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... Send *uirkLady a private message | | | *uirkLady's profile:Honesty can be delivered brutally or kindly...I prefer the kind approach but I will be brutally honest at times. I don't believe in being mean just to be mean but I don't believe that sugarcoating life helps at all. I also believe that respecting yourself and others is the key to living a happy life.
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| Latest articles: Same-sex rape: a real and important issue
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2009: This story is my experiences as a same-sex rape victim. Female on female rape statistics are very hard to find. The overwhelming number of rapists are men, and so most rape and sexual assault information on the internet is geared to the victim of...
Let's Talk About The Problem With Nice Guys!
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 June 2009: "I was so nice to her but now she's going out with someone else!" "Women don't really want nice guys, they want assholes." "He never even noticed all the wonderful things I did for him!" If you've ever said any of these things, you might be a ...
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What can I do to re-gain her trust and change her mind?
Q. Okay so here is the background: I was with this girl for about a year when we broke up in October 2009, I ended it because I didn't feel the same way about her- I didn't love her anymore. She was absolutely devastated and plummeted into a...
A. 29 December 2010: Oh, NOW you love her. When you were with her you ignored her and treated her like crap, but once she found a guy who was good to her you changed your mind. Why do you think you can yank her around and play with her heart and expect her to forgive ... (read in full...)
My mom won't forgive my boyfriend
Q. my mom won't forgive my boyfriend. yes, he's bipolar and a recovering addict and has done some things that should be deemed unforgiveable (stealing $400 from her, flipping out on her etc.) but now he's in a mental rehabilitation home and even ...
A. 28 December 2010: How long ago was the stealing and disrespect?
Because if you're talking about something that happened a month ago, that ish is still fresh and no one changes that fast. ... (read in full...)
Wife's past still hurts me 25 years later
Q. Please Help Me it hurts Till Today from 25 Years ago. Back in my Twenty's I was Friends with a Group of Guys We did all kinds of things together. But mostly Party And Look for Girls. I met a very nice Girl who was a Virgin We dated few Months I ...
A. 28 December 2010: Are you seriously complaining about something that happened 25 years ago, before you dated your wife? So what if she had sex? She wasn't with you then. She's been a good wife to you for 25 years. Out of respect for yourself, your wife, your ... (read in full...)
I do all the housework and he refuses to contribute or help.
Q. I don't know what to do. I am in a relationship with a guy who is a year younger than me. He moved in with me three months ago (after online dating for two--I know it was a little soon...) I'm starting to get second thoughts about continuing a ...
A. 28 December 2010: 5 months and you're already living together and seriously planning the future eh? I bet he was drooling talking to you thinking about how he was going to lay back and mooch off you. Talk to him now and change your approach immediately. St... (read in full...)
He's still flirting with girls on FB and texting even after just moving in with me?
Q. I recently started dealing with my old high school boyfriend again. So far so good. But I have a minor problem. He spent the holidays with me and he's still here. He only leaves to go to work or go home to get clean clothes. But I noticed he's ...
A. 28 December 2010: If he's living in your house, you should say something. I'm thinking something along the lines of "when are you going home? unless we're in a relationship you have a house and you need to get back to it." Don't let him lie up in your house for no ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a " special" friend while in a relationship?
Q. I am involved with someone and so is this man that I am asking about. We met thru work 2 years ago. He has reached out several times to me thru calls and text which I thought was strange as we are both in long term relationships. Our communication ...
A. 28 December 2010: You need to walk away from this situation right now. You are having an emotional affair that is fast heading towards physical. In your whole question you never mention your feelings for your boyfriend. It is like he is an afterthought to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend calls me a manwhore!
Q. So my girl and I have been together for a couple years and we used to be really happy but things lately last 4 months or so havent been all that great. She makes me feel bad about myself. Since I've had some history with women before dating her, she ...
A. 27 December 2010: Dump her. Anyone who tries to shame you about your past dating history is not worth your time.... (read in full...)
