A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm stuck in a rut.I've been with the same guy for almost a eight years now. I love him more than anything. He's my best friend. He loves me just as much.I know that he loves me, not ONLY from what he says, but the lovely things he does for me. We've been together since I was a teenager and he's helped me through every difficult event in my life. The best times in my life have been with him.. the worst times, he has been there to hold my hand. We can talk about anything to each other, share the same interests and both love the city we live in.Only problem is - one HUGE problem - he hasn't made any kind of commitment to me. Neither of us have been with or seen anyone else all these years, but we haven't progressed as far as even moving IN together. I'm ready to buy a house. I'm ready for us to take this thing forward. We are a more functional couple than ANY other couple I know of! Only problem is, something is always in the way.. one of us is between jobs.. or last year when we discussed buying a house, I was studying so we had to can the plans.I seem to be the only one that raises the topic of marriage, house or any kind of forward movement! I've talked to him about this SEVERAL times, but he says, "I love you too.. of course I want us to start our lives together.." But nothing happens!Now that this has gone on so many years, it's really killing me inside. My family take pleasure in running my "lack of progress" life down into the ground like breaking my heart is some kind of sport!Right now I'm looking for work, as the contract in my last job ended. I'm broke, I live with my HORRIBLE family that use this as a chance to vent their frustrations about other things in their OWN lives.. and I'm stuck in this relationship that seems to have a giant great hurdle in front of it.Any advice is a help. Thanks
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 You stuck it out 8 years with a guy with no marriage proposal? Sorry to see this happen to you, but it does. May I honestly suggest reading "10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives" by Dr Laura Schlessinger. I thing you'll find your answer there and learn why you let yourself be walked on for 8 years.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): Thank you guys.. really appreciate your advice :O)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): If it isn't broken. Don't fix it.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (15 December 2010):
 I suggest that you talk to him again and bring up the lack of progress. Tell him you want more out of life, and although you two have been good together, you want marriage and cohabitation and the whole nine yards, and you've waited long enough. Give him a deadline - say, six months. If he hasn't proposed or put a bid on a house/apartment, you tell him that you are looking for different things in life and perhaps it's best that you move on. Sometimes guys get too comfortable and need a kick in the butt to do what they are supposed to do.
Or, if you're not in favor of that, you can propose to him.
Good luck.
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