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*uirkLady

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*uirkLady's profile:

Honesty can be delivered brutally or kindly...I prefer the kind approach but I will be brutally honest at times. I don't believe in being mean just to be mean but I don't believe that sugarcoating life helps at all. I also believe that respecting yourself and others is the key to living a happy life.

I'm always straightforward...and if you don't like it, sorry about your damn luck!

Latest articles:

Same-sex rape: a real and important issue

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

20 June 2009: This story is my experiences as a same-sex rape victim. Female on female rape statistics are very hard to find. The overwhelming number of rapists are men, and so most rape and sexual assault information on the internet is geared to the victim of...

Let's Talk About The Problem With Nice Guys!

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

9 June 2009: "I was so nice to her but now she's going out with someone else!" "Women don't really want nice guys, they want assholes." "He never even noticed all the wonderful things I did for him!" If you've ever said any of these things, you might be a ...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [27 pages, 1055 answers]

I do love him a lot but am I a mug?

Q.   This is a long story lol.. Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years ( 6 Month break between) we have a 2 yr old daughter also. Anyways at first he was perfect but after aa while of him smoking drugs I ended with him an found someone kn...

A.   1 December 2010: You can be strong, it just takes a lot of daily practice. I suggest a daily affirmation that you can repeat whenever you are feeling down. Something like, "I am strong, and I deserve to be happy every day of my life." Because you are strong, even ... (read in full...)

What went wrong? Why his change of heart? Can I get him back?

Q.   I have recently had a breakup with a guy I dated for 2 months. It was a short relationship, but everything seemed from the first date and so on. We went out every single week since we met each other. In each one of the dates we felt we had so many ...

A.   1 December 2010: Talking about a five year plan after just two months? Yeah, he was way ahead of himself. He realized he was going way too fast and would end up married like his friend soon, and he didn't even know you that well. That's why he took himself out of ... (read in full...)

I do love him a lot but am I a mug?

Q.   This is a long story lol.. Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years ( 6 Month break between) we have a 2 yr old daughter also. Anyways at first he was perfect but after aa while of him smoking drugs I ended with him an found someone kn...

A.   1 December 2010: If a guy spent my daughter's Christmas money on going out I would freaking go HULK SMASH on him. He is a loser. Dump him. If he is still mad about your breakup he shouldn't be taking it out on your child!... (read in full...)

Is it normal to be really concerned about potentially catching an STD?

Q.   Is it normal to be very hesitant about dating new people because you don't want to get an STD? Everyone seems to not care and it makes me wonder if I'm worrying about it too much. However, I feel like most people would lie if it's convenient. I ...

A.   1 December 2010: I also think it's great that you are taking these risks seriously. There are steps you can take to reduce the risks of catching anything, like condoms for genital contact and dental dams for oral contact. You can find them at Planned Parenthood or ... (read in full...)

We've been seeing each other for 2 months now but he said we were only hanging out?

Q.   Im 18 years old, and im seeing this guy thats 20. We're not official yet, we're just getting to know each other, etc. We've been seeing each other for a little over two months now, but have only had 4 dates in those two months as he tends to be b...

A.   1 December 2010: This all stems from the way you're looking at it. You're looking at it like "it's been two months." He's looking at it like "we've been on four dates." He's taking it slow. He definitely likes your company, but he doesn't want to move fast. ... (read in full...)

He doesn't like me yet we came close to having sex

Q.   I need some advice on how to get ovr this guy I really like. He says he doesn't like me, yet we have made out before and was very close to sex. I am tired of feeling hurt around him. I see him at school everday, but next semester he is moving. ...

A.   28 November 2010: Stop seeing him right now. If he doesn't like you he doesn't deserve your love or sex. He is not going to stop hurting you and he is not gonna like you more if you have sex with him.... (read in full...)

We only got back together because he promised not to lie, but he is telling lies again already

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been in a relationship for about 5yrs, he was married for 19 yrs and I for 21 years. During the time we have been together he has cheated on me (he says only 1 time but I'm not sure) and have gotten busted lying to me ...

