A
female
age
30-35,
*orriedgirl2012
writes:I'm 23, about to be 24 and have had a tricky time navigating adult life. I've joined many new groups, gotten involved in church, have a good job and my own place. I have a good group of friends, but I'm the only single one. I've explored some dating apps with not much luck. Whenever I tell any of my single friend about these apps, they get on and meet somebody great that they end up seriously dating. It makes me so jealous because I want to be a supportive friend and listen, but hearing about their dates and the flirting is hard. I really want someone else who stays single because I tend to get dumped when the friend starts dating. It's hard to keep getting ditched and have no luck with my own love life. My most single current friend had great luck on the app and is really into the guy she met. They're pretty close to becoming official and more serious. She promises she won't ditch me, but I guess I resent it because I feel like I'm always alone. I've had a couple serious relationships, none very good, but my friends were of course single when I was dating. What do I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2016): I suggest joining a Baptist Church. Go to an AA meeting. Flirt with every man you find attractive.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2016): Sorry to hear that, my dear. Now let me give you something to think about. You're spending too much time worrying about what other people have, comparing yourself to your friends, and being jealous. You're not focusing on your own attitude.
Sweetheart, you're only 23! You've got a life-time ahead of you; and destiny may have something she wants from you. There may be a calling for you that has to postpone that part of your life just for a little while. You don't see it yet, but meditate and introspect on your life. Be more positive in your outlook. You shouldn't want a man because they have one, you want a man because you want to have romance in your life. He should have the best you have to offer, not some bitter frustrated young lady jealous of her friends. When your turn comes, do you want them to be glad for you, or jealous? Well, maybe a little jealous! I'll give you that. But you've got to be prepared for it.
Jealousy taints life and it makes us unnecessarily unhappy.
Leave envy out of it. Focus on you and enjoying life as a single person. You are completely independent, you do exactly what you want to do when you want to, and you have no drama in your life unless YOU cause it. Life is giving you a little more time to make some tweaks and refinements before presenting you with someone special.
Trust me, he's in the making. I got dumped, and there was a period when I was feeling just like you. Three years went by, and I bumped into him out of nowhere. It has been two years since, and he's lying at the foot of my bed right now, while I write this play a game on his smartphone.
Yes they may get a lot of dates, but someone may come your way that comes only once in a life-time. Being bitter will deflect him; because being desperate or frustrated gives-off bad vibes. Positive people are more attractive.
Don't believe me? Try a little experiment. If I'm wrong, comeback and make me eat crow. Stop worrying about what your friends have. It always looks better on the outside than on the inside.
BTW, they know you're jealous. They'll play it up, just for your benefit. Just to rub your jealous nose in it. They'd rather you'd be happy for them. So they can be happy for you when your time comes.
Read this a couple of times. Just think about it.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (16 July 2016):
If you want a friend who stays single, then you may as well learn to be happy being single.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2016): In the future keep any mention of the apps from your single friends. and your friends are just part time friends if they dump you when they start dating so maybe you need an app to find better friends. If your current bestie isn’t official yet with the guy and has promised not to dump you then dont borrow worry as my mom-mom used to say.What you do is work on being a good friend and when you do find a guy remember that you shouldn’t dump your single girl friends. You will find a guy you’re young and focused. just be yourself and when you aren’t looking bam the right guy will show up.you say you have a good group of friends tho so they haven’t all ditched you. It’s ebbs and flows. so relax and remember how you feel now when mr. awesome shows up. And he will if you just keep on keepin on, ya know
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (15 July 2016):
 Learn to like being alone.... I don't mean that for life, just do things you enjoy without having to have friends with you every time.
Ask your friends if they have any suggestions as to why you may not have success in the apps. It's possible your profile is needy or dull, or you're too picky, etc.
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