| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Is she just using me for childcare, or is she going to have me back?
Q. i have been with my partner for 12 years and have 3 kids she started seeing somone behind my back when i found out she kicked me out and moved him in. i want her back and she said she thinks she wants me back and asks me to come round every day when ...
A. 23 June 2010: You're being used if I ever saw it. Sorry, but you need to stop being this woman's doormat. Screw her and take her to court and just get her out of your life. ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's positioning himself to be 'waiting in the wings'?
Q. My guy friend recently bought me a present, nothing too expensive, but something really cool and meaningful to me. Also he knows I like wine and will often buy a bottle and, after he opens it, if it's especially good he'll insist I take the rest to ...
A. 23 June 2010: I think it's very possible yes. But I also think he's being sensible about it and hinting for you to take time and make sure you do what's best for you.... (read in full...)
I don't doubt that he loves me, but his behaviour is just so selfish!
Q. hello and thanks in advance for reading my situation is that im a married, have 3 children and i left my partner nearly 1 year ago. i left because my husband completely lived a separte live from me and the children. he would go to work return from...
A. 23 June 2010: The moment I ever read of hear someone say 'I don't doubt that he loves me, but..." I know it's a losing battle. Fact is, if he loved you that much, he would have attempted to either change or adapt in some way. Even if he didn't like going out, ... (read in full...)
I haven't had a serious relationship since I was fifteen and feel like I'm going to be this way forever.
Q. hey, im getin fed up ov being alone. when i go out dont get me wrong i do "pull" bt it never leads to a realtionship. all my friends have no problems in getin one but i havent had a serious boyfriend since i was 15. i feel alone and feel as i am ...
A. 23 June 2010: Stop worrying. That's the first thing. Good guys can sense a woman who is worried, or a woman who is seemingly desperate and it scares us. You're still a young woman, and you have plenty of time to search for the right guy, rather than just any guy. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend takes pictures of other girls! should I forgive him?
Q. I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been taking pictures of other women. Most recently while we were at the beach he took about 20 pictures of young women from all angles in their bikinis. I'm very upset over this but he says it will ...
A. 23 June 2010: Basically he's a peeping tom. That's it. The most concerning part of your post is where you say that he sad "you should forgive him". That sounds awfully like he's not really understood how much he's hurt you and that he's just expecting you to fall ... (read in full...)
Torn between a 'perfect' current partner and an ex who I cannot forget
Q. I've been with my current boyfriend for just over 6 months after splitting with my last boyfriend after finding out that he cheated on me. Things with the current boyfriend have been good but I have never really gotten over my ex and its beginning ...
A. 22 June 2010: I think you need to spend some time alone. You're being very unfair to your current boyfriend by staying with him while you know you don't love him as much as your ex. He's a good guy, and deserves a woman who will give him the love that you just ... (read in full...)
It's so difficult to forget and comprehend why this married man lied to me and then left me?
Q. I was going out with a guy and everything seemed so perfect. He looked happy with me. One day he told me that he was divorced. I didn't freak out because I understand it happens but what really happened was that he was married. His wife called me. ...
A. 22 June 2010: You've learnt one of the most valuable lessons you ever could have. Married men never leave their wives, or when they do leave for the mistress, it goes on to break down. It's a painful one, but you'll now understand more about men that most other ... (read in full...)
Divorcee, having a terrible time meeting a boyfriend. Please advise.
Q. I am hitting rock bottom once again. After a brutal divorce, I am having a terrible time meeting a boyfriend, that is the right match for me,. I am sad as I try to do everything right. I take great care of myself, I am fit, have a great job and ...
A. 22 June 2010: I think you need to slow down again and really look at the type of man you're attracted to. Men have told you that you're attractive. But then of all those men, you happened to pick the one who wasn't sure what he wanted and was going through a ... (read in full...)
I hate him looking at porn, how do I get him to stop?
Q. ok so i've been reading some of the posts in the pornography section and i have a question to ask myself. I am a 17 year old girl. I have been with my partner for 2 years now and we have a 10 month old baby together. I haven't got the best bod...
A. 22 June 2010: I think there are more problems than porn here. He just sounds like a pretty awful guy in general. And you're making a fundamental mistake. Yo're trying to change him. That's something he won't do. ... (read in full...)
Why do ex-wives always blame 'other women' for the dissolution/destruction of their marriage?!
Q. My boyfriend told me he was single when we first met. Then pretty soon I get a phone call from a woman claiming to be his wife! I confronted him- He said he didn't tell me he was married because they were already separated. He hasn't lived with her ...
A. 22 June 2010: Well be very careful when you say you won't take blame, and be very careful what you say and when you say it to this woman. Because there is one thing she can do, and that's claim that you're a bad influence on her son, and she can get full custody ... (read in full...)
