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*uirkLady

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*uirkLady's profile:

Honesty can be delivered brutally or kindly...I prefer the kind approach but I will be brutally honest at times. I don't believe in being mean just to be mean but I don't believe that sugarcoating life helps at all. I also believe that respecting yourself and others is the key to living a happy life.

I'm always straightforward...and if you don't like it, sorry about your damn luck!

Latest articles:

Same-sex rape: a real and important issue

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

20 June 2009: This story is my experiences as a same-sex rape victim. Female on female rape statistics are very hard to find. The overwhelming number of rapists are men, and so most rape and sexual assault information on the internet is geared to the victim of...

Let's Talk About The Problem With Nice Guys!

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

9 June 2009: "I was so nice to her but now she's going out with someone else!" "Women don't really want nice guys, they want assholes." "He never even noticed all the wonderful things I did for him!" If you've ever said any of these things, you might be a ...

< Prev56789101112131415Next > [27 pages, 1055 answers]

Is it fair that I should down my ex to my new boyfriend in orde to make him feel good?

Q.   I'm female - when a relationship ends and a new one begins is it okay to say bad stuff about the man you have just came out of the relationship with to the new man in your life? Not vindictive stuff, just stuff that makes the new person in you life ...

A.   26 January 2010: You can tell your new man things to make him feel special without bringing up the ex. Tell him how great he is, how wonderful he makes you feel, how it feels so good to be with him, how nice it is to be with a gentleman, etc, etc. ... (read in full...)

Have a rocky relationship with my girlfriend who does heroin and I don't want to lose her, what should I do?

Q.   My question is most likely a little to big for this forum... My girlfriend and I love eachother very much. We have been dating for a little over a 3 years. We took a break about a year and a half ago for the summer because we were just getting ...

A.   26 January 2010: Let her go and give her a chance to get her life back together. If it's meant to be and the love is still there you'll end up together again.... (read in full...)

How do I get out of this chaotic situation?

Q.   I have been married since I was 19 y.o. My hubby and I had a great relationship. Since I have been laid off of work, my husband had to be the sole breadwinner. I guess the stress of him maintaining the bulk of the bills is significant, he decided ...

A.   24 January 2010: Is there any way that you can get out and stay with a friend? ... (read in full...)

She's getting closer to this other guy! How can I get her back?

Q.   My ex-gf and I broke up January of last year after two years together. Since then, she's gotten a lot closer to her best friend... who's a guy. And I know he's all for it, too, because I know he's liked her since way before I came along. The dude ...

A.   24 January 2010: You're not together anymore. She's not yours and she's free to date whoever she wants to. It's been a year since you broke up and it doesn't sound like you wanted her back until she started being interested in this guy. You need to let go and let ... (read in full...)

Should I confront her about trying to always make me jealous?

Q.   Hello, I've been dating this girl for 4 months now but she constantly tries to make me jealous, and tries to get a reaction out of me. For the past 2 months, wherever we are she'll make a remark of some sort saying, "Oh, check out that guy over ...

A.   24 January 2010: Hmm, talk to her or stay annoyed in silence...hard choice, eh? Seriously, talk to her about it. Her reaction will tell you if she's too immature for a relationship. If she plays it off, she's not the right girl for you. Same goes if she agre... (read in full...)

Pregnant to another man...

Q.   I'm a married woman, and have been married for 8 years. I love me husband and see him as the man I will get old with. He's my best friend. My future is with him as emotionally we just 'click'. Sexually we are very compatible too. He satisfies ...

A.   16 January 2010: If this is how you treat your husband, your best friend, I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies. I strongly doubt you will get the advice you are looking for, as cheaters and liars aren't liked here on Dear Cupid.... (read in full...)

Does he just need time... or is it really over??

Q.   I've been with a guy whom i fell in love with we have been going together for about a year. everything was perfect never argued till one day during the summer of 09 i told him i had gotten a call from my ex husband's friend whom i had stupidly slept ...

