A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need help Im a teenager and almost eveyday i cry and get upset about someone who i really like who ive done things with in the past he says he likes me on the day but he just f*cks me off the next day and hes admitted he has used me. Were really close in a way we have everything in common and we get along great usually. But he does treat me like sh*t but i really love him. Hes a player also and lies alot. I dont want to move on i cant and to move on id have 2 spend time away from him which i cant do because were friends aswell and spend alot of time together and i enjoy being with him. Ive started telling him I dont lije him in that way anymore because it seems to be getting me nowhere when i say i do. I need help i really love him and want to be with him but he doesnt want me. Everyone asks us if were together and lots of people say we suit which we do. I have thorts that he likes me slightly because of how we act together but maybe im mistaken and its just friendly. Your advice would be to move on and have nothing to do with him but ive lost him as a lover and i dont want to loose him as a friend Iv been out with him in the past also. Please help
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female
reader, silent_whispers +, writes (1 June 2007):
Your question just shows that you are extremely upset and at this stage, you are vulnerable, at times in life we will feel that we can never move on and this is the end, but we all pull through. Why would you want to stay with someone who makes you feel the way he does?despite your past, you should stay away from people who hurt you, because if you stick around, it shows that you don't value yourself and he will carry on treating you the way you do. As they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder, you need to take time away from him, hang around with other friends and dont even think of him for some time, and then see how you will feel, maybe it will make him miss you, and come back to you. Its sad wen you love someone and care so much yet they just walk all over you, but you are an individual and you have rights, dont be a mat. he needs to realise what he is doing is wrong. You will have things in common with other people just look around. You can even join specific msn groups with people of the same interests, as you said, your only a teenager and you've got a long life ahead of you. You just need to tell yourself that he isn't worth the heart-ache and tears, you need to be strong and move on. When something is hurting you, then there's no point in trying to stay there, its like a burning fire, you know if you put your hand in, you will get burnt, so why try and put your hand in and tell yourself that maybe it wont burn me. You said it all yourself, hes a player, hes a liar, why can you expect faithfulness and love from such a person, he will realise what he has lost one day and in order for him 2 miss you or to realise you need to leave him and give him time, trust me, its in your best interests.
A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (30 May 2007):
 Put some distance between you both. You can be friends with him but you need to get everything right in your mind first. Accept that you cant be more than friends because of the way he is and the way he has treated you and keep your distance make sure he knows it cant go any further because its not good for you.
You will meet someone who wants to be with you and wont mess you up.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (30 May 2007):
 You need to find someone worthy of your emotions and start to space yourself from him. If he is treating you like rubbish then you surely can see he is no good for you. You may have feelings for him and may want to continue the friendship but i dont see a friendship here.
The things he has done to you you wouldnt to a lover let alone a friend so whats his excuse for this? You must have better friends than this, friends who treat you right and respect you, rather than making you feel like you do.
How to keep him as a friend?
I dont think he is worth it to be honest. His lifestyle and attitudes are always going to come into conflict with anyone who doesnt see things his way, as a "player". Move on and find some more friends who will treat you like you deserve.
R
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (30 May 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
Are you sure you actually like, let alone love this guy? You say that he lies - how do you know what you two actually have in common. My thoughts are that he pretends to be into the same things as you to get in your pants. I would be really, really careful around him. You said yourself that he is a player, and that's what those guys do. That's awful - I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I can't understand how people can do that to someone.
I suggest that you surround yourself with positive people - your friends and family. The more you get together with the positive people, the more you will not want to get with people like this guy who is using you. Go out and have fun with friends, stay in and have just a few close friends over - anything you can do to keep this guy off your mind. And anything you can do to change your life around so you're not so upset all the time. Even if that means going out by yourself and doing things - go a place you haven't been before, exercise, take up a hobby. (I know those suggestions sound lame, but they really do work for some people.)
And as hard as it would be to stop talking with him, that's exactly what I would do. I know it will be a heartbreaking experience because you feel such a connection with him, but Anonymous, this relationship is going nowhere and the longer you are around him, the longer you will have feelings for him. And those feelings will probably grow. And while you have all these wonderful feelings about him, he will keep disrespecting you.
And who knows - maybe if he sees that you are serious and a strong person, someone who is not going to take sh*t, then he'll actually start to like you.
Don't let yourself be used and disrespected, Anonymous. This guy is treating you like trash and you don't deserve it. You have such wonderful feelings that you could be giving to someone who would love you back just as much. But the key to this - regardless of any advice you recieve - is that you have to want to make things better for youself.
Take care.
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