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My 30 year old boyfriend can sometimes be immature... any tips?

Tagged as: Age differences, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 August 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend is 30 and I am 35. We have been together about 18 months. I am concerned because he is a very different person around his friends than he is with me. I know that we are all slightly different but he seems to use different language and becomes immature - boasting and exagerrating about things he's done which I find really bugs me - this includes 'proving' himself about the cost of buying a car and stuff whereas this is something we should keep a bit more private. I have read some of his emails (which he freely shows me) and he uses terms that are more akin to a teenager and seems to love this. He laughs and giggles more with his friends and I have asked him whether I make him serious or miserable because I don't want to. I am wondering if the age difference is really too much between us (a lot of his friends are 30 or younger) or whether I'm just being stuffy! I have asked him if he is himself with me and he says he really is. Trouble is I feel alienated in his friends company and also don't feel like changing myself to 'fit' with their conversations - it has caused conflict when my boyfriend has asked me why I have such a problem with people being "immature". My boyfriend spent a lot of his 20's travelling and has never wanted to commit to a house etc whereas I started working at age 18 and had a mortgage at 23. Not saying either are right or wrong but wondering if our different background and attitude to life will cause continual problems.

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A female reader, hit-the-road,jack... United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2007):

My boyfriend immature as f**k and i love him for it. we always have a giggle and laugh about stupid things and act like a pair of kids. the important thing is if he can be mature when he needs to be.

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A female reader, rockelle United States +, writes (21 August 2007):

rockelle agony auntMy husband is 35 and I am 26. I have to sometimes remind him that he is an adult with a job, a mortgage, and a kid. In a way I feel a little jealous that he has held on to his young spirit whereas I have grown up over night sometimes I feel like an old lady. As long as he satifies you and can be an adult when the time comes let him have a little fun with the boys...

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (21 August 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntOh, men. When men get around other men, it's like they turn twelve again, right? Too much testosterone in a room and this is what happens!

As long as he turns back into a thirty year old with you and at work and when he's dealing with important things (purchases, bills, social situations), forget about how he acts with his friends. He'll probably still be giggling, bragging, burping and writing stupid e-mails when he's sixty.

If he is immature in more aspects of his life than just with his friends, maybe it's time to evaluate your relationship.

Good luck, sweetness!

xxIndia

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntWell theres only one thing to say here. Pretty much all guys are revert to 16 when around there mates. I do it, ive seen my dad do it, and older men do it. I dont know why it happens it just does, mostly because its fun and its how we act. The whole "Allpha Male" thing is an age old thing of proving yourself, who has the biggst engine, whose got the highest score. Its usually harmless competion between mates and should be ignored.

But when he comes home to you he acts normal, and thats normal aswell.

This has nothing to do with you or your past or him and his, its just something all men do so dont worry about it!

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntWell theres only one thing to say here. Pretty much all guys are revert to 16 when around there mates. I do it, ive seen my dad do it, and older men do it. I dont know why it happens it just does, mostly because its fun and its how we act. The whole "Allpha Male" thing is an age old thing of proving yourself, who has the biggst engine, whose got the highest score. Its usually harmless competion between mates and should be ignored.

But when he comes home to you he acts normal, and thats normal aswell.

This has nothing to do with you or your past or him and his, its just something all men do so dont worry about it!

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A female reader, melly786 Puerto Rico +, writes (21 August 2007):

melly786 agony aunthey im 26 my man is 34 and girl the immatureness comes out all the time girl i don't no wut 2 do i need advice my self!

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