| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Involved with a married man and not sure what he wants, what should I do?
Q. i have been working with a married guy since late last year but hes always made it clear and obvious that hes attracted to me. we are very close in work as most of us are but,in feb he opened up to me that his marriage has major problems. just...
A. 14 September 2010: I know this is hard. Believe me, you're not the only mistress to think that a married man really loves them. There are hundreds of posts on this site alone that will show you about married men.
This guy uses you for his own ends. At no point does... (read in full...)
Why is it an insult to be labeled a feminist?
Q. Why is it an insult to be labeled a feminist now? A true feminist wants equality in every aspect. Why is that so bad? A true feminist never says things like, "the world would be better if women were in charge." A feminist just wants women and men to ...
A. 18 June 2010: Actually OP, statistically men aged between 18 and 24 are the most likely to victims of violence. Not women. And that group is then followed by men between the ages of 40-49. The majority of violence is in fact committed by men against other men. It ... (read in full...)
Wetness...
Q. Hey, i was wondering is it normal to get wet by just thinking of sexual stuff? Also is it normal to get in the mood out of nowhere like just laying in bed doing nothing? Lastly do guys get turned on finding out their girl is wet? Thanks....
A. 18 June 2010: Yes, yes and yea again. You're perfectly normal.... (read in full...)
He wants to have sex with me... to practice!!!!
Q. Hello, I'm a 17 year old straight girl, and recently one of my male friends, who is gay, was telling me about how it's common for gay guys to have sex with their female friends sort of as 'practice'... He didn't directly ask me but I'm inferrin...
A. 17 June 2010: Say no. A gay man doesn't have sex with woman to practise. ... (read in full...)
How do you know if she is having a real orgasm?
Q. How do you know if a woman is having an orgasm? Ive heard alot of women fake it. But how do you know if its real? My girlfriend likes it when i lick and finger her at the same time. While doing it, she pulls my hair and presses my head against ...
A. 17 June 2010: Sounds like a real one to me. When a woman specifically asks for a particular technique, it usually means it works. And the whole leg thing and not being able to do anything for ten minutes is more proof. I think she was having a great time.... (read in full...)
Do boobs really matter that much? Feeling insecure!
Q. So my ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for about 2 weeks. He is talking to this girl, I checked her FB profile out she has a son, has big boobs, big ass, she's like a muslim or something, she gets around, has a filthy mouth, she's fat. Why is ...
A. 17 June 2010: To some, boobs are a big deal. But for the most part they don't matter. Only a closed minded man would be interested in breasts and nothing else.
As for this other guy, I think it's clear you're too good for him anyway. Take your time getting ... (read in full...)
I just found out I'm pregnant and my parents are ignoring me!
Q. hi everyone heres the thing ive been with my partner for 2 and half years we just found out im pregnant and my mum has kicked me out im 28 and hes 26 im now living with my partners parents and on the council list . i wanna talk to my parents...
A. 17 June 2010: Right now, the most important thing here is that you and your unborn baby are healthy and safe. Your parents will come around in their own time. But the most important thing is that you and your boyfriend get ready for this baby and support each ... (read in full...)
How can I help him see me as more than a 'Friend with Benefits'?
Q. Hi, I know that many of you are going to say this is wrong, i am sure it is but what is done is done. We started as a harmless flirting, talking every day and making silly jokes. We do not even live in the same town but he manged to come here ...
A. 17 June 2010: He's using you. He has a girlfriend, and he's using you on the side. End it, because this is something you're not going to in. He's a liar and a cheat. He may make you laugh, but he doesn't care about you. If he did he would have left her and come ... (read in full...)
How can I prevent my mother from finding out I have a boyfriend?
Q. My phone bill has come and my mu has applied for the call list!I've been calling up my guy!I don want mum to know that I'm in a relationship!How do i save myself?...
A. 17 June 2010: Well, I think if the bill has already come though there's a chance she will find out. So you'll either have to bite the bullet, or do as chigirl says. If you have the internet, maybe you could chat over that.... (read in full...)
Can I qualify for council-living?
Q. hi this may sound like a silly question, just wanted some information. I Have bidded on a flat for 2 days now and im still in 1st place although i have bidded on alot in the past but never reached 1st place like i have now which is great news, t...
A. 17 June 2010: Go to this site
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
and find out where your nearest office is. They can help you with benefits for your child, housing and such. And it's all free.
From what you've said, given that you're pregnant, I would... (read in full...)
Does my girl love me or does she secretly prefer another guy?
Q. Hi, I am totally lost. I just had six months of great passion with a great girl I met. She's 23, smart like the devil, and a pure beauty. It's not the routine yet, but we know each other very well now. Recently she told me she had a one-night ...
