| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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We were both tipsy and we ended up having sex!
Q. Hi! I'm in love with this beautiful lady and she loves me too but she is scared I might hurt her. I've been pursuing her for the past 4 months but she has been playing hard to get. She invited me to a concert on the weekend with her friends...
A. 9 June 2010: I'm sorry she's so shabby. Best to move on. You're making the right decision here. ... (read in full...)
We were both tipsy and we ended up having sex!
Q. Hi! I'm in love with this beautiful lady and she loves me too but she is scared I might hurt her. I've been pursuing her for the past 4 months but she has been playing hard to get. She invited me to a concert on the weekend with her friends...
A. 4 June 2010: I knew it! I knew there was something up with her. I thought about your question again when I'd answered it and realized that she might be feeling guilty about something or other. And I was right you. She was feeling guilty about cheating, and ... (read in full...)
Where did it go wrong and will she ever love me again?
Q. My partner and I lived very happily together for five months, and you could not have met a better match. We balled and played and we’re so deeply in love. Our home was too expensive to run, so we decided to move to a cheaper place in the country....
A. 3 June 2010: Its illegal for her to keep your stuff. Don't let her keep it. ... (read in full...)
We were both tipsy and we ended up having sex!
Q. Hi! I'm in love with this beautiful lady and she loves me too but she is scared I might hurt her. I've been pursuing her for the past 4 months but she has been playing hard to get. She invited me to a concert on the weekend with her friends...
A. 1 June 2010: You now know all you need to know about her. She and you had sex, you were both tipsy. Now she regrets it, and rather than accept her share, she's blaming you. Nice try on her behalf, but not acceptable. She's as much responsible as you are. And ... (read in full...)
How can we spend more quality time together alone?
Q. My fiance' works 7 days a week, owns his own business, has 3 children (2 at home). My only child is out on his own. Problem is, fiance' can't seem to make time for me. He's either at work, on phone with work, or on computer watching work. Then ...
A. 1 June 2010: I don't think he will make time. My current girlfriend spent ages trying to pry her husband away from work. In the end, she had to leave him. Your husband is too into his work, and his kids will come before you as well. I'm afraid when it comes down ... (read in full...)
How do I get my ex-boyfriend back?
Q. ok I was just wondering me and my ex boyfriend broke up after a week of dating because everyone caused a lot of drama but he came over 2 nights ago to help me with my math home work it got done at 11 30 than he stayed and sat with me talking about ...
A. 1 June 2010: If you broke up after a week because of other people, then I would question as to whether you are ready for a relationship. You must not play with this guy's feelings. Think very carefully. If you do want him back, then tell him that you want him ... (read in full...)
I feel tired of trying so hard and getting nothing in return.
Q. Hey, so I've been married for about 9 months Im 27 years old and my husband is 28, my husband and I rarely have sex, I'm lucky if it happens 2 a month. We dated for many years (11) and our sex life was great and as soon as we got married it all ...
A. 1 June 2010: It's time for you to kick some ass. Sometimes, men get lazy and need a jolt to kick them into gear again. Maybe he's stressed, tired, whatever. But you need to tell him straight that you are now questioning the relationship because he just doesn't ... (read in full...)
Getting married in a few months but can't get my ex and the sex we had out of my head.
Q. Loved sex with ex girlfriend but am getting married in a few months. Have seen ex gf who I was suppose to marry. When I have seen her I think of the best sex I have had. Love future wife and sex just not match in terms of orgasmic frequen...
A. 1 June 2010: Do you really want to risk a decent marriage for the sake of sex with an ex? You're walking into a mess. Stay with the decent women who is not an ex. ... (read in full...)
My boyrfriend has addictions to drugs and harming people and animals
Q. Hey guys, I have a problem that I'm coping with and I would appreciate it if you could help! Recently I hooked up with a boy from my team sport. He's fifteen, I'm sixteen, despite the age on my account. Anyway, I'm really into him and he's extremel...
A. 1 June 2010: Sweetie, he's a psychopath. End it, before you end up like one of the animals he kills. There is no changing him. There is no making him better. And you don't want to end up dead, which is a serious possibility with a man like this. ... (read in full...)