How can I make him aware of my feelings for him?
Q. Ok theres this guy ive liked since march when a mate told me to add 2 facebook The only problam is i cant tell him i like him, i once again i can getting another gf, he had one then split up, still single at the moment tho :) Anyway this guy i...
A. 19 December 2010: He's taking you somewhere. If a man is after you for sex and nothing else, he wouldn't even take you for a sandwich. He obviously doesn't mind being seen with you, so he likes you in some respect. I can't say if he wants a relationship for sure, ... (read in full...)
I'm texting a guy my friend likes to give him hints that she likes him
Q. Ive done something really bad, One of my best mates really likes this guy( they have been mates for ages) she always gos on about him and helps him out a lot with work, Anyway about 2 months ago, i took his number from her phone and started te...
A. 19 December 2010: Stop texting him and mind your own business.... (read in full...)
Open relationships never work....
Q. So I am in an open relationship with someone, let's call him Bob. I've never liked someone so much in my life but Bob had to move out of the country. We keep in touch and although I haven't seen Bob for 3 months, I can't get him out of my head. He's ...
A. 19 December 2010: My advice to you is to move on and stop trying to change him. At least he was honest that he is a jerk and will just waste your time. Are you really this desperate to hang around for crumbs for some guy who is guaranteed to treat you like crap? ... (read in full...)
She cant confirm if we are really over, but wont let me back in her life! What can I do?
Q. my lifes just spinning out of control. 8 months ago i had everything, although it wasnt all good on the relationship front and hadnt been since sept 09 really when our 2nd son was born. basically we fell in love and left out partners nearly 7 years ...
A. 17 December 2010: You just don't get it, do you? You keep talking about how you're hurting and you're lonely and you're sad but not one single thing about how she might feel.
She told you she is hurt.
She told you she doesn't want to be with you.
If you love... (read in full...)
Every time we argue he tells me to sleep on the couch or leave!
Q. so I am not sure what to do about my relationship as of now were engaged,but he is having tons of problems with his ex and baby mama she is causing lots of drama for him and I battling court, visitation, child support. We have a child in common too. ...
A. 16 December 2010: How long have you been together?... (read in full...)
Am I crazy? Or is he crazy? Or are we both crazy?
Q. I met a guy who has, in the space of less than 2 months, told me that he loved me, he could see us being together, that he had changed his mind about having kids and that he could see us having kids together, helped me a lot on a home improvement ...
A. 15 December 2010: Don't even bother trying to understand. He's crazy. I mean, you can go around in circles trying to dissect him mentally, but it won't get you any closer to the truth and will just waste your time.
You won't get an apology.
You won't get an... (read in full...)
Almost 8 years together and STILL no marriage proposal!
Q. I'm stuck in a rut. I've been with the same guy for almost a eight years now. I love him more than anything. He's my best friend. He loves me just as much. I know that he loves me, not ONLY from what he says, but the lovely things he does fo...
A. 15 December 2010: I suggest that you talk to him again and bring up the lack of progress. Tell him you want more out of life, and although you two have been good together, you want marriage and cohabitation and the whole nine yards, and you've waited long enough. ... (read in full...)
Am I going to be alone forever?
Q. I need a lot of advice. I am good for an afternoon and then I get sad again. I broke up with my ex of 6 years and after 3 miscarriages. I now have a beautifull 15 month son. I will graduate in March with my Masters degree. I have a very close ...
A. 15 December 2010: One of my friends thought the same as you, until she met the guy who is now her husband at 38. Anything can happen.... (read in full...)
Thoughts on having sex on the first date?
Q. is it ok to have sex on the first date/night you meet someone?? recently i haven't had a lot of sex, its been almost 6 months, and although i thoroughly enjoy it, i feel the need to get out there and have a few one night stands.. ive been chatt...
A. 14 December 2010: If you go into these hookups with the mentality that they are just hookups, you don't care about their feelings and you don't ever care to see or talk to them again, you'll be fine with first date sex. If you are worried that you'll be the talk of ... (read in full...)