Was he just using me for my body?
Q. Background: I just finished my senior year in high school dating this guy David for like six months now and it's been great. I'm not always an easy person to deal with owing to my bi-polar adhd-ness but he's been the only one to make me happy. But I ...
A. 22 June 2010: You were used. And in cheating, you have proved yourself unworthy at this time to be in a relationship. Bi-polar is an illness, but it's no excuse to cheat. Right now, you should be single and focusing on your own life. ... (read in full...)
Is she using me to help her low self esteem?
Q. Me and my partner have been together for almost two years, and while on the outside everything looks fine on the outside it truth its not. The problem comes down to intimacy, we have no sex life to speak of, and even if we are just lying there...
A. 22 June 2010: This just won't work. She's not really talking about it and giving too many excuses. She can't expect you to sit around waiting forever. You shouldn't have to be on edge all the time when you're around her. It just seems to me like you're her ... (read in full...)
Did he just use me for that one night?
Q. i had sex with this guy we are not committed but we know each other since elementary. i know im stupid doing that but for me and to him its just for fun. after that night he go back to wisconsin coz he lived there. im not inlove with him but why im ...
A. 22 June 2010: Sorry, but you were used. Move on. ... (read in full...)
Why did I cheat on him?
Q. Hi Guys. Firstly sorry for this being so long, im just so confused right now. I previously asked a question which was titled 'Playing with fire...' In that i basically said that me and my bf are in a long distance relationship (a very long one) and...
A. 22 June 2010: You're not fulfilled by your boyfriend, you're not really happy with him and you're not getting attention. You don't trust him at all. And now you've cheated with two men. I think they're all very good reasons to end it. It's clear that the LDR ... (read in full...)
What are the sympthoms of pregnancy?
Q. i want to no if i am pragent...
A. 22 June 2010: Also, take a pregnancy test. That's one of the best ways to be sure.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong not to tell someone you plan to sleep with?
Q. how wrong is it to not tell someone you're going to sleep with that you have genital warts? i mean is it that big of a deal?...
A. 22 June 2010: It's so serious that if you don't tell someone and you know you have an STD, you can be jailed and sued if they get it. You need to tell that person if you're sleeping with them. Herpes is very contagious, and you need to tell someone if you plan to ... (read in full...)
Second chances after a break up?
Q. Has anyone ever gotten back together with an ex and has it worked out? I just wonder because I mean, you and the guy (or girl) broke up for certain reasons... And later when you meet up again and feel the attraction and end up having feelings ...
A. 22 June 2010: There will be a few who have come back together and made it work. But the most don't make it work, for the reason you thought. The same problems will be there, and the same problems will never be solved because they caused you to break up once. ... (read in full...)
If he won't agree to a threesome with a guy, then why should I agree to one with a girl?
Q. okay so ive been with my boyfriend for a year so far and were very sexually active. on a regular basis we have sex about 3-5 times a week. and were open enough to talk about our fantasies in life n stuff, but i believe theres a HUGE problem. ...
A. 22 June 2010: Straight up, throw the idea of the threesome out the door. Right now. Don't even go through with it. I can just tell from this post that this will end up with you two splitting. He wants his way, but won't give you yours, so you won't let him have ... (read in full...)
Why do ex-wives always blame 'other women' for the dissolution/destruction of their marriage?!
Q. My boyfriend told me he was single when we first met. Then pretty soon I get a phone call from a woman claiming to be his wife! I confronted him- He said he didn't tell me he was married because they were already separated. He hasn't lived with her ...
A. 22 June 2010: I'm an outsider. Not divorced or anything like that. First up, it's easier to blame you than the husband. And let's be fair, it's not like you stopped the affair when you found out he was married. You didn't suddenly say that you had to stop it ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend keeps telling me about all the guys who like her
Q. me and girlfriend broke up beacus two resons i asked my best friend out a year ago and she said no but she was not my best friend at the moment i asked her and after i went out with my ex and ever since then she has trust issuse. also she move awa...
A. 22 June 2010: I think you should move on. I think this girl was hurt and worried because you asked a girl out, and when she said no, you became best friends with her. So your girlfriend probably felt that she was second best. She obviously has a few trust issues ... (read in full...)
My husband has moved in with an ex friend of mine, is it possible that they are really in love??
Q. I just found out that my husband, who moved out a couple of months ago, has just moved in with a woman who used to be a friend of mine. I ended my friendship with her about a year ago because I felt she was behaving inappropriately ...
A. 22 June 2010: It's possible. But it's often well known that a man who has an affair doesn't have lasting love with his mistress. Generally, the relationship starts to break down after a year or two because they realize that the only came together because of the ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with him again if he asks?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me last night on facebook and he wrote the following message to me: Um (my name)??? i have a problem real badly um three days ago I asked out(girls name)and she just now said yes Note: This was DURING our relationship...
