I'm feeling insecure in the relationship since boyfriend likes watching transsexuals
Q. I have been researching this a lot but just wanted more feedback as I'm feeling unsure still. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we live together. We have s good sex life and are very happy. The first thing I found out about was that he ...
A. 11 February 2015: Well, my own husband loves all of those things. He's just a kinky guy, lol. It doesn't bother me, and we are super honest with each other. I personally have no fears or worries over it.
That said, my husband is NOT your guy. And your guy is NOT y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that I have betrayed his trust because of a message on my social media
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over 3 years(I'm 29, he's 31) I work in health care and watch a client of mine at his house to make some extra cash. A man who lives at the house with the client and is around my age, we have developed a platonic ...
A. 10 February 2015: This is my point exactly- the fact that he wants to go to her place of employment and "confront" (not MEET) this guy is a huge red flag for me that he doesn't know how to behave appropriately, therefore I believe any meeting should be on neutral ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that I have betrayed his trust because of a message on my social media
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over 3 years(I'm 29, he's 31) I work in health care and watch a client of mine at his house to make some extra cash. A man who lives at the house with the client and is around my age, we have developed a platonic ...
A. 10 February 2015: And I really meant that, lol! ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that I have betrayed his trust because of a message on my social media
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over 3 years(I'm 29, he's 31) I work in health care and watch a client of mine at his house to make some extra cash. A man who lives at the house with the client and is around my age, we have developed a platonic ...
A. 10 February 2015: I have to disagree with the others. It sounds like your boyfriend is quite irrational right now, and if he takes you over there I fear a confrontation that could put your job in jeopardy. In my opinion the only way this is viable is if you can get ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that I have betrayed his trust because of a message on my social media
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over 3 years(I'm 29, he's 31) I work in health care and watch a client of mine at his house to make some extra cash. A man who lives at the house with the client and is around my age, we have developed a platonic ...
A. 10 February 2015: I have to disagree with the others. It sounds like your boyfriend is quite irrational right now, and if he takes you over there I fear a confrontation that could put your job in jeopardy. In my opinion the only way this is viable is if you can get ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that I have betrayed his trust because of a message on my social media
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over 3 years(I'm 29, he's 31) I work in health care and watch a client of mine at his house to make some extra cash. A man who lives at the house with the client and is around my age, we have developed a platonic ...
A. 10 February 2015: I have to disagree with the others. It sounds like your boyfriend is quite irrational right now, and if he takes you over there I fear a confrontation that could put your job in jeopardy. In my opinion the only way this is viable is if you can get ... (read in full...)
"What kind of words I can use to tell a girl face to face "in a seductive way" that I wanna date her?
Q. Hi guys! My name's Jimmy, I'm 37 and I'm still single. I had a little number of girlfriends (about 4) and all of them were from out of my city. I'm a very good lover (good in the sack! lol) and they love that! I' a gentleman, I know how to express ...
A. 7 February 2015: Jimmy, with all due respect for the tigers blood running through your veins, you seem a bit socially awkward.
You don't "seductively" ask a woman on a date. That's just dorky. You act interested in her (in HER, not just her looks) and then, if... (read in full...)
I don't like my boyfriend going to his ex's house!
Q. Hi everyone, my bf has 3 kids wit his ex. The youngest is only 5 months. They were split up while she was pregnant. Her choice as well as his. Sometimes he goes to the house to look after the kids. He says she goes out while he is there. I am not ...
A. 7 February 2015: His ex is going to be a part of his life for the next 18 years minimum. You'd better get used to this.
Suck up that jealousy. Those are his children and they come before you.... (read in full...)
How can we minimise the drama caused by us getting together?
Q. oh god, please help me. I have been in a relationship for 6 months, and things came to a fairly natural end, however, towards the end of the relationship, i developed feelings for a very recently close friend. We get on amazingly well, talking fo...
A. 4 February 2015: No, don't lie low.
If you do you will be at the mercy of people who love to gossip.
Just be upfront and honest with people. It is only as big of a deal as you make it.... (read in full...)
How important is the online photo?
Q. been single for 5 years and now making a big effort to find someone. I have hated the idea of online dating and had some rubbish experiences 4 years ago, but now I am trying it out with a different perspective. I am a very private person and don'...
A. 4 February 2015: Fake picture is a big no-no. Even if you tell them it is fake.
If you are going to date online, you need to be bold enough to be truthful. AND to not be ashamed of what you do for a living. I'm sure there are men in your field that feel similarl... (read in full...)
Six months into the relationship I find out she lied. How do we move on from this?
Q. Just looking for opinions what other guys would do in my position. Basically me and my girlfriend have been together 6 months, in the early stages of the relationship there was rumours had she sent pics of herself in underwear to a guy she had be...
