| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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We were both tipsy and we ended up having sex!
Q. Hi! I'm in love with this beautiful lady and she loves me too but she is scared I might hurt her. I've been pursuing her for the past 4 months but she has been playing hard to get. She invited me to a concert on the weekend with her friends...
A. 9 June 2010: I'm sorry she's so shabby. Best to move on. You're making the right decision here. ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my husband and don't know who is the father of my daughter!
Q. Hi, please someone help me!!! I've been married for 4 years now and been with my husband for 10 years. We have a 2 year old son and now a 3 week old daughter. The problem is, I'm not sure if ou daughter is my husbands baby?? I had cheated on my ...
A. 6 June 2010: If he is sterile, then it is very unlikely. But there is always a chance. ... (read in full...)
My last attempt for this love.
Q. This is a long post but my question is how do you start trusting a compulsive liar? My ex and I were together for a year and a half and 9 months of that she was pregnant with my son. I was supporting all of us so we didn't have a lot of time and ...
A. 5 June 2010: Why, why, why. What are you doing!? This IS who she is. A LIAR and A CHEAT. No way will this work out. She's only going to lie and continue to cheat. You're not crazy, but if you think this will work out, you're misguided. You have a child together, ... (read in full...)
If my ex boyfriend has really moved on why does he always dodge me?
Q. If my ex boyfriend has really moved on why does he always dodge me...? I was driving yesterday. and noticed a car sort of behind me and then noticed it was my ex with his new gf in the car. He was about to pass me until and get in the turning lane...
A. 5 June 2010: He just finds it awkward. Let him go, and just move on. There's no hidden meaning. He just wants to move on and not have to deal with you. That's it. Just let it all go and move on. ... (read in full...)
Not feeling it with my husband any more; being with my lover makes me feel better
Q. I have been having an affair with a married man .. Im married also. I have been married for 30 years and just dont feel it anymore... This man is 10 years younger then me and says there is no chemistry with him and his wife. We both agree that we ...
A. 5 June 2010: Ah, another married man question. What he's missing is the sex. He knows you're unhappy, so he's using you. And you're allowing it, like all mistresses do. If you're unhappy in your marriage, then stop the affair now and focus on your marriage. ... (read in full...)
My g/f wants to go to a party hosted by her horndog ex
Q. Should I let my girlfriend go to her ex-boyfriend's graduation/house party? First of all, let me start by saying I don't have a problem at all with my girlfriend going to parties or having guy friends. But I'm not so sure i can feel the same ab...
A. 5 June 2010: I agree with C. Grant. You've taken a lot from this girl, to be fair, and she's not listening to your concerns at all. I'd tell her straight that you've put up with her flirting, you've put up with the sexual note, but it's time for her to have some ... (read in full...)
Why did we both have the same dream?
Q. o me and my boyfriend had the same exact dream, we both dreamed that he cheated on me.. why did we both have the same dream about him cheating on me? this isn't the first time ive had a dream about him cheating on me. its the third. ive been with ...
A. 5 June 2010: Because you're both as insecure as each other and he has cheated once before. Work harder as a couple. Also, be aware that if he's cheated on you (which he has), and the others, chances are he will do it again. think carefully about whether you want ... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I cheat; why don't I just do it?
Q. I´ve been married for nine years but together for 16. Since the beginning of our marriage, and because of our personalities we´ve fought often but have remained together (this mostly because before we got married I cheated on him once, and he found...
A. 5 June 2010: Because if you do, he gets to say that he was right while you get to look bad in front of everyone, including you kids of they find out. There are two ways this marriage can go. Either you and he have to go to counselling, or you need to end it. ... (read in full...)
Why do they suddenly stop talking to me?
Q. hi, i'm a teenager and i've had a couple of boyfriends. my first boyfriend was the only one i dont regret. i dont regtret it because the whole becoming a couple was so easy because we were good for one another. but since then its been fellingless...
A. 4 June 2010: I'm afraid that's teen boys for you. No tact, no understanding, no nothing. Young men don't mature as quickly as young women, so whilst you're mature, your teenage boyfriends probably aren't and probably don't understand what the whole dating thing ... (read in full...)