He came on so strong and then kept breaking things off?
Q. I met a guy who came on really, really strong at first. Talking about falling in love with me, etc. I was a bit hesitant at first. Then, I sort of started to believe him, and started to go along with what he said. He mentioned waking up with m...
A. 14 December 2010: Leave him alone. He was off right from the start. In my experience people who talk about falling in love with you right away usually fall out of love just as fast. He also doesn't seem to be very good at communicating either. In the end he is ... (read in full...)
Whats wrong with me and the guys I attract?
Q. So this kinda goes with my last ?. But here goes. The relationship that i am in is a bad 1. We fight all the tme and its always about something dumb. He yelled at me over lettuce we had to buy in the middle of the street.how humiliating for me. And ...
A. 14 December 2010: There's nothing wrong with you as a person. You've made some bad decisions though. The first bad decision was staying with this guy after he hit you the first time. He is a total dirtbag and isn't worth your time or affection. Make a good ... (read in full...)
Does he love that I'm sexy, or does he actually love me?
Q. my boyfriend has told me he loves me a couple of times. but last time he told me he said i love sexy you so so much your my everything does that mean he loves that im sexy or that he loves me?...
A. 14 December 2010: Both.... (read in full...)
She cant confirm if we are really over, but wont let me back in her life! What can I do?
Q. my lifes just spinning out of control. 8 months ago i had everything, although it wasnt all good on the relationship front and hadnt been since sept 09 really when our 2nd son was born. basically we fell in love and left out partners nearly 7 years ...
A. 14 December 2010: Dude, you did wrong by her. You broke her trust in you not once, but twice. Now suddenly you got the wake up call and want to get back together but she is still hurting. You can't just do nice things for a couple months and think you'll be good ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend chose concert over me!
Q. Alright so there was this concert last night. Now my girlfriend had been looking forward to this concert for a while. It wasn't really a huge show....just a couple low key rappers. One of her friends bailed on her and I told her that I would go to ...
A. 13 December 2010: How is she selfish? She made plans without you and followed through on them. You are selfish for thinking she should forget about her plans and getting mad because she didn't. It has nothing to do with being female, and I don't even know why you ... (read in full...)
Married, but I had a co-worker's baby, now what??
Q. I've been together w my husband for 81/2 years. I got pressured into having sex with a co-worker. I was too afraid to tell him no. (why , because he got mad at me if I didn't). Stupid stupid I know. I have always had zero feelings for this guy. ...
A. 13 December 2010: Oh, and don't walk away from your marriage yet. Being pressured into sex is not the same as willingly cheating. Talk through this with your husband and if things don't go well, then you make the decision to stay or go. But don't walk away without ... (read in full...)
Married, but I had a co-worker's baby, now what??
Q. I've been together w my husband for 81/2 years. I got pressured into having sex with a co-worker. I was too afraid to tell him no. (why , because he got mad at me if I didn't). Stupid stupid I know. I have always had zero feelings for this guy. ...
A. 13 December 2010: If you tell your husband the truth he may be more understanding than you think. I do wish you had told him earlier, but better late than never.
As for your coworker, him pressuring you into sex was wrong. Absolutely, totally, 100% wrong. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend chose concert over me!
Q. Alright so there was this concert last night. Now my girlfriend had been looking forward to this concert for a while. It wasn't really a huge show....just a couple low key rappers. One of her friends bailed on her and I told her that I would go to ...
A. 13 December 2010: Yeah, well, she didn't. She had made specific plans to go to that concert and had been looking forward to it for a while. Regardless of your opinions of the performers, she really wanted to go. You shouldn't hold it against her that she did what ... (read in full...)
Difficult to meet someone in the land of the frigid (aka Canada), why?
Q. I know a lot of people are going to go off on me for generalizing here, but it's based on what I've seen through my own experiences, as well as friends... Anyways, recently a bunch of my buddies and I were discussing the difference betwe...
