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He's pressuring me for sex! Break up now with him or later after exams are done?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 May 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have a boyfriend, and weve been going out for nearly 3 months. Weve done sexual things, but not sex. We have nearly had sex, but got walked in

Now when he tries, i back out, and ive decied that i dont want to, and i dont regret my decision. I also dont want to do anything with him anymore, but hes pushing me into doing it.

We told each other we loved each other, but i dont think i do.

His being pushy, the fact that we dont communicate, have led me to want to break up with him.

But, weve started GCSES and we have like 5 exams next week, and i dont want to mess them up for him, by breaking up with him now, but i want to break up with him as soon as i can. Hes going away for the next 4 days, and i havnt talked to him for the last week, and dont really want to either. Should i finish him over the phone? or should i wait till he comes back and finish him face to face during exams? Please help

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you everyone who have answered. Im going to end it after an exam on monday.

Thanks again x

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A female reader, candy00s United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2007):

candy00s agony auntDont be pushed into doing anything you dont want to do. You've made up your mind you want to end it with him, i dont think you should drag it out.

Your gcse's are important, and you dont want to be sat in an exam worrying about ending things with him.

Can you talk to a friend about this? and get there support.

I think you should do it however you feel comfortable, ring him or face to face - i think a txt is cruel but if you find it easier.

Good luck with your gcse's and everything xx

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A female reader, silent_whispers United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2007):

I think that many people mistake love and lust. If he really did love you, he would get pleasure in simply talking to you and being there for you. You are at an important stage in your life, and you should not mess it up for anyone, especially someone who you dont have strong feelings for. I can understand you are at the age, were one needs attention and love, but just remember that boys come and go. You are young, and you will find many boys throughout stages in your life. If you don't have the same feelings for him, it is better that you tell him clearly before your exams, as you will not perform to your capability with stress or other things on your mind. Tell him clearly that you don't feel the same way and then focus on your exams and even if he does try and persuade you, just remember, no means no. Sometimes girls become rather soft and give in, but remember, you will have to face the actions of your consequences, if you give yourself to this male and he leaves you, you will be left heart-broken. Its best to have sexual relations in a comittied relation, and i suggest you wait for the right person. Good luck with your exams and don't worry about him, just be honest, the truth is always the best. take care.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (29 May 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntIf you can wait until exams are over that would be nice of you, but if not then tell him when he gets back, but not over the phone. I wish you good luck on the exams too.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (29 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntIf you don't want to be with him, or have sex with him, let him know. Don't drag it out.

DV1

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks R :) x x

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A male reader, Royofthe Rovers United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2007):

Royofthe Rovers agony auntYou dont love him so the answer is clear i think. You dont want to have sex with him because of this and it would be wrong to lead him on while you have your exams as THIS will be an extra strain on you while you trying to achieve your best.

Dont finish it over the phone, this is just cruel and to be honest fairly cold hearted. Do this face to face and do it sooner rather than later.

Your doing the right thing here in all areas so no guilt should be placed on yourself here. Just make sure you deal with the split in a mature and reasonable fashion so that you can walk away with a clear mind and focus on your goals.

Just be strong in choices and goodluck in your exams..

R

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