| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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My dad was such a jerk! How do I deal with this and stop my annoyance from consuming me?
Q. Grrr.. In so frustrated at what happened last night after going for a meal with my family! It was my boyfriends birthday and we decided to take him out to eat, I said it'd be my treat because my bf always pays for everything when we go out. ...
A. 7 June 2010: He sounds like my father. As soon as he knows he can take advantage, he will. Clearly never give him any freedom again. I think it would be wise to speak to your mother and see if she will cover part of the bill. As for the anger, use it ... (read in full...)
Does the other man ever end up with the wife?
Q. I am a very picky man. I dated a lot of woman and I for some reason I fell for a married woman with a child. We fell for each other, she is in a very unhappy marriage. She immediately kicked him out of her house as soon as we started our ...
A. 7 June 2010: Contrary to popular opinion, cheating people very rarely end up together, as such, because they never really get to know each other. You know her as a woman who is married, and you haven't really lived with her or got to know her as such. It's the ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with him or go have fun?
Q. Ok so, I've had boyfriend for a year and 3 months now and we never have any problems just a couple small arguments, you know normal stuff... but the problem is lately I have been feeling just kind of like I wish I was single. My friends have been ...
A. 6 June 2010: Have your fun. You'll resent it if you don't. ... (read in full...)
Ex girlfriend found a new "friend", but tells me we will get back together soon. Is she for real?
Q. Recently i split up with my girlfriend. the exact nature of the break was we argued alot and various other issues we had. i lost my cell phone and didnt speak to her for a week. after that week i had hoped she would have moved on. she did and was ...
A. 6 June 2010: By Thursday, she will know where she stands with this other guy. Trust us, you're being played here. Don't go back. ... (read in full...)
NO BC pills..should I just use condom and take morning after pill too?
Q. Hi, I need some advice my boyfriend is going to Afghanistan at the end of this month, we have been going out for while but haven't had sex yet, we have decided to have sex before he leaves. The advice I need is that I am currently not on...
A. 6 June 2010: Good point about the teenage mums. But getting to the point, condoms are about 97% reliable. So use that and the morning after pill, and you should be fine. ... (read in full...)
She wants us to just be friends, should I accept this?
Q. hi everyone. i need some help. Me and my ex have been split up for about 4 months. we have had ups and downs within these 4 months, going from anger and not talking, too going clubbing, cinema and even sleeping together. She has said she wants us...
A. 6 June 2010: She's not coming back. And you need to accept that. You need to move on from her, Very rarely can ex's remain friends, because there is so much history. You don't want to be the guy who hangs around his ex and never moves on from her. Time to move ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the way he talks to other girls, does he really find me beautiful?
Q. (moderators note: two questions in one) My blackheads just won't go away. Everybody tells me I'm pretty, but I'm sensitive about the blackheads. Lately it seems like I'll just have to live with them, because they aren't going anywhere. Do guys car...
A. 6 June 2010: For the first question, guys won't care.
For the second, it seems like he's trying his luck with a lot of women. I'd suggest to you that this guy isn't really worth the time. You don't want to wind up getting used, which is very possible with a gu... (read in full...)
Ex girlfriend found a new "friend", but tells me we will get back together soon. Is she for real?
Q. Recently i split up with my girlfriend. the exact nature of the break was we argued alot and various other issues we had. i lost my cell phone and didnt speak to her for a week. after that week i had hoped she would have moved on. she did and was ...
A. 6 June 2010: I think she's keeping you around in case things with this other guy don't work out. Seriously, move on from her. You'll wind up second best and just get dumped again. ... (read in full...)
How do learn to trust him after he's cheated?
Q. I am considering getting back with my ex, and giving things another shot. We got along well, but earlier on there were some major trust issues due to his behaviour that made it difficult for me to trust him out alone, partying, using the internet, ...
A. 6 June 2010: Every single problem that was there before will be there now, because he's the same. He hasn't changed at all. It takes more then 6/7 weeks for a man to change. He's telling you what you want to hear. But you can be sure this won't work out. Find a ... (read in full...)
My wife cheated and I want a threesome
Q. My wife and I have been married for five years, she cheated on me in the beginning, and said that she cheated so should I, But I told her I would love a threesome with another female and her. She said ok we haven't had one because when it gets ...
A. 6 June 2010: why are you two married. This isn't the way to fix what has gone wrong. I you hurt her during sex, then focus on sorting that out, and focus on fixing your marriage. She really doesn't want the threesome, and it will do nothing other than wreck your ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my husband and don't know who is the father of my daughter!