A.   16 January 2010: This dude is trippin! You did the right thing by hanging up on some guy who asked you for sex. Your ex - and he should stay an ex - has no excuse to claim he is hurt. You didn't see him, you didn't tolerate his call, and you were honest about wh... (read in full...)

He has NEVER gone down on me!!

Q.   So, I've been dating a guy for about 4 months. I REALLY like the guy and we have a ton of things compatible. The sex has been pretty good as well. He is really good at the actual act, but he is not one for much foreplay. He NEVER once has gone ...

A.   16 January 2010: We can make guesses, but this is one case where you have to come out and ask him.... (read in full...)

Accidental message!

Q.   my ex and i were together for over 3 years and broke up over a year ago but no one did anything so wrong..no cheating or anything..just arguments over silly things i contacted him a year later leaving a v-mail and he called me back a few minut...

A.   16 January 2010: You're trying too hard. He is going through a lot of issues right now and he needs his space. You've got to respect his request for space and give him time to get himself together. Now is the time to back up and focus on what you need to do fo... (read in full...)

How can I get it through my sister's head that I can't and will not raise her kid for her?

Q.   When my sister had her daughter, I promised to help her take care of her (for example, babysit her while she's at school). I never promised to raise her kid for her. My sister is a very blessed (aka spoiled) fifteen year old, who got involved wit...

A.   16 January 2010: She knows that all she has to do is start screaming and you'll cave. Now you have to let her know, after all the screaming is done, that you're still not doing it. Don't let her manipulate you with temper tantrums and stick to your guns. It will ... (read in full...)

PLEASE! I need an outsider's perspective about this relationship.

Q.   I had a bf almost a year ago whom I had broken up with because I found out he was cheating on me. This had hurt me so severely I was depressed for months, had nightmares and developed a phobia on certain things and places. For some reason, my ...

A.   11 January 2010: Stick to your decision. He wants to keep his access to your life, but if you think about it it's access he doesn't deserve. Did he really ask why he shouldn't see you anymore? WTF? The answer is "because I don't want to see you at all." You're ... (read in full...)

15 girl dating 20 guy.... parents is the issue.. help!

Q.   Hi, I'm Ashley. My boyfriend is Jose. I'm 15. He is 20. I live in idaho. He lives in Texas. We have been dating for 11 months. We haven't met yet but that's all we talk about. We met over the internet so its kinda hard to say I KNOW him. But I feel ...

A.   2 January 2010: Have him come out to Idaho and meet you and your parents for some supervised visiting. If he impresses your parents with his good manners and his intelligence - and he should be on his best behavior - then you can take it from there. ... (read in full...)

Blast from the past..let it go?

Q.   i met this guy about 5yrs ago he had seperated from his wife, we began as friends and over the course of a year became more than friends, 18 months ago without any explantion he stopped talking to me returning my calls text ect then on xmas eve i ...

A.   1 January 2010: Consider it partial payment for the crappy way he left you, and let it go.... (read in full...)

He left me with no means of closure. Help!

Q.   Well, here I enter 2010 with a broken heart after a three year relationship and a year and a half or marriage. My husband was suppose to join me and my family for Christmas. I left early due to my brand new born nephew and my love was suppose to ...

A.   1 January 2010: I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. I can't imagine the pain you are going through. Right now you need to concentrate on yourself and dealing with each day as it comes. It seems that he has put a lot of thought into this decision... (read in full...)

Sister doesn't realise hes bad, what can I do?

Q.   hello, i am 15 years old and my sister is 17. she has started seeing this guy from her work who is 26, the age gap doesnt bother me but what does is the fact that hes just not good and i know it. not only does he have 2 kids from 2 separate previ...

A.   1 January 2010: There's not much you can do. You've said your piece and she is going to do whatever she wants. Just listen to her when she needs to talk, and help her if she asks, and that's the best you can do.... (read in full...)

Why should I be faithful when he'll just cheat again?