How high of a risk is pulling out?
Q. How high of a risk is it having sex with out a condom but not cuming in her and I wipped it off be for I put it in her ...
A. 4 June 2010: Extremely high. You have pre-cum that leaks out of your penis throughout sex. And it has sperm in it.... (read in full...)
Is it just because he's young?
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy that is 7 years younger than me.I am 27. We have been together a little under a year. When I met him he was machanic and a student. A cpl of months ago he was let go from work and then took a semester off to find ...
A. 4 June 2010: It's not the age. I'm 22, and I run my own company. It's not going well sadly, but the point is that you will meet good guys of all ages, and idiots of all ages who have different ideas about what they want to do. Your boyfriend just wants to waste ... (read in full...)
Is it silly to feel jealous of my mates?
Q. I don't know if I'm just being silly or anything but I am really starting to get jealous of my mates. Don't get me wrong they're great friends and I couldn't imagine my life without them but the fact that they can all go out and hook up with girls ...
A. 4 June 2010: No, it's not. I've never really had much luck with girls either, and there was a time when my friends were all taken and I was the one left alone. But I'm the one dating the best woman now. And I know that for sure. It's not about how many women you ... (read in full...)
My ex asked me to choose between him and my baby's dad
Q. i am 19 years old. i have a little boy. i am not currenly married but i am living with my boyfriend, my babys dad. we have been together for 3 years and i love him.he also has a good job and he supports me and his child. however, an old ex-boyfriend ...
A. 4 June 2010: Simple. You choose the father of your child, the man who has been there for 3 years and who has worked. You don't choose the ex who knows you have a boyfriend, is willing to wreck your family, doesn't have a job and already broke up with you before. ... (read in full...)
We are not married but she thinks she is entitled to half of everything, despite me already giving her a large sum of money!
Q. My girlfriend and I have recently split after a 10 year relationship. We were not married and have no children. Its clearly a very difficult time for both of us, and amongst everything else we are trying to come to some sort of financial settlement. ...
A. 4 June 2010: Check divorce law, and you'll find that most divorces end with the larger earner keeping approximately 60-70%, while the lower earner walks with 30-40% depending on the circumstances.
You have no kids, and you're not married. I actually think you'... (read in full...)
Friends with benfits? Yes or no?
Q. Hey everybody, i was wondering what your opioion on friends with benfits is. I have a male friend to who i am sexually attracted to, he shares these feeling as well. We want to start a friend with benfits type of relationship that includes ...
A. 4 June 2010: My learned female friends on here have all given you great answers. I'll give you a male one. FWB means nothing but sex. There is no commitment, no real care, no closeness, no real emotional connection. Nothing. It's about sex, and that's it. If you ... (read in full...)
As a working mom, do I need a maid?
Q. Dear Moms, I was wondering how you can be a working mom and raise your child on your own without having a house maid or a nanny full time to help you.. Im a soon to-be-mom and hope you can tell me about raising children on your own , as well as ...
A. 4 June 2010: I know I'm a guy, but I think if you can afford a maid to help is a good idea. Everyone needs a break from chores and such, and everyone occasionally needs a break from children. I think as long as you spend quality time with your child and you can ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to keep both his family and his girlfriend, what should I do?
Q. my husband has an affair my daughter discovered her father's affair through his cell phone. my husband felt guilty but he wanted to keep both his family and his gf. he promised me his gf won't be his mistress and that his family is always his...
A. 4 June 2010: I think you're a saint for trying so hard, but your husband is just so appalling that I think you do need to make the choice. You musn't let this man treat you this way. ... (read in full...)
We were both tipsy and we ended up having sex!
Q. Hi! I'm in love with this beautiful lady and she loves me too but she is scared I might hurt her. I've been pursuing her for the past 4 months but she has been playing hard to get. She invited me to a concert on the weekend with her friends...
A. 4 June 2010: I knew it! I knew there was something up with her. I thought about your question again when I'd answered it and realized that she might be feeling guilty about something or other. And I was right you. She was feeling guilty about cheating, and ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend care more about drink than he does me?