A. 17 June 2010: I would suggest that if it's clear she's still interested in him, that it's best you move on. She may be interested in you just because you're the one who's closer. But if she's contacting him and still seems interested, then maybe you should move ... (read in full...)
Am I terrible if I am secretly happy when my ex encounters a problem?
Q. Does feeling like this make me a bad person I feel so happy when my X gets a problem and feel very bad when he achieves something i hate how i feel..but its something that automatically comes about... however i dont show it to anybody that i f...
A. 17 June 2010: Not terrible, no. Everyone feels good when someone who has hurt us gets hurt. But what it does show is that you're not over him having hurt you. That's something that needs to be worked out. So maybe cut all contact, and just spend time on your own ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is visiting dating and teen porn sites and its ruining our intimacy!
Q. My bf does not think dating forums and porn has anything to do with me. I feel unsexy and not good enough. He cant stay of teenporn sites. I hate it it affects our sex life. He does not even try to satisfy me. He is using cipralex which makes it ...
A. 17 June 2010: If he's looking at teen porn sites and is on dating forums, then I'd say this is over. You might love him and not want to leave, but the more you allow yourself to be treated this way, the more you lose your own self respect. End it and find a guy ... (read in full...)
How can I let my boyfriend know I'm hurt and its over, without looking like its affecting me?
Q. "I was supposed to tell you last time, that I have something of a girlfriend. She likes to throw fits and, since she's a pretty jealous and paranoid creature, demanded that I make it clear to you that, yes, I am somewhat taken." "I guess she thinks ...
A. 17 June 2010: I think you should just say that he is not putting effort in, doesn't seem interested and seems like he's into his ex, so you're setting him free so he can go to her. There's no way of making it look like you're not affected, because by dumping ... (read in full...)
How do you know its safe to go back? How can you tell if you WANT to go back?
Q. My husband and I have separated after 2 years of marriage (together for 7). We had been unhappy for about 7 months. He felt I was nagging when I tried to address issues with him. I felt he couldn't control his temper and it led to verbal and some ...
A. 17 June 2010: Do not go back to a relationship that was violent. It will be the same. I don't think you should go back. ... (read in full...)
My ex doesn't want to be intimate anymore. Am I wrong to share my pain with him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and half years....on and off. We officialy broke up on august last year but we still see each other and we still talk and are intimate so nothing has really change. Earlier today he tells that he th...
A. 17 June 2010: But he's not your boyfriend. He's just not. What you had together ended last year, and rather than move on, he's basically been having his way with you. Something has now changed with him, and he's stopped that. You are now a friend, and that is how ... (read in full...)
What do people think of the 'Rubber Band Theory'?
Q. This is for both for both guys and girls. Be good to hear both points of view. Do you believe in the Rubber Band Theory that men need to pull back after intimacy? How do guys feel during this period of needing Space? ...
A. 17 June 2010: I think guys just need a few days to work out how they feel. Some won't pull away. I never did. But I was always sure about how I felt before I did anything. But some men are perhaps still working out how they feel, and so when they're intimate ... (read in full...)
Should I bother waiting for him, or should I move on?
Q. I come to this point that I’m, looking for others people opinion. Here is my story. I met this guy at work about 2 years ago we start sleeping together, there is a difference in years between us (he is 29 I’m 38); he said thats not a problem ...
A. 17 June 2010: You're being used left right and centre. I think you should just move on. ... (read in full...)
Forgot to take my tampon out before sex, now it smells realy bad!
Q. i have this problem well you see i had intercourse while there where a tampon inside me and it went really rought so i did manage to get it out but somehow it still feels like something is in there, it hurts very bad now everytime i want to have ...
A. 17 June 2010: Quit being ashamed and get to a doctor. I know I'm a man so know nothing about most of all this. But you might have an infection or something.... (read in full...)
Why is it an insult to be labeled a feminist?
Q. Why is it an insult to be labeled a feminist now? A true feminist wants equality in every aspect. Why is that so bad? A true feminist never says things like, "the world would be better if women were in charge." A feminist just wants women and men to ...
A. 17 June 2010: Interesting. Thanks OlderSister. You know that's the first time the whole idea of feminism has actually been explained? No one ever before has actually explained what it is that women actually want from all this. All I've ever heard is that the ... (read in full...)
Why is it an insult to be labeled a feminist?
Q. Why is it an insult to be labeled a feminist now? A true feminist wants equality in every aspect. Why is that so bad? A true feminist never says things like, "the world would be better if women were in charge." A feminist just wants women and men to ...
A. 17 June 2010: This is a good topic actually. And perhaps there is an answer. I have an interesting question for the women who are answering this. There is a reason with it, so bear with me. I'm hoping for some good answers, rather than ones suggesting I'm sexist, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he'll always have feelings for his ex
Q. My boyfriend says he likes me A LOT. we've been close friends almost 2 years. I love him, but the fact that he still has feelings for his best friend (ex girlfriend) bugs the hell out of me. I know that he's in love with her and he admitted that he ...