A.   28 November 2010: Move on. Why try to change someone who's clearly shown they can't change? You'd be better off beating your head against a wall.... (read in full...)

It just seems too good to be true!

Q.   I don't know what exactly to think about my relationship. I'm absolutly in love with my boyfriend we have been together for 14 months happily. We both plan on getting married as soon as possiable. Then we plan to go college together to be ...

A.   28 November 2010: Life takes a lot of twists and turns and you never know where you will end up. Enjoy today and today's happiness and don't stress too much about the future. If it happens, that's great. But if it doesn't, that's okay too.... (read in full...)

He says he has bigger problems to deal with than me

Q.   Me and my ex where together for about 3years During those 3years we lied to each other I was a very jealous person who did not let him do anything. We had breakups and eventually got back together. During that time we ended living together I was ...

A.   28 November 2010: I am very very sorry sbout your loss. Your ex-boyfriend is no longer your boyfriend and does not want to get back together with you. When he says he has bigger problemns, he means that you have moved down the importance list. Your relation... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants my baby to remember me by

Q.   ok im going out with this girl in new york but im moving to florida and were in love and she wants to have a baby that she can keep so it like a piece of me i cant even tell my parents anything how would i tell them how would i tell her mom i dont ...

A.   28 November 2010: Why doesn't she want you to tell your parents? That would be their grandchild! I swear I do not understand these selfish girls nowadays who just want a baby for ish and giggles. Get her a photo album or something. Sheesh!... (read in full...)

My boyfriend keeps referring to the issues in my life as "baggage"1

Q.   I'm going through a tough time right now and need some advice. I am In love with a man who constantly refers to the things going on in my life as baggage. To break it down these are the things he has issues with and how I'm dealing with them. Firs...

A.   28 November 2010: I don't see your issues as baggage myself...these seem like ordinary life issues to me. A car payment is normal, a long drawn out divorce is normal these days, and with this economy, unemployment is sadly normal too. Take this as an insight ... (read in full...)

No trust, controlling or lying by ommission

Q.   I work away from home for long periods of time. Somebody recently told me that my wife cheated, she denies it, but it is plausable. I love my wife and she hasn't really lied to me, the other person has, but i still have doubts. For some reaso...

A.   28 November 2010: At this point I would advise relationship counseling. It sounds like both of you have trust issues and that resentments have built up in your marriage. I think only a professional can detangle this for you two. If she won't go, you go by ... (read in full...)

We have an open relationship, but how do I go about explaining to him that I'm not comfortable with this one girl?

Q.   My partner and I have been together for three and a half years, and have been living together for one and a half of those years. We've recently both been feeling quite trapped (he more so than I, admittedly), so we've decided to try out an open ...

A.   26 November 2010: I have severe doubts about the future of your polyamorous relationship. Why wasn't he telling her to leave him alone when you two were exclusive? Why wasn't he setting boundaries with her and respecting your relationship? From what I know, an... (read in full...)

Why does he still have photos of his ex with such easy access to them?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years now. 4 years ago my boyfriend got out serious year and a half relationship. 2 years later he met me but sometimes I just have this feeling that he still as feelings for his ex ...

A.   26 November 2010: Stop being so insecure. He's with you now and he never thinks about those old pictures. They are nothing but ancient history and you are here and now. Stop dwelling on it or you'll lose him.... (read in full...)

Will he leave his girlfriend of 20 years for me?

Q.   i have been seeing this guy for about six months. ive known him forever. hes 17 years older than me. hes had a girlfriend for like 20 years or so. they dont live together, they never have. he sees her maybe four times a month, but he comes to see me ...

A.   26 November 2010: You see right now that he has no problem with cheating. Is this really the man you want a future with?... (read in full...)

What do his messages mean?

Q.   Right, please bear with me here! About a month ago a guy started talking to me online. The conversation was general and based on a common rugby team we both supported. The conversation got gradually more flirty and it was at this point he decided...

