| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Jealous boyfriend won't connect with my son!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and he just doesn't get me at all. I met him through my ex and it was great at 1st. I moved in with him after 5 months and left my home town and my children with their dad as there was access ...
A. 16 June 2010: I think you need to leave before this gets any worse. If there were access issues before, this sort of thing could cause you trouble. You don't need a man like this in your life.... (read in full...)
He wants to keep his female 'friend' in case we break up
Q. bf cheated on me with some online friends by cybering we are 18 and know each other in RL. At the time we were going through some fights and i have been mean to him in alot of ways the past months(i wasn't always like this)and pushed him over the...
A. 16 June 2010: I would STRONGLY urge you to leave him. Rather than sort the relationship out, he cheated. Unless he cuts contact with her, you need to go because he will do it again. ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend pregnant?
Q. me and my girlfriends had sex about two weeks ago and ever since she hasnt being feeling good and she has been stressing out. i worn a condom and i did cum in the condom but as soon as i did i pulled out nad check it. there werent any hole or tears ...
A. 16 June 2010: Get a pregnancy test. That's the best way. Or see a doctor. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to meet this man?
Q. I feel like a bit of an idiot saying this out loud but please someone help me. I've been with my partner for 4 years. We recently migrated with his job. He works away all the time and I am struggling to get work. So i am alone, no work or frien...
A. 16 June 2010: You're having an emotional affair, and I think unless you stop now, very shortly you'll be having a physical one as well. You're feeling lonely, you're feeling lost and it has to be said that I do understand why. But you need to stop this now and ... (read in full...)
Unable to orgasm, help!
Q. hi im 57 male and havnt had sex in the last 4 weeks.i and my female partner have been on holiday in u/k for last 2 weeks and 3 times we have had sex and my partner came and i havnt.i am always up for it but it seems once my partner cums i seem to ...
A. 16 June 2010: It's likely to be a mixture of age and stress. The good news is that it can be solved, but I think it's best if you go to a doctor. That way illness and such can be ruled out. It could be that because it happened once, you're worrying about in your ... (read in full...)
Gaining complete closure?
Q. Hey, I've had very strong genuine feelings for my teacher for almost 2 years now. I have never told him or given any indication that I do have feelings for him. I've acted like a normal student around him, merely showing him respect and frie...
A. 15 June 2010: No way look for closure. You could get him sacked an taint your record, which would cause you trouble getting a job. Sorry, but you have to let him go. ... (read in full...)
I like my guy's older brother! How do I find out if he feels the same?
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for about four months now and we are very happy, however he has a much older brother (14 years older in fact) and i've developed a crush on him. We harmlessly flirt but i want to know if he likes me too, how do i find ...
A. 15 June 2010: You don't find out. You end it with your boyfriend and move on. Or you'll ruin a family and have a bad reputation. ... (read in full...)
My ex still wants to be with me but also wants to be friends with one of the guys she had sex with!
Q. Me and my girlfriend were together for 2 years with no major problems and they were the best two years of my life. We broke up about two months ago because she had a lot going on in her life (fire school, preparing for college, etc.) Even though we ...
A. 15 June 2010: Let this one go, trust me on that. She's not got a clue what she wants at all and is in no way ready for a relationship. The best thing you can do is not bother with her. Don't go back to a girl like her who has so much going on. She claims she was ... (read in full...)
I feel like my husband doesn't love me!
Q. Ok well my husband is a wonderful man who I love so very much and he claims to love me but actions are so much more believable if you know what I mean. First off when he goes to work and comes home and lets say the computer is acting crazy it'...
A. 15 June 2010: To be honest, it sounds like he's full of resentment for some reason. I don't know why. Only he does. I think you two need to sit down and really talk to each other about this. If it means counselling, it means counselling. But he just sounds like ... (read in full...)
Is there still a chance for a relationship?
Q. I met a guy around a week ago. he gave me his number and we met up three times. During the first two 'dates' he was very polite and we kissed only on the cheek and were just friendly with each other. On the last date (today) he told me he li...
A. 15 June 2010: Well then you can slow it down again and continue to get to know him. If he's a good guy, he'll understand. It's not whether you move too quickly psychically, it's what else you do together. So spend time together, get to know each other and see ... (read in full...)
I don't trust my boyfriend's best friend!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and i'm still really jelouse when he goes out with his best friend who i don't trust.. i know this is pushing us apart how do i learn to stop being so jelous and trust my man?...
