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Newly single, confused and need help! Does it sound like he has any interest in me outside of friendship?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Long distance, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 October 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi all,

I'm newly single and had been in a 10 year relationship since I was 18. I'm the first to admit that I'm not sure what I'm doing when it comes to men as I haven't dated my entire adult life.

I recently met a man whilst on a business trip. He is slightly younger and works in a similar environment. I was instantly attracted to him and we spent the night together (no sexual activity although he would have had I been receptive).

Since then (10 weeks ago) we've maintained communication. At first we texted once every day, now it's once every couple of days.

There would be times if I hadn't had a reply from him I'd send him another message if something popped into my head. I thought nothing of this as I was texting him the way I would a friend. Like I said, after 10 years of a relationship, I'm lost with all these rules.

Sometimes he seems flirty, other times friendly. He's told me a lot about himself and asks me questions a lot too. I feel we're developing a friendship, but I'm also attracted to him a lot.

Only once did the conversation seem to come to an end with no questions left unanswered. He began a new conversation two days later.

We live in different cities but will be in the same city in two weeks.

I suppose my question is: does it sound like he has any interest in me outside of friendship?

Thank you in advance!

View related questions: flirt, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2015):

Thanks for the reply.

I suspect you're right regarding the interest and distance. I myself am not, and was not, seeking something long-distance. I don't think I'd be very good with it. I am very surprised we've kept in touch, although I am happy about it.

I'm not sure what you mean about taking the bait? I was never using these messages as bait - only if I seen something that made me think of him or something we had been talking about. This only happened once or twice, but I would send him a quick picture or link to an article. He always replies, as well as initiating, and never leaves things closed - always asks questions etc.

We've never spoken about defining anything, and I am very glad of this. On the same token, we don't talk about other romantic interests. I just assume he has them, and he must do the same for me. It's just I'm still to meet someone else that gives me the instant butterflies that he did.

As I'm not long out of a long-term relationship, I'm also not on the lookout for the next one. I'm still discovering who I am at this age as a single person.

The longer this goes on, however, the more confused I'm becoming. I'm just not sure if he thinks of me as a friend.

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (29 October 2015):

There might be interest but you guys might be too far away to upkeep the interest. Messaging him randomly when stuff pops into your head is cute but it doesn't seem like he is taking the bait on that one. It doesn't seem like he has any interest in being with you, at least long distance. You should back off and just date others, there isn't a reason why you can't do that. Keep to your standards and don't be pressured into anything. Keep dating!

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