A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I realize i was only infatuated with my ex husband. I never loved him. Being a college grad and coming out of my parental reclusiveness, i released myself to passionate moments. I knew i did wrong because my mother always imposed the rule of marrying as a virgin. But i was already secretly intimate with him. I doubted he'd marry me so i decided to get pregnant against his will. He married me but he was really resentful. We lived together but in the end, he walked out on me. I lived angry with him. Because of that, i didn't eant to see him. Stupidly (as i now realized) i secluded my son from him. I am embarrassed to admit that i even told my two year old (at that time) not to call him dad. Big damn mistake. I am so angry at myselfacebook that i want to retake everything but it's too late. When he had visitation, my ex would randomly call out or not show up at all.One day he had an unsupervised visitation only to bring my infant son with a bruised eye. I honestly felt he didn't care. He was already moving on. A couple of years ago, my ex sent an email stating that he has a new family and wont be seeing my son till further motice. Five years later and he is a no show in everything that has to do with my son. No birthday no Christmas no calls nothing. It's almost as if my son died to him. Meanwhile he flaunts himself in facebook with his new child and married life. I look back on myself and blame myself for all this. I hate what I've done. I shouldn't have done that. I regrett everything. I feel sorry for my son. I can't live with myself. Now that i am older i realize many things. I learned things i didn't know before. I haven't been able to move on with my life since the divorce. Ive dedicated my life to my son who is a young man. I am still hurting for my actions. How can i overcome this terrible feeling?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2016): Focus on breaking the patterns that all this is setting into place. Parents in your shoes usually want VERY MUCH to make SURE their kids don't repeat their mistakes. But their attitude often fails. Look at your parents. They made a big stink about you living the classic moral chaste life. Their vision for you was probably not to baby-trap some jerk and end up a divorced single mom. Their best laid plans totally backfired. Push a kid too hard in any certain direction and eventually it might blow up in your face. But if you don't push enough it might go wrong too. The right attitude is BALANCE. Your son has you and his father's genes. He is growing up with a whole lot of mothering from you and no fathering from anyone. That predisposes him to certain mistakes. Learn what those mistakes are and watch out extra hard for it. But don't go too far. Don't treat him like he has already made mistakes when he has not. Be watchful but not overbearing. It's very difficult to get it all just right.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (21 July 2016):
Life has brought you to school...and you passed. How did you pass?
"Now that i am older i realize many things. I learned things i didn't know before."
This is what life is all about. Learning from your mistakes and doing better the next time around. If you had no regret, still holding on to the anger, pain, and resentment...FAIL!!!
Life is done for now...class dismiss. So the only thing holding you back...is you.
Life wants to see what you do with this lesson. Do you make the same mistakes again? Or do you apply what you have learned.?
Only way to find out....GO live the life you are fortunate to have. Keep you eyes open, and keep watch on yourself to make sure you are living what you have learned.
What is the fastest way from Sad to Happy??? Taking the first step in that direction. :))
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (19 July 2016):
Some things can not be undone and you have to learn to live with it. You would have to very well live with it for the rest of your life. I too, feel very sorry for your son because things could have been better, if only he was put first. But sooner than later, he will realize that you have to do the best with what is given to you. Such is life.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 July 2016):
 You need to go and see a therapist. Yes what you did all that time ago was wrong, you realized you made mistakes and you tried to get your ex to see your son but he also rejected him, if I am being honest the both of you played a part in him not growing up with a father. You cannot take all the blame. You should give yourself credit you raised him in to the man that he is today. I really think you should book yourself in to talk to a therapist because you are holding on to a lot of old issues and it really is just going to make you feel ill, you need to find a way of letting it go.
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