A. 17 June 2010: Yep, you' will always be number 2. He's even more or less admitted to it. You have a choice. You can either be second best for however long he is with you, or you cam dump him and find a real man. Don't be second best. ... (read in full...)
How can I make him forget about my past and focus on the present?
Q. my boyfriend is finding out all about my past relationships and what i've done. these things im not proud of at all and i honestly don't have a reason why i did the things i did. he always gets mad at me whenever he remembers something he was once ...
A. 17 June 2010: Stop being hurt that HE is hurt, and start being a bit angry. I've read post after post on this site about women who have pasts, and their boyfriends can't handle it even though they've asked. Everyone comes with a past, like it or not. That's why ... (read in full...)
Why is his ex always brought up when we argue?
Q. Can someone, anybody tell me why me and my boyfriend argue constantly about evry little thing possible? and when were in the middle of an argument he'll bring up how us arguing reminds him of how his past relationship with his ex girlfriend was. He ...
A. 17 June 2010: If he's bringing up his ex, then maybe he still has something for her. He shouldn't be bringing her up at all, especially when you're in an argument about something that affects only you two. And if you're arguing a lot, then it's a sign that you ... (read in full...)
My brother in law wont stop pursuing me.
Q. My brother in law won't quit calling me texting me and facebooking me. We almost had sex one time and my sister walked in, no I don't want anything to do with him, but he woint leave me alone. I haven't answered anything from him, because I wouldn't ...
A. 17 June 2010: Ah. That's pretty awful really. Well, I think then that the only thing you can do is to ignore him. Respond to none of his texts, emails, calls, cut him from facebook and anything else that he can use to get to you. Just cut him out of your life. ... (read in full...)
Am I betraying my friend by being friendly towards the wife of the man she is involved with?
Q. In November 09, my friend (who we'll call Jess) of 15 years and I went to the pub, she is married and i'm single, and we met 2 guys, i met the single one and she met the married one, (who we'll call Tom) me and single one got it on, thats over now, ...
A. 17 June 2010: Tom's wife sounds like a much nicer woman that this Jess anyway. I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. Jess seems to be the one in the wrong here. Be friends with Tom's wife. She may well need a decent friend at some point. ... (read in full...)
Involved with a married man and not sure what he wants, what should I do?
Q. i have been working with a married guy since late last year but hes always made it clear and obvious that hes attracted to me. we are very close in work as most of us are but,in feb he opened up to me that his marriage has major problems. just...
A. 17 June 2010: Well I'm sorry, but he IS using you and you ARE just sex to him. He's so unhappily married that he's still with this wife? I'm sorry, but like all misguided mistresses, you are being used and are refusing to believe it. Cheating married men are ... (read in full...)
How do you kiss?
Q. my mate knows some boy and she realy likes him and he likes her but she doesn't know how to snog (kiss) i have tried to explain it to her but she keeps saying im wrong can anyone tell her right ?? ...
A. 16 June 2010: Give up trying to explain it. If you've already offered advice and she's not listened, then she'll just have to experiment herself. It's difficult to explain anyway. But if she's saying you're wrong, then let her do her own thing. ... (read in full...)
My ex thinks I am mocking him!
Q. I broke up with my a ex over a month ago. For all this time he had been really romantic and apologetic, trying to get me back but now he hates me and I feel like a horrible person! We had many issues during our relationship because he was j...
A. 16 June 2010: Just cut contact. This guy is very manipulative and has played you so you feel bad. you've done nothing wrong at all. Just cut contact with him permanently, and never take notice of him again. He's a pretty awful guy to be honest.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend that I cheated?
Q. Should i tell him that i cheated? i have been with my boyfriend for 11months now and about 3 months into our relationship my ex came over to mine to give me back some old revision notes, i didn't know what was happening but next thing i knew he ...
A. 16 June 2010: He may have come over and pushed it, but you didn't decline, so there must have been something there between you and your ex. If you cheated 11 months into a relationship with your ex, then you would do better to end it. And there is a high chance ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend walked out, ..with pictures of our threesome. How can I get them back?
Q. I had a 3 way with my g/f and her best friend last month. My g/f asked me if I had a good time and I said we could do that again. It seemed to happen by accident, but now I think I was set up for what happened next. A week after that 3 way, we ...
A. 16 June 2010: You're in trouble this time. Get your brave face ready, because this might come out. As for going back with her? No way in hell. I'm not sure if you could try getting a court order for the photos, but I really think you've been set up. Just don't ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend walked out, ..with pictures of our threesome. How can I get them back?
Q. I had a 3 way with my g/f and her best friend last month. My g/f asked me if I had a good time and I said we could do that again. It seemed to happen by accident, but now I think I was set up for what happened next. A week after that 3 way, we ...
