Like what
she writes?
... Add *uirkLady to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *uirkLady a private message | | | *uirkLady's profile:Honesty can be delivered brutally or kindly...I prefer the kind approach but I will be brutally honest at times. I don't believe in being mean just to be mean but I don't believe that sugarcoating life helps at all. I also believe that respecting yourself and others is the key to living a happy life.
I'm always straightforward...and if you don't like it, sorry about your damn luck! |
|
| Latest articles: Same-sex rape: a real and important issue
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2009: This story is my experiences as a same-sex rape victim. Female on female rape statistics are very hard to find. The overwhelming number of rapists are men, and so most rape and sexual assault information on the internet is geared to the victim of...
Let's Talk About The Problem With Nice Guys!
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 June 2009: "I was so nice to her but now she's going out with someone else!" "Women don't really want nice guys, they want assholes." "He never even noticed all the wonderful things I did for him!" If you've ever said any of these things, you might be a ...
|
don't want to leave him but hes got too much baggage... all we do is fight...HELP!?
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title. I've been with my current boyfriend for 4 years on and off and we live together now, but all we do is fight. we fight about everything from his drug dealing drinking having people over all the time and messing up the hous...
A. 21 September 2010: I'm not surprised at all. You'll stay and deal with the misery because you don't think you deserve better.
Read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It may help you when you're ready.... (read in full...)
don't want to leave him but hes got too much baggage... all we do is fight...HELP!?
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title. I've been with my current boyfriend for 4 years on and off and we live together now, but all we do is fight. we fight about everything from his drug dealing drinking having people over all the time and messing up the hous...
A. 10 September 2010: I could maybe understand if he spent money on you and you were used to a nice lifestyle, but this dude won't even buy you food! How can you marry a man who can't support you at all? What if you lose your job?
You are missing out right now on m... (read in full...)
Doesn't want a relationship but still acts as if we were still together
Q. Ok so my boyfriend of one year said that he wants us to take a break. He used to be head over heels in love with me, even so much as saying that he could see me as his wife. But this past summer was extremely difficult for the both of us and I said ...
A. 10 September 2010: Okay, I have read your response and now that I have information about the comment you made, I'd break up with him again. If he loses you, it is what it is. No point in waiting around for him to figure out when he's back in love at his convenience. ... (read in full...)
don't want to leave him but hes got too much baggage... all we do is fight...HELP!?
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title. I've been with my current boyfriend for 4 years on and off and we live together now, but all we do is fight. we fight about everything from his drug dealing drinking having people over all the time and messing up the hous...
A. 8 September 2010: You mean, physically come over there and move you away from this drug dealing scumbag loser? I would if I could!
You can do bad all by yourself. Leave and start enjoying your life again.... (read in full...)
Should I put him out AGAIN?
Q. I have been dating the same guy for almost 10 years. The first 2 years were pretty good, but I guess I always felt like he thought I wasn't good enough for him. He lost his job 2 years into the relationship and then he asked me to move in with ...
A. 8 September 2010: He needs to either move out or start seeing a therapist/psychiatrist and following a regimen. Depression is hard to deal with, true, but you have to look out for yourself and your kids too.... (read in full...)
He wants to give it another try!
Q. I was recently in a four year relationship and it ended and for good this time. I wasn't happy but 3 of the years I cheated with this one guy and everytime me and my ex split I ran to him cuz he made me feel good and I really care for him. My past ...
A. 8 September 2010: Learn how to communicate and think through things maturely so you don't go running to someone else to make you happy.... (read in full...)
Is he thinking of impregnating me?
Q. My boyfriend confuses me again and again...I am 20 and he is 36. We've been dating more than half a year. When it comes to sex, we use the pull-out method. From the first, he stated that he wanted no kids. I shrugged it off since I'm young and ...
A. 8 September 2010: "Twice, he's said that having a beautiful baby girl or a little boy that looked up to him could change him entirely."
WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP RED FLAG ALERT
This is a sign that he is going to get you pregnant, and use that baby to keep you tied do... (read in full...)