A. 4 February 2015: Oh good lord. Are you an adult, or a middle schooler? Your post says you are over 30, did you click the wrong button? ... (read in full...)
First partners and oral sex?
Q. When you dated your first boyfriend, did you give him oral sex?...
A. 4 February 2015: Yes. But I was a late bloomer. ... (read in full...)
I found out he lied about having a girlfriend, does that mean he isn't serious about her?
Q. Hi Agony people! I met this guy the other day and he seemed nice and chatty. He told me he was a year younger than he actually is too. I asked him on the qt unknownst to him if he had a girlfriend and he sad no. I thought he was geniune and a really ...
A. 4 February 2015: You barely know the guy and he has already told you two major lies?
Who cares whether or not he loves her? RUN! ... (read in full...)
My husband wears his stinky socks, and wears them and wears them and wears them!
Q. My husband wears his thermal underwear for 3 or more days in a row and after wearing them all day, will also wear them to bed. He will also wear his stinky socks and take them off and leave them by the bed and put them back on in the morning. I ...
A. 4 February 2015: Very very good point from WiseOwl.
I do agree with you, OP, that he should listen and take your feelings into consideration. But some things are dealbreakers and some are not. The reason I said I'd toss my husband's socks in the laundry, lay out ... (read in full...)
My husband wears his stinky socks, and wears them and wears them and wears them!
Q. My husband wears his thermal underwear for 3 or more days in a row and after wearing them all day, will also wear them to bed. He will also wear his stinky socks and take them off and leave them by the bed and put them back on in the morning. I ...
A. 3 February 2015: You don't mention whether you have spoken to him about the socks. Have you? How many times? If not, why not? And just how bad are they? How do you communicate? If it were me I'd say "honey, EW!", grab them, toss them in the laundry, set a fresh pair ... (read in full...)
His extreme jealousy is straining our relationship
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and everything between us is great apart from the fact whenever I am near another guy, he goes off on one and tells the guy to save anyway from me. It doesn't happen all the time, but in the past ...
A. 31 January 2015: You need to get away from him. He will stifle everything about you that makes you...YOU!
Is this how you want to live? ... (read in full...)
Would a man stay with a woman for nearly 4 years if he didn't love her?
Q. If your were scared of commitment, would you be with someone for nearly four years. but not live with her. Get close and then pull away again and then repeat. Despite illness on both sides, the rows maybe a couple days of calming down but...
A. 31 January 2015: Yup. People do this every day. I spent nearly five years with a man who quite literally beat and raped me on a regular basis. Why? Didn't think I deserved any better.
People often stay in relationships for all the wrong reasons. I fell out of l... (read in full...)
How can I stop making my current boyfriend pay for the sins of my ex-boyfriend?
Q. [MOD NOTE - OP's title] My last boyfriend cheated on me and broke my heart. I never want to go through that kind of pain ever again. Because of this, I am having a very hard time trusting my current boyfriend. My boyfriend has done nothi...
A. 28 January 2015: Well, his patience WILL wear out and you WILL lose him if you don't knock it off.
I'm glad you realize that what you're doing to him is wrong, so that's the first step. The next step is to stop it, immediately. Stop relying on him to defend h... (read in full...)
I had considered asking if she would let me masturbate to her but I don't want to come across as a creep. Is there another alternative?
Q. Hi. I am stuck and am open to advice. My cousin and I have been close as "brother-sister" while growing up. She is a few years older then me but we are both in our twenties. I have always had a crush on her but when we were teenagers while ...
A. 27 January 2015: Dude, the idea of having someone you have a brother sister relationship with jacking off to you is not pleasant or flattering. It is creepy and gross.
Your fantasies are yours and yours alone. Keep them to yourself and stop telling her about it... (read in full...)
Does he not appreciate my virginity?
Q. My boyfriend and I have very different sexual backgrounds: he has had many partners but I have never had sex with any of the people I have dated. I'm 23 and I have always wanted to have sex with "the one" aka the person who loves me to death and I ...
A. 27 January 2015: I fully agree with the others, you need to get over this notion that you are some precious little diamond just because you're a virgin.
It really sounds like you see yourself as soooo morally superior to those "sluts" that actually had sex with... (read in full...)
Husband continues to swing, refuses to stop
Q. Ok long story short... we started swinging about a year into our marriage. He did tell me, prior to our marriage, he was a swinger in his past relationships but led me to believe he could be happy without it. I am an open minded person so I agreed ...
A. 27 January 2015: He's not cut out for monogamy.
You have a really hard decision to make, I do not believe he is going to stop. You have to decide whether you can live with this behavior.
