A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:The girl I've been interested in for the past four months told me yesterday that she's finally split up with the father of her kid. She had tried again with him after going out with me for a few weeks. It was so hard at first but I accepted her reasons for what she did. We've grown really close since then and get along so well. She basically said that the way I've treated her led her to make the decision. He was abusive to her and constantly put her down and made her feel inadequate. I just tried to be there for her, support her and make her feel good. I put so much effort into this that now all this has happened I'm not sure what I should do. I want to be with her and I've told her this. I'm not going anywhere and I'll be there for her when she's ready. It's just I don't want to be insensitive and I realise she'll need time to get over him and clear her mind. Should I wait for her to make the next move? She knows how I feel about her and I will be as patient as she wants me to be.
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (21 August 2007):
 Hi
Good luck. He has probably got a hold over her if he was abussive, it is quite common.
If they keep tooing & frowing, you are gonna be hurt big time.
I would keep my distance if i was you, let her come to you.
As has been said on here in the past, if you play the friend card too much, you might think its appealing to her to make her think you're great, but it can end up doing just that, her seeing you as a friend only.
Good luck.
C xxxxxx
A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (21 August 2007):
 Sounds like you have answered your own question. Give her some time but let her know your offer still stands and you are still interested. If the feelings are mutual she will let you know when she is ready.
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