A. 11 December 2010: I don't doubt your handsomeness...man, Canada seems to have a hot guy factory running three shifts...but I have my theories.
1) You take Tucker Max seriously.
2) You have horrible reputations and all women know to avoid you.
3) You're dating wo... (read in full...)
My wife has feelings for a much younger "friend".
Q. Dear Cupid, how is everyone doing. I am a happily married man with a sitaution. My wife has admitted to me that she had an affair with a younger man and said that she was falling in love with him. But the whole time, she said that she never fell ...
A. 9 December 2010: Your wife is trying to have her cake and eat it too. You're her true love but she's falling in love with someone else eh? Has she tried to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge too?
I'm sorry, but your marriage is over.... (read in full...)
Am I being too sensitive?
Q. When my boyfriend does something that upsets me, and I try to talk to him about it, he always tells me that I am "over-reacting," and then doesn't understand why telling me that makes things worse. Am I being too sensitive?...
A. 9 December 2010: It depends.
It's possible you're being too sensitive; it's also possible he's a lazy git who doesn't like dealing with "feelings." If he can't handle ever being told he did something wrong, it is a problem with him. I have met too many guys lik... (read in full...)
I can't wait much longer to be given the title of his wife, do you think he'll give it to me?
Q. Its been just over 5 years with my fiance, we have a house, a 3year old, lots of debt...We have had a wonderful 5 years together. Like any relationship, we have had ups and downs....Last year I proposed to him. We have always agreed we want to spend ...
A. 9 December 2010: CaringGuy is right as always, there are a lot of problems in your relationship. You don't trust him and yet you want to take a vow to be together always? Why would you get married to someone you don't trust? Why would you get married now if ... (read in full...)
How do I trust my man with the kind of past I've had?
Q. I'm getting married next year to a wonderful man who's been nothing but compassionate, patient, loving and endearing. But before him, I was in a very long term relationship that lead to nothing but hurt and lies. My ex was always doing things for a ...
A. 9 December 2010: I wish you the best of luck in becoming the person you want to be. It sure sounds like you are shedding the old, insecure you and flowering already. Looking forward to hearing about the new you!... (read in full...)
Am I weird for feeling confused?
Q. I guy I was dating told me things that a lot of men I have dated have never told me-----he told me that he could see living his life with me, that he was falling in love with me, that he was surprised that no one ever asked me to marry them, etc. ...
A. 8 December 2010: Stop texting this manipulative jerk. He doesn't care about your feelings. Don't be his free therapist or his last resort date. If he was a good guy he wouldn't be playing these little dumb head games. Lose his number.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a pervert? How do I deal with ex-girlfriend syndrome?
Q. So there's two major questions in my relationship. Is my boyfriend a pervert? And is he not over his ex girlfriend? Me and my boyfriend have been together now for 7 months and we have a happy relationship so far. Prior to him I've steered ...
A. 8 December 2010: How exactly do you think he should bring up his porn stash with you? That isn't really polite dinner conversation. Most guys I know aren't open about their porn collections because they know the women in their lives will freak out just like you ... (read in full...)
Are we rushing things? Is that why I still occasionally think about my ex?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles! This is a stupid situation I got myself into. This is a bit lengthy, so please bear with me. I need to dish all the details to help YOU help ME. Thanks... First off: My boyfriend if fucking amazing. Like literally... he'...
A. 8 December 2010: I think it's pretty natural to wonder "what if" about your ex once in a while. No matter how badly it ended up, that relationship was a huge part of your life and there was once love there. If he had been a good guy, who knows where you would be ... (read in full...)
Could his virginity and our long distance relationship equal future problems?
Q. Dear Cupid, Where to begin... this past summer I was in Germany for three months. A man in the same office as me caught my eye (he is 28, I am 22), and a week before I left, we declared our love for each other, became a couple, discussed all th...
A. 8 December 2010: An easy woman is a bitch? Well, at least his hangups are nice and obvious. Personally I think cheating will be the least of your problems considering how he feels about women who have "too much sex".... (read in full...)