I am jealous of his ex
Q. I know my partner loves me and he is always saying how he can't wait to marry me BUT there is something in my mind that makes me feel 2nd best to his ex. When they split we were just friends and it got nasty between them, one night he found o...
A. 1 June 2010: Not crazy. But carry on this way and you will be. He's with you because he loves you. So what if she's a size 8-10. They still broke up. So what if she's different? Of course she is. Why would he want another one like her? He wouldn't. That would be ... (read in full...)
Where did it go wrong and will she ever love me again?
Q. My partner and I lived very happily together for five months, and you could not have met a better match. We balled and played and we’re so deeply in love. Our home was too expensive to run, so we decided to move to a cheaper place in the country....
A. 1 June 2010: If you look at a lot of other posts like your own on this site, you'll see that there are a lot of people who just can't handle the whole idea of an 'ex'. Especially an ex who is living in a house kept by a man. Your girlfriend clearly couldn't ... (read in full...)
Is the man I am sleeping with really into me or not?
Q. I'm trying to get some insight into whether the man I'm sleeping with is really into me or not. Here's a little background. 1. He is my boss. He is the mgr of an upscale gentlemen's club and I am a dancer. 2. We've been living in the same house f...
A. 1 June 2010: I'm pretty sure you're being used. ... (read in full...)
It seems like my ex hates me, but then he insists he wants to be friends!
Q. My ex and I started talking again and agreed that we both would like to be friends. The thing is I started realising that even though he brought up the friends thing it didnt really seem like he was trying to be my friend. He never asked how I was ...
A. 1 June 2010: You're becoming the doormat. Move on now.... (read in full...)
Ex may have non-consentual indecent photos of me.
Q. Hi. My problem is this. I was with my ex for 7 years. Last April he left to be with someone else. Now he wants me to sell the house to give him money. Things have gotten a bit nasty but the other day he e-mailed me to say he had 'found' his old ...
A. 1 June 2010: Very simple. This is blackmail. Keep everything he sends you, and go to the police. Then he will be taken in and placed right back on the list. Don't be blackmailed. ... (read in full...)
Bumped into my ex and he said he'd wished we didn't split up... oh noooooooo why did he say that???
Q. I'm 26 years old and I have a 2 month old baby with someone I no longer have feelings for. We are both there for our baby but our relationship has become so bad that I cant talk to him without feeling angry or frustrated. Basically, alot happened ...
A. 1 June 2010: Go back to your current boyfriend and tell him that you need counselling. To be 100% sure that you are right to leave, you need to put 100% into trying to fix it first. Get all your feelings out and try to fix it. If it can't be fixed, leave and ... (read in full...)
She tells me she loves me then sleeps with another guy the following night!!!
Q. I was in a relationship with this girl for about 10 months, we worked on a resort together. After the season was over she went to another resort for 6 months that was 3000 miles away. I did not go with her because of some family reasons. But we ...
A. 1 June 2010: End it. You fooled around and you're paying the price. She's out to hurt you and do her own thing. When couples act like this, it's time to end it. You have each behaved badly, but she has now gone and undone it again. No one should take revenge for ... (read in full...)
Setting the scenario for a break up???
Q. So, this is my second time posting. Last time i said i wanted to break up with my boyfriend and that i found an apartment that is ready to be moved into. Everyone thought i was being scared and didn't want to break up with my boyfriend. But, I'm not ...
A. 1 June 2010: Why no in the living room? Breaking up isn't about location. It's about doing it. It doesn't matter where you are, he will be hurt, and so will you. However, you could just take him out to a cafe or anywhere like that and tell him it's over. But ... (read in full...)
She's emotionally unavailable and it's killing me...
Q. Can anyone tell me how to handle a woman who is emotionally unavailable? I love her but she now just wants to be friends......
A. 1 June 2010: Don't even try. If she's not there, she's just not there and it's best for you to move on. Don't waste time chasing after someone who's just not there.... (read in full...)
Is it possible for me to get a council flat?