Q.   i am in a relationship of 8 years and 2 kids with him and i recently found out that my fiance was cheating on me with a couple other females at his place of work. It really hurt me, but we decided to try to work it out. now i find myself resenting ...

A.   1 January 2010: Break up with him. He doesn't respect your relationship so why should you stay in it?... (read in full...)

I need to detox myself of my ex, and generally tidy up my life. Help me!

Q.   Hello advice-givers of DearCupid! First off, I'd like to say, it's so ridiculous how this whole situation plays out and all because of my own stupidity. And trust me, there's a lot of stupidity in this situation. Extremely long story short: Ex ...

A.   1 January 2010: Well, I have an easy solution for you that will be a lot cheaper than moving away or going into the Air Force. Say NO! Every time your ex calls you to hook up, say no to him. Say no to sex that makes you feel bad afterward, say no to being ... (read in full...)

So is it worth trying to talk it through with him or would you be finished with this?

Q.   I've been dating R for 3+ months. We have had a lot of fun together, but the more time that has gone by, the less enthusiastic I'm feeling. Now after the holidays, I feel hurt and angry and disappointed. I am ill with chronic fibromyalgia and...

A.   1 January 2010: Eh, it doesn't sound like it's working out between you two. He doesn't seem to respect your time at all and his unwillingness to compromise sends up a huge red flag. I agree that you should move on. Good luck.... (read in full...)

Should I tell my friend that her ex called her fat?

Q.   one of my friends just broke up with their boyfriend, and i was talking to him and he called her fat, do you think i should tell her?...

A.   1 January 2010: Why would you want to tell her something like that? Why would you want your friend to feel bad? That's all it's going to do - either that or make her happy she dumped that loser in the first place. Mind your own business. Sheesh!... (read in full...)

I want my cake and eat it too. Why not he has!!!!!!Help

Q.   I got married young and Iam very confused about what to do at this point. My husband and i have been married for 7 years and its been a ride. He has hurt me in the past in which i forgave him.Now he is giving me his all (i think) Now I have a lover ...

A.   1 January 2010: Why? Because you took a vow when you got married to forsake all others and let no one else come between you. No matter what your husband did to you it's not right to cheat on him. You may have your cake and eat it too - for now. Those things ... (read in full...)

Emotional affair with your boss

Q.   Hi. I filed a HR report against my boss. THis is a retail environment. We previously had an 'emotional affair', as is called these days. He actually wanted to be friends in spite of my HR claim. He tried being my friend again, but he ke...

A.   1 January 2010: Absolutely yes. Keep your distance.... (read in full...)

He wants to be with me 24/7

Q.   I need some help my boyfriend follows me every were evan if I go in the kitchen or to my bedroom iv evan spoke to him about it and he's says he's wants to be by my side 24 7 but I need my own space and can't evan have that I think he's obsessed and ...

A.   1 January 2010: Being together 24/7 is just not healthy. You need to tell him again how important this is to you, and if he doesn't change, you need to rethink this engagement. It's only going to get worse from here on if you don't do something.... (read in full...)

What deos it me when a guy says he doesn't want a relationship?

Q.   ive been talking to this guy i met on plenty of fish.. on his profile it says hes looking for dating.. he calls me alot even though hes on holiday.. he have good conversations and make eachother laugh.. but he says hdoesn'tnt want a relations...

A.   1 January 2010: He doesn't want a relationship. The only thing you two can be is friends.... (read in full...)

She says shes tried to be friends but just doesn't understand me

Q.   I have recently fallen out with a female friend. I've known her for around 8 months. I did like her as something more, but she rejected me. Since, it's been a bit difficult being friends, but it was working out. We got on great the last times we ...

A.   1 January 2010: I'd move on if I were you. She's clearly decided that she doesn't want you in her life and you have no choice but to accept that.... (read in full...)

Am I just someone who occupies his time?

Q.   i've beendealing with guy for 5 yrs but he has a girl who he lives with and has a 14 yr old son . he doesnt trust me but he doesnt want me around other guys or even talkin to guys. what i want t know does he hav feelings for me or am i jus someone ...

