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Latest articles:

My Ordeals and Mistakes in Life will be my Strength

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14 December 2012: My ordeals and mistakes in life will be my strength When I was 24 years old, I thought of marriage as an escape from my father who was very strict with me. I married the man who was working with us as lead guitarist in our restaurant bar b...

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How can I put a stop to my ex bad-mouthing about my now Gf? It hurts my Gf so much.

Q.   my girlfriend and soon to be wife puts herself down and its all because of me. well not exactly me its because of my past and her past. before her i had a girlfriend and our relationship did not work out and during those times i was falling in l...

A.   15 December 2012: Talk to your GF and assure her that you love her and tell her that both of you need to be strong and not to allow anybody to destroy your good relationship. To make her feel that you are protecting her and supporting her, tell your ex-gf in fr... (read in full...)

She is a weak woman who thinks with her heart and not her head. what is wrong with her?

Q.   hi i got myself into a tissy and i my conscious is getting the best of me. sometime ago i connected with a woman on a dating site. i didnt tell her i was bi and not divorced and occassionally sleeping with my husband and my man boss. she thinks...

A.   4 December 2012: I wonder and want to know, what it is that you know about you, that none of the rest know, that makes you believe that she would turn away from you if you did not demand or controlled that she stayed? What is it about you that’s so awful that you ... (read in full...)

She is a weak woman who thinks with her heart and not her head. what is wrong with her?

Q.   hi i got myself into a tissy and i my conscious is getting the best of me. sometime ago i connected with a woman on a dating site. i didnt tell her i was bi and not divorced and occassionally sleeping with my husband and my man boss. she thinks...

A.   1 December 2012: You have a narcissistic qualities and I believe you need help. ... (read in full...)

He acts like he wouldnt care if I disappeared and I know I need to be more confident and act stronger, any advice?

Q.   I love my boyfriend so much, and really want to keep him and have a life with him. But over the last year i have noticed that i sort of move around him. For example, there was one time when he said he didnt want to be with me, and i tried to say f...

A.   30 November 2012: If you want to be in the position of strength, you need to stop making excuses. You need to face the facts here that he is not treating you good. ... (read in full...)

Why does he not want to chat with me anymore? He said he'd marry me but then started talking about sex all the time, since then I've hardly heard from him!

Q.   DC, I had a crush on a guy for close to four years; we flirted, and then when we(me) finally opened up, he told me he had a girlfriend, that he loves and would marry one day. He said we could only be friends..but he immediately offered to hang out ...

A.   28 November 2012: Why did you give him something when it was not what you wanted? You asked him to stop talking about sex and yet you gave in. He was just using you for his sexual fantasy. Let me ask you, why do you allow him to treat you this way? I think... (read in full...)

Ignoring me then texting me wanting sex, this has been going on for 2 years! What should I do?

Q.   Hi i am new here just need some advice on this. I have been sleeping with a man for 2 years, we were boyfriend/girlfriend then somehow ended up fwbs. i hadnt saw him for a few weeks so i text him and asked him if he had slept with someone else, he ...

A.   13 November 2012: Leave and commit to yourself that you are not going to sell yourself that low. Respect and dignity is important don't give it away. ... (read in full...)

Help!!!! My confidence and self esteem are at an all time low...

Q.   My self esteem and confidence was shattered by my ex boyfriend, he would always call me fat and make nasty comments about the way i looked and my weight. In the bedroom he would constantly tell me how crap i was at some things and how sometimes i ...

A.   11 November 2012: I know what you feel because I was in your situation before and even till this day I am trying very hard to help myself up by reading self help books like from Dr. Phil ( Life Strategies and Self Matters) that help me go through my predicaments in ... (read in full...)

Do I have a chance of taking him away from his girlfriend?

Q.   Me and a guy at my job has been having a secret relationship for about a year during this time the relationship is a secret everyone knows. He has a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend(me and my boyfriend broke up for un-related reasons) now im singlr ...

