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Mom is flirting with my bf! Should I be concerned or is this harmless fun?

Tagged as: Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2007) 25 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *irliegirl writes:

Help! My mother has been flirting with my boyfriend ever since she met him. I'm not sure if he's interested in her, he says she's too old for him even though she looks hot for her age. Sometimes when he comes over to visit she'll take him out to the garden to look at the vegetables and she'll tell me to not bother coming along because I've already seen them. She always dresses up nice before she sees him and once for no reason at all she took out her birth control pills and showed them to him. During the last family get together on Easter she wanted to show him her stamp collection in my parents' bedroom and they were locked in there for quite a long time, my father and I tried to get the door open and it was locked and then they came out after a while and said there was something wrong with the door. Nothing else strange has been going on except for when they go shopping together and eating together and leave me out and stuff like that. But last night I found a nude photo of her on his mobile and he said that I must have had the photo and sent it to him accidentally. I don't remember ever having a nude pic of my mother, that is disgusting, but could I have sent it to him accidentally since we share the same computer??? And should I take this flirtation seriously or is it just harmless fun?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008):

Yes, you should definitely worry. That's not normal that he has a naked pic of your mom on his cell phone!!! Obviously she got naked for him and let him take the picture, and she probably offered him sex. Taking him shopping and leaving you out of it is a BIG red flag that something's going between them. Next time that happens, get close to your boyfriend and smell him and see if you detect the scent of your mom's perfume on him. That will be a dead giveaway!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008):

uhm,

worry.

worry alot.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008):

You should be very concerned. This behavior is unacceptable. If that man doesn't respect you the way he should knowing it makes you feel uncomfortable. Honey, you can do better.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008):

I had a very similar problem... a href="http://yougotrickrolled.com/"This website/a really helped me out a lot...

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (18 June 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntPSSST! Hey, you new posters. This is a really old thread, look at the date on the original question.... don't get too worked up about it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008):

bullshit story and question.

don't believe you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008):

This has to be a joke, right? I mean who's really this naive and stupid?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008):

I think you're stupid. Your mom and your boyfriend get "locked" in the bedroom together and you just let it go?

Dump him and move out of your mom's house. If you can't, stop bringing your boyfriends home. But get rid of this piece of trash, since it seems he's got no qualms with messing around with other people, not to mention YOUR MOM.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008):

I don't believe you have a boyfriend or a mom. Enjoy your solitude.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008):

Im so sorry to hear this. Your mother is definitely sleeping with him. The locked door? The going places with him without you? The naked picture? Do you honestly even have a naked picture of your mom on your phone that you might accidentally have sent to him? Im assuming not.

Please, talk to your mother and maybe even your father, although Im sure that would be hard. AND FOR THE LOVE OF SOME GOD, PLEASE DUMP THAT GUY!!! If he will sleep with youre mother, he is not anyone you should be with.

I hope this gets cleared up and you heal, Im so sorry!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008):

Your mum and your boyfriend are completely disrespecting both you and your dad. I would suggest telling him you wanna go on a break for a while, therefore taking away his reason for visiting the house and see what happens. Have you spoken to your dad? Have you confronted your mum? did she get scared and say "you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air" did you whistle for a cab and when it came near the

Licenseplate say "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror

If anything could you say that this cab was rare

But did you think nah forget it, yo home to bel-air

Did you pull up to a house about seven or eight

And yell to the cabby "yo, home smell you later"

did you look at your kingdom were you finally there

To settle your throne as the princess of bel-air??

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008):

one word...

THREESOME

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008):

wow your mom is a complete slut and you should confront her and ask her what the hell is going on, because you don't need this. you are being way too nice, i'm sorry but your boyfriend is being just disgusting even thinking about doing anything with your mom and they are both completely disrespecting you. you need to dump him and tell your mom to f*** off and get out of your love life from now on. to be honest if i were you i wouldn't let my boyfriends anywhere near my mom anymore(although i'm a guy so i guess the situation would be reversed so it would be 'i wouldn't let my girlfriends anywhere near my dad anymore.')his excuse for the nude photo...first of all why would a weirdo girlfriend send a nude photo of their mom to their boyfriend, and second why would the boyfriend keep it??? i call BS on that. dump him and tell her to leave you and your future boyfriends alone.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008):

Eh, you should kill them both with an axe and move on.

everyone here got trolled

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A female reader, DeviLishToy United States +, writes (17 June 2008):

DeviLishToy agony auntIf that were me and my Mother had done that to me, My relationship with my Mother would be over. That is your Mother, and the only one you will ever have and what she did not only to you but your Father is a disgrace, and she should be ashamed of herself. Let her know how you are feeling and have your Dad in the conversation as well. Her actions will cause a chain of new events and I'm pretty sure every one of your lives will change due to her actions. Dump the boyfriend, you deserve better than him.