A.   31 December 2009: You're someone who occupies his time. Don't fall for that "I just have someone who lives with me and we don't have sex" because 9,999 times out of 10,000 it's a lie. If he was seriously interested in you after 5 years you would be exclusively ... (read in full...)

Why is my girlfriend lying to me?

Q.   Okay, so I have a situation where I can hardly ever trust my girlfriend. We've been together for almost 2 years and I still findit hard to believe her. Sometimes she'll tell me she's busy at work, but then if I call her up 5 minutes later, I...

A.   31 December 2009: If you feel the need to constantly check up on her and hack into her email the relationship is already broken. Move on and find someone you can love and trust instead of spending all this mental energy worrying. Good luck.... (read in full...)

I think he might feel the same way, but not sure?

Q.   im still very much in love with my first. by my first i mean the guy i lost my virginity to. it happened in the summer 19 days after my birthday. after our experience we hit it off very well and i was in high hopes that we could end up in a ...

A.   31 December 2009: You'll never know for sure until you ask him. Let us know how it turns out!... (read in full...)

I recently found out that my boyfriend is married with kids...and dating other women!

Q.   well i have a big prob i don't know what to do. I have been dating this guy for nearly year and a half now, About 8 months in the relationship i found out he is married and had kids. I was so upset. I asked him about it which he denies at first an...

A.   31 December 2009: Well now you know you are not that important to him, and he's Tiger Woods without the golf game. Put all that energy into your job search, and hopefully you will find something good. Once you get away from him you will hopefully be able to put all ... (read in full...)

I am hooked into cheating with a man just married

Q.   I had an affair and now im lost. I am married n he wasnt, he was engaged but never told me when he was getting married. He even called me the morning of his weddin to tell me he loved me. He is a newlywed cheating on his wife and I dont know about ...

A.   16 December 2009: Every time you get the urge to go back to your married lover, do something nice for your husband instead. Not only will this refocus your attention on where it's supposed to be, it will make your marriage stronger. (hopefully)... (read in full...)

I told him he could stay with me until he was on his feet. Over a year later, he's still not!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for about 1.5 years and he's been living with me for a year. He was recently divorced when we met and going through some real estate issues, and still is a year and a half later - they are still "settling" stuff! They ...

A.   16 December 2009: Yes, you are being taken advantage of. Here you are struggling and he's saving money for his closing costs? Hello? There are bills to be paid now! Where does his money go if he's living with you for free? I think it's time you kicked this man... (read in full...)

After a serious break up can a guy still be friends with his ex?

Q.   After a serious break up can a guy still be friends with his ex? She pleaded and cried that I still be her friend. I said "no" and have maintained no contact thus far. she hasn't tried to call or anything. She hurt me pretty badly (refer to: ...

A.   16 December 2009: Hold on, man. Every day you make it through you'll get a little bit stronger. I read your previous question and you're too good for this girl, and I suspect she pulled the friend thing out to keep you around in case she wants to use you later ... (read in full...)

Your average sized guy...

Q.   How are us average sized guys meant to reconcile the fact that the average sized girl can take more than 50% volume of dick that we have? Our goal is to give maximum sexual pleasure, and in almost all cases, bigger is better (up to a point) (don...

A.   13 December 2009: 1. You watch too much porn. 2. Ask women what they like best about sex and get some different answers. Trust me, it's not solely about dick size. 3. Try actually having sex with a woman before you write yourself off. You'd be surprise... (read in full...)

Will making peace with him confuse him even more?

Q.   Hi. Bit of a strange situation. A while ago I started having an affair with a guy at work and moved in with him after separating with my husband. About 6 months later another guy at work revealled that he had had a big crush on me for years and that ...

A.   10 December 2009: Just because you're single is no reason to worry about every stray single man that crosses your path. You'd be better off concentrating on your current relationship and your job and spending less time thinking about other people's mindsets. Get a ... (read in full...)