A. 15 June 2010: We'd need to know why you don't trust him. Because whatever the reason, that is the problem you have to address and come to terms with. ... (read in full...)
Why would my girlfriend say this?
Q. Hello everybody, I have a question... I've had an on/off relationship with this girl for a few years. The last time we broke up I thought it was for good since at that time we were planning on getting married. We started seeing each other again ...
A. 15 June 2010: I'm not too sure you should be with this girl. You've been on/off for a few years, and that's not a good sign at all. This just seems to be a disaster waiting to happen to me. ... (read in full...)
He said he's not sure that I am "the one" for him
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for close to a year... We already live together with my son. I am going through personal issues... I believe I may have depression or BPD and am in the process of being treated. He's very busy both working and ...
A. 15 June 2010: I also think you need to end it and make sure that you and your son are okay. The guy you're with just can't handle the pressure right now, which is a bad sign. I think the best thing you can do right now is leave and focus on your own life and that ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my ex?
Q. Me and my boyfriend (whom is my ex now)at the time were perfect in the beginning. the thing is he left his ex to be with me but something was telling me that him and his ex were def more than just friends afterward. id ask him plenty of times and ...
A. 15 June 2010: I think you need to cut him out of your life. He's treated both you and his ex very shabbily. He left her for you, never really cut contact and then left you to go back to her. He'll just continue to use people, and you don't want to be one of them ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to give our relationship another chance?
Q. I am reposting this in hopes for a males perspective and honest advice! There were a few incidents in the beginning of our relationship where he flirted with others in my presence. On facebook there are pics of him and others, some are recent ...
A. 15 June 2010: I just don't think he's going to come back. I know that's not what you want to hear, but I just don't think he will. If he was here asking for advice, I'd have advise him not to go back because of the violence and distrust. The pictures on facebook ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend twice should I tell him?
Q. I had cheated on my bf twice but not really had to boyfriends at once it was just a kissing thing that happens with two different guys in February and March.I was wondering if I should tell him or not. He's the love of my life I'm sure and I think ...
A. 14 June 2010: I would urge you not to tell him, but to break up with him. You've been going out for 8 months and you've cheated twice already? There is no way that you're ready for a relationship yet. Break up, have your fun and wait. ... (read in full...)
Help! I'm in a loveless marriage!
Q. Im woman married for four years now. Our relationship has been mainly long distant for the past five years. We have one child, a daughter who is 2 years old. The hubby does not provide for the family. If i try to ask him, he gets defensive and ...
A. 14 June 2010: And I would agree with you. You've spoken to him on several occasions and nothing has changed. He's not doing anything at all for you and your daughter, and you might just as well be single and happier. I think you would do much better to end it and ... (read in full...)
If I move on, she will too! Help!
Q. Ok well kind of a long story, Me and My girlfriend got together at 16 and stayed together for 5 years. In that time we did grow up and become diffrent as I prefer going out on nights out however she is a more reserved and quiet person. We split up ...
A. 14 June 2010: Well you have no choice. You either want to be with her or not. You can't have it both ways. But the best thing you can do is move on and cut ties. If you were really that into her, you wouldn't feel this way. End it and accept that she will move ... (read in full...)
I'm in need of hope that this heartbroken feeling won't last forever!
Q. It's the worst when you've come to realize that the guy you've loved for so long doesn't even care anymore... It feels like you'll never be able to move on from that one first (everything) love. I need some hope that this feeling won't last forever ...
A. 14 June 2010: Of course it won't last. But you have to be proactive about it. Don't just sit around waiting for it to get better. Get out there with friends, throw yourself into your job, start some new hobbies. Do anything that just gets your mind of him. It ... (read in full...)
Did his friend really influence him to masturbate, or did he change?
Q. I recently caught my boyfriend of 5 years masturbating to porn on his PS3. He said he had only been doing it for about six months, when he was friends with someone he was "influencing" him to be a..."pig." He says that other than those six months...
A. 14 June 2010: I'll tell you straight that he was lying. He'll have been masturbating for ages. You just caught him at it for the first time. ... (read in full...)
How do I properly surprise my girlfirend with flowers?
Q. Hi, I am 20 yrs old and I am dating my girlfriend who is also 20. We've been dating for 8 month but I never gave her flowers except for once on Valentine's day. And she sometimes gave me a clue that she likes to have a romantic gift like flowers. I ...
