldnt have any type of relashionship right now. Which kindof hurt, so i told him i wouldnt bother him anymore, and ...
A. 8 January 2011: I think the kind of friend he has in mind is a sort of Friend with Benefits.
He told you he did not want a relationship AFTER he got to 2nd base with you - he could have told you before, right ?
Maybe he did not expect your reaction, and now he d... (read in full...)
Separated for 12 years but not divorced -- am I being too picky?
Q. I have been talking(texting) to this guy i met online for about a month. He told me he was divorced and had 2 girls and I didn't mind at all.........I love kids and I too am divorced so.... Today I met him for the first time and during conversation ...
A. 8 January 2011: This is not a matter of being prudish vs, being forward thinking.
This is a matter of knowing what you want, and it sounds you do.
You said you want a single guy, this guy is not single but still married,so he does not fit the bill ( btw it w... (read in full...)
Am I being taken advantage of?
Q. I want to know if he really loves me, or if hes taking advantage of me...or both if that's an option i don't know how to write this out because there's a lot i could say, so I'm just going to describe our typical day starting from when he gets off...
A. 8 January 2011: I read this and at first I thought it was a fake post. But I am afraid it's true instead.
Do you really sit with him for 5 hours while he is playing video games or fiddling with his computer ???
Why ?? What about you ? What about actually... (read in full...)
Should I tell my former teacher, who is married, how I feel?
Q. Hi there, I have a little bit of a problem. I'm 20 years old, been out of high school for almost three years now but I still have very strong, deep feelings for my high school teacher. I first had him as my teacher during my junior year, and sinc...
A. 8 January 2011: No. He is married- leave him alone regardless. Plus, if he is happily married, with your love declaration you woulkd only embarass him -and yourself.... (read in full...)
I still love her, but she's sending mixed signals. How do I win her back?
Q. It's almost two weeks since we broke up. I was very angry at her, we were going through a rough patch. She claims I broke up with her, while she had made it clear that she wanted to be single. As part of my move on strategy, I removed her as my ...
A. 8 January 2011: a)Because you did break up with her. You are not a mind reader and you cannot know that's all she wanted- at least not just yet.
b) because she was miffed that you had removed her from your facebook friends . She may have thought : that's rich... (read in full...)
Trying to work things out with my husband but his daughters think of me as a drill Sergent!!
Q. My Husband and I have been seperated for three months. We both have children, and unfortuately his kids have never really gotten along with me. the girls have always lived with their mom, who has always been very lient with them. They have been ...
A. 8 January 2011: You can't impose your parenting style on someone else's kids. Even if,undoubtly, you did and do a much better job than their own parents !
How does your husband feel about early sexual activity, frat parties, etc. ? If HE has a problem with that... (read in full...)
Why did he have to be so graphic about this woman?
Q. I sometimes work on the holidays, during school vacation...so... I knew this guy for about two years. We are kinda close but I only would like us to be friends and nothing more. We would talk about many topics: marriage, sex, life...in...
A. 7 January 2011: But... what do you actually want from this guy ?
You say you want you two just to be friends and nothing more.
So, what is it, are your male friends not allowed to joke or comment about other girls ?... He was not being "graphic", he was just jok... (read in full...)
I am not religious but have certain beliefs about virginity. Is this hard to appreciate?
Q. I am currently an 33 year old atheist and virgin. I used to be a devoted christian, but lost my faith some years ago. However, my feelings towards sex has remained the same (or even grown stronger) meaning that I still feel that sex should be ...
A. 6 January 2011: Well, it's not unimaginable, and anyway this is your choice and like any heartfelt choice has to be respected.
You will be aware , though, that it is a very unusual choice, and, like anything unusual, is bound to draw curiosity ,even perp... (read in full...)
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