Q. hi im 18. im 3 months, i still live at home in my 2 bedroom council house with my mum, dad and sister, me and my sister share a room... i have been bidding to get a flat but it has took ages, it looks like im not going to get anywhere with it, i ...
A. 1 June 2010: Go to this site.
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
Find out where your nearest office is and make an appointment. They offer free advice and will be able to assist you. Also speak to the council as well. They can help.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells me he is too busy! Is he losing interest?
Q. What does it mean when your boyfriend tells you that they will be very busy (work) for the next month or more? They mean it in the way that you probably wouldn't see them. Mine did. I have barely seen him for the last month, sex once in the last...
A. 1 June 2010: A man in loves makes an effort, even if he has work. That's what men do. I'm afraid if does sound like he's losing interest. I'd give him a certain amount of time and if nothing's changed, end it. ... (read in full...)
This guy has got me thinking I am crazy! What should I do?
Q. I dont know how to explain this but I'll try. Theres this guy I'll call Tom, that I like, and he likes/liked me. This all started less than 2 months ago. We got on well. I think it all went down hill when he saw this other guy Bob kiss me out ...
A. 1 June 2010: You're not mad or anything. Most online tests are inaccurate. If you think you have a problem, then do go to a psychologist. But you don't seem crazy or anything.
The issue is that he saw you and Bob kissing, and he thinks you fancy this other guy ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's wandering eyes are making me wonder if he will ever cheat on me!
Q. me and my partner have been together for a year, we love each other lots and he has now moved in with me so hes closer to me, he treats me good and tells me he loves me all the time, we also have a baby on the way. i may be reading into this but the ...
A. 1 June 2010: You will never stop a man looking at another woman. Just as there will be times where you will find yourself looking at a good looking man. The reason isn't that he doesn't love you and will cheat. The reason is that it is an in-built reflex that ... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend behaving like this? Is it just exam stress?
Q. My Girlfriend and I are in the middle of our exams, i have about 6 left and she has a few more, however a while ago she just suddenly seemed to be off with me and when i asked what was wrong she just said; "i dont know whats happining to be honest" ...
A. 1 June 2010: I think it's best to give her some space at this time. You are right, that it could be the stress of exams. But often when schooling comes to and end, people re-evaluate their lives. She may just want to live for herself and is not sure about what ... (read in full...)
Please help - In love with two amazing men.
Q. I need help. Desperately. I am in love with two men. Two amazing men. They are both kind, loving, caring, funny, gorgeous and the problem is, they both love me. They both have asked me to marry them in fact. Now to an average person this would sound ...
A. 1 June 2010: If you can't choose, end it with both. When the mind and the heart can't make a choice, it means neither decision/person is right and it's time to end it, step back and focus on your own life. Neither man is right for you, and that's why you can't ... (read in full...)
What is wrong with my boyfriend? I am so confused! Please Help!
Q. I am hurting really bad right now and I'm really confused. My boyfriend and me have been dating for four months, and whenever we do not get to hangout we text all day straight , well i am on vacation right now and i asked my bf if we could not text ...
A. 1 June 2010: He's too immature to cope with a relationship at this time. End it with him. I know you care about him, but if he can't commit to you while you're just away on a holiday, there is no way he will ever commit properly. I don't ever really think breaks ... (read in full...)
Where do Broken Hearts Go?
Q. I was with my boyfriend off and on for 2 years I was pregnant back in june but I miscarried in September of 2009. We had problems for the whole two years he never really wanted a relationship but I did, I guess after browbeating him so much he ...
A. 1 June 2010: I know this is awful, and at a time like this I really feel bad for you. And this won't get easier until you accept there was never anything between you that was of substance. He was never committed in the first place, and was seeing another woman ... (read in full...)
How do I make him understand I don't like what he is doing?
Q. My boyfriend and I dated for 3 years... he recently started to care... after 3 years! And now he thinks ive become the bad person. I mean no one is perfect, I know ive made mistakes, but hes cheated on me 3 times. And before he spoke to girls like ...