A. 22 June 2010: Yes, you did. Keep men like that out of your life. ... (read in full...)
When a guy calls you at three in the morning...?
Q. I like this guy and he's called me at three in the morning, twice. I tell him everything, and he knows that I like him, and he tells me everything too, but we're not best friends. When he calls, he doesn't talk about anything sexual, and we just ...
A. 22 June 2010: Well since you're nearly 16, I'd suggest this is more of a booty call. ... (read in full...)
Where has she disappeared to?
Q. Well there is this girl, we dated for 2 months... this was because i had to leave the country. the day before my flight (she came to see me and we had sex) i was supposed to go see her later that night but then earlier that day a few friends came ...
A. 21 June 2010: The most likely thing is that to avoid pain, she cut contact and moved on. Let her go, because she's already gone. ... (read in full...)
Should I learn to trust him again and will he ever change?
Q. My ex is always trying to meet girls online and has been since 2008 when he was deployed. I didn't learn of this until a month after we started dating, in late 2009. Throughout our whole relationship, he was always on online dating sites trying to ...
A. 21 June 2010: Lesson 1 about men - We don't change 99% of the time. And for the 1% that we do, it's for ourselves and it is done over a long time (years).
He will always be the same man. He might adapt, and not go on the sites. But he will always be the man who ... (read in full...)
When a guy calls you at three in the morning...?
Q. I like this guy and he's called me at three in the morning, twice. I tell him everything, and he knows that I like him, and he tells me everything too, but we're not best friends. When he calls, he doesn't talk about anything sexual, and we just ...
A. 21 June 2010: Generally, when a guy speaks at 3 in the afternoon, he's interested in you as a girlfriend. 3 in the morning? More likely to be a bit of a booty call. That said, he's still a young guy and since he doesn't seem to go on about sex, it could be that ... (read in full...)
His ex has a new and improved face!!
Q. Guys, here's a question for you. My boyfriend's ex, with whom he was in a 4 year relationship with, has had major plastic surgery on her face since they broke up nearly 3 years ago. She has a new chin, and most recently, a new nose, a la Micha...
A. 21 June 2010: I seriously doubt it would affect any decent man. There's more to them breaking up than her looks, and her having a new face won't change who she is inside. I doubt it will have an effect on him at all. ... (read in full...)
Am I being too fussy?
Q. I could never date a non vegan, it doesn't matter how nice they are I just never could! Am I being ridiculous? Also why do people resent vegitarians and vegans? I have a few ideas why but would just like to know what you guys think!...
A. 21 June 2010: My mother and brother are vegetarians, and my sister and I are both meat eaters. We get along very nicely. I don't resent vegetarians or vegans at all. You'll find it very hard to find a guy who doesn't eat meat. But there must be a few. So if ... (read in full...)
What's this boy up to?
Q. im 15 and i got out with a boy in my year. he is so sweet and weve been dating for about 3 weeks now :) he chats to me for hours everytime he is on facebook or msn or anything, and we talk about everything. every time he has to go he says i love you ...
A. 21 June 2010: Because like a lot of young men, he's just worried about what his friends will say. Young teenage man don't make very good boyfriends to be honest.... (read in full...)
Should I meet this 43 year old online friend?
Q. On wednesday I'm supposed to meet up with a 43 year old man off this chat room, I'm just not sure if I want to. We first started talking when I was 16 and he really wanted to meet me and we would talk fir hours on the phone an skype etc, i dec...
A. 21 June 2010: Booked a hotel room near your home? You might not be thinking about sex. He is. And that's a fact. ... (read in full...)
Not much experience with boys, but the little I have tells me they are very confusing!
Q. Me and this Guy have become really close and we spend all our time together there. We have been really close for about 3 months. I really like him and from the way he acts I think he likes me to. Constantly flirting, texting 24/7 and around him I...
A. 21 June 2010: He's not being a player or anything. He's done nothing. That's the point. The one person you should be talking to is him. I think he does like you, but his friends have made a big deal out of it and now he's backed into a corner. To top it off, he's ... (read in full...)
My husband has been sending emails to an exgirlfriend on Facebook!
Q. iv been with my husband 4 years now and just a few weeks ago he got in contact with a ex girlfriend on facebook, i found emails they had been sending to each other saying they still loved each other and that he counldnt wait to see her again and ...
A. 21 June 2010: It's a pretty lame excuse, and even had the nerve to lie. He's guilty as hell and he knows it. So now you need to decide whether you want to be second best for the rest of your life knowing he loves another and might leave, or whether you'd be ... (read in full...)
Egoistical girlfriend...