A.   26 November 2010: He gave you the ho test and you passed. Let me explain. Sometimes, when guys meet a girl, they test her to see if she is down for a no strings attached sexual relationship. This is called the Ho Test. When he told you he was married and sent... (read in full...)

Does he just want to use me?

Q.   okay there's this guy that i really like maybe even love but he has a girlfriend.he knows i like him and he like me as well but likes is girlfriend more so we have been just keeping it as friends.we talked almost every night til about 11:00pm and ...

A.   24 November 2010: Don't wait around, Miss I Know He Has A Girlfriend But I'm Gonna Flirt With Him Anyway Because I Want Him For Myself. Leave him alone and focus on single guys.... (read in full...)

Why wont he date me?

Q.   I am seeing this guy but we are not dating. We have been seeing eachother for about 3 months now and recently talked about dating. He does not have a job and is on parole. He says he isn't stable enough for a relationship for those reasons. I have ...

A.   24 November 2010: Jeez, woman, maybe you should try listening to what he is saying. He doesn't want to date you. He has his own issues that he wants to sort out. His issues have nothing to do with you and you should try to slow down and stop appearing so ... (read in full...)

Should I just face my feelings and confess them?

Q.   I regrettably have feelings towards another man. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a man for almost my whole adult life and we have a child. Nearly two years ago this was challenged for the first time. A man with whom I work suddenly took ...

A.   24 November 2010: Can you transfer to a different department? Switch your hours? As long as you're around him all the time you will have to fight these feelings. Distance will help them fade. In the meantime be very careful. You might find yourself without ... (read in full...)

Star-crossed lovers.........

Q.   ~ Long story short...My ex and I have an intense unexplainabe bond. Our history is bizarre. From point one, we were two bulls in a china cabinet. We've never been intimate. We are familiar with each other...but...wee don't know each other. We h...

A.   24 November 2010: Enforce a six-month period of no contact and get yourself into therapy. Dysfunctional relationships are the worst and people end up dragging their issues into other relationships, as you did with your friend. Address the problems inside yourself ... (read in full...)

He said I have a wide vagina and now it is stopping me from enjoying sex!

Q.   well.. i just met my bf 3 months ago.i became crazy about him.wanted him he has a great mind great body.he's complete for me.lately i had problems with my family and work because of him.everybody thinks he's a bad guy they want me away from ...

A.   24 November 2010: In the short term you can do some exercises called Kegels, which if you do enough will give you a kung fu grip down there. But I have to say it's not a good sign that your boyfriend is causing problems after only three months. I can see maybe yo... (read in full...)

He disrespects me, ignores me, takes me for granted -- and still I can't leave!

Q.   Someone please help....My boyfriend is treating me like dirt but i love him so much. I know I don't deserve this, but i can't seem to leave him. I've been living with my boyfriend for about a year now. At first when we were dating he was a complet...

A.   23 November 2010: He's never going to change. You have to change yourself. You have to know and believe that you are strong and deserve better. Sure, you will be sad and depressed for a while after you break up for good, but eventually you will become stronger, ... (read in full...)

Why won't he apologize for cheating?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. Eight months into our relationship he cheated on me and I forgave him. Shortly after that we moved in together and everything was good until 4 months ago.I found out he cheated again. He will not talk ...

A.   23 November 2010: He doesn't feel like he needs to apologize because it's not like you're going anywhere. He's not sorry and he feels like he can do whatever he wants now. Reclaim your power and dump this loser.... (read in full...)

I feel dumb

Q.   Hi im erica and i have been with my boyfriend for about 4 years we have a little boy whos 2 when we first got together everything was good with us and after like 1 year he started acting wierd he would go out alone and leave me at home i was about 4 ...

A.   23 November 2010: Cheater, abusive, in jail. I wouldn't bother with a guy with one of those problems, let alone three. Unfortunately you made a bad decision have a baby with this guy so he is always going to be in your life. Doesn't mean you have to be with him ... (read in full...)

My ex husband is back to work it out!