A.   9 November 2012: Now is time to deal with what you want that works for you and not for him. Stand up for yourself and tell him that you can only be with him again if he is free and that you don't want to waste your time if it leads nowhere. See what will be his r... (read in full...)

Will my boyfriend break up with me because of my religion?

Q.   I'm really worried that my boyfriend will break up with me when he finds out my religion! He's Christian, I'm muslim. There are alot of stereotypes about Muslims that we're all terrorists and I fear he might think I'm like everybody else! Please h...

A.   9 November 2012: Don't fear. You can test your assumptions by asking him what he thinks or perceives about some muslims. Think of 3 or more questions in (general or particular) that can erase your doubts and fears. Just take his opinions and listen. When you have... (read in full...)

What do you appreciate most about DearCupid.org? This is also a big thank you to all the aunts and uncles on here!!

Q.   So, as you have probably gathered, this isn't a question. More of a massive thank you to all the fabulous people on here who give great advice day after day on this site!! I have been on this site for a few years now, and have been posting abo...

A.   31 October 2012: God bless you. I wish you the happiness you deserve. BE HAPPY! :-)... (read in full...)

I didn't cheat. How do I convince her? She will not talk to me, so what can I do?

Q.   My girlfriend of two years left me because she thinks I cheated on her But I didn't ... I tried to talk to her, to tell her the truth, but she will not talk to me at all. Seh has blocked me from her phone ... I'm soo. Soo in love with her my hear...

A.   26 October 2012: Leave her alone and no contact..this just means you are giving her space. But stop torturing yourself as well. Live your life the way you used to when she was not in your life, this will help you to move forward. If she doesn't contact you any ... (read in full...)

She belittles me in public. Should I stay friends with her?

Q.   My girl friend is from a richer home than me. i'm broke she can't assist me financially. When ever we are out for an outing and we happen to get into one dissagreement or the other,she tends to talk too recklessly and shout at me on the top of he...

A.   26 October 2012: I think it is best for you to stay away as she doesn't treat you good. Why do you want to be with someone who treats you less? Just walk away from this relationship and do not allow her to mistreat you. Do not allow anyone to shake your faith, your ... (read in full...)

I didn't cheat. How do I convince her? She will not talk to me, so what can I do?

Q.   My girlfriend of two years left me because she thinks I cheated on her But I didn't ... I tried to talk to her, to tell her the truth, but she will not talk to me at all. Seh has blocked me from her phone ... I'm soo. Soo in love with her my hear...

A.   26 October 2012: Write a letter and tell her about your feelings, be open with honesty and wait for her reply. If she doesn't still respond, give her the space she needs at least you tried your best to communicate.... (read in full...)

How do I talk to her and not run away? I've already hurt her

Q.   This if very hard. Admitting I have relationship issues. I just recently ended a relationship that has left me feeling empty and hurt. All because of a few things that may or may not be an issue. I've had security issues in the past and really ...

A.   22 October 2012: You have a negative train of thoughts that keep staying in your mind and it goes on and on and on because you had a bad experiences from your past. This girl you just ended the relationship is a new girl, she is not your past. Why does she has to ... (read in full...)

I cry every day. It's getting me down. What can I do to deal with my problem?

Q.   I have quite a few things troubling me however i'm the sort of person who keeps things to myself, and bottles it up. I don't like telling people as i feel like they will think i am seeking attention, or they won't be interested. It's got to the ...

A.   22 October 2012: Write all your hurt, your anger, your frustrations in a paper and describe everything in details what you feel. Write as if you are talking to the person who have hurt you but do not send it. Just pour out all your emotions...no denial but speak ... (read in full...)

How do I get hope back into my life?

Q.   I am 30 years old and have achieved nothing in my life that is worthwhile. I am a serial procrastinator, I cannot be bothered to do anything - I have no motivation at all and just feel like what is the point?. I make lists saying I'll do this, thi...