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend for 7 months and she has a big ego! when i first met her, she just recently broke it off with a guy she was seeing. we started talking and ended up liking each other a lot. however, she indicated that she ...
A. 21 June 2010: I wouldn't even bother with her now. Sounds to me like you were the rebound. She's not listening now, so she won't later. Retain your dignity, end it with her and find a better woman. ... (read in full...)
Shd I stay or should I go?
Q. Should I stay or should I go? My husband and I have been together for 6 years, married for almost one. We both work, but I bring home double his pay. This is not something I ever bring up, but I know it crosses his mind regularly. I try to let ...
A. 21 June 2010: You need to slow down for the moment. You have no real proof of him cheating as such. There are some signs that could cause concern, but you really know nothing for certain and could be making a big mistake. However, his behaviour elsewhere is ... (read in full...)
"We're on a break"
Q. Mod note: Posters original title I have been with my girlfriend for seven years, and they have been great, hard at times but good has always out weighed the bad. Recently ww had a talk about her being unhappy and wantinf a break. Last week we decid...
A. 21 June 2010: You're on a break, she wanted that break. So it's up to her to come to you. Wait for her. ... (read in full...)
Should I meet this 43 year old online friend?
Q. On wednesday I'm supposed to meet up with a 43 year old man off this chat room, I'm just not sure if I want to. We first started talking when I was 16 and he really wanted to meet me and we would talk fir hours on the phone an skype etc, i dec...
A. 21 June 2010: This is really quite unsafe. You've never met him before, yet you're on the verge of meeting him? You don't really know whether he's married or not, and it seems as if he's out to just use yo. I just don't think this is a good idea. ... (read in full...)
I have dug myself a hole and I don't know how to get out...
Q. First off I'd like to say that I am here because I really need help. Despite your moral opinions of my situation, I'd appreciate it if you could keep your advice as constructive as possible. I currently go to college in Connecticut righ...
A. 21 June 2010: I think you're hurting somewhere else in your life, and I think right now you need to focus on yourself. You're playing two guys, and you've even admitted you've had bad relationships before. Neither guy is right for you at all, and the reason you ... (read in full...)
Why did he keep the naked pics?
Q. Y does my ex keep naked pictures of me in his cell phone if we r no longer together?...
A. 21 June 2010: He probably just gets a kick out of seeing you naked. I really wouldn't read too much into it. ... (read in full...)
Was my drink spiked?
Q. I was at the bar and I got really messed up. I ended up making out with 2 guys (I can't remember making out with one of them, my friend told me about it) and i have a boyfriend who i have never even come close to cheating on before, so this was ...
A. 21 June 2010: I'm with Cerebus. It doesn't sound like your drink was spiked, though there is a possibility of course. The date rape drug renders you unconscious for some time. You sound as if you were just very drunk and made some bad mistakes. I think you need ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend plays the blame game all the time! I think he needs counseling!
Q. i need a bit of advice. i'm not sure whether the word 'defensive' describes my boyfriend, but it's the only word i can use. he always plays the blame game with me and i'm just finding it really hard to communicate with him. whenever me and...
A. 21 June 2010: Stop being his mother, and start being his girlfriend. You've become a mother to him. You want ho help him, you're accepting unconditional blame, and he then goes on at you about 'all those things he's done'. He sounds like a spoilt toddler throwing ... (read in full...)
Is my relationship pretty much over?
Q. Is my relationship pretty much over? I dont know whats going on...my boyfriend is 31 and I'm only 21...and we've been living together for the past 8 months, and we've been dating for a little bit over a year. and all we've been doing lately is ...
A. 21 June 2010: Well, you've tried to talk to him, and he's not listened. And at 31, he really should be doing more with his life than just sitting at computers or visiting his friend. You're a young girl. Dump him and go have fun. You don't want to be old before ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with him again if he asks?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me last night on facebook and he wrote the following message to me: Um (my name)??? i have a problem real badly um three days ago I asked out(girls name)and she just now said yes Note: This was DURING our relationship...
A. 21 June 2010: NO!!! Come on, while he was with you he asked TWO other girls out. That's basically cheating. And then he has the nerve to want to remain friends? This guy is as low as they come. He has no idea about relationships, no idea about women and doesn't ... (read in full...)
What's this boy up to?
Q. im 15 and i got out with a boy in my year. he is so sweet and weve been dating for about 3 weeks now :) he chats to me for hours everytime he is on facebook or msn or anything, and we talk about everything. every time he has to go he says i love you ...
A. 21 June 2010: Okay, first of all, drop the whole 'ignore him and he will come' thing. There's not a man alive who will fall for that. If a guy can't make it, he just can't and you have to accept it. Fact is, he could't make it. So next time, don't make the ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
