A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Girlfriend will not break up, but refuses to see me again. What is the best course of action as a man?So, the girlfriend of 9 months says that she now has no "free time for anything more than friends." She won't bring up breaking up, but feels obligated to say that we can no longer hangout. What is the best course of action a self respecting man should take? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 January 2015):
 Tell her it's over, that you two are no longer in a relationship, and wish her well.
That makes you "broken up". She has nothing to say about it.
Then stop seeing her and get on with your life without her. Don't contact her. Block her numbers and social media.
She's a coward. If she wants out, she should say it. No time for anything "except friends"? That's not even how friends treat each other. Do not be friends with her.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 January 2015):
Tell her it's over, that you two are no longer in a relationship, and wish her well.
That makes you "broken up". She has nothing to say about it.
Then stop seeing her and get on with your life without her. Don't contact her. Block her numbers and social media.
She's a coward. If she wants out, she should say it. No time for anything "except friends"? That's not even how friends treat each other. Do not be friends with her.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 January 2015):
 I agree with the others that she wants out. She's done all but say those words because she doesn't want to feel like the bad guy.
My advice is to say nothing and just quietly move on. It's already over so there is nothing to make official. Do your grieving in private.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2015): "...refuses to see me again."
"So, the girlfriend of 9 months says that she now has no "free time for anything more than friends."
This is pretty direct. You're in denial. It's so painful to accept, you can't.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I know what heartbreak feels like. Nine months is not a very long time. You're about 18; so you'll recover sooner than you think.
Sometimes people will not come right out and say they are dumping you, out of consideration for our feelings. Sometimes they try to let you decide on your own. They may even leave it loose-ended; so you won't hook up with somebody else before they do.
In any case, you accept it; and try your best to be strong and move on.
Get your buddies together. Shoot some hoops, hangout and do guy-stuff, get your head together. Let it sink-in.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 January 2015):
Send her a text and say you are breaking up with her. Duh. It's over,I don't know if you were going for advice that could change that or what.
But any self respecting man would not sit around and wait. Ironically if you dump her she may actually want you back.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 January 2015):
 I agree with WhenCows
She can't TELL you that you CAN NOT break up, if she DOESN'T want to be in a relationship. And if YOU want a relationship, SHE isn't it.
Just tell her, IF she doesn't HAVE time for you, it's over. THAT way YOU can find someone who DOES have time for you and WANTS to be with you.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (16 January 2015):
Just break up with her? How is she going to stop you? Why does she have to agree?
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A
female
reader, p.d632 +, writes (16 January 2015):
If she's saying that she doesn't have time for anything more than friends, that means she IS breaking up with you, she just hasn't said those exact words.
The only course of action you need to take now is to try your best to move on. She, apparently, doesn't have the time to be bothered with a relationship with you. I'm sorry. Find some hobbies, hang out with friends, and just try to have fun.
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