A. 14 June 2010: 1 - Does she work? You could have them delivered to her workplace (this worked very well for me when I did it for my girlfriend). If not, or if she's shy about it, then do it when you pick her up from his house, but away from the house (like beside ... (read in full...)
Is this guy bad news?
Q. Well, I have a situation I like this boy a lot, we are not going out but he walks me to all my classes waits for me after school and stuff like that.We are not together because we just met and want to be friends for now and get to know each other ...
A. 14 June 2010: Oh yes, you're getting into trouble all. He's violent, threatening, distrustful, told you he would kill you if you cheated and is, frankly a borderline sexual deviant. I think you're already in danger with this guy. Don't take it any further with ... (read in full...)
Was I just seeing things? An aparition, perhaps?
Q. i was walking home from a friends house it was about 3:20am it was quiet, as i was walking i heard some laughing, so i walked on then i notice a girl who was quite a distance away from me at first walking behind me a few minutes later i heard her ...
A. 14 June 2010: Sounds to me like she thought you were someone she recognized, then when she didn't she got scared and made a run for it. She may have been drunk as well, so that would made it worse for her. I think she just got scared. ... (read in full...)
Splitting the bill on a first date?
Q. I was on a first date with this guy and we went to see a movie, then had dinner at a Chinese restaurant. We're both students. He is a year older than me. So, he bought the movie tickets online, then announced the price out loud - "so it's 22.50 f...
A. 14 June 2010: If he asked you out, then it would have been nice for him to pick the bill up. And if he really couldn't afford it, then he could have said beforehand. But to announce in front of everyone what the price is was way too far. He's way to cheap for my ... (read in full...)
Why was he so hesitant to take my key?
Q. I have been involved with a man for nearly 6 yrs and recently has started leaving some of his things at my place. Nothing special just a couple of changes of clothes for when he chooses to stay over. When I saw him over the weekend I told him ...
A. 14 June 2010: The female aunts below have pretty much summed this up. From a male point of view, a key represents more commitment. And if in 6 years he's not totally moved in or committed, and he was hesitant to take they key, I'd say that he has commitment ... (read in full...)
I don't know if he wants me or her
Q. "OP Own Title"I met this great guy back in April at a party and we had a really good time together and kissed a few times, but I live half way across the country but I always go to his town every summer to visit my realitves and I am going in a ...
A. 14 June 2010: Seems like he moved on. A bit quick, which may indicate that he's working his way through a few girls and using them as he goes. I think if it says he's in a relationship, you're better off leaving him alone. You don't want to be hurt or used by ... (read in full...)
They psychic said to stay with this guy but I'm confused!
Q. I have been dating this person for a year now he has yet to call me his girlfriend or introduce me to his friends or family, this is a long distant relationship and he has deleted me from his facebook page to save frustration because of my ...
A. 14 June 2010: Sounds more to me like your boyfriend is hiding something here. The psychic is irrelevant here. What is relevant is that your long distance boyfriend deleted your name from facebook and you've caught him lying. I don't see it working out at all. ... (read in full...)
Should I admit that I've never had a proper relationship but have always slept with prostitutes?
Q. Assuming have stopped going and you are STD free (have been tested) etc, ALWAYS used comdoms etc. Would you admit if asked about previous relationships on a date that you have pretty much only ever slept with prostitutes? Been single and never...
A. 13 June 2010: I think it's best to leave this one. No one ever needs to know. ... (read in full...)
My legal rights???
Q. If I have been in a relationship for 5 years and we decided to call it quits, what are my rights when it comes down to having our access divided? We were not legally married but have lived together for that long in the state of Indiana....
A. 13 June 2010: Generally when you're not married, you get back what you put in. Best thing to do is get a lawyer. ... (read in full...)
Help me to understand boys better!
Q. I asked a question earlier this week asking for advice in a slow relationship and I received wonderful answers. Brief outline of my problem: Me and this guy have become very close, get refered to as Bf and Gf all the time. Spend all our time...
A. 13 June 2010: He's a young guy. And like all young guys, he has no tact at all. He didn't understand how you felt because you weren't there to tell him and show him. So he made a silly male remark relating to sex instead. He certainly wants you to take the ... (read in full...)
Will I EVER find a decent partner and should I give up on these dating websites?
Q. I feel very down right now. I am in my mid thirties and feel like I am deluding myself that I will ever find a decent partner. I could write a book on the rubbish that I have encountered with men particularly in the last 5 years ago or so. I ...
