A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im 23. I left my boyfriend of 7 years just 3 weeks ago, because i found out he was looking at porn, was a member of a sex chat site (1 that i know of), and he was chatting to many girls and his profiles were stated SINGLE.I only found out due to following a gut feeling i had and snooped around,and luckily hes new to the net and didnt clear his footprints very well.Am i over the top ? for leaving ?Have i over reacted?
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (14 September 2007):
 When someone puts single on there profile on a sex site there only looking for one thing, you didnt over react at all you did what most people would do dont regret your decision, you dont need him in your life you will find someone better.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): leave his ass now... as soon as you read this call him up an tell him to go to his whores you'll have other REAL MEN pass your path.... oh yeah don't try to get whit anyone those relationships dont' work trust me
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (14 September 2007):
Only you know him well enough to tell whether he was really looking or just playing games.
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (13 September 2007):
 you're not over reacting at all. you're very strong, very smart and dont take any poop and i really respect you for that. i know it must've been hard but i think you've done the right thing. what the hell did he think he was doing? porn is one thing but actually joining chat rooms where he interacts with people and telling them he's single?! thats just sad. you can do better than him and you know it.best of luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): oh and i went away with my sister for a week, as agreed by him, when i came back, he had created a myspace page, with singleagain, and it had all about him, pets, cars, hobbies. i wasnt mentioned once! and his 2 friends on there is a pammy lookalike and his neice. But what i dont understand is,im on myspace, he knows i am so why did he hide it, and his neice mailed meon there, hense me finding his page, so was he that dumb to think i wouldnt find it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): HiI posted the question.When i saidhe didnt clear his footprints, oh yes,he cleared his history,but left traces elsewhere, likecontact addresses in his inbox (which he knows i dont see, and even created another mail account to do the dirty in).And in google, when ityped in 'g' girls bent over would show up (previosly typed in ).NO, i have never ever been on a sex chat site up untilfinding out he had been on (i had a look to see what he was on) and NO i dont belong to chat. I use the net just to check my mailand shop. Ive never entered anything seedy or sleazy.His reasons for stating single on his profiles was that if he put in a r.ship, no1 would speaktohim, and that he wanted to chat. And the sex chat site thing he said purely hehad a look then never went on again (you have to register to enter) and the porn he said he was curious. You see my ex is muslim, he was a virgin at 25 when i met him,hes now 32and said hehas never wanted to look, but was comparing them to me and said they wre nothing on me (i did modelling part time, not that it means much but just for your info). and also, im a sexy woman and always dressing up, having fun, trying new things, and i just dont think boredom is the reason.His reaction to me leaving was devastating.I left the house we shared, ive moved back to my mums, he calls, texts, sent flowers, chocolates, letters and poems. However trust is gone, and ive died inside. Now, 3 weeks later, i get texts still, but maybe 2 a day, some days none.hes cryed,goneroundmy family and friends. But ive died inside. i had no choice but to leave
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): No, I understand completely! I'm goin through the same thing & I think I'm just hangin on by my fingernails. It disgusts me so much that when I find this revolting crap I don't even want him to touch me. Maybe starting over is for the best.
Good luck - you deserve better! xo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): I can't believe the response that kindone gave you. As long as he comes home to you it does not matter?? Please! What if he comes home to you with aids, or another std? Give me a break! It's not like he was just talking to people on a chat site, he was talking to girls on a SEX chat and claiming to be single. Not to mention his porn viewing. I must admit, 7 years is a long time & I am sure you both got bored. But he should have broken it off if he is interested in trying to find another girl or other girls for sex. You didn't overreact. How is he handeling the fact that you left him??
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A
male
reader, HonestGuy +, writes (13 September 2007):
To be honest with you, I have known even girls who are in relationships that are on sex chat site's and state they are single. I expect you belong too some chat site's and these even do not need too be sex sites, and you have chatted with some guy's even flirted with them. Did he come home too you.If everyone really look's into themselves and Like the Bibile says" He who cast the first stone is with out sin" (by the way I am not a christian ) . There are too many people who jump to the conclusion too quickly and then look back and regret it. One thing did you ask him about these sex chat site's, did he give you a good enough reason. You say that he dose not know how to clear his foot prints, well it looks too me that you do know how too do it. If he was cheating he would of got rid of them, by asking a friend how too do it.The porn site's , everyone looks at those there is no harm in that, alot of people use it to give them idea's of spiceing there sex life up. Child porn that is bad. Did you talk too your friend's first then split or did you talk too him , find out and then split. Last thing too say , look into your heart and really think hard,.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): i agree, you were right to dump him, you worth much better
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A
female
reader, kindone +, writes (13 September 2007):
 as long as he comes home to you thats all that matters. i hes not cheating on you and he'd tell you i he was i wouldn't worry about it. he's just talking. talking doesn't hurt anything. you could take him back and just chat with someone yourself and see how much it bothers him. and if it does that you will explain to him thats why it bothered you same differance. good luck
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Where's there's smoke, there's fire. It wouldn't be long before he agrees to meet some of these girls for the actual sex. You didn't overreact. You were smart.
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (13 September 2007):
 No, you are not. If he has single on his profile obviously he is looking to meet someone. If it was innocent chatting he would not have lied about being in a relationship.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Hi
Er, no you're not!
C xxxxx
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