A.   19 October 2012: In life we make commitment, self-discipline, and just do it. No one can help you unless you help yourself first. People in DC can give you good advice and what to do but it is still up to you how you are going to help yourself and step up and ... (read in full...)

If I marry her will I have to help out her family too?

Q.   i have a Filipino girlfriend who's about 13 years younger here in the US. very worried about if i marry her , will her family also expect me to help them out financially? I've read thing that Filipino love to "show off" material things and such. a...

A.   15 October 2012: 75,000 USD or 3,150,000 pesos for a house and lot is too high but you can give her guidance how to buy wisely that would not cost her too much.... (read in full...)

If I marry her will I have to help out her family too?

Q.   i have a Filipino girlfriend who's about 13 years younger here in the US. very worried about if i marry her , will her family also expect me to help them out financially? I've read thing that Filipino love to "show off" material things and such. a...

A.   14 October 2012: I am a filipino and I am saddened to hear things like this but I cannot deny as well that there are some who do this but I would like to share you my points of view as a filipino woman. As a filipina, you can easily talk with us and let us under... (read in full...)

Is it possible to resign yourself to a life without love?

Q.   I just want to say this and get it off my chest really. Comment if you wish. I'm getting on for fifty, and have been married for twenty years, most of them unhappily. My wife suffered from serious post-partum depression after our children were bor...

A.   13 October 2012: Yes, I believe it is possible to resign yourself to a life without love but you don't want to live in dishonesty of your feelings. It creates sufferings both internally and externally. You have to be honest with your feelings now and make solution... (read in full...)

My husband is constantly putting me down.

Q.   My husband who is in denial has been putting me down for years for one reason or another. I will point it out to him as he is doing but he sees NOTHING wrong with it. I have question his love for me, but im so sure that he is NOT nor has ever lov...

A.   4 October 2012: You must stand up now for yourself. Your husband disrespects you clearly and despite of it, you asked an apology even if you don't have to. His behavior will not change unless you will change yourself and show him that you will no longer put up the ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong of me to get involved with the son of my lover who passed away?

Q.   my fiance of 3and 1/2 years took his own life in january of this year. thru hate emails, i came to find out that there were like 12 of us that he had proposed to. but that didn't stop me from loving him and mourning for him. he has 3 children, all ...

A.   21 September 2012: I don't think the feelings of this young man is love. Maybe he has some issues in life like a need for love and affection and he perhaps wants you to fill his emotional needs. You are a matured woman, you know better about life and what is wrong... (read in full...)

I told him I love him but he said he would never love me

Q.   i met a guy 2 months ago on a dating site. we agreed we were only going to be friends with benefits. but now i am in love with him but he says he will never love me. we have seen each other 16 times now and thats alot. i give him blow jobs and we h...

A.   10 September 2012: Kindly face the truth here and ask yourself, "WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?" If you will reread your lines you are in denial and don't want to face the truth. Why would you like to be with him when he has told you he will not love you? Why wo... (read in full...)

How do you all feel about "the other woman" when it comes to a relationship or marriage?

Q.   How do you all (ladies AND gentlemen) feel about "the other woman" when it comes to a relationship or marriage. SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY. I'm not talking about "the other woman" who has no idea that the guy has a wife/girlfriend. I'm talking about...

A.   9 September 2012: In my opinion, the cheater and the other woman made a very poor choice and both have low self-esteem. In our life, we choose on something that works for us. Between these two (the married man and the other woman), they made a choice to have a... (read in full...)

Should I wait for him to miss me? How do I get him to talk to me?

Q.   me and my boyfriend broke up yesterday over something stupid. When we fight, I usually keep quiet but yesterday i was so full of anger so I fought back. I know I got so angry because he never keeps his promises and he always lied to me. I love so ...

