| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Should I go out with him again if he asks?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me last night on facebook and he wrote the following message to me: Um (my name)??? i have a problem real badly um three days ago I asked out(girls name)and she just now said yes Note: This was DURING our relationship...
A. 22 June 2010: Yes, you did. Keep men like that out of your life. ... (read in full...)
Is my relationship pretty much over?
Q. Is my relationship pretty much over? I dont know whats going on...my boyfriend is 31 and I'm only 21...and we've been living together for the past 8 months, and we've been dating for a little bit over a year. and all we've been doing lately is ...
A. 21 June 2010: Well, you've tried to talk to him, and he's not listened. And at 31, he really should be doing more with his life than just sitting at computers or visiting his friend. You're a young girl. Dump him and go have fun. You don't want to be old before ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend or the guy: which should I choose?
Q. So i have the guy, and he's practically perfect. He flirts with others, but Im willing to give it a chance..maybe. My friend who just recently broke up with him, still loves him. She wont talk to me anymore. At one point in time, she was my ...
A. 21 June 2010: Well which do you want. You have a choice. Your friend, or him. That's your choice. Who do you want more? Who is expendable? Only you can answer that, not us. But what I can tell you is this. Many people have chosen a parter over a friend and come ... (read in full...)
No sex for 8 years, I'm going crazy!
Q. I'm lost i have been with my "man" for 12 years. we have a child together, a nice home, a buisness and a good relationship. problem is we have not had sex in 8 years! yes8!!!! no kisses no touches no nothing...it wasen't always like that the first 4 ...
A. 21 June 2010: Well, you've been very patient. I won't say leave, but I think you need to tell him straight that he must get it together, or you'll have to leave. Don't cheat, because that will make you look bad in everyone's eyes. You need to tell him this is now ... (read in full...)
He's got pictures of local, naked girls on his phone!
Q. My boyfriend left me on saturday, reasoning that he can't trust me after finding out that i kept a secret from my past. Yesterday he came back and i accepted him back coz i have a weakness for him. Today i learned that he is keeping pictures of ...
A. 21 June 2010: So the truth is, he has double standards and has wormed his way back into your life. Your past has nothing to do with him. But him taking pictures of naked local girls is serious. He may or may not be cheating, but it's pretty clear that he has no ... (read in full...)
Am I desperate?
Q. look, i like this boy but i moved far far far away....and theres this other boy who just doesnt want a girlfriend because of his studies...my friend reckons it is just excuses..but i dont know...im planning on meeeting with this other boy ...
A. 21 June 2010: You're opening yourself up to being used here. This other guy will just use you, and you'll be the one left hurt. ... (read in full...)
She said she'll leave my bff for me!
Q. hi im 25. my nieghbor who i have had a crush on for about 3 years seduced me and we had sex. she is amazin in bed and freakisly hot. shes really sweet and a great girl. she asked me if i wanted to go over to her house and watch a ovie i did. its ...
A. 21 June 2010: You have screwed your best friend in the most appalling manner, and been blind enough to allow this cheating woman to use you. She might well leave him. But then you lose your best friend, and you get his cheating girlfriend who will cheat on you. ... (read in full...)
How can I ever return after experiencing abuse?
Q. I left my husband and now he wants me to come back. He's been abusive and I'm having a hard time feeling reassured that things will be different. He told me that I should stick with him in good times and bad and let go of the past because after all ...
A. 21 June 2010: I urge you not to go back. Experiencing cancer is painful. Being an abusive husband is painful to your wife. In other words, the only person who has suffered pain is you. He's not shouldered any responsibility at all here, and his comment has proved ... (read in full...)
There's another man and she says she's distracted by him
Q. we met at the bus stop her car wrecked,my liesence suspended. shes alot younger by 10 yrs but we began to talk nand then see each other,we're both adopted and though we're very diffrent we loved each other and began to plan life together. we'd ...
A. 21 June 2010: I'd walk. I think it's clear she's cheating with this guy, and it is no longer up to you to prove you are worthy of her. It's her to her to come to you. You've worked on your own issues, and it's time now that you took another step and stood up for ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a girl sighs or breathes deeply around a particular guy?
