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Should I not bother meeting him?

Tagged as: Long distance, Online dating, Social Media<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 October 2016) 12 Answers - (Newest, 14 October 2016)
A female Turkey age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I met a man on Facebook and we're meeting up this week.The problem is he is French and lives in Quebec. He speaks broken English from what I've gathered through text messages. English and French isn't my first launguage either but I live in Canada ,but I speak enough English well enough to communicate effectively with others.I'm already having hard time understanding some of his texts and often have to guess what he is trying to say.

I asked him if he has skype to video chat,so that way I know he is saying who he is.He says,his internet contact is expensive. Then I suggested we talk on the phone so I can get idea how the conversation will flow in person ... he said sure.We set to talk at 7pm but when I texted him to ask If he is ready to talk,he never responded. I'm kind of annoyed that he didn't keep our promise.Should I just not bother?I am already having reservations about him

And he wants me to drive to his city ,in Quebec instead of him coming down here.It's a 30 minute drive..We're meeting up for a coffee.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 October 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI would just ignore the calls too.

You can however block him on your Facebook, which I would so asap.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks you guys for your insights.And yea,I'm going to write off this one.He has come up with excuse after excuse to not chat with you by Skype or even on the phone.He also not willing to meet me in the middle, expecting me to drive all the way to his city. Adding the language barrier, it doesn't look too promising

That being said,He kept messaging me asking why I was not replying to him.I told him that I don't think it's going to work out...Now he is saying "why"Is it because I didn't call you''

Unfortunately I can't block numbers on my phone so I'll just ignore further text from him

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 October 2016):

Honeypie agony auntHe waited til the next day to contact you. So really how "sorry" was he?

And how certain can you be that he would show if you drove all the way to Quebec?

I'd just block him. He is wasting your time.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (13 October 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI would stay well clear, there are red flags everywhere here.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Update

He just sent me a message this morning and said "I'm real sorry,I miss your call."I feel cheap,Are you mad"

I don't ,I still feel like this is more trouble than what it's worth and it wouldn't work long-term even if he's saying who he is.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 October 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI'd just block him. It doesn't seem like there is a WHOLE lot of things you two have in common, least of all... the language.

And IF the agreement was for you/him to call and it was just ignored, how will you know he actually shows up for the meeting in person?

I have a CHEAP phone and connection and I can Skype no problem. He could also go to a public library and Skype from there. If he can't afford to talk on the phone or Skype... and he is asking YOU to make the drive to his area... Can he really afford to date someone or would YOU be the one the pau for everything?

Honestly? It sounds like a catfish. I'd skip this one.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (13 October 2016):

chigirl agony auntI wouldn't go. If he can't be bothered to keep his agreement on talking over the phone, and doesn't even respond to you when you asked to talk to him, then that to me says it all. I think he is just playing you and not being serious, and probably talking to many other women at the same time, asking all of them to come to his city. He probably wants one out of two things: either sex or money. If he already complains his internet connection is expensive (which I believe is a lie) then I think he will be asking you for money.

Don't go. If he was serious he would have talked to you over the phone, if not over skype.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (13 October 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt Yeah, don't bother. It was rude of him to give you a Skype appointment and than disappearing without even a " sorry no can do ". I don't think you should reward rudeness by taking the pain of driving all the way to his place.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (13 October 2016):

N91 agony auntI wouldn't waste my time, sounds like he's probably not who he says he is. How can he not have time to speak on the phone then expect you to find the time to drive and meet him?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2016):

Clearly he is trying to hide his identity. He could be married and he wants to meet you in the hope of building an affair with you. If I were you I would ignore him. He could even be dangerous if he doesnt want to leave any trace of himself on your computer such as his picture or his voice record.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (13 October 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntEvery gut feeling in me screams DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!

The distance and language barriers aside, if he won't speak to you on the phone even, let alone Skype you, what is to say he will be there when you turn up? Everything about this sounds & feels so wrong.

If you do decide to go, PLEASE be careful. Can you take someone with you if you do go?

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (13 October 2016):

If he can't find the time to talk to you on the phone, I am not sure what is the point in meeting him. You will do everything and he will do nothing?

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