Q.   I'm 23 and I'm beginning to realize that life really can suck. My ex-husband and I had been together for two years before we got pregnant. He was uber supportive through the whole thing. But right around when our son was six months old, he got ...

A.   23 November 2010: I'd be honest with him that if he wanted to give it another try, he would have to step up with the kids first and show them (and me) that he had turned over a new leaf and was ready to be the dad they need. See if he can do that. If he ... (read in full...)

How do I handle this situation?

Q.   I met a guy online last year and we started talking a lot because we shared things in common and he was planning on moving to my city for graduate school the next year. He is not my usual type but he is a good person and I tried to give him a ...

A.   23 November 2010: Better to be a jerk than a doormat. The next time he calls, be perfectly clear that he calls too much and he needs to back off. When he starts on his controversy kick, tell him in straight terms that you aren't interested in debating. Some people ... (read in full...)

She invited me to a birthday party at the last minute?

Q.   How would you react if girl invited you to her birthday party at the last minute? A girl who's been flirting with me asked me to come to her birthday party a few weeks before that event, but she didn't specify the time and location, just t...

A.   21 November 2010: 1. "Thanks!" 2. It wouldn't. 3. Yes I would, because she did invite you after all, and to not wish someone a Happy Birthday over something silly like this is just spiteful.... (read in full...)

HELP! I feel betrayed by my boyfriend! what do I now?

Q.   I feel like my boyfriend has betrayed me. He puts other people above me. He doesn't even open up to me anymore. He opens up to his friends. What's the point of having me around if he can't open up to me? Some of his friends are wonderful. I ...

A.   21 November 2010: So, wait, you're upset that he has a best friend that isn't you?... (read in full...)

Why can't I leave him? He's getting married !

Q.   I've been seeing this guy for almost three years now. We've never been "official" because he always had a girlfriend/fiance. I didn't find out about her until about a year or so into our relationship, and by then I was too emotionally involved to ...

A.   21 November 2010: You can start by changing your phone number. But seriously, what do you expect from him? Truth? Honesty? Fidelity? You've been fine being the other woman and getting scraps of his attention for years, so why should be bother to change now? Fa... (read in full...)

How do I stop from being so maternal or bossy?

Q.   How do I not be so maternal or bossy? So, in my last relationship my ex was a bit younger, had less education, and seemed to need help doing certain things. As his girlfriend, I always tried to help him when he needed it. I didn't think it was wro...

A.   21 November 2010: In my experience, lots of people really hate it when you offer to do everything for them. It's a pride thing. They like to do a lot of things themselves, so sometimes even if you know you can help them, you just have to bite your tongue and not ... (read in full...)

My choices are a cheater, or a man who doesn't love me!

Q.   i have known my boyfriend for 5 or more years but we just recently sarted dating and just found out he cheated on me but i anm in love with another man that doesnt want a relationship. i love my boyfriendbut what do i do....

A.   21 November 2010: Don't date either one. There's too many other great men in the world!... (read in full...)

Is he just playing mindgames with me and that's it? Advice?

Q.   I'm confused and lost. I'm totally in-love w my guy friend of many years. I never in a million years thought that he would be interested in a me. I never thought I was his type. Recently, he's been giving me compliments. Most of communications ...

A.   21 November 2010: If he's not making time to see you, he's not really interested. He's just playing around and blowing your little head up for the ego rush. Now he's got you thinking about him and saving yourself for him while he is going out and living his life. ... (read in full...)

My ex won't leave me alone!

Q.   I hate my ex, he's so selfish. Ever since we broke up in May, things have been his way. When he wanted to talk, we talked, when he didn't want to talk, we didn't talk. When we broke up I met another guy, who was interested in me and told me he l...

A.   21 November 2010: You don't owe him jack squat. You don't owe him answers, the time of day, the leftover toast on your plate, or even a thought. He has proved himself unworthy of your time and attention, so he doesn't get any! Let him stew in his own hatefulness ... (read in full...)

Should we get married?