Q. *OP's Original Title* So there's this girl and I think she likes me. Among the usual things (eye contact, glancing, shy when I talk to her .etc) she sometimes sighs or breathes deeply when she passes by me or is in my vicinity. She is also clumsy ....
A. 21 June 2010: Well she might like you. But there's only one real way to find out that's to talk to her. The signs do point to her liking you, but you won't know for sure unless you talk to her. ... (read in full...)
Weird grinding noises when I sit up!
Q. recently had a baby, got terrible back pains throughout the end of my pregnancy and now that i am trying to exercise again (baby is over 2 months now) i hear a weird clicking noise come from my back and it makes me wonder if there is something wrong ...
A. 21 June 2010: You should speak to your doctor if you're worried. I get grinding noises in my back, and I had an x-ray and such and nothing was wrong. It turns out that there was a lot of stress in my back. Given that you've got a baby inside you, it's something ... (read in full...)
Should we try marital counselling again?
Q. My husband and I have been separated for 3 weeks (married 2 years). For the last 6 months of our marriage it's been terrible. During that time we went through marital counseling and honestly it was not effective. My husband wants me to return ...
A. 21 June 2010: If he's not willing to get his own counselling for his own problems, then this just won't work out. Your friend is right. You two both do need counselling together as well. But it has to be said that your husband sounds like a very cold man. He ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop his sarcastic comments?
Q. What do you do when your boyfriend (of 7 years) won't stop with the sarcastic comments? He has comments about my stretch marks, saggy chest, belly, mommy pouch, butt, ect. (We have two kids, I am 26 years old) ALL the time, sometimes they s...
A. 21 June 2010: Because he has no respect for you and isn't listening. You can't make him change. This is who he is. So I think it's time you looked carefully at the relationship. ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend act like this around me?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have always been very close and share a deep bond. He is very loving and sweet. He has problems of his own though. He is struggling with a bad drug addiction and is staying with his dad who is very nasty to him. He is however ...
A. 21 June 2010: He's looking for a mother's love. I've got a feeling he sees you more as a parent than anything else. I'm not sure how healthy this relationship is overall, and I think you need to be very careful, given that he has a drug addiction as well. ... (read in full...)
Will he ask me to marry him one day?
Q. I Have been with my boyfriend for a year and half. We are expecting our first baby together and looking for somewhere to live. we are excited and very happy. he was slightly drunk the other night and he said to me he is thinking about marrying m...
A. 21 June 2010: It sounds like he will. But when, I don't know. ... (read in full...)
Problem bonding with my newborn son...
Q. Well I had my 2nd baby nearly 4 months ago now. My oldest is nearly two. the problem is i'm worried I havn't bonded properly with my newborn. I think part of it was to do with the fact that all through my pregnancy I was told i ws havng a girl - and ...
A. 21 June 2010: Of course you're not a hateful cow. A million miles from it. You look after him, you cry over what seems to be happening, you feel guilty. If you didn't love him you would feel none of that. I think there are a few things here that have just knocked ... (read in full...)
I know I should let sleeping dogs lie, but why was my husband sweet talking other girls in the beginning?
Q. Silly id be asking now but, its a question about my past i ocasionally find my self thinking about when i first started dateing my husband. He had a dirty habit of sweet talkin girls. He would have me on the phone and like as if i wasint there he ...
A. 21 June 2010: He was trying his luck because he needed his male ego to be stroked. That was all. He enjoyed the power. ... (read in full...)
Just curious, could an affair ever be justified for purely sexual satisfaction reasons?
Q. Please understand that I love my husband and have not cheated on him. The reason I am asking this is because I feel so conflicted at the moment I need impartial advice. I love my husband. He was my first (not only) lover and when we got married I...
A. 21 June 2010: No. Never. You'll totally screw your marriage up. We had a woman on here before who thought she'd had an affair for sexual reasons. She fell pregnant with her lover's baby. It screwed her marriage up beyond repair, and her lover promptly left her ... (read in full...)