Doesn't want a relationship but still acts as if we were still together
Q. Ok so my boyfriend of one year said that he wants us to take a break. He used to be head over heels in love with me, even so much as saying that he could see me as his wife. But this past summer was extremely difficult for the both of us and I said ...
A. 8 September 2010: It's pretty simple to me. He goes out and has fun getting attention and flirting with other chicks, while giving you the verbal honey so that you stay home and wait around until he's finished having fun. He needs something drastic to change him ... (read in full...)
I slapped the man I love!
Q. I slapped the man I adore to death this weekend when I was drunk, well we were both drunk. He now doesn't want to speak or talk to me. I clearly don't want this, what should I do? A bit of back round on us. Him and I have been on and off for over...
A. 8 September 2010: What you did was wrong, absolutely 100% wrong.
With that said, I wish you loved yourself as much as you loved this cheating fool. You have trust issues because some dude texted you? No, you two have trust issues because he has cheated on you s... (read in full...)
I want the complexity to disappear, and the gentle girl back!
Q. Not sure where to begin, honestly. I'm still currently a bit flustered about the current situation I am in, but I also know that the next few hours will make or break, most likely, my future with this woman. I've spoken to friends about the matter, ...
A. 8 September 2010: 5 months in and you two already have all this drama? Can you imagine 5, 10, 20 years of this mess? Never knowing if she's going to blow hot or cold? This is supposed to be the honeymoon period, when everything is easy and fun. If it's already ... (read in full...)
Should I just walk away and find someone who is willing to love me the same way?
Q. Hi All, My question is should you stay in a relationship if the guy you have been with (we have been together 4yrs) has feelings for you but there not as strong as yours ,he just tells me he likes me very much.but i am in love with him.he knows th...
A. 8 September 2010: This is a hard problem to deal with, and you certainly have my sympathy. I can't give you a fast and easy answer. You have to decide for yourself if you can deal with being liked and having affection but missing out on real love. I personally ... (read in full...)
Older woman w/ a younger man
Q. is it wrong for me to have a relationship with a 17yr lad i am a 33yr woman with 2 children, i don't look 33 and he doesn't look 17, we both are very much in love so i wanted to know does age really matter if you're happy?...
A. 24 August 2010: It's 100% wrong. This kid hasn't seen much of life yet and you two are not on the same mental or emotional level. He is a kid half your age! He is young enough to be your son! Is he even out of school yet?... (read in full...)
Stop looking and it will happen???
Q. Good evening, Dear Cupid Community: My problem is that I'm too "friendly". Or it seems this way. Girls always look at me as a friend. I ask you this: Who you rather date somebody you helps you with you problems or talks to you often, and cares ab...
A. 24 August 2010: 1. Women can tell when you are desperate for a relationship. Nothing turns a woman off faster than a desperate guy.
2. No woman likes a guy who listens to her as a means to an end. We can tell when you do this. Nobody owes you a dang thing for ... (read in full...)
Stuck between best friends... Help!
Q. September of last year I met this guy, Trevor, and we really hit it off and started hooking up. We hung out a lot and I went to a date night at his fraternity, and he came to my formal. Things never got official and our fling ended after ...
A. 24 August 2010: I'm with oldersister - I don't see one word about either of these guys asking you out on an actual date, so that shows they aren't serious about you. People still date in this day and age. Hookups is all you have with them, and hookups are all ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's angry with me?
Q. My ex "friends with benefits" i guess you could call him was talking to me the other day and asked if i was dating anybody, he has a new gf which is why we are no longer sleeping together, i said i was dating somebody and he asked if it was serious ...
A. 18 August 2010: Love makes us all stupid sometimes. It's just part of the human condition. No need to beat yourself up about it too much. You were played by a guy you liked. It happens to the best of us. It's a hard lesson to learn but it's a good one, because ... (read in full...)
What condoms to use to keep things fun?
Q. I'm looking for suggestions on this. My wife and I have been married for ten years and she recently went off the pill. We are not looking to add anymore kids to the family at this point and started using condoms again for the first time in years. My ...
A. 18 August 2010: How about bypassing all that and getting a vasectomy?... (read in full...)
Should I be there when he has the baby over
Q. my boyfriend's ex girlfriend, used to be a good friend of mine, but we hate each other now. I have a really good relationship with my boyfriend, but his ex is pregnant, and it's his child, she's due on the 1st of January 2010, so not long now, i ...