A. 16 June 2010: You're in trouble this time. Get your brave face ready, because this might come out. As for going back with her? No way in hell. ... (read in full...)
Is sex on a second date too soon from a guys point of view?
Q. Hi everyone, I just started talking to a guy who I met online about 2 months ago, and things are going great! We talked through e-mails for almost a month, and then he came to visit me and took me out, and we really hit it off and had a great time...
A. 16 June 2010: Just the second time you've seen each other? You're moving a bit too fast. You really need more time to get to know each other. That way he wont just use you then lose you when he's done. Take your time getting to know him in person. ... (read in full...)
Should friends go to a party you have not been invited to?
Q. I used to have a male friend who i was very close to. Even though we dated for a short time we still managed to stay friends, then for a few months we didnt see each other. Then one time a group of us went camping including him and my older sister, ...
A. 16 June 2010: I must admit that he rather stabbed you in the back. But this is something you just need to accept. If he doesn't want you there, he just doesn't. It's most likely there are issues between him and your sister that he doesn't want to be reminded of. ... (read in full...)
My brother in law wont stop pursuing me.
Q. My brother in law won't quit calling me texting me and facebooking me. We almost had sex one time and my sister walked in, no I don't want anything to do with him, but he woint leave me alone. I haven't answered anything from him, because I wouldn't ...
A. 16 June 2010: If you almost had sex one time, then there must be some interest. I think you need to tell your sister about this now and show her the texts and such. She needs to know her husband is trying his luck. Just don't tell her that you almost had sex.. ... (read in full...)
He lied and blew me off to take another girl to a fair. Should I forgive him?
Q. I found out my boyfriend lied to me. We had plans to go on a road trip together to visit a town that was having a fair. We almost broke up recently, so we're on rocky ground in our relationship. We are also currently on a break. Becasue of us being ...
A. 16 June 2010: He still went out with her, didn't he? He still lied? You don't know he doesn't like her for a fact. What you do know for a fact is that while on a break where he should have been thinking about what he wanted with you, he blew you off several ... (read in full...)
Did we over react in this situation?
Q. I (we) don't really need relationship advice, but our question does have to do with male/female situations I guess. My wife got a really great job, but it's about 3 hours away from our home. My company is opening a new branch very close to where m...
A. 16 June 2010: He's broken the law. You didn't over react, and if I were you I'd drag him to court. ... (read in full...)
My friend says I am a slut, but I think she's just jealous!
Q. ok first date i did hand job and let him finger me, but we are gonna be bf and gf (boyfriend and girlfriend). My friend said i am a slut but i think shes jealous because she doesnt have a bf. why wouldnt she be happy for me? I have never judged her ...
A. 16 June 2010: I think your friend is concerned for you. She's just worded it wrong. And here's why. You've been on a first date and before you've even really got to know this guy to make sure you know he's not out to use you, you've let him go quite far. Now it's ... (read in full...)
The married man I am having an affair with is cheating on me!
Q. im having an affair to a married man and we are now six years, the problem is he's having a fling relationship to another woman, how can i stop him on this kind of habit i feel so hurt and jealous..what will i do for him should i leave him but i ...
A. 16 June 2010: Why are you even involved with this man? In 6 years, he's not left his wife for you. He never will. And he's not cheating on you at all. You're the mistress, you're not his wife. He's cheating on his wife. Do you not see that you're being used? He ... (read in full...)
On the verge of breaking up as he's taking his exes side!
Q. "I was supposed to tell you last time, that I have something of a girlfriend. She likes to throw fits and, since she's a pretty jealous and paranoid creature, demanded that I make it clear to you that, yes, I am somewhat taken." "I guess she thinks ...
A. 16 June 2010: Two words. - DUMP HIM. When a man takes the side of his ex, you're in trouble. Get away from him and focus on yourself for a while. ... (read in full...)
He's not giving me any of his time and I'm starting to resent him.
Q. I feel very selfish saying this!!! I love my partner so so so much! We have a 4 year old daughter together and just recently moved away from all our family and friends due to work commitments. Trouble is he is working away ALL the time. When ...
A. 16 June 2010: Take everything you've just said here and tell him. Tell him exactly how you feel. You've clearly got a lot of frustration inside you, and it needs to come out. So sit him down, and just tell him straight how you feel. Don't hide it, don't soften ... (read in full...)
Jealous boyfriend won't connect with my son!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and he just doesn't get me at all. I met him through my ex and it was great at 1st. I moved in with him after 5 months and left my home town and my children with their dad as there was access ...
A. 16 June 2010: I think you need to leave before this gets any worse. If there were access issues before, this sort of thing could cause you trouble. You don't need a man like this in your life.... (read in full...)
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