A. 1 June 2010: Hell yes move on. He's cheated three times. THREE TIMES. If that's not a good enough reason, then here are others. He spends all his time talking to girls claiming they're family. He has turned this around and now claims you're the bad one. You ... (read in full...)
I miss him so much but he wont answer my calls! What should I do?
Q. he doesnt want to answer any of my calls and he doesnt respond to any of my emails.... i know i sound crazy right now but i miss him so much. my life feels so boring with out him. everything reminds me of him. what should i do? how should i forget. ...
A. 1 June 2010: I don't think you are going to get back together. He's cut contact, and that's a sign that this is over. You have to get out there and focus on your own life now. If your life is boring without him, then you need to focus on your own life. A ... (read in full...)
What do you make of this conversation between my ex and I?
Q. what do you guys think of this conversation me and my ex had... mind you we've only been broken up for a week May 26 at 7:43pm me: why are you making yourself sound like i didnt give a s**t about you. your such a lame. i BEGGED ON MY KN...
A. 1 June 2010: More to the point, why on earth are you still in contact!! This is a mess. End contact now and move on. This is just a mess that won't be fixed. Just cut him out. ... (read in full...)
I've noticed the way the boss is looking at me
Q. I had a meeting with my boss and he kept looking at my breast and was intentionally trying to keep me there for longer than necessary. I have noticed the way he looks at me and is trying to help me in my career. I am trying to work out how to ...
A. 1 June 2010: Is he married? Are you married? If not, then tread carefully and see where it leads. If either of you are married, then it's about nothing but sex and you could lose so much more than you have to gain. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried because he's talking to this other girl
Q. So i been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years an things have been pretty good. The first 3 years since he tended to break up with me for some other girls. Only because his parents didnt have a good relationship an it freaked him out whenever it ...
A. 1 June 2010: Why, why, why do women torture themselves with men who aren't good enough. All he did in the first 3 years was break up and go with other girls. And all you did was take him back. It's time to see this guy for what he is. An immature user of women. ... (read in full...)
He cheated and lied, where do I go from here?
Q. I recently snooped through my fiancés phone and found an email from the end of April from a girl he used to date. It was clear they had been sleeping together and he asked her to email him some sexy pictures. I freaked and confronted him and he said ...
A. 1 June 2010: Just end it now. You'll either end up being cheated on again, or your snooping will make you paranoid. Why bother. This is clearly over.... (read in full...)
I am in love with someone but the problem is that I had a relationship with his best friend.
Q. I am in love with someone but the problem is that I had a relationship with his best friend. I know it was wrong but the guy I had a relationship with is married. It just happened bu now it's over. Now I have feelings for his best friend and we had ...
A. 1 June 2010: End it. He's not interested, as you say, and you'll only end up in the middle of a mess here. Do yourself the best possible new turn you can and meet a new guy further away, who is single. ... (read in full...)
Is it true blowjobs taste awful?
Q. My gf wont give me one because she says they taste awful, but could it just be because of the guy she was with before? She said he had hygiene issues so I was wondering if that could be it. Is there anything that could make it less disgusting if ...
A. 1 June 2010: I suspect she's had a very bad experience with him and it's put her off. From a male point if view, I can tell you this. It's not the end of the world if she doesn't do it. Make sex better, use hands elsewhere, and you won't even notice. My ... (read in full...)
Why did he do this when he knew I wanted to wait?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for a while and we're teens he's 17 i'm 16, and well we was messing around the other day, and we was grinding on each other naked (i'm waiting on sex till' i'm ready) and well we do that just to make us both ...
A. 1 June 2010: No, I'm not. I didn't at any point say accept it. Not once. Check my posts for the word 'accept'. It's not there, and nor is anything that says she should or shouldn't report it. But this is one of those very dangerous areas because it could ... (read in full...)
Why does the man you love need to be so controlling?
Q. My question is why does the man you love need to be so controlling? I was married to him for 29 years. He left me for a younger woman then she died and he came back into my life. I am in her house with him but he wont let me bring my home things ...
A. 1 June 2010: I think you're with the wrong man. I think you need to dump him. Most men aren't like that at all. You're being used. ... (read in full...)