A. 18 August 2010: Hmm. Let me see if I can guess what happened. You and this girl were friends. She was with your now-boyfriend. Somehow, they broke up and you started dating him, and now you want to know if you should help with the baby.
Why are you dating y... (read in full...)
Found pictures of his exes
Q. So I was snooping on my boyfriends computer and found pictures of several ex girlfriends sex pictures.I know he looks at them from time to time. This sucks because he has a good heart and we have been trying to get me pregnant for a couple of years...
A. 18 August 2010: Everything is still fine. I suggest you forget you ever saw them and stop snooping for no good reason. Focus on what you have today - a good man who loves you. Don't go looking for faults.... (read in full...)
Need Some Encouragement...
Q. I just need some encouragement from anyone... I finally got up the courage to ask the ex what he wanted from me, and he said he wasn't ready to give all of himself to me (due to all the hrs at work, and some trust issues). I totally understa...
A. 18 August 2010: Time, tide and you wait around for nobody. If he gets his act together he can come see you. Til then, you are a free agent. Be fair to you and what you need out of life. If he can't deal, his loss!... (read in full...)
My fiance lost his sex drive all of a sudden, one month before our wedding? Help!
Q. I'm looking for any type of feedback if someone is kind enough to help. I cannot talk to my closest friends about this because I dont want to embarass my fiancee. We met two years ago and we are getting married next month, yay! I've NEVER been ...
A. 18 August 2010: He's stressed and you need to chill out. Go get married and if this issue is still unresolved three months from now, then think about getting help. You freaking out over this is doing neither of you any good. Lighten up, enjoy simply being with ... (read in full...)
She thinks we're friends, but ...
Q. My "friend" is always lying to me and forces me to do things. If I don't she starts crying and says she will go home. She thinks we are best friends and I can't just tell her I don't want to be her friend anymore because we have known each other ...
A. 18 August 2010: Friendships don't always last forever. People grow up, they change, they grow apart. That's part of life. You and your friend seem to be taking different roads in life. If you can't tell her that you're uncomfortable with the manipulations she ... (read in full...)
Did I marry a parent?
Q. Married 2 months..went to exhibition..was there for 7 hours and my husband met up with family and they wanted coffee and my brother-in-law wanted to have a drink and so did I and my husband made me feel like shit..so I didn't go for a drink as my ...
A. 18 August 2010: When you say "I like to hit him in the head", are you seriously admitting that you assault your partner?
I have a feeling there is more to this situation that you are telling us.... (read in full...)
My friend is always late and it drives all of us crazy!
Q. Frustrating! The only word to describe my friend! Everytime we organise to do something she runs LATE!! And what's even more annoying is she never has any real excuse as to why!! Now I can understand people being 10, 15 minutes late etc.. ...
A. 8 August 2010: I would be honest with her and tell her that you will not wait on her anymore. Being that ridiculously late is disrespectful of your time. On top of that, I would mean exactly what I said. No more warnings. No more waiting. She is a grown woman ... (read in full...)
The New Tough Love
Q. He was charming, sexy, funny, and all about me. From living in his brother's basement with his dog, I allowed him into my house with my three children. One by one the true colors were mind blowing. Each layer peeled back to show his verbal viole...
A. 8 August 2010: So the story is, you had a bad boyfriend that used you, and you turned around and used him right back. And you're still together, but you sleep better at night because you're abusing him instead of him abusing you.
This is not tough love. T... (read in full...)
He's gay and doesn't like it when girls like him but I still want him to know my feelings
Q. Im a girl. i know this guy and hes gay. ive know him for 2 years and in those 2 years ive developed really strong feelings for him. but he hates it when a girls tells him that they like him. i still really want him to know how i feel. how ...
A. 8 August 2010: Here's a better question: why are you putting your feelings in front of your friend's?... (read in full...)
I do everything for my friend and want the world for her but it doesn't seem like she cares
Q. I do everything for my friend and want the world for her but it doesn't seem like she cares. she got mad at me tonight for not calling her back after her missed calls when my day was really busy, granted this happened before and she has told me ...