How do I make my husband want to have sex?
Q. Hey every one ........... Need a lil advice on how to make my husband want to have sex with me. its bin 2 months now that i try to make the moves on him and he rejects them ive gone as far as going oral and he brushes me away by saying oo babe c...
A. 21 June 2010: He needs to visit a doctor. ... (read in full...)
Do men ever fall in love with their booty calls?
Q. Do guys ever actually like their "booty calls"? Or even fall in love with them?...
A. 21 June 2010: It's very, very unlikely. Frank's answer is a very good one. Pretty much sums it up. ... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend is cheating
Q. i think my girlfriend is cheating and does not really care bout me bcuz she changed from wen we first met. she doesnt call me really. she goes days sometimes she ignores my call. sometimes when were out ad people ask if we are together she says 'no ...
A. 21 June 2010: I think you should end it. If nothing else, there has been so much lying and she doesn't seem to be into you at all. I think you should just move on from her and find someone else who will actually care for you. ... (read in full...)
Help! Is this at all normal?
Q. Is it normal for men to get angry when we females refuse to have sex with them?...
A. 21 June 2010: It depends. How long have you been going out, and when was the last time you had sex? Because the answers I can give differ a lot. ... (read in full...)
I want out, but he won't let me leave!
Q. I'm in this 6 month relationship at this moment. My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. He tends to freak out over the smallest things or nothing at all. We started good until he accused me of cheating because someone else told him I'm ...
A. 21 June 2010: You have the strength right now. You've come for help, which is a great start. The next thing you need to do is talk to your parents, teachers and other adults who are around you and tell them that you want to end it but that he has threatened your ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with him again if he asks?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me last night on facebook and he wrote the following message to me: Um (my name)??? i have a problem real badly um three days ago I asked out(girls name)and she just now said yes Note: This was DURING our relationship...
A. 21 June 2010: NO!!! Come on, while he was with you he asked TWO other girls out. That's basically cheating. And then he has the nerve to want to remain friends? This guy is as low as they come. He has no idea about relationships, no idea about women and doesn't ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my best friend! How do I tell him?
Q. I developed an attraction to one of my best guy friends. he has a girlfriend but i think he likes me too. how do i find out and how do i tell himi like him?...
A. 21 June 2010: Sorry, but he has a girlfriend. If you say anything, you're disrespecting her, you're disrespecting your best friend and you'll get a bad reputation as a girl who steals other girls boyfriends. If he liked you, he would dump her by himself and come ... (read in full...)
I'm always worried she doesn't love me!
Q. Hi! I'm always not sure if my girlfriend loves me, I know she does! That is the sad part, she loves me so much but my insecurity is driving her nuts!! How do I just chill out and let her be. I really love her and we are special but I'm screwing...
A. 21 June 2010: I think you need to go to counselling and find out why you feel this way. You need to be seen doing something to get over this, and counselling really is the only way to get over this feeling. The alternative is that you'll lose her. There must be a ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for my teacher! What should I do?
Q. so i am falling for my teacher. he is 23 and i am 17. we will both be 24 and 18 respectively this year. i dont know what to do. i know it's wrong but i really like him. we have had some deep conversations and we really connect. i just dont know what ...
A. 21 June 2010: He's a teacher. You're a student. Take it further and it could wreck his career, even if you've left (it will still look bad for him). Enjoy your crush, but don't think anything will come of it other than trouble.... (read in full...)
How do I make my husband want to have sex?
Q. Hey every one ........... Need a lil advice on how to make my husband want to have sex with me. its bin 2 months now that i try to make the moves on him and he rejects them ive gone as far as going oral and he brushes me away by saying oo babe c...
A. 21 June 2010: Something is wrong when a young man (I'm assuming he's your age, by the way), is brushing his woman aside like that. He may have a medical problem or something like that. It's not you at all, it's clearly him. You need to talk to him about it ... (read in full...)
Should I move on or let him take his time?
