A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to my wife for 11 years and I do love her we have a child together. The last 8 months I have had another women on mind 24.7. I met her through work well she's a client not a co-worker. The girl is beautiful and in her late 20s every time I see her I can't take my eyes off her. I haven't acted on it but keep finding ways to bump into her sometimes she's sweet and nice and others blanks me! I have never told her I feel but i think she knows. How do I get this girl out my head! As I said I have never acted on it but when I am with my wife I wish it was her and that is bad enough. I don't want to cheat but I know if there was a chance with this girl I would be weak enough to take it. Do you think the other women avoids me because she knows? Has anyone ever been in this situation?
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female
reader, Flower89  +, writes (24 January 2015):
 20 year olds don't go with 50 year olds, typo sorry.
A
female
reader, Flower89 +, writes (24 January 2015):
Omg if you hadn't put American i would have thought you were a man that works with me. The description right down to the age is similar. So I will tell you how I feel about him: I dread him coming out to speak to me for the fact my chest always seems more interesting to him than what my mouth is saying, this makes me want to vomit as he is old enough to be my dad.He states at me A LOT and again it creeps me out!! Stop it!!! This girl knows what's going on in your mind and is uncomfortable around you the way I am with my co-worker, yes I avoid him and try to be civil when i have no choice but to speak to him.Your married focus on your wife as a 20 year old myself we don't date men in their 20s. This fantasy isn't going to happen.Stop dreaming of her and focus on what u do have!!Sorry to sound harsh but I wish I could say all this to the older man being creepy round me and am sure this is the response you would get from her too.Not going to happen!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 January 2015):
 I've been in her situation and knew the guy had a crush on me. Creepy! I avoided him as best I could, I had a great job and found it annoying that had to deal with a hormonal male.
My suggestion to you is that you start observing yourself when you get into be of these mental fantases. Becoming a witness to your own thoughts takes you outside the situation and may pull you back from the awkward place your thoughts have taken you.
Read up on being present and mindfulness, it will help you deal with this internal narrator whom you've allowed to take over your consciousness.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (24 January 2015):
 I had this situation once when I worked in on office. I was in my late 20's and married, and had a man in his 60's also married constantly hitting on me saying things like "If I was 10 years younger and you were 10 years older I could show you a good time" I realize you have not said something like that (please don't it sexual harassment!) but the thing is...it TOTALLY creeped me out! The man was old enough to be my dad for God's sake! I avoided him whenever possible.
Yes I'd say the lady knows and doesn't like it. STOP IT! Be professional for heaven's sake and stop daydreaming about someone young enough to be your daughter that isn't interested. I should have reported the man who acted that way to me but I didn't want to stir up a hornet's nest..but everyone in the office noticed it and thought he was a creeper. Do you want that reputation?? I doubt it. So STOP!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2015): It's lust, pure and simple. You are at an age where you might be having the ol' midlife crisis and questioning stuff as well. You need to spice up your sex life with your wife/reassess your relationship and what you want and what you are giving to it. How would you feel if your wife was hankering after the 25 year old postman? Get a grip on yourself!
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A
female
reader, Sassypanda  +, writes (24 January 2015):
I have a problem similar but I also have no idea to get him out of my mind I suggest you tell her how you feel if you trust her not to tell your wife and explain you don't want a relationship with her you just want to be friends. Or you try and avoid her.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (24 January 2015):
She probably avoids you because she is getting creeper vibes off of you and you cannot control your flirting. She is clearly not comfortable with it and probably knows you are married and thinks you are much too old for her.
Be a man and act like the professional that you are supposed to at work. Your actions are inappropriate. It is one thing to develop a crush but you have woven this into a full blown fantasy and that's not good.
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