A. 8 August 2010: I think your friend is a bit needy and should calm down with the requests. Let her know that you have a busy schedule, and even though you love her, sometimes you can't call her right back or be right there. That doesn't mean you don't love her, ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure that my female anatomy is correct!
Q. Hey so im a virgin but ive been seeing this guy for a while and hes obviously going to eventually want to have sex sometime soon, im almost 16 and he is almost 18 now...but i am self-cautious that i might have an abnormal vagina, i know that you ...
A. 8 August 2010: If you're nervous, go to a gynecologist/Planned Parenthood office and have yourself checked out. Also talk to the doctor about having safe sex, because that is really important.... (read in full...)
How can we reconnect and rebuild the trust?
Q. So, I will give you a bit of a background regarding the situation I am finding myself in. I warn you now, there is going to be a lot of eye rolling on your part and probably an strong urge to slap me! In my defense, my interaction with men did not ...
A. 8 August 2010: You are way too good a person to wait around for some other woman's crumbs, so leave this man alone and find someone who is interested in you and only you. If he loved you he would move heaven and earth to be with you.
MOVE. ON.... (read in full...)
An all time low in my relationship! Please help me!!!!!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for just over a year now, we had a rocky start to our relationship of me running to my ex and him doing the same, the only difference was I always confessed to what I did. He on the other hand did not; I had to catch ...
A. 8 August 2010: It sounds like you two need to learn how to fight. If you are constantly having drama, then you need to step back and stop feeding into it. It takes two to tango. Try reading some relationship books and learning how to have a constructive ... (read in full...)
He says he wants me but it certainly does not feel like it.
Q. Why is it my boyfriend says "dunno" to everything, i say to him "what we doing tomorrow" his reply "dunno" But yet he complains we never do anything, i am forever suggesting things, like bobbing uptown for something to do, then he makes excuses up ...
A. 8 August 2010: Dump his lazy butt.... (read in full...)
He said he loved me but then he ended the relationship
Q. I have had this man on my mind for 15 years we met briefly back then and i was obsessed with him. he had just met someone else who he went to have a daughter with and he adores her. I wrote him a letter asking him to phone me when my marriage...
A. 8 August 2010: You answered your own question - the reality wasn't as good as the fantasy.... (read in full...)
He says he's always loved me but days later he'll date someone else
Q. So there is this guy that we've dated on and off, and a couple times he always says he still loves me and he's never stopped and then that same day or a few days later he'll date someone else...why?...
A. 8 August 2010: He's not really in love with you; he says that to keep you around while he plays the field.... (read in full...)
I need to sow my wild oats
Q. i am in a relationship with a man who already sewed his wild oats while he was younger. i havent done any of that, but i was in a couple of troubled relationship before where the sex was not so great. my bf could not be a better man and very proper ...
A. 8 August 2010: Break up with him and sow your oats, and also seriously consider getting some therapy while you're at it. It sounds like you still have some baggage from past relationships that you haven't worked out.... (read in full...)
G/f has no respect for me at all!
Q. Hello i have a question and hopefully you guys can help me out and point me in the right direction. I have been with my girlfriend for a year now, and my head is just going nuts, Im very jealous and always thinking about what shes doing etc, I dont ...
A. 8 August 2010: This sounds like two people who shouldn't be together. She sounds like a very flirty lady who is always on the edge of what is proper, and you sound like an overly jealous dude who is way too concerned about her past love life.
When this relation... (read in full...)
Was I just a complete idiot thinking she ever loved me?
Q. I'm a 37 year old single guy, a supposedly talented creative/producer who after earning my degree in Art and Design, went on to a career starting as an east end ladies underwear seller on a market, to butcher, to retail display, to head bartender, ...
A. 8 August 2010: Concentrate on getting yourself back totally together and staying sober. If she's meant to be back in your life, she'll be back one day.... (read in full...)
Why should I raise HIS children while he does time in prison???
Q. I'm in a bit of a squeeze. I've been married for 6 months to my boyfriend of 3 years. We have had continuous issues with his infidelity and disloyalty and I don't trust him. Recently he was sentenced to a minimum of 5 years in prison. When he ...