Q. Hi, please someone help me!!! I've been married for 4 years now and been with my husband for 10 years. We have a 2 year old son and now a 3 week old daughter. The problem is, I'm not sure if ou daughter is my husbands baby?? I had cheated on my ...
A. 6 June 2010: If he is sterile, then it is very unlikely. But there is always a chance. ... (read in full...)
I'm gutted after learning my wife has been cheating for years
Q. just found out my wife has been cheating for years i feel everything i held to be true is false too many feelings she blames me could that be true...
A. 6 June 2010: Wow. Well, to solely blame you is quite appalling really. Most affairs do have a reason, but very rarely is it just down to one person. Maybe there was something missing for her. Maybe she didn't feel that you were close enough. But she didn't have ... (read in full...)
We agreed to take a break, but now my girlfriend doesn't want to get back together
Q. So about 10 days ago my girlfriend and I, of over 2 years, broke it off. It started with a fight where we both agreed that we need some space to cool off... then, for her, it turned into space for our relationship. She is questioning our ...
A. 6 June 2010: Nope, you shouldn't do a thing now. She wants out. Fine. Bow out quietly and retain your dignity. There are others out there. It sounded like she wanted to end it anyway, and the break was her way out. Time to move on. ... (read in full...)
Mistreated by husband but haven't the strength to leave
Q. Can anyone help? I've been with my husband for 12 years, but for the last 5 years, I've been unhappy at home! He constantly critisises and belittles me, both at home and in front of friends, family and strangers! 3 years ago, during an extrem...
A. 6 June 2010: Sure you have the strength. You'd be surprised at how much strength you have. It's a matter of belief. You came here and asked about it, which took strength. So if you plan your way out of your marriage carefully, you'll be able to leave. The best ... (read in full...)
He is unemployed and steals my money. Do I stay?
Q. should i still stay with him hi all heres the thing I've given my bf chances, well I think too many chances but i have given him chances to prove to me that he wants to be with me . see hes not working and hasnt been for the 2 and half years...
A. 6 June 2010: Leave. That's all I have to say. ... (read in full...)
I'm tired all the time! What's going on?
Q. i don't sleep well at night..i take sleeping pills at times and still don't get a good night sleep. I don't ever sleep a 5-6 hours straight without waking up. After work i am just happy to come home and take a nap. Naps are where i get my best ...
A. 6 June 2010: Either you are under a huge amount of stress, or there is something medically wrong, in which case you need to speak to a doctor. I think you should see a doctor. ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating on me with his crazy ex?
Q. Ok, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months now and we are pretty serious. Now before me and him started dating we talked for a year (as friends) and for a few weeks out of that year he was dating someone else but he left her cause ...
A. 6 June 2010: Well he did say that he'd blocked her. And though I never think that having passwords and sharing facebook pages and such is a good idea, I think this has highlighted a problem. Talk to him calmly about it. You don't know that he's cheated. All you ... (read in full...)
I'm a 28yr old male and sex is painful for me..
Q. hi guys, i am a 28 year old male who was married for several years (seperated last year) and so i've only had a few sexual partners. I am NOT circumsized and basically, sex for me can be very painful because as soon as my foreskin rolls back, ...
A. 6 June 2010: You need to go to the doctor and get yourself checked. You could have an infection or something.... (read in full...)
Why does he keep making plans and then breaking them?
Q. Hello, I would really appreciate some help, particularly from a man's perspective. I have been seeing a guy at work and we have been getting on well until recently. I have noticed that he has become distant - he used to be the one who would em...
A. 6 June 2010: Leave him. When a man is always cancelling, or is always late, then he's not worth your time. Let this one go, and find a better guy. ... (read in full...)
The friend ultimatum: she either leaves her abusive boyfriend or I cut her out of my life!
Q. This might get kind of long, so sorry in advance, but I don't know where else to turn. My best friend is dating a guy that all of her friends absolutely HATE. I know that sounds harsh, but she is unhappy 95% of the time. He's controlling and will ...
A. 6 June 2010: I'm afraid I agree that you need to cut her out. There is nothing on earth that could change her way of thinking. And if he's dragging you into it, then you have your excuse. Just tell her that he has given out your number and that since he's ... (read in full...)
We were going to see a burlesque show together. Now he wants to go with a girl from his past!!
Q. i found this great burlesque show to go to, it was mid week and couldnt do it ,found out there were other shows on so thought we could do it on a sat night -better,we did talk about it.i get a call from my boyfriend,he tells me he has asked a ...
A. 6 June 2010: No, I'd be mad. This was your idea, for you and your boyfriend. Not a third party, and certainly not an old female school friend. ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always cheat on me?