A.   6 September 2012: Let him feel sorry for what he did and with his lies. Do not initiate contact anymore. He has devalued you and I do not think that is LOVE. If I am you, I will move on with my life and build my self-confidence and self-respect again. Do not allo... (read in full...)

What kind of topics are good to talk about with a girl?

Q.   Hi, I was wondering. I have a girl that I like. She is a peer in my university. We were in the same class this summer. What kind of topics are good to talk about with a girl? I dont know much about her such as her likes or dislikes. I have...

A.   9 August 2012: If you want to have a successful conversation, you may try to ask her about her interest in life and you need to be a listener and from it, you will get more topic to discuss...be an attentive listener. this will make her comfortable sharing with ... (read in full...)

He verbally abuses me, we had a fist fight, I don't trust him but I love him!

Q.   Hello Agonies. Let me get straight to it..I seem to can't let go and move on from my bf, no matter what he ever did or said to me, whom has cheated on me 5x's, he's very disrespectful, he wants to act like a stray dog and do what he wants to do. ...

A.   7 August 2012: You just need to learn to love yourself more, more than you love your boyfriend. There is nothing wrong with you but you depended your happiness with him. You know he is not good enough and you know your life is in misery with him, and yet YOU ... (read in full...)

Our relationship is going really well, but I keep getting doubts!

Q.   Well this is about a relationship im in since 7 months...My gal is a rotary exchange student and that's how we met. I had never been in a relationship before this and neither has she..actually she has but she says it was hardly considerable. She is ...

A.   21 July 2012: You need to deal with your doubts because this is really a relationship killer. You are not emotionally secure reason you doubt but you need to stop this feeling or else you will end miserable and may lose her. ... (read in full...)

How do I know if I still love my wife after 20 years?

Q.   My wife and I will be married for 20 years this August. One thing I am struggling with is whether I am still in love with her or not. Certainly, I do not feel the same way about her I did 15 years ago in terms of the fluttery feeling of the earl...

A.   7 July 2012: I think you need to sit with her and talk about your relationship. You may start from what you miss from her or maybe you may ask her the same question, what she misses from you? As you said, you both have taken for granted your feelings. I guess ... (read in full...)

How can I learn to be myself around others?

Q.   I don't know how to be myself when I'm around other people. I always get scared that I may be talked about and wouldn't fit in. I tell myself to be myself but when I get around people I get nervous and chicken out because I'll think I'm being talked ...

A.   6 July 2012: You need to stop having negative emotions and thoughts and start working out on how you can start believing in yourself. Whenever you are with people just be yourself and be confident and be aware always of your negative thoughts and feelings. Wh... (read in full...)

He says he loves me but things aren't the way they used to be

Q.   I was in a relationship with a guy who I was crazy in love with and so was he about me and suddenly he started acting weird not calling me as often as he does and not coming to see. He even said he knows he is withdrawn but won't tell me why but ...

A.   6 July 2012: Just stay in touch and be friendly with him but do not expect anything as expectations may hurt you. From here, see where it leads. He may have other problems he needs to resolve on his own much as it is affecting you but be a friend to him and ... (read in full...)

What do you do if you feel you are not in love with your wife anymore?

Q.   What do you do if you feel you are not in love with your wife anymore? We have 3 children together. They are not toddlers. We have debt. Physically not that attracted to her anymore and seem to just be going through the motions. I don't want to ...

A.   6 July 2012: What you feel is living with no passion and no intimacy any longer but you still love your wife. Good thing is you still know you love her. If you did not, you would have been separated long time and you have this guilt feeling because you stil... (read in full...)

I'm jealous and its driving away a good guy

Q.   How can I stop being so jealous? I've been hurt badly in past relationships, lied to and cheated on time and time again. I'm now with a wonderful man who treats me better than I ever thought I could be treated, but my jealousy issues are driving him ...