Do most boys choose their X-Box or PS3 over their girlfriend?
Q. It seems like my boyfriend's life is playing on his xbox or ps3, I dnt understand why he would rather play on that instead of talking to me on the phone etc. Anytime I go to his house he would rather play on his xbox than me?! Is this normal? ...
A. 8 December 2010: I could see hanging in there with his video game obsession if he was making at least some kind of effort to be with you. It doesn't sound like he's making any effort at all and you're doing all the work. There's other guys out there who won't ... (read in full...)
Dating is like riding a bicycle, right?
Q. I posted questions before about being cheated on for almost 3 yrs and not knowing what to do about fiance, moving on and our businesses together. Well, I am trying to move on! Here's my new question: I met a new guy, who seems great, treats me with ...
A. 8 December 2010: As long as both of you are cool with casually dating, keep on enjoying yourself. You deserve to be happy and have fun.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
He seems to be running away from his feelings, what do I do?
Q. I've known my guy friend for nearly four years and counting. For the most part, I'd say we had a healthy relationship. On a regular basis, we'd converse during the week to talk about family life, careers/ambitions, friends, dating, etc. Also, we ...
A. 8 December 2010: Leave him alone for a while to sort his feelings out. He is probably feeling awkward right now and doesn't want to see you. When you bring love into a friendship things always get a little weird. Just let it ride for now and pick the friendship ... (read in full...)
He says he's going to change, but I see no improvement!
Q. hey everyone, im a little confused as usual in my complicated relationship. i dont know if i have like a problem and this would happen with every guy im with or if its just because my hearts not all the way in this relationship anymore. so for st...
A. 8 December 2010: You're caught up in the cycle and you need to break out of it. Your boyfriend is never going to change for good. If you don't get out this is how the rest of your life is going to be...boring, aggravating and controlling. When he changes you are ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to fantasize about women, even though I'm not gay?
Q. Hey all! Im a 21yr old woman whose had 3 serious relationships (with men). Im 100% attracted to men, believe me i know that. I love sex with men etc. However my ex was all for giving me oral and fantastic at it let me add. When we were together i ...
A. 8 December 2010: There's nothing wrong with it. It's a fantasy that you like and enjoy. ... (read in full...)
Dating is like riding a bicycle, right?
Q. I posted questions before about being cheated on for almost 3 yrs and not knowing what to do about fiance, moving on and our businesses together. Well, I am trying to move on! Here's my new question: I met a new guy, who seems great, treats me with ...
A. 8 December 2010: Go on a few dates with him if you like though and think of it as dating practice. Maybe you'll hit it off. Maybe you won't. You don't have to dive back into serious relationship territory right away. You're allowed to have fun and meet lots of ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about cheating on my girlfriend, but I don't intend on leaving her for this other girl!
Q. i am cheating on my girl friend and i am feeling really bad about it.My other girl friend broke up with her guy for me and she is in love with me as well.And just to make her feel better,i ended up saying that she is the one for me and because of ...
A. 8 December 2010: Do the right thing, go forth, and sin no more.... (read in full...)
I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him either!
Q. So my boyfriend came over today, and he doesn't have anywhere to go. I don't have any feelings for him, he knows that we are not together, but I don't know if he thinks that Im serious. I'm not in love with him anymore because of the past. I will ...
A. 8 December 2010: Why doesn't he have anywhere to go? Did his family kick him out? Did his apartment burn down?... (read in full...)
How do I trust my man with the kind of past I've had?
Q. I'm getting married next year to a wonderful man who's been nothing but compassionate, patient, loving and endearing. But before him, I was in a very long term relationship that lead to nothing but hurt and lies. My ex was always doing things for a ...
A. 7 December 2010: How long have you been in your current relationship? How long have you been broken up with your ex?
I think that you need to focus on the fact that your new man is not your ex. He has never cheated on you, been mean to you, or stopped talking ... (read in full...)
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