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 11 years we have 2 children together aged 9 and 8. She really wants a commitment from me in the form of marriage but I haven't given it yet. I have never had an interest in marriage but it's really important ...

A.   21 November 2010: Go ahead and marry her. It will make her really happy and it honestly will not change your life like that. The Marriage Police are not gonna come to your door and shackle you with leg irons. You'll have a party and save some money on your taxes, ... (read in full...)

Still scared of my abusive ex boyfriend?

Q.   I have this abusive ex boyfriend whom i been with him for 2 years and after i decided that i had enough of insults,pain and hurt i broke up with him then the drama started as i never excepted he turned into a very obssesed person that may beg and ...

A.   21 November 2010: I am very proud of you for breaking up with him! He sounds like a total loser and you are much better off! Now is the time to keep yourself safe. If he calls, don't answer. Don't have anyone talk to him for you, because then he learns he can s... (read in full...)

Help!!! Should I tell my boyfriend that my ex tried to call me?

Q.   My current boyfriend who I am seeing for 7 months now used to be my bestfriend. There is no secret he doesn't know especially about my ex who I have struggled so much to forget for almost a year. Anyway, he helped hasten my coping up with the brea...

A.   21 November 2010: You didn't answer it so I don't see how this could hurt him. You stayed strong and ignored that loser. I'd tell him, and throw in a little something about how his love made you stronger or something like that. He'll love it :)... (read in full...)

Should I try to become "the 1950's" model wife?

Q.   My question is should I try and change myself to try to be perfect all the time and basically be the 1950's wife (I have accepted the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids, but I dont agree with the "Dont speak unless spoken to")? My husband ...

A.   21 November 2010: I'd tell him that he married me knowing exactly the way I am, and it was for better or worse. If he wanted someone who was exactly like his mom he should have married her instead. Don't like it? There's the door, and say hello to the man who's ... (read in full...)

How do I move on when he keeps pulling me back in?

Q.   I'm having trouble moving on after a past relationship that has lasted over ten years. About eight years ago this man had cheated on me, it was like this rollercoaster ride ever since. I was so in love with him and made every effort to work on ...

A.   21 November 2010: I suggest that you consider talking to a therapist. This relationship sounds like it has affected you deeply and I think you need more help than we can give you here. Also, I suggest that you end all contact with this guy, as he knows that he ... (read in full...)

Friends, lovers then friends again... but what are we now?

Q.   I dated/lived with my ex-boyfriend for about 7 months. (we broke-up 5 months ago.) At the end or our realationship I became very insecure and was convienced that he wasnt into me anymore. This eventually broke us up. At first when we broke up we did ...

A.   21 November 2010: Right now I think you should just go with the flow. You are still rebuilding your relationship and rebuilding trust. He is still watching to see if you have really changed. It's only been a few weeks so please, relax and enjoy the happiness. ... (read in full...)

My "friend" stole the girl I love...

Q.   Well what do you think when your friend takes the girl your in love with even if you weren't dating this girl. I have been interested in this girl for longer than most people would have interest for. I have liked her for about 6 months and hav...

A.   21 November 2010: Your friend hooked up with her because he asked her out while you're doing the equivalent of slipping her notes. If you stand by and settle for trying to make her laugh you will be passed by a lot of guys. Just be honest that you want to date her... (read in full...)

She's married, but won't leave her marriage for me! How do I get over her?

Q.   I'm married and have been having an affair with another married women for the past 5 years. My children are married and on their own, she has a 13 year old at home with her and her husband. She has said she will not get a divorce for the sake of her ...

A.   21 November 2010: Your poor wife. I feel so bad for her. Have you no shame?... (read in full...)

He claims to care about me but then he goes cold. Is this a waste of my time?

Q.   i am in love with a friend. we were getting closer than just friends and then he called me (cuzz). Didn't quite understand where that came from. Just a day before that, he spent the night with me. no we didn't do anything. we just layed and talked ...

A.   21 November 2010: He doesn't feel the same way that you do, and he only wants to stay friends. ... (read in full...)

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