Q. I NEED support + help! i am so in love and well alright well first of: he broke up with me and told me that he thinks he's hurting me too much and that i lie alot just because i dont want to talk about my past...second he tells me that he wants to ...
A. 21 June 2010: Yep, I was right before. I say your other post about him not talking as well. Now we know the whole story, it's even easier to offer you advice, You definitely need to move on from this guy. He has MAJOR insecurity issues.
First of all, your pas... (read in full...)
Should I just let him go and ignore my feelings?
Q. it feels like everything in my life is going wrong . and im so unhappy . i believe this is from me not being with the person i love . me nd my ex boyfriend broke up months ago . nd we still had a thing going on . but now we dont talk at all . i ...
A. 21 June 2010: I'm afraid he's made it clear that he is not interested at all. He's well and truly moved on. It's not a case of you ignoring your feelings. You need time away from him, so I'd suggest that you try to invite his friend to your house more. You must ... (read in full...)
How do you get better at sex?
Q. well me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time and it was okay but he is kinda taller than me and kinda bigger than me and he is a good guy but my question is How do u make sex better the second time because i get horny around him and its hard ...
A. 21 June 2010: Practice, practice and more practice. You get better by doing it more, by listening to each other and by experimenting. Have fun. ... (read in full...)
We're sleeping together, but he's with someone else!
Q. I been working with this company for a year…my coworker are really cool…One of them has become my closest guy friend, his gf broke up with him after 4 yrs in November of last yr…I was there for him through those tough times. In February of this yr I ...
A. 21 June 2010: You are being used and used and used here. I just know the moment this other girl opens up, you'll get the push. Why, oh why do women fall for the cheating man so much? There is nothing redeeming about this man at all. He's just a lying cheat. And ... (read in full...)
She let her ex stay at her house!
Q. I have been with my girl freind for 4 months now, She did tell me during our initial days that she is still good freinds with her ex, on saturday her ex and a few other common freinds had dinner while i was with my freinds watching a game, the ...
A. 21 June 2010: Being honest with you, I actually think there is cause for concern. It's one thing to be friends with an ex. But to have him around at the house when she knows she has a boyfriend is very tactless. I'm not convinced you should bother with her. I'm a ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive boyfriend for lying about drinking?
Q. Ok so i really need help. Me and my boyfriend had been dating for about 10 months and he is about to leave for the marines. Well the weekend before he left, we were in a little argument over something he did but nothing huge. recently we didnt even ...
A. 21 June 2010: You're making a big mistake, and it's the biggest mistake that a woman can make with a man. You're asking him to change. Lesson 1 with men, is that they won't change. Drinking is legal, and there is nothing wrong with it. There is also nothing wrong ... (read in full...)
New relationship, advice please!
Q. I've been in a relationship with this guy for a little bit short of a week now. I know that seems like a short period of time, and it is. But I feel like I shared a lot of myself already with this person, and of anyone else I feel like there's this ...
A. 21 June 2010: You're just nervous. You've just got into this relationship, and if it was your first kiss I'm assuming that he's your first boyfriend. Just explain to him that you're nervous and just want to take time and take it slow. If he's a good guy, he'll ... (read in full...)
Help! My wife found out about an affair I'd rather forget, how can I get her back now?
Q. F*^ and ! Sorry for my language but everything is horrible. The woman I had the affair with some how found me on the internet and sent me a message. Say how she wished the night ended differently and how even. Though it was only a couple mintues ...
A. 21 June 2010: Life can be a bitch. Just as you think you're in the clear and you've paid for your mistakes, it comes out and that's it. In a flash, it's over. What a mess. However, there are three things here that offer a glimmer of hope to an extent, though ... (read in full...)
Does he not want to take my virginity because he thinks I am not the one?
Q. My boyfriend is not a virgin, but he knows that I am. He is about five years older than me, but I don't know how many women he's been with... We sleep in the same bed, and we'll make out and get close to going all the way, but he'll stop and say ...
A. 21 June 2010: There are three reasons for a guy to act this way.
1 - He really does love you and wants to wait until he's ready and sure about how he feels. I.E. He doesn't' want to just use you.