Q. My boyfriend's drinking is getting out of hand and we already been thru enough. Well i have. Engaged moved in and now back at mine minus the ring. Had tough time with the fact slept with an ex which is recent. So now this has added to problems. ...
A. 3 June 2010: I think you need to end this mess. According your post, you've been together 6 months, you're engaged, he has drinking problems and to top it off he's already cheated. He won't change, and you really shouldn't be around this man. There are so many ... (read in full...)
I know what we did was wrong, but I cannot control who I love.
Q. I'm hurting so bad, i dont know what to do!!!! I'm married with twins, but my marriage is a disaster and have wanted to get out but just dont know how to go about it. We've been married for 15 years but he has let me down big time. He has bo...
A. 3 June 2010: Girl, he knew you were in pain and used you. You need to let this guy go and get your own life back on track. Get out of your marriage, which is a disaster, and focus on yourself and your child. You've been used. ... (read in full...)
Dating a narcissistic man
Q. I've been dating a narcissistic man and have broke it off he is pursuing a women that is half his age and doesn't want a relationship with him. He still sends me e-mails like It was good to see you, you are like a bar to a recovering alcoholic. I ...
A. 3 June 2010: Just leave him be. This is a man YOU DO NOT want in your life. Ignore him as much as possible. He is still a narcissist who is trying to use you. That's all he ever will be. ... (read in full...)
Too devoted???
Q. My girlfriend says that I am "too devoted". Not exactly sure what that means. What is the best way to behave as a boyfriend?...
A. 3 June 2010: I suspect she means a bit too clingy. Just step back a little, let her do her own thing and you do your own thing too. If it helps, ask her what she means and what you can do to make it better. Then she can tell you. ... (read in full...)
Something is missing in our marriage
Q. Hi Cupid, I have been married for 14 years and past few years have been very stressful and I am not happy in my marriage. It has gone to a point that my husband and me are complete strangers in the house. I went on a trip last week and met a g...
A. 3 June 2010: You need to be wary of your husband at this time. Men all too often take a while to process what has happened. In a few weeks, it might suddenly hit him, so you need to be ready. Now is the time to tell him that you need to both sit down and ... (read in full...)
Husband's online activity frustrates me!
Q. My husband keep getting emails,from his past,, including pictures etc. Sometimes he hides them from me, and not even showing it to share it. I mean past ,like 25 years ago...I got really frustrated,because he delighted the email he got last time, ...
A. 3 June 2010: I don't think you are paranoid. I think he's hiding something. Men aren't good at hiding things, and your husbands actions are screaming of guilt. I think you need to be concerned, but you need to do more digging before you can confront him. Know ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to keep both his family and his girlfriend, what should I do?
Q. my husband has an affair my daughter discovered her father's affair through his cell phone. my husband felt guilty but he wanted to keep both his family and his gf. he promised me his gf won't be his mistress and that his family is always his...
A. 3 June 2010: End it. You're not even settling for second best. You're settling for a cheating man who is due in court, who will be broke, who won't let you have a parter. The list is endless. The man's a maggot. Leave him.... (read in full...)
I cheated on my husband and don't know who is the father of my daughter!
Q. Hi, please someone help me!!! I've been married for 4 years now and been with my husband for 10 years. We have a 2 year old son and now a 3 week old daughter. The problem is, I'm not sure if ou daughter is my husbands baby?? I had cheated on my ...
A. 3 June 2010: A paternity test is the only answer. Don't try risking lying. It's become easier to check up on things like that, and it will become more and more obvious as the child gets older. Especially if she happens to fall ill or something. You need to know, ... (read in full...)
I sent him facebook pokes, but he didn't poke me back! Did he loose interest in me?
Q. Ive liked this guy for a while and , I've wanted to talk to him but I'm extremely shy ( the type of shy that can't be overcome by repeating mantras, Ive been there done that. And there's no difference at all) Well I decided to take baby st...