A. 13 June 2010: I have a feel that in desperation, you're letting your guard down. The worse you've been treated by these guys, the more you've gone out to find another guy and they're getting worse. You will find a guy, but I think you need to slow right down and ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if the relationship is completely over?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me and he says he needs time to get him life together and finances. He is broke and struggling to make ends meet. He says it wouldn't be fair to me for us to stay together because he can't put all the effort in a ...
A. 13 June 2010: I think right now, this is over. He needs to get his own life in order by himself, and you waiting around will make this more difficult for you both. Time to let go. ... (read in full...)
His constant cheating is breaking my heart...
Q. My boyfriend's character towards me changed since two weeks, i find out that he is cheating on me. what do i do? i came to his house and saw a girl inside his car, i called him to let him know that am around he just shouted at me that i should have ...
A. 13 June 2010: Just end it. Why bother with him. All he will do is hurt you. ... (read in full...)
Does a leopard ever change his spots?
Q. I was going out with a guy for a few months until I found out that whilst he was with me he was also someone I'm friendly with. She did'nt know that I was with him. We had a major fight over this and I didnt speak to him for nearly 2 months, ...
A. 13 June 2010: They can, but not quickly. At his age, chances are he will do it again. It takes a lot of will to change, and somehow I don't think he will have. ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to ask my ex to have my baby???
Q. my ex and i are still good friends our relationship died but not our friendship. we are always there to talk stuff over and that i want a baby and i asked my ex for the following reasons i no he has no std's i no he would respect me and my ...
A. 13 June 2010: I think you're treading down a rocky path to be honest. This could go wrong. You don't want to end up with a custody battle, or your child becoming confused should something go wrong. Better to have a child in a relationship, I think. ... (read in full...)
My ex and I are friends but he doesn't want me talking to my current boyfriend!
Q. here goes, i was with a guy for nearly 3 years, we had our ups and downs i ended up cheating on him when i went on holiday to essex last october(i live in cornwall), then eventually we broke up in april this year. i confided in the guy i cheated ...
A. 13 June 2010: You're being made to choose. Do you want your ex boyfriend to be a friend, or this new guy. You clearly can't have both. And rightfully so since one has been hurt. So I'm afraid you either cut contact with this friend, or you end it with this new ... (read in full...)
On a break, got drunk and had sex with another girl. What about my ex g/f?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 11 months. We have had 3 breaks since we have been together. The first one was for 2 weeks from the 2nd of January to the 14th of January this year. The second one was about 4 months ago and she and ...
A. 13 June 2010: Why? you've been together 11 months and you've had three breaks already, and on one of those breaks you've had sex with another girl. I'm not really sure that you two should get back together. This won't work out. So, your first best bet is to end ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex being such a jerk to me and my friends?
Q. Hi. I broke up with a guy I had been with for about 4/5 months, a year ago. We didn't have a clean break-up really. I was very upset and he kept messing me about. I totally got over him though and I can now see that he wasn't a good person and I ...
A. 13 June 2010: He can't handle that he's been dumped, so is taking it out on you. The more you let this affect you, the more he will do it. So the first, best thing you can do is ignore it. He will go away after a while. ... (read in full...)
If I move in with him, what is the fair way to split the bills?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. Recently we've been talking about me moving to live with him in the house he's been paying on for 15 years. Should I pay rent to him, plus half of the monthly utility and food bills if I move ...
A. 13 June 2010: Since it is his house and his name is on it, you shouldn't pay towards the mortgage unless he puts your name on it too. Other than that, split the bills depending on who earns more. That's fair. Don't pay anything towards the mortgage unless he also ... (read in full...)
Can the morning after pill make my period 2 weeks late?
Q. hi, i last had my period may 1st i took the morning after pill just after my period but now its June 13 and still no period..is there a chance the morning after pill made my perios 2 weeks late!!...
A. 13 June 2010: It might be that the morning after pill didn't work. I think you need to take a pregnancy test ASAP. ... (read in full...)
Help! Why does he keep coming back???
Q. i have been with my boyfriend 2 years and within that 2 years we have been on and off, he keeps dumping me and then running back telling me hes made a mistake.. an that hes goin crazy without me.. why does he keep running back? and its not for sex....
A. 13 June 2010: Because you're letting him. He's treating you like a doormat. It may not be for sex, but it sounds to me like he's using you as the safe bet. You can be sure of one thing, and that is that if you don't end it permanently, this will be how your love ... (read in full...)
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