2 - Sometimes, people get nervous about taking a person's... (read in full...)
Best friend to girlfriend?
Q. I've been bestfriends with this girl since 7th grade and we tried dating in 8th but it was too weird...we were texting one night and she said "sometimes i wonder why we never tried to date again,i mean you'd be the perfect guy for me cause i trust ...
A. 21 June 2010: You've found a girl who just wants to have her cake and eat it. No way is she worth your time. First up, she sounds disloyal to her boyfriend, which means that at some point she'd probably be disloyal to you. Secondly, it didn't work out before. ... (read in full...)
She won't have sex with me!
Q. hello, me and my girlfriend are having relationship problems and i need your advice. Me and her have been goin out for 5 months and i have been waiting for her to want a physical relationship with me but everytime we engage we only get as far as ...
A. 21 June 2010: At 16/17 years of age, she's may not be ready, and if she's a virgin, she may well be scared. Give her a break. If you try to have your way and dump her because she won't give it, you'll get a bad reputation as a man who just uses women. I not much ... (read in full...)
Is he still a virgin?
Q. So the other nite I had sex with a virgin...When we were doing it I felt kind of bad bcuz I wasnt a virgin. Knowing that I was taking his virginity was bad enough so I punkt out and stopped after while...So is he still a virgin?(if he didn't cum)...
A. 21 June 2010: He's not a virgin anymore. ... (read in full...)
She won't do any more physical stuff with me!
Q. Hey everyone, My girlfriend and i have a pretty physical relationship but of course it has died down some. I made it very romantic for her one time and since we both are completely free from our parents sometimes we have to go to the back of the c...
A. 21 June 2010: I suspect you'll find she just doesn't want to do it in the back of the car, and also wants to make sure you're not just using her for sex as well. You've got to step up and prove yourself as a boyfriend now, and not just a man she has sex with. ... (read in full...)
He dumped me, but says he doesn't want to lose me!
Q. Well...I just got dumped and was with the guy for almost a year it wouldve been a year next month on the 16 :( but me and him still keep in touch he tells me he loves me..I say the same but he tells me that he feels like i'm getting hurt to much by ...
A. 21 June 2010: Just cut all contact. Why would you want to play hard to get with a guy like this? Let him clear off. ... (read in full...)
He dumped me, but says he doesn't want to lose me!
Q. Well...I just got dumped and was with the guy for almost a year it wouldve been a year next month on the 16 :( but me and him still keep in touch he tells me he loves me..I say the same but he tells me that he feels like i'm getting hurt to much by ...
A. 21 June 2010: Of course you'll find someone better. You'll find many guys who are a lot better than him. ... (read in full...)
He dumped me, but says he doesn't want to lose me!
Q. Well...I just got dumped and was with the guy for almost a year it wouldve been a year next month on the 16 :( but me and him still keep in touch he tells me he loves me..I say the same but he tells me that he feels like i'm getting hurt to much by ...
A. 21 June 2010: Well, doesn't that just say it all? His whole response says everything you need to know about him. What a jackass. He can't just dump you then get huffy when you move on. Make a promise to yourself never to allow a man like this into your life ... (read in full...)
He dumped me, but says he doesn't want to lose me!
Q. Well...I just got dumped and was with the guy for almost a year it wouldve been a year next month on the 16 :( but me and him still keep in touch he tells me he loves me..I say the same but he tells me that he feels like i'm getting hurt to much by ...
A. 20 June 2010: I really wouldn't waste time if I were you. His bitchiness might not go away at all. ... (read in full...)
He dumped me, but says he doesn't want to lose me!
Q. Well...I just got dumped and was with the guy for almost a year it wouldve been a year next month on the 16 :( but me and him still keep in touch he tells me he loves me..I say the same but he tells me that he feels like i'm getting hurt to much by ...
A. 20 June 2010: End it and make it clear you don't want him in your life. You're Plan B. If he doesn't get someone else, he'll just come back to you and use you until he does. You can do better. After all, if he did care about you, he would still be with you. He's ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
