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My boyfriend breaks up then texts me, wants to have sex and then blows me off!

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 December 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 December 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me almost a month ago because he believed a relationship was not his best interest and I deserved better but still wanted us to be friends. It was a very emotional break up for the both of us. However, according to his friends he told them that I was smoothering him and had trust issues(Issues we have had in the past) not true. So a week after the break up we met up and talked and his whole attitude towards me had changed(he was cold and distant) and he refused to work things out and he contiuned to lie to my face about his whereabouts and the true reasons for our break up. So that night I decided to cut all ties with him,I deleted him off of fb, I deleted all of our pictures, I told him I was moving on with my life and to delete my number. First he kept calling and messaging me and I ignored him but eventually he agreed. So almost two weeks later he text me to wish me a merry Christmas and I text him back just being nice because it is Christmas lol The following day he apologizes for hurting me,insisted on still being apart of my life and wanted me to come over to have sex! I cursed him out and we began to argue about issues we had in the relationship and eventually he just says bye! After that he unfollowed me on instagram. I realized afterwards he most likely was trying to get under my skin but my thing is if you broke up with me and you are done with me why be friends and why continue to bother me?

View related questions: broke up, christmas, text

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (30 December 2015):

I think the only one who is hoping for something more is you. The point of cutting off someone is to actually try to move on, if only for self healing. He's only lied to you and showed you his bad side to the end and you need to realize this. Maybe he only bothers you because you linger around his bad behavior and he thinks he can get lucky with you.

No he's not trying to get under your skin, he's seemed pretty blunt about everything. Telling him you are moving on will not change him over night. Yes, he only wanted sex. He is right, that you do deserve better, at least someone who does not lie to you. It was good while it lasted but the two of you are not right for each other. It happens. Pick up the pieces and move on. The new year is coming. Don't waste more time sinking in the past. Do something fun and force your mind to be in a good place.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (30 December 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntGuys will do just about ANYTHING to get a girl to remove her clothes and put out for him....

Does that give you a better view of what he wants?????

Good lukc...

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (30 December 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntHe doesn't want to be friends with you, he wanted to have sex, and he sees remaining on a "friendly" basis with you as sex on tap when he wants it.

The fact he expected YOU to come over to is place for sex shows just how dumb he is, he didn't even bother trying to pretend it was anything more than that.

Block him on all social network sites, don't discuss him with friends, yours or his, if they try discussing him with you simply mention you dodged a speeding bullet and start talking about the weather.

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A female reader, ellsie96 United Kingdom +, writes (30 December 2015):

ellsie96 agony auntIn the relationship, who would you say 'wore the pants'? Like was he more in control or you?

To me it sounds like this guy loved having you around to remind him how awesome he was that someone was interested in him. He probably took you for granted and thought that he could have you whenever he wanted, and that breaking up wasn't permanent because he had you wrapped around his little finger and could just call and you'd come running.

But when you fought back, tried to hold him accountable for his actions and didn't let him walk all over you he thought "hold up, I still want her! Who is going to cradle my poor ego and love me and make me feel special? I must keep her strung along"

So that explains why he began calling and texting and trying to get you back, or at least have sex with you, to keep you involved and ensure you couldn't get control of your life and move on.

This guy is a loser and is stupid for trying to control you. Let him go, forget about him and find someone who is worth your time because you deserve much better :)

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