I couldn't, I love my husband too much. I'd have to get away and try to ... (read in full...)
She had oral sex before we got married and I just found this out! Was she a virgin?
Q. I am 30 years old and been married for 9 years. I was a virgin when we got married and she told me she was the same. Till after 8 years of marriage and 3 kids later she tells me that she gave out 20 or 30 blowjobs to two guys before me and she said ...
A. 24 January 2015: Yes, she was still a virgin.
Having a history is not a betrayal, but if she lied to you all of these years then that certainly is, and that is the part you need to focus on. I do not believe you should punish her for her history, but I do think... (read in full...)
How do I get this girl out my head?
Q. I have been married to my wife for 11 years and I do love her we have a child together. The last 8 months I have had another women on mind 24.7. I met her through work well she's a client not a co-worker. The girl is beautiful and in her late 20s ...
A. 24 January 2015: She probably avoids you because she is getting creeper vibes off of you and you cannot control your flirting. She is clearly not comfortable with it and probably knows you are married and thinks you are much too old for her.
Be a man and act like... (read in full...)
I want him to realize what he lost and change for me
Q. [OP's original title] I and my ex were together 5.5 years. We had some problems in december cause he get a new job so he wanted to hang out more with his coworkers including admins(girls).last saturday, first time after a month saw each other an...
A. 23 January 2015: Lesson number one: you can't change people so don't bother trying.
Lesson number two: you don't have the right to demand who adults can talk to, even if you are dating them.
You are broken up, move on and stop stalking him on social media. ... (read in full...)
How do I let my boyfriend know that I like it when he looks and dresses a certain way?
Q. I am dating a guy I am not physically attracted to. We were friends for years but lost touch. Eventually we got back in touch recently and he asked me out. I said yes because he is a great guy-sweet, kind, caring, warm etc. I actually can not say ...
A. 23 January 2015: What chigirl said, exactly. ... (read in full...)
I feel like I might be doing something wrong but I'm not sure. I need perspective.
Q. Two weekends ago my buddy and I were out at bar having drinks, we are both police officers and were off duty at he time, when we decided to leave we took a short cut around back and saw two guys trying get a very drunk young girl in their car she ...
A. 23 January 2015: As long as you are kind, respectful, and genuine, I do not see the problem. As Dan savage would say, be sure to leave her in better condition than you found her. Create no trauma for her. Be mindful of the fact that she isn't as experienced in the ... (read in full...)
I told him no contact and I blocked him, but he got mad. Should I unblock him to send him one last message?
Q. I started No Contact on Sunday so that I could start healing from my ex (of 10 months). Before cutting him off, I sent a one liner email saying "I wish you the best." Then blocked him on Facebook and erased him from my messenger contact list. ...
A. 23 January 2015: I agree with the others, he knows why you broke up and he just wants to whine about it.
In the long run, it is probably best for both of you if you don't play into it.... (read in full...)
I told him no contact and I blocked him, but he got mad. Should I unblock him to send him one last message?
Q. I started No Contact on Sunday so that I could start healing from my ex (of 10 months). Before cutting him off, I sent a one liner email saying "I wish you the best." Then blocked him on Facebook and erased him from my messenger contact list. ...
A. 23 January 2015: Not enough information to give a good answer.
In order to give the best advice, we need to know more about the nature of the relationship. Was he abusive? Or too much of a nice guy for your tastes? Did he cheat? Did you?
My answer would var... (read in full...)
He was in a FWB a few years ago with an older woman. How can I get over my disgust at what he did in the past?
Q. My 27-year-old boyfriend went through a really rough time in his life a few years ago, which led him to make a huge mistake. He let this woman (10-15 years older than him) to throw herself at him and spend money on him just so that she could have ...
A. 22 January 2015: You are so obsessed with this, it is extremely unhealthy. That relationship is long over. I'll say it again, let it go or let HIM go.... (read in full...)
I have a problem with excessive jealousy and I want to stop!
Q. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 22. He is the best boyfriend I've ever had and my family loves him and thinks so, too. I'm his first girlfriend. He treats me so well that I never have any doubts that he loves me. I love him very much and we're each oth...
A. 22 January 2015: Eh, it doesn't sound too excessive to me. It sounds like a young, inexperienced (yes, don't take offense but you are still inexperienced despite having previous relationships) woman who is experiencing natural territorial feelings towards the first ... (read in full...)
He was in a FWB a few years ago with an older woman. How can I get over my disgust at what he did in the past?
Q. My 27-year-old boyfriend went through a really rough time in his life a few years ago, which led him to make a huge mistake. He let this woman (10-15 years older than him) to throw herself at him and spend money on him just so that she could have ...