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A female reader, DeviLishToy United States +, writes (17 June 2008):

DeviLishToy agony auntIf that were me and my Mother had done that to me, My relationship with my Mother would be over. That is your Mother, and the only one you will ever have and what she did not only to you but your Father is a disgrace, and she should be ashamed of herself. Let her know how you are feeling and have your Dad in the conversation as well. Her actions will cause a chain of new events and I'm pretty sure every one of your lives will change due to her actions. Dump the boyfriend, you deserve better than him.

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A female reader, rockelle United States +, writes (23 August 2007):

rockelle agony auntI hate to be the one to say it but your mom is a slut, and yes she is sleeping with your boyfriend. As hard as it may be for you to believe she is. This woman has violated your relationship as mother and daughter, and she has disrespected you as a young women. The lie he told about the nude photo is B.S. he is trying to protect her. Get rid of him, he should have been man enough to say no and tell you about her advances. Im sure your dad would love an explanation about that photo. Get a new bf, they come and go. Your mom let her know how much she has hurt you and although you may not be able to trust her again unfortunately you will never get another Mom, so it might be hard but you have to forgive her. I feel so sorry for you. I hope everything works out for you. Good Luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007):

Just leave them and tell everything to your dad, that is you right, you deserve your part to be selfish as a revenge, and let the senior deal with it, at the same time, break up with your bf. Always remember, be strong!!

All the best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007):

First of all, i think you are being too nice, and letting your bf and mom do whatever they want. Second of all you should do some thing like talk to your dad or dump your bf or tell your mom how you feel. I would say you should say you should talk to your dad and let him handle your mom, and talk to your bf and dump him. And you should totally ignore your mom and then you'll see she will try to talk to you and apologize cause girl you're being too nice. You'll have to show your mom and bf that it's not ok for them to have an afair.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007):

Your mother has used 'easy prey' i.e. your boyfriend to satisfy her own sexual needs (be they emotional or physical). She is being incredibly selfish - to both you and your Dad. She obviously knows her own powers of seduction and, to be honest, if I were you I would walk away from both of them and get some space. Your mother is a disgrace - I am not excusing your boyfriend but he is clearly immature. You need neither. Make a strong bond with your Dad and tell him why you are taking time away. This should not be your problem to solve.

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (11 August 2007):

At first I was thinking maybe your mum just wants to know the guy her daughter is dating, often parents like to do this, because if they know the guy well, then they feel safe knownig what type of person their daughter is dating. However when you found the nude photo...that pretty much says it all! As if you 'accidently' sent it to him. Hes telling a lie to hide somethign. Finding that photo on his phone suggests that everything else that has been happening is more then just innocent talking.

You should of said to him when he came up with the lame excuse as to why he ahd the photo, 'well why didnt u delte it then if u didnt want it?'. However I understan dthat you must of been full of different emotions and confusion, so you wouldnt be able to think of what to say.

So what to do about the situation? I would try talking to your dad. See what he thinks. THen BOTH of you work together on a solution because if something is happening between your bf and your mum, it effects your dad too.

Hopefully he will be able to give you a lot of support.

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (11 August 2007):

bubbloo24 agony auntGet rid of him hun... ugh what a creep.. and as for your mum?!! Well I think this is just disgracful and how awful it must be for you.

Sit your Mum down, tell her everything you know and tell her exactly how you feel. You have every right to be annoyed with her. But I think the first step is to get rid of him. The fact that he told you that you'd sent a pic of your mum nude is such a bad excuse to get out of it. Even IF you did, he should have deleted it right?

Find someone who'll treat you with the respect you deserve. I can't even begin to understand your mother because that is WAY OUTTA ORDER. Talk to her and tell her to explain everything, you deserve that much.

Take care, I'm so so sorry hun

xxx

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A female reader, Zarah United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2007):

Your mum and your boyfriend are completely disrespecting both you and your dad. I would suggest telling him you wanna go on a break for a while, therefore taking away his reason for visiting the house and see what happens. Have you spoken to your dad? Have you confronted your mum?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007):

Oh dear! YES. It's serious. They are having an affair. How your mom could do that to you is beyond my comprehension. To be honest I'm speechless and I don't know what you should do. But YES, they are having an affair. That's all I can tell you. I'm soooo sorry.

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A female reader, Dazed & Confused United States +, writes (11 August 2007):

Well, I've had my share of boyfriends, and my mom NEVER treated them like that! Them going shopping together and going out, sounds like she's dating him. And no, there is no way that you could have "accidentally" sent a nude picture of your mom to his phone. That is such an obvious sign that they're sleeping together, or at least that they're getting physical. It's horrible that your mother would do something like this, but all the signs are there. Locking yourself in a room with your daughter's boyfriend is completely unacceptable and her excuse was completely ridiculous. If they were stuck, wouldn't they have been yelling for help to get out? Not remain in there quiet for an even longer time! Have a talk with your mom, and hopefully she'll be truthful to both you and your dad.

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