A. 3 June 2010: He's as confused as you are. He didn't' give up, because he never made a start. And neither did you. You've got to be clear if you want a man's attention. Not too clear, but you need to message him and just say hello or something. Men like the chase ... (read in full...)
I'm married, but now I want to have my fun with strangers. 3 down and counting, should I feel guilty?
Q. Ok here is my situation I have been married with my husband 5 years, I was a virgin when he took me, he had his fun before me. But just recently I started this appetite of having sex with other guys just to try it out. is that normal? should ...
A. 3 June 2010: You should never have got married. That fact you don't feel guilty shows that. And you will never get it out of your system this way either. You need to either stop, or end your marriage and have fun. If you don't, you'll get found out and lose ... (read in full...)
Should I believe him that he will leave his wife for me?
Q. Hi i am divorced and currently dating my first boyfriend. We met a year ago.......he is still married and also says i must give him some time to sort out certain issues then he will file for divorce. He has sorted out some of the issues...now i need ...
A. 3 June 2010: Of course not. You're another mistress who has been conned. He won't leave her. Eve.r He was going to, he would have done it by now. End it and move on, before it comes out and you get a reputation.... (read in full...)
Why won't she tell me her real number of sexual partners if she loves me?
Q. I am involved in my first relationship since divorcing my wife of 20 years. I have been in it for 9 months, and it has been wonderful. However, there was an instance a month into our relationship where I caught her in a bit of a lie and it made me ...
A. 3 June 2010: What if it's 100 men or more. Can you cope? Probably not. There really is no reason for you to know. People who ask that question nearly always end up paranoid after it. It has no bearing at all on how many people she has slept with. The trust ... (read in full...)
Why does a man in a happy committed relationship go for regular one night stands?
Q. my current boyfriend has cheated on his previous gfs. I'm not sure whether he has or will cheat on me. One of his ex refuse to have sex and to blow him due to the believe of keeping her virginity. And he told his friend that another ex is ba...
A. 3 June 2010: Because he's not happy or committed. He has issues. You're treading on dangerous ground with this man.... (read in full...)
Why did he kiss me like this when we are just friends, plus he has a girlfriend!
Q. I recently split up with my longterm boyfriend after a whole heap of problems. We are still friends and spend time together (by time I do mean exactly that i.e. cinema, food out, but nothing more). Whilst we were going through the tough months I ...
A. 3 June 2010: He's trying it on. Be careful, you might end used. Don't be a doormat..... (read in full...)
Does it sound as if there is a chance for us to be together?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for nearly 2 years, he tells me that he wants to be with me and cares very deeply for me. He calls me 3 times a day and texts me too. His marriage is over, there is no sex or intimacy in the relationship, his wife told my ...
A. 3 June 2010: Yet in two years, he's not left his wife. His marriage isn't over until her leaves her and gets a divorce. He hasn't done that, so there is little chance of you being together.... (read in full...)
Sexual urges... should I give in to them?
Q. I am 26 been saving my virginity for the right guy who has yet to make an appearance in my life. Now it's got to a point where I just really want to have sex. I feel like I am missing out on something great. Should I wait or just go for i...
A. 3 June 2010: If you lose it on a one night stand to a man who doesn't care about you at all, you'll regret it. One night stands are more selfish, and don't always play to a woman's advantage since a man will just get what he wants and make a run for it. You're ... (read in full...)
Dating questions from a confused teen.....
Q. I went to the movies with a friend who I have known since Kindergarten (we're in 8th now). I've liked her for a long while but never really told. Feelings were probably mutual for all this time... anyways. The theatre was rather empty, around 10 or ...
A. 3 June 2010: 1 - Yes, there was some flirting.
2 - She's as shy as you are, but was pretty comfortable with it
3 - Perfectly when you like them that much.
4 - She was either busy, or she was shy.
5 - Text her again tomorrow
6 - All you need to to is say hi... (read in full...)
Is it common amongst guys to share their sex stories?
Q. I would like to have opinion on guy who will describe to his friends how he had sex during his one night stands, and also how he first made love with his girlfriend. Is a guy even serious if he describes how he n his girlfriend have sex? Or is ...