A. 21 January 2015: Oh, my goodness, you really need to leave the poor guy alone over this. Seriously, what do you expect him to do, hop in his time machine and go back and have a re-do? Why are you punishing him mercilessly for something he did BEFORE YOU EVEN MET ... (read in full...)
Brother-in-law is a pedophile and sister hid it from the family resulting in chaos
Q. My sister lives 6 hours away and we use to be close as children. When ever she is back in our home town 2x a year her and her husband and me and my betrothed hung out for a couple of hours and got dinner etc. My fiancé got to liking my sister and ...
A. 21 January 2015: Sorry wiseowl, you're way off on this one.
The guy is an active predator, the sister is an enabler and a Pollyanna, and his wife is absolutely correct. ... (read in full...)
Am I doing anything wrong? I like a married man and he likes me.
Q. please advise:- I like a married man, he likes me too. we share intimacy like few kisses/smooches /holding hands etc but not physically involved beyond that extent. we like each others company he is a top level guy in my office and I've been emp...
A. 20 January 2015: Of course you are doing something wrong, he is being a cad and so are you.
Leave married men be and find someone who is available. ... (read in full...)
Why do girls always come and tell me how attractive some guy is?
Q. About half of my friends are females. I tend to get along with them more I guess because most guys I meet are more immature. Still, I'm a guy not a girl. Why is it that all my female friends feel the need to tell me about how attractive some ...
A. 20 January 2015: Well, I really dislike it when my religious friends talk about Jesus, but I don't tell them to shut up about it because they are my friends. I have a friend who mostly complains about her ex, and I hate that because she caused it, but she is my ... (read in full...)
Why do girls always come and tell me how attractive some guy is?
Q. About half of my friends are females. I tend to get along with them more I guess because most guys I meet are more immature. Still, I'm a guy not a girl. Why is it that all my female friends feel the need to tell me about how attractive some ...
A. 20 January 2015: Sounds to me like the only reason you are so called "friends" with these women is because you want some action with them, and you are jealous because they're only interested in being friends with you. That isn't being a real friend, or a friend at ... (read in full...)
He has 4 kids by different women! How do I ask him about this? How to continue to love someone with so many children?
Q. Dear cupid. Im 35 years old with no kids and never been married. Just met a guy i love so much, i went into his facebook account just to find out about before i can be serious about our relationship. To my suprise he has 4 kids with different woman ...
A. 20 January 2015: He is probably embarrassed because he was so irresponsible in his youth and afraid to lose you.
What can you do? Just ask him about them, and then take it a step at a time, I don't see how you can make a decision either way until there's a conver... (read in full...)
What is "smothering" and how do you not do it in a relationship?
Q. Hey there My question is divided into 4 parts. I was wondering what actually is smothering your partner? Why it is bad and how to differentiate between smothering and being available for her? Also, I understand that still most women wait on...
A. 19 January 2015: Well, everyone has different thoughts and boundaries so I will just give you my take.
Smothering is calling and texting a lot, such as when she is at work, sleeping, relaxing or out with friends. It's wanting to know where they are all the time... (read in full...)
My violent sexual fantasies bother me
Q. [MOD NOTE: OP's title] I have a sort of embarassing problem. Ever since I started discovering sex I tend to have extremely violent fantasies of me dominating men. It's always random, anonymous people, I can't imagine anyone I know there. It's mag...
A. 19 January 2015: There is a very large BDSM community. Many, many people share, and act on, your fantasy. If it is done safely then there is very little risk of actual harm.
I'm not sure whether it is possible to rewire such a powerful urge, or whether you even... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him about putting off sex until he feels he can trust me again?
Q. I am in a rut in my relationship. Long story short I cheated, There was no physical cheating. I was texting my manager and deleting the messages..they were not in any way inappropriate but I knew the fact bothered my fiancee so instead of nipping ...
A. 18 January 2015: You did not cheat! Do not, I repeat, do not under any circumstances marry this man.
His obsessive jealousy and stranglehold on every area of your life is only going to get worse.
Dump him, and find a guy who doesn't give a crap if you inno... (read in full...)
She will not break up but refuses to see me again!
Q. Girlfriend will not break up, but refuses to see me again. What is the best course of action as a man? So, the girlfriend of 9 months says that she now has no "free time for anything more than friends." She won't bring up breaking up, but feels ob...
A. 16 January 2015: Just break up with her? How is she going to stop you? Why does she have to agree? ... (read in full...)
I can't get myself to study, about to fail, help everyone !
Q. Hello everyone, before I start talking about my problem I would like to thank you for taking time to read this and answer me. I’m a medical student, which has always been my dream since I was 5 years old. Always being that straight A’s sma...
A. 15 January 2015: Ever been tested for ADHD? ... (read in full...)
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