A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please help me understand his thoughts.I can't seem to be able to talk to my boyfriend about work related things. I'm senior management and when talking to my boyfriend about taking on new tasks or training/motivating my team, his one and only response to me is "You're taking on new tasks, you should ask for a raise." Or, "Hopefully soon you will get a review and the company will give you a raise". I keep explaining to him that sometimes it's not about a raise, rather an opportunity for advancement or to learn new things. He doesn't understand that. Why is he only focused on the money?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 September 2016):
 He is looking at it from his point of view, which is okay as it is his opinion. He is different to you, wired up to think about the financial side of things while you think about opportunity and wanting to learn more. It is okay to think differently. I can see why it can get annoying if you are trying to tell him how you feel. Gently explain to him for you it is about experience not money and ask him to listen not judge.
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (27 September 2016):
Some people keep work as work there money you earn should equate to the effort one puts in. I don't think something is wrong with that thinking, it is just his perspective and perhaps his own wish for you. Your perspective is also good, and there isn't anything wrong with it. It is just a difference of opinion, try to not get offended, I dont think he is trying to attack you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 September 2016):
 He sounds annoying. My ex was also focused on money, and each time I had a job interview he always told me to ask for a high salary, and the number he told me to ask for was waaaaay above what I knew they would be offering. Yet he pestered me about it, and I gave in and asked for it. Didn't get that job, and to this day I regret listening to him instead of to my own gut.
Tell him you don't want to hear him mention money again, and that you'd like his input on other aspects of your job.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 September 2016):
 I agree with Cindy.
He is looking at it from HIS perspective, not yours. And... let's face it, MEN are definitely "better" at asking for a raise and they (in general) expect to be paid more, the more they put into their job. Whereas women want to be GOOD at their job, men want to be paid well.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 September 2016):
 Banal answer but... because he is not you. Maybe he sees things, and the idea of work itself, differently.
Some people ( many alas ) don't get to do anything they are passionate about, or worse they are stick in jobs they dislike, so work is a lesser evil and just what puts food on the table, and they do not understand how other people can be instead very passionate and involved in what they do.
Some people are not ambitious, not competitive, not go getters - they do well what they are paid for, but stay away from anything that smells of extra effort , extra responsibilities, extra presssure
Some people just get their kicks, and realization , and satisfaction, from their leisure time out of work, and there's nothing they could learn or achieve on the job which will please them as much as , say, the results they get at the gym, or the long walks with their dog, or re-reading The Lord of the Rings all in one day.
Different strokes for different people.
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