A. 4 August 2010: These chicks today!
If you had problems with his cheating and whatnot, what did you marry him for? What are you doing with a criminal knucklehead with five kids anyway?
Those kids have moms and relatives, right? Take care of them until you c... (read in full...)
He had a girlfriend an now I feel so used and lied to
Q. Become a bit on the side but I was there from the beggining. I met this guy when I was 16 we dated for a while but became distracted with having too much fun with my friends. Since then had always felt a little bit guilty about "blowing hi...
A. 4 August 2010: You had my sympathy right up until you started cheating on your boyfriend. He didn't use you. You played yourself for a fool.... (read in full...)
My baby's father and love of my life - or the new man who loves and accepts me for who I am?
Q. Okay. So. Please don't judge. Imagine yourself in these exact shoes. I am 23 at this moment in time. To give you a full understanding of my problem, I really need to tell you all of it. So here: I was never right or normal when I was littl...
A. 4 August 2010: Dang that was a lot of text....
I don't understand why you didn't tell Rafael about the situation when you were pregnant. I'd tell him now - not because you hope you'll get together, because you won't get together - but because he has bought a... (read in full...)
How do I get him to overcome his commitment issues?
Q. I have been talking to this guy for about 2 and a half months. We have been really hitting it off. We both absolutely like each other and have soo much in common its like seeing myself in a mirror. he treats me like his girlfriend, he h...
A. 4 August 2010: Show him with your actions. When he reaches out for you, you be there. When he needs someone to lean on, you be there. Treat him with respect, love and affection. Make it so that he knows when he comes to see you he will always have a good, ... (read in full...)
Is his female client interested in him or am I over-reacting?
Q. I went out for breakfast with a guy friend of mine. He and I were having fun and conversation was great. He saw a client of his from work and excused himself to go talk to her. After a short stint of time he returned to our table and we continued ...
A. 1 August 2010: Maybe she remembered something important and wanted to tell him before she forgot. Why are you so interested if he's just your friend?... (read in full...)
We like each other but he won't ask me out!
Q. I have a guy friend whom I am interested in and who I believe is interested in me. We get along great and we flirt with each other alot of the time. I'm wondering why he hasn't asked me out on a date. Now I know one reason could be that maybe he is ...
A. 1 August 2010: Ask him out!... (read in full...)
The celebrity I'm dating constantly bugs me for money!
Q. (OP's suggested title) I'm a model who is dating a celebrity (I'll call him Tyrone), most people call him a hasbeen or say his career is over... why? Because he hasn't been a star of a movie in nearly 17years. We met on Facebook and we clicked ...
A. 1 August 2010: 1. Have you two met in person?
2. When a man shows you what kind of person he is, believe him
3. He is not going to change.
4. Just because he was a star once doesn't mean he can't get a job now. What is he doing for himself now besides hitt... (read in full...)
Is this girl just playing games, and a liar?
Q. This is a bit of a story, but please bear with me. I guess i probably know the answer anyway, but typing it out might be theraputic in itself. 4 weeeks ago I started chatting to a girl online, she approached me first. We chatted and really hit it ...
A. 1 August 2010: You've never even met this woman and only known her a month, and she is already bringing all this drama? Drop her. Drop her like a hot rock!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a pothead!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 and a half years since 8th grade. he was a major pot head and last year he was sent to a boot camp for almost ten months, he made it seem like he was so changed and he wouldnt smoke again i waited for him. ...
A. 1 August 2010: If this is a major deal breaker for you, and it sounds like it is, then break up with him. Sometimes people just don't fit well enough together, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you don't want it in your life, that's your decision.
Good ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to overcome his commitment issues?
Q. I have been talking to this guy for about 2 and a half months. We have been really hitting it off. We both absolutely like each other and have soo much in common its like seeing myself in a mirror. he treats me like his girlfriend, he h...
A. 1 August 2010: Wait a second, you mean he won't ask you on a date, or he won't ask you to be his girlfriend?... (read in full...)
| *uirkLady's friends
These are mutual friends, so *uirkLady has
added them and they have added *uirkLady!
|