Q. Im 18 and i have a baby girl....guys tell my im sexy all the time im always faithful in my relationships but its like no matter what i always get cheated on why is that?...
A. 6 June 2010: It's your choice in men. You're picking the wrong men, so look at the type of men that you're choosing, because they're wrong.... (read in full...)
I was the one fighting for "us". After the break up she keeps me hanging with mixed messages. What to do?
Q. Hey everyone, Feeling a little out of sorts and looking for some guidence. I met my ex on a blind date some two years ago and we clicked. Due to bad living conditions with her room mate and a safty concern she moved into my house after 2-3 months...
A. 6 June 2010: She's playing with you. You don't need a woman like this in your life. Just get rid of her.... (read in full...)
He wants meaningless sex with other women but to keep our relationship
Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex with other women. we have been together over 2 years, and i know he loves me. We have a great relationship. We are both open and honest and loving towards each other. Yet he honestly spoke with me about how he wants ...
A. 6 June 2010: So he wants to use you and use other women. Charming guy. Dump him. He's clearly not committed in any way. He can't just sleep around and please himself while you sit there twiddling your thumbs. Move on from him, now. ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's lying about being over his ex?
Q. Is this the behavior of someone who is over their ex? *her photo and cell phone number in his phone *both of them have each other listed as friends on facebook (however, i have no idea if they have contacted each other this way or keep tabs on...
A. 6 June 2010: There's just too little evidence to suggest that anything is happening. Him being friends with her and having her on his phone proves nothing. However, if they have no contact, then you could suggest to him that you feel like it's time he moved on ... (read in full...)
Not planning on cheating, but does this guy like me?
Q. Sorry if this is too long!! I have a boyfriend and I'm perfectly happy, but me and my friend were walking around the mall and we saw this REALLY hot guy sitting at a table alone who looked bored. So I walked up to him and sat down with him and we ...
A. 6 June 2010: Yes he does. But I do remain suspicious of your motives... ... (read in full...)
Why is he doing this when it's over?
Q. My ex and I broke up a few months ago. He pretty much broke up with me, though both of us were feeling like something was lacking in the relationship at that point. We agreed to be friends but to give each other some time before going ahead with...
A. 6 June 2010: You're not looking at this the right way. You're listening to his words too much, and you're not putting enough emphasis on his action. His words say that he still wants you, his actions show he doesn't (he would be making a lot more effort). That ... (read in full...)
I told him to leave me alone, so why is he doing this?
Q. here it goes.. about a month ago i told the guy i really like to leave me alone and that i'm done with him. Why? because he was all over his ex and still trying to hang out and kiss me.. all that good stuff. his friend put him on the phone and as ...
A. 6 June 2010: Well now he realizes that he made a mistake. But DON'T fall for it all again. Cutting this guy out was the best thing you could have done. He is a grade A moron. He has no idea about how to impress a woman, instead thinking that by making you ... (read in full...)
Do I have any chances of getting back with him?
Q. Hello. My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me less than a week ago. And the worst part is that in 10 days I have my final exams and it's affecting me greatly, but I'll explain why we broke up. We argued a lot, over the stupidest things. It wa...
A. 6 June 2010: That shows how little he cares. And the chopstick thing kind of shows how immature and uncaring he really is. This guy isn't worth it at all.... (read in full...)
We broke up! What is a good way to win her back?
Q. ok, so im 14 and i really like this girl and we were dating for a while but then she broke up with me with out telling me why. so i just want to ask without all the crying begging and whining. what is the easiest way to win her back?...
A. 5 June 2010: You won't. She never gave you an explanation, so the problem can't be solved. Keep your dignity and let her go. You don't want to look like a desperate ex, and the reason that she did't tell you what was wrong was because she doesn't want it to be ... (read in full...)
Do I have any chances of getting back with him?
Q. Hello. My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me less than a week ago. And the worst part is that in 10 days I have my final exams and it's affecting me greatly, but I'll explain why we broke up. We argued a lot, over the stupidest things. It wa...
A. 5 June 2010: There are too many red flags, and I know you want it to work out, but the thing here is that he is a commitment phobe. He's said neither of you match, and that he's scared of commitment. He's pretty intolerant and seems to have been expecting too ... (read in full...)
The condom broke -- could I be pregnant?!!!
Q. hi im am 15 and well me and my boyfriend had sex yesterday on june the 4th and well today is the 5th, and well the condom tore:/ and the condom tore and he didnt know soo he came in me and im scared i might be pregnant? i was on the last day of my ...
A. 5 June 2010: Get the morning after pill. Immediately. ... (read in full...)
Why is she so negative?