Why did he do this when he knew I wanted to wait?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for a while and we're teens he's 17 i'm 16, and well we was messing around the other day, and we was grinding on each other naked (i'm waiting on sex till' i'm ready) and well we do that just to make us both ...
A. 1 June 2010: MarieClaire, if you know the law, you will know for sure that no way in hell will a court convict on this. You'll know it. Surely? This is why rape is so hard to prove. Yes, he is scum, we all know it. That's the point here. But what are the lawyers ... (read in full...)
Input needed here! What can I do to make him trust me again?
Q. Okay so the boy i lost my virginity to is acting kind of different now. First he says, that the sex wasnt good and now he has a girl. He hates me for lying to him(which iDidnt) He doesnt believe i Was a virgin. And he tells me all the time that he ...
A. 1 June 2010: Trust YOU! Stop chasing him. He's used you. You're the one who can't trust him. Just stop with him now, he's used you. ... (read in full...)
What is he thinking in his mind??? I'm so confused!
Q. i was seeing a guy for 5 months, he text me every day from his holiday he and every day morning and night whilst he was away he decided to tell me he had fallen in love with me and when i asked why he said he felt something was missing and that was ...
A. 1 June 2010: Are you sure he's single? Sounds very suspicious to me. ... (read in full...)
He's given me an STD, how do I talk to him about it?
Q. I found out that my boyfriend has given me an STD and I'm so upset but i would like to talk about. I cheated once and he took me back, but i have no idea of how to start this conversation....
A. 1 June 2010: Don't waste time with it. Sit him down and say that you got tested and he has given you an STD (and I hope it was he who gave it to you, and not the other way around because you cheated). He needs to know now so he can get tested and treated. Don't ... (read in full...)
I need advice regarding an overbearing mother!
Q. It's a bit like daja vu! I was on here just over a year ago with exactly the question!! My boyfriend and I split up because his mother didnt like our relationship, but we worked through that issue and became close again but it was in 'secret'. ...
A. 1 June 2010: I'm sorry, but if a man can't stand up to his mother when he's 27, he never will. You need to move on now, or you'll end up wasting your life with this man. Take it from a man that you can't change him or make him grow up. Please stop wasting time ... (read in full...)
My husband is wearing me down soooo much... help!
Q. See I've been married two years and my husband tells me I'm a dog that should be put down, or I should drown in a tub, awful wife. We fight a lot and maybe that's my fault but I wouldn't fight with him if he wouldn't back me in a corner. How so he ...
A. 1 June 2010: I think your depression has led you to make bad judgements about this man. I think your depression has also affected your self esteem to the point where this man is now walking over you and putting you down because he has control. That can change ... (read in full...)
Am I not good enough?
Q. Heyy Peoples! Recently i started dating one of my childhood friends and everything is going great! I'm so happy! We both gave eachother our bebo passwords. One day i decided to check his private mail. I probly shouldnt have invaded his privacy...
A. 1 June 2010: This is the price of snooping. You find something you don't like that might have no meaning at all, and then suddenly all hell breaks loose. Yes, you are enough for him. He just said she was hot. He probably said it out of friendliness. So tell him ... (read in full...)
Seems he's far away enough from me to cheat on me...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 years now.. we have been in a long distance relationship.. he is in med school and i am back here in the US.. i feel now that he is far away he may cheat on me.. is it possible or am i just being paranoid..?...
A. 1 June 2010: Sure he is. But then you're far away enough to cheat as well. See my point? At this time, you have no reason to suspect anything, so you're being paranoid. Keep your trust in him, or you'll lose him.... (read in full...)
Why did he do this when he knew I wanted to wait?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for a while and we're teens he's 17 i'm 16, and well we was messing around the other day, and we was grinding on each other naked (i'm waiting on sex till' i'm ready) and well we do that just to make us both ...
A. 1 June 2010: You won't like me saying this, and I will understand women getting at me for this if they think he should have waited. Yes he should have. But no disrespect, you are asking for trouble if you are lying there naked allowing him to grind against you. ... (read in full...)
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