A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of three years and I have recently split. It has completely devasted me as I thought of her as my future wife. After putting the pieces together, I have come to the conclusion that the biggest reason for the break-up was because we are living two separate lives as of right now: I am a full-time college student while she is currently working full-time. We both love each other deeply and I can't picture myself with anyone else other than her, but I know that this has been bothering her for a while. I still have a couple of years in school, so there is nothing I can do about that. My question is a general one: Can two people who genuinely care and love each other make their relationship work even if they are living two seperate lives? Thanks. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (30 May 2007):
 If you love her, take your car, or take a bus, and get down to see her. If you make an effort, she'll come get you. Stop looking for an excuse. The only way you can save your relationship is to fight like hell. Prove to this girl that you're worth her time, and I guarantee you, she'll be willing to give you hers. Schedules can ALWAYS be worked out. Change your class schedule, or take online classes. You don't HAVE to live on or near campus. That's the great thing about the internet. You can take your classes, send in your homework, and be there to greet her when she gets home. I'm not trying to ride you. I want to see you two get together, and stay together. You have a genuine chance at happiness, but only if you FIGHT FOR IT!!
DV1
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe problem is that we are not able to see each other during the night because I am away at school during the year while she is at home, meaning we only get to see each other every 2-3 weeks and on breaks. We live close to each other at home, but about 2 hours away when I go to school. I just think she has finally reached her end and does not want to continue this for a couple more years.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (30 May 2007):
If you guys let your work or your school get in the way of your relationship, then you never had a strong one to begin with. If you really loved each other, you would both go to your occupation/school during the day, then see each other during the night. You don't have to see each other all the time. Every person has their own life with their own goals, but it people let their work define them, they would be lonely the rest of their lives. If you love her, go to her, and tell her why your occupations really matter. If she loves you, and you want a life with her, propose.
DV1
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007):
In some cases it can bond couples more men in general are more attracted to the Independent women, after all who wants a women in this day and age sitting at home Knitting? Lol,
However theirs “separate lives” and theirs “Isolated lives”
Separate lives or just “separate interests” indicates that although you’ve got a life of your own during the day you take the initiative to take an interest in your partner’s college/career,
You make an effort to still do those special meals or rub there feet or back in front of the T.V make them a hot drink etc, so tell me did you still make an effort to do these things? These little things form the backbone of any relationship,
But when its an Isolated one you would stop doing these things for each-other and just care about what your doing without taking much interest,
You and your Girlfriend split, you may sort things out you may not, you could try talking to her?, tell her calmly that youd like to make another go of things,
But if it doesn’t work out don’t worry sometimes theirs no way of working around people,
we all have different needs she should except( and be proud) what your doing (college) and be supportive to you and so should you (towards her job) but sometimes it just doesn’t work out like that try and learn from it if thing dont work out,
Take care and good luck
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (30 May 2007):
 That shouldnt of been a real problem in my eyes. yes, it might of caused problems but only if you let it. You might of had two different lifestyles, but if were both trying to make things work, this problem is a small one.
Were you out more than she was or vice versa?
Were you circle of friends that different?
Two people can lead differnt lives without letting it interfere with the core of the relationship as long as the communicate and work towards the same goal (making the relationship work).
What was her reasons for ending it?
R
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