Q. I split from a girl over two years ago I found out she was seeing someone else where we worked. A year ago I got promotion with the same business, I could of stayed at the same location, but my choice was to leave. When I left I told her I loved her ...
A. 5 June 2010: She's been hurt. She knew she screwed up and it hasn't worked out, and it's hurt her. Badly. But it's not your problem. Really it's not. Just remember this woman treated you badly as well. I wouldn't dwell upon her at all. ... (read in full...)
Why is she like this?
Q. I just graduated college and I live with my brother. He's 5 years older than me. He's been dating this girl for 6 months. I would categorize her as obessive. She is always over, she is the most annoying person I have ever met. Her very being makes ...
A. 5 June 2010: You are right that it's best to stay out of it. It's your brother's mess, and I know you care for him but he needs to screw up by himself. You'll find that she's very insecure, and any threat towards he little world is something she can't handle. ... (read in full...)
Wondering if I could get a second opinion?
Q. I was wondering if i could get a second opinion on a situation that has just happened to me. I told my boyfriend i was upset that he was staring at a girl and asked him to stop. He got very angry at me saying that he had not. I remained calm and...
A. 5 June 2010: Ah. I think I found the problem in your last sentence. You've been abused by an ex boyfriend for ten years. That's a long time. And I think rather than come to terms with what has happened and spend time alone building your confidence up, you've ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my cannabis smoking boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend has smoked cannabis for some time now, and although he has not changed his habits, his attitude towards it has got much worse. He told me only a few months ago that if I asked him to stop he would stop, but recently I have got more ...
A. 5 June 2010: I'll give you a very good reason to dump him, other than just the fact that he's on drugs. Cannabis can affect sperm and make it lethargic and crappy. Basically, if you want kids it will be about ten times as hard to conceive with this man. That's a ... (read in full...)
Do I take this job or not?
Q. I'd like some advice. I'm wondering if i should go for this interview for receptionist job at a backpacker hostel in London, and take the job if they offer it to me? I'll write the pros and the cons down here, and that might help. Pros - I am i...
A. 5 June 2010: I'm an advocate of taking risks at the right time. The reason is that I didn't at first and it got me nowhere. I'm trying to put that right though, and in taking risks I've got closer to my dream.
All those cons exist, yes. But if you don't do what... (read in full...)
Says he wants me back but won't leave her
Q. {Moderator note: edited for punctuation and such} Me and my husband seperated in January of this year cause of somehthing i supposly done but havent. But he was telling me he wanted to get back together that he missed me and our kids. So well i f...
A. 5 June 2010: This is over. End it now. Don't be a doormat to a man who wants it all. ... (read in full...)
I can't understand why I am still single!
Q. I just cant understand how im still single, I really cant! Im a nice looking girl.slim ive got blonde hair. Ive got a really nice nature, Ive got a 5 yr old daughter, I dont smoke, do drugs. Go out getting smashed having one night stands. Ive never ...
A. 5 June 2010: You're obviously a lovely lady who works hard and is pretty. The problem is you're coming across as a bit desperate and very underconfident in yourself. That's something that men find uncomfortable. As you've found living with an abusive man, the ... (read in full...)
Why is she hosting a party if shes asking us to bring all the food?
Q. Morning all! I don't have a love question but I'm just intrigued to get your opinions on my question. A colleague of mine emailed us all on thursday inviting us to a barbeque at her dads house today. In the email she asked if we can bring ...
A. 5 June 2010: Good question. Basically, she's using you to get all the stuff. A bit cheeky, I have to say. Whether you go is up to you. ... (read in full...)
My last attempt for this love.
Q. This is a long post but my question is how do you start trusting a compulsive liar? My ex and I were together for a year and a half and 9 months of that she was pregnant with my son. I was supporting all of us so we didn't have a lot of time and ...
A. 5 June 2010: Why, why, why. What are you doing!? This IS who she is. A LIAR and A CHEAT. No way will this work out. She's only going to lie and continue to cheat. You're not crazy, but if you think this will work out, you're misguided. You have a child together, ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my husband and don't know who is the father of my daughter!
Q. Hi, please someone help me!!! I've been married for 4 years now and been with my husband for 10 years. We have a 2 year old son and now a 3 week old daughter. The problem is, I'm not sure if ou daughter is my husbands baby?? I had cheated on my ...
A. 3 June 2010: A paternity test is the only answer. Don't try risking lying. It's become easier to check up on things like that, and it will become more and more obvious as the child gets older. Especially if she happens to fall ill or something. You need to know, ... (read in full...)
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