A
female
age
30-35,
*nitica1994
writes:If been with my boyfriend for more that one year and i want to have sex with him (im a virgin)...so I told a friend about it and she told me that it was better that i would lose it with myself so he will not see the blood, and i wouldnt feel the pain with him. What should I do? im really confused Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): If your boyfriend truly loves you && wants to be intimate with you for the first time, he wont mind the blood at all. Especially if he knows you're a virgin. Besides, a little bit of blood isnt that big of a deal. Worse comes to worse, just do it on a towel for the first time that you can wash right away. (&& Be protected of course. That goes without saying)
Have you ever done anything else sexual with him that includes some sort of vaginal penetration? Like fingering? If you haven't, i think it would be best if you started small before you get to the final step.
A
female
reader, anitica1994 +, writes (16 September 2008):
anitica1994 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thak you very much....The thing about the blood is that I was alibit embarrased
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Talk with someone older that you trust. Blood during your first time is not disgusting. He should see what you gave to him. I think because of your age that you should wait a while until you know for sure that this is real. Yes a year is a long time but sometimes you can know a person their whole life and not know them at all. Just wait and make sure that you are ready. Don't let him pressure you into it.
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A
female
reader, blackROSE1916 +, writes (16 September 2008):
Sounds as if your somewhat young & not real educated on sex! Could be wrong, but sounds like maybe you need to speak to an adult you trust, and feel comfortable about sex. In my opinion, its natural to bleed when you first have sex b/c your hymen breaks!
I think you should take a serious look about how you feel about having sex period
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (16 September 2008):
She seems to think that the most important thing about losing your virginity is making sure your boy is ok and happy.
NO!
The most important part about it is the fact you are losing your virginity!!
Yes there might be blood and there might be pain but that is part of it. If you are with a boy that loves you then he will want to be your first and will respect what happens.
Only give your virginity away to someone you love and trust. Not just some boy who you have to hide things from.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (16 September 2008):
Most people do not bleed when they lose thier virginity. I understand you're friends concern but losing your virginity isnt as bad as it seems, otherwise no-one would be having sex!
And also, I imagine it would be difficult to break your own hymen yourself. (which in alot of girls is already broken due to excerise etc)
Don't worry about it, once the time comes, with a supportive partner, evrything will be fine x
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 By definition, you can't lose your virginity by yourself. Losing your virginity is having a penis in your vagina for the first time - hence, you kinda need another person to do it with.
I think what your friend meant was breaking your hymen, and to be honest, it probably wouldn't make that much of a difference. You can break your hymen a number of ways - horse riding, using tampons, riding bikes, etc., but first time sex will usually still hurt. It's to do with all your muscles tensing up and the like. The best way to prevent pain is to make sure are completely ready and well lubricated.
What's wrong with your boyfriend seeing the blood? It's only natural, it's not as if he's going to ditch you for bleeding.
And remember - if you are IN ANY WAY unsure about having sex, don't do it. You only lose your virginity once. There's no need to rush.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): To loose your virginity you need to be penetrated. I think that your friend is saying this out of respect in the way that she thinks it would be best you wernt in pain and i think she could be scared that you could get pregnant. Not everyone bleeds when they loose their virginity
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