A.   17 June 2012: Hi there. You have mentioned you do trust him and if you do trust him there will be no questions. To get over your jealousy is to feel secure and confident of yourself, to believe in yourself. I believe you need to work out on this. If you ... (read in full...)

I finally managed to get out of an unhappy relationship, so why am I missing him so much? Should I call him?

Q.   Yesterday, I broke up with my boyfriend. After 2.5 years I just had enough. He never kissed, hugged me, asked about my day. He never made an effort to talk to me. I had fallen out of love. I admit for the first 2 years I did everything he asked ...

A.   6 June 2012: If this is the way you feel then you have not decided yet and believed that what you did by leaving him was the best for you. If you did, you would not feel this way. Why not give yourself a time to think clearly rather than do things you will reg... (read in full...)

I finally managed to get out of an unhappy relationship, so why am I missing him so much? Should I call him?

Q.   Yesterday, I broke up with my boyfriend. After 2.5 years I just had enough. He never kissed, hugged me, asked about my day. He never made an effort to talk to me. I had fallen out of love. I admit for the first 2 years I did everything he asked ...

A.   6 June 2012: You are in love with him and you are grieving but it is very unhealthy if you will go back to him. You will be emotionally stress and I am very sure you will not feel happy just like you are now. What is the difference of what you are feeling ... (read in full...)

Why do I keep going back to my B/f even though he treats me like dirt?

Q.   Dear Cupid my bf of 2 years is emotionally abusing me, always ignoring me, treats me like shit, never apologize and always finding one reason to another to stop spending time with me. Its been very long since we even talked for more than 5 mts....

A.   16 May 2012: You know you need to leave him and you know he is not good for you but you couldn't do it even if you wanted to. Do you know why you couldn't do it? Because you have not decided to really want to leave him. You keep coming back to him because you ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with my parents forcing me into marriage?

Q.   Hiiii dear cupid..my question is that it is allowed in any religion or any country to force someone specially girls for marriage..if parents are forcing someone for marriage then what to do..my parents always said girls r not allowed to raise there ...

A.   8 May 2012: There are few countries I believe practicing an arranged marriage, but as far as I've known, in India it is still existing as my associates at work who are from India came from an arranged marriage. Arranged marriage is part of your culture,... (read in full...)

I suspect my husband is gay or bisexual

Q.   hi dear cupid. i just got married last year november and I found a text that he send to his friend, guy friend. it says" hide behind the blanket and take a photo" and when I ask him he said he don't know and he forget what does mean? So from th...

A.   8 May 2012: I believe you have to observe your husband more base with facts and not assumptions. ... (read in full...)

My FWB doesn't want a relationship but he gets jealous if I'm interested in another guy

Q.   Hi everyone I'm not sure what to do about this situation I have been in a fwb for 14 months I have three men asking for a date with me I met one last weekend which seems really nice but the trouble is I don't want any of these only my fwb he does ...

A.   6 May 2012: Would you like to see yourself in the future with a man who will really want to be with you and love you? FWB relationship is only about one thing SEX and it will never go beyond that.You are setting up yourself here one day to be hurt. Honestly... (read in full...)

How do I find the courage to break it off with my partner who has a bad criminal history?

Q.   please help me to break off my relationship with this man? he is a criminal. He does have bad criminal history. please help me out....

A.   3 March 2012: You can break it off IF you are decided to do so. If you know he has a criminal record and if this person is unwilling to make a change in his life for the better, then, leaving him is a good decision to make. Your message sounded like you... (read in full...)

How can I relax and not sabotage this potentially wonderful relationship?

Q.   Hi everyone. A quick question, I am in a relationship with a stunning gregarious woman. We're to married in August and have talked about having a child together. However, I live daily in fear that things will turn sour. I try not to look for reasons ...

A.   31 January 2012: Try to see what is most important to you with regards to your beliefs and values. There are times we feel unhappy because we tend to have complex values interpretations. Like for example, you want to feel loved and it is what you feel most imp... (read in full...)

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