He wants to break up with me over my labia hanging looser!

Q.   I'm in dire need of explaining to my boyfriend that I am not cheating on him. He says that when we have sex that sometimes my labia hangs and is more loose than other times. Is that normal? I don't know why it is that way sometimes, and I am so ...

A.   10 December 2009: He's full of crap and is making dumb excuses to break up. Tell him that if he doesn't want to be with you, start walking so the next man can step up and be in his place. ... (read in full...)

Is this what relationships are about, or am I being taken for granted?

Q.   I've been with this guy for 6 years. I stood by his side through thick and thin, I put up with things that I would never have. Ok lately in the past year our relationship has crumbled, he's been totally emotionally abusive towards me. He claims ...

A.   10 December 2009: This is not even close to what love's supposed to be like. Love is supposed to be sharing your life with your other half and making them feel good, not penny pinching and treating them like they are the dirt under your shoes. If he's living in ... (read in full...)

He wants to be there for the birth... but what about after???

Q.   I'm really confused me and my ex partner split up four months ago he said he was feeling trapped, without thinking straight I threw him out as we were regulary arguing, I found myself regretting that when he said he was happy and didn't want to come ...

A.   9 December 2009: If he doesn't want to be with you there is no way to force him. Concentrate on making your life better for yourself and your two children. ... (read in full...)

A maneater has my man in her sights!

Q.   O.k. heres my situation. I am in love with my Fiance'. We have been through really rough times..Who hasn't. Well now lately he has really been stressing accusing me of talking to another Man. I haven't been. But we have this female friend of his ...

A.   9 December 2009: 1. After 11 years he should have married you by now. 2. Cheaters often accuse other people of things they're ashamed of. It's called projection. 3. Why is he living with his mom and not making a home for you and your child? 4. I don't believ... (read in full...)

Should I try and save what was a great relationship and could now be even stronger?

Q.   Ahh where to start.......I have been dating a girl now for almost 4 years we recently broke up, probably about 2 months ago. We had a great relationship and it all came to a fall over a house I wanted to buy. My gf and I had been looking at houses ...

A.   9 December 2009: Let's see...your girlfriend didn't get you out of buying the house that she didn't want, so instead she went off and pouted. Then she pulled this guilt tripping crap out of nowhere - HELLO, YOU WERE NOT TOGETHER, SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU AND YOU ... (read in full...)

She said she'd dump b/f and came back with an engagement ring!

Q.   My girlfriend fell in love with me and promised to dump her boyfriend, so that she could be free to be with me. After a couple of months at sea(She was in the military) she returned with an engagement ring. I was devistated... She told me that ...

A.   9 December 2009: Even if she's only marrying him for the money...do you really want to be with a woman who would do that to someone?... (read in full...)

Flaky girlfriend never calls or is always late (but didn't used to be)

Q.   This girl and I were together 4 years, broke up, had new FB/GFs and then got back together (sort of). She often says she'll call me at a certain time, or we'll hang out, but then I don't ever hear from her, or she'll call hours later to cancel our ...

A.   9 December 2009: She doesn't respect your time AND she doesn't think you're important. Find someone else to connect with.... (read in full...)

Her ex boyfriend won't leave us alone and refuses to believe she has moved on!

Q.   I have been dating this girl for the past 7 months and we are very happy together. There is a problem though, her exboyfriend will not accept that they are not together any more. She has told him several times to move on but he refuses to do so. He ...

A.   9 December 2009: Your girlfriend must never talk to him again. PERIOD. All conversation must be through the cops or a lawyer. Get a restraining order and if he comes around again, call the cops. Neither of you should talk to him - do not engage him in any way. ... (read in full...)

He wants to be there for the birth... but what about after???

Q.   I'm really confused me and my ex partner split up four months ago he said he was feeling trapped, without thinking straight I threw him out as we were regulary arguing, I found myself regretting that when he said he was happy and didn't want to come ...

A.   9 December 2009: How long were you two together?... (read in full...)

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