A. 3 June 2010: I often find the more a man goes on about his sex life, the less he is actually having. It's common enough, but usually men who actually have respect and such keep discussions to a minimum. The ones who go on about it either have little respect for ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont do anything in bed for me because he says I am too wet!
Q. im really worried because while in bed with my boyfriend i will play about with him by giving him a handjob and i will give him a blowjob and he wont do anything for me i try to drop hints like saying what do i get and he says sex, i spoke to him ...
A. 3 June 2010: To be honest, I'm not sure he's ready for sex at all. He doesn't seem to understand what he's doing, or how a woman works, or anything like that. Maybe he's just shy or something. I think you should just explain that this is how you are, and if he ... (read in full...)
All I've ever done is stand by him but I cant take any more of his behaviour!
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years now, he is a bit controlling if i ever say im going out for a bit he will accuse me of cheating on him, so in the end i end up not going out, it has now come to the stage that i will not feel ...
A. 3 June 2010: PLEASE leave this man. Stop standing by him. He's a loser and effectively a woman beater. End it now. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend abuse me, I took steps to get away but I still miss him so much!
Q. Okay, so I had been living with my boyfriend for about eight months and everything was going great and i moved in with him and his family really took me in considering i wasn't close with my parents they really became my family and everything was ...
A. 3 June 2010: You need to address your esteem and confidence. No woman goes for a violent man unless she feels bas about herself. In no way are you meant to be together. The man is violent and treated you like dirt. There's no love there at all. I think you're ... (read in full...)
Where did it go wrong and will she ever love me again?
Q. My partner and I lived very happily together for five months, and you could not have met a better match. We balled and played and we’re so deeply in love. Our home was too expensive to run, so we decided to move to a cheaper place in the country....
A. 3 June 2010: Its illegal for her to keep your stuff. Don't let her keep it. ... (read in full...)
I want to know what's going on inside his head
Q. I have seemed to have fallen for one of my closet friends. We haven't been friends for long just under two years. We met when i started my current job as we work together and the first time i saw him i was like "wow" he's not the most stunning guy ...
A. 3 June 2010: Have you spoken to him? Men aren't mind readers, and he may not have a clue as to how you feel. Unless you step up and speak to him, you'll never know how he feels. ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if he calls me baby now
Q. does it mean anything if a guy switches from calling me babe to calling me baby? Ive been talking to this guy for a couple of months but neither of us have talked about a relationship. We see each other when we can. At first he started calling me ...
A. 3 June 2010: It pretty much means the same thing. He clearly likes you though, so maybe he's falling for you more.... (read in full...)
I hacked his Facebook and found out that he's cheating! Do I tell my friend?
Q. Right I'm such a bad person i know but i used to like this guy , recently i found out hes being hacking onto my facebook :/ bad so i thought right im gonna do it to him , i got his password off someone and i know this is bad but i was reading his ...
A. 3 June 2010: Well what's done is done. Print the proof and show your friend. She needs to know. But please don't make a habit of snooping, or you'll end up paranoid. But since you now know the truth, it's best to tell her. ... (read in full...)
We were both tipsy and we ended up having sex!
Q. Hi! I'm in love with this beautiful lady and she loves me too but she is scared I might hurt her. I've been pursuing her for the past 4 months but she has been playing hard to get. She invited me to a concert on the weekend with her friends...
A. 1 June 2010: You now know all you need to know about her. She and you had sex, you were both tipsy. Now she regrets it, and rather than accept her share, she's blaming you. Nice try on her behalf, but not acceptable. She's as much responsible as you are. And ... (read in full...)
Where did it go wrong and will she ever love me again?
Q. My partner and I lived very happily together for five months, and you could not have met a better match. We balled and played and we’re so deeply in love. Our home was too expensive to run, so we decided to move to a cheaper place in the country....
A. 1 June 2010: If you look at a lot of other posts like your own on this site, you'll see that there are a lot of people who just can't handle the whole idea of an 'ex'. Especially an ex who is living in a house kept by a man. Your girlfriend clearly couldn't ... (read in full...)
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