A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend wants to have sex with other women. we have been together over 2 years, and i know he loves me. We have a great relationship. We are both open and honest and loving towards each other. Yet he honestly spoke with me about how he wants sex with other women. He says hes afraid he will disappoint me. He tried to make us go on a break..but it didn't happen because i am not a person who will let my man put our relationship on hold for sex with another women. He says the difference between men and women is to men sex is meaningless..it is what it is..but to women its emotional and meaninful. I don't know what i should do, im confused. We had a really meaningful discussion about this, he told me how he loves me and never wants to lose me. He hatess kids and he told me that he wants us to have a child together and get married. were 17..young i know..but we love eachother. its just his want for sex with other women is putting a strain on our relationship. And its something i will not compromise with, if he cheats on me someday ..out of self respect its over..if he keeps wanting a break to have sex with other women..then its also over. I love him so much..and i dont know what i can do.
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male
reader, thedude2020  +, writes (30 October 2011):
I'm in the same rut, but with my girlfriend wanting to have meaningless sex with others and she feels like she is missing out on something else entirely.
I clearly say "NO" it totally violates protocol in terms of "Feels like cheating" I agree, this is some seriously stuff that needs be nipped in the bud.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 October 2010):
 You are honest and open and loving to each other.
So, if he brings up the subject again , tell him honestly ,openly and lovingly to f..k off.
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A
female
reader, anna88  +, writes (16 October 2010):
hey, well just about half hour ago,my boyefriend of almost 5 yrs told me the same thing. we are both 23 btw. he told me that its like a stressful "need" for him to go with other women. we were both virgins wen we met and we have alot of family issues between us such as unapproving parents,on both sides and culturaal differences.he tells me he loves me and im the only women he can see himself spending his life with, but he has this urge to try other women cuz before he met me it was sth he always wanted to do and now he has serious urges to have sex with these attractive women.. he asked if i wud be ok with it since it wud be meaningless 4 him "but says i cant do this cuz women are different". i told him no, i cant ever allow that, so he tells me, even though it will be very difficult for him he promises that he will NEVER act on his feelings. he says that i am a woman and i dont understand how men are but he says i make him happy, he cant live without me, and as long as i stay with him, he will never do anything with any other woman..i am confused and very hurt. i dont know wats right and wrong about this rel'ship. we were always pretty close and im happy 4 his honesty but i dont know wat to do. plz help me someone..im seriously depressed!!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (6 June 2010):
 Charming guy, a real find. You are lucky nobody else picked up this guy who wants to fuck other women (somehow I doubt he will agree that you fuck other men), hates kids but wants to knock you up.
Sometimes when you find a guy that no other girl has taken yet, you got to ask yourself: "why".
He has made it abundantly clear what he wants. What you need to do is a little thing called: "take the bloody hint". Here is a clue-bat (===CLUE=BAT===)-----| Apply directly to forehead.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 June 2010):
So he wants to use you and use other women. Charming guy. Dump him. He's clearly not committed in any way. He can't just sleep around and please himself while you sit there twiddling your thumbs. Move on from him, now.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 June 2010):
 He needs to choose either meaningless sex with other women or stay loyal and in love with you .
He is too young and wants to sow his wild oats first. It is better to let him go because his heart is no more there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): Tell him you will also be having sex with lots of other people while he is doing the same. Just insist to him "don't worry, these other guys are meaningless compared to you."
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (6 June 2010):
 Kiddo, you want an exclusive, monogamous relationship. He wants to sow his oats. There is no middle ground here. This is *not* the guy for you. Cut him out of your life. Let him go screw whoever he wants, but it ain't gonna be you, ever. "It's just his want for sex with other women is putting a strain on our relationship." That's not a 'strain', that's a deal breaker, as long as you have any self-respect.
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A
female
reader, chiggy  +, writes (6 June 2010):
I dont believe it,he should not even think about such a thing! Say no to him and if he cribs then say BYE to him and tell him to stay happy with those girls.come on girl!! Wake Up!! If you would have been on his place would he allow you this? NO he would not! Its really tough i know but you need to be strong!Self respect is the First thing girl!
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (6 June 2010):
 I give him points for honesty at least.
At heart, you have to determine if you are okay with him basically being polyamorous (having many lovers). There are a lot of questions to clear up first. For example, is he going to be sleeping with random women, or one extra woman at a time? Will he have a relationship with this other woman? Will you meet her? Will he have to get approval from you before he sleeps with someone, or is he going to go off on his own?
Do you think you'll be okay with this? If you don't, DON'T DO IT, not even as a tryout. Think things through and take your time to be sure. You might want to google polyamory, and perhaps someone else will have some resources for you.
Good luck.
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