Like what
she writes?
... Add *uirkLady to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *uirkLady a private message | | | *uirkLady's profile:Honesty can be delivered brutally or kindly...I prefer the kind approach but I will be brutally honest at times. I don't believe in being mean just to be mean but I don't believe that sugarcoating life helps at all. I also believe that respecting yourself and others is the key to living a happy life.
I'm always straightforward...and if you don't like it, sorry about your damn luck! |
|
| Latest articles: Same-sex rape: a real and important issue
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2009: This story is my experiences as a same-sex rape victim. Female on female rape statistics are very hard to find. The overwhelming number of rapists are men, and so most rape and sexual assault information on the internet is geared to the victim of...
Let's Talk About The Problem With Nice Guys!
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 June 2009: "I was so nice to her but now she's going out with someone else!" "Women don't really want nice guys, they want assholes." "He never even noticed all the wonderful things I did for him!" If you've ever said any of these things, you might be a ...
|
Why is he with her when he says he felt this way about me? Opinions, from men especially, appreciated!
Q. My ex boyfriend tells me that hes never felt the way he feels when he kisses me with anyone else. He has a new girlfriend (he got back with a long term ex he was with before me) and even though he wants to see me sometimes, no signs of wanting to ...
A. 14 September 2009: He's not confused. He is telling you all this bull in order to keep you around when he'd like some sex. Think about this...he's only complimenting your sexual skills, not you as a person. Do you really want to be with someone who only cares about ... (read in full...)
How do I get more control in this relationship? Don't tell me to leave him, I love him!
Q. im 15 about to be 16 and my bf is 18 turning 19 in a few months. i really do love him. we have been through hell and back twice together. but even since the beginning of our relationship we have brought out the absolute worst in each other. im a ...
A. 14 September 2009: It's important to value yourself and treat yourself and everyone you meet with respect.
When his friends hit on you, tell them it's disrespectful and you won't tolerate anything like that in the future. That goes for the smacking and grab... (read in full...)
B/f talking to online girls but he says he was just being "friendly"
Q. Is my bf cheating on me? I caught him using an online dating profile website. He said he hasnt met any of the girls he had talked to though. I read some of the messages back and forth between him and this one girl and he is def flirting with he...
A. 14 September 2009: It's not your fault. Not by a long shot. Don't take his disrespectful actions upon yourself, because you don't deserve any blame. You ARE good enough, and honestly I think he doesn't deserve you. It's not your fault at all.
His actions ... (read in full...)
I'm positive he's cheating but I don't want to say anything. If I ignore it, can I still make things work?
Q. Hello, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend now for nearly four years and I love him very much. We do have our problems from time to time but that's because "one" of us has anger issues. He has hit me one time after I slapped him but I ha...
A. 13 September 2009: I'm giving you the side eye right now, Kate Gosselin. Frankly, I want to know if you're going to change too. Oh poor you, you forgave him for things you won't mention...after two sentences of pointing out awful things he did. Nice job on the ... (read in full...)
I'm definite proof that nice guys finish last
Q. OK, so I've asked questions on here before, got some advice, but a year on, I'm still in exactly the same situation. I'm now 25, and still never had a date. Never had a girl say yes when I've asked her out, or don't think there's ever been a girl ...
A. 13 September 2009: Women don't date men with no self-confidence. You can be nice all day and all night, but if you act like no one could want you, no one will. Personally I don't want to be with a guy who doesn't like himself. I want to be with a guy who knows he's ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will not stop groping me in public!
Q. this is slightly, well very, embarrassing, I'm posting this out of sheer desperation, so please serious replies only! My boyfriend is um, rather disinihibited in public. This includes mainly groping my bum, breasts and talking about sex in ful...
A. 13 September 2009: If he can't get a clue, he can't have you.... (read in full...)
At 21, is it too late to learn and be loved ?
Q. I've always had problems socialising and making friends, as in I have no idea how to form relationships. This also means i've never had a girlfriend. I just have no confidence, feel like im imposing myself on people and generally just clueless. ...
A. 13 September 2009: Pfft, 21 isn't old. You still have milk on your breath.
Anyway, instead of becoming a bitter hater, consider picking up some books and learning some social skills. It's tough at first, because it will feel overwhelming and a bit artifici... (read in full...)
B/f and I can't stop fighting and don't know what to do about it!
Q. hi im in need of help see me and my boyfriend have been having trouble lately we can not stop fighting and i dont know how to tell him my problems because he get every thing out of order well see we where having sex every day and night until i got ...
A. 13 September 2009: I suggest that you simply sit him down one night and tell him what's going on with you. If you're not comfortable with sex so often, you have to tell him. Now that you two are having a child together you will both have to work on your ... (read in full...)
Ex is being a hypocrite trying to do this!
Q. i need help here. i had a messy breakup with my ex fiance. part of the reaon was i was friends with another guy and spoke to him on email which he didnt like. i have lived with my mistake ever since but now he has come back into my life on facebook...
A. 13 September 2009: Your ex is a certified idiot, that's why.
Don't fall for this mess. He wants you around when his wife isn't! Man, I feel sorry for her.... (read in full...)
He doesn't help, all he does is argue
Q. I am a Mother of 4 and my husband of 11 years never spends time with me or the kids! All he does is hang out! He doesn't help all he does is argue. He is very verbally abusive! We often argue about money because he doesn't want to help me buy ...
A. 13 September 2009: I suggest that you talk to a divorce lawyer and figure out your options. I also suggest that you save as much money as you can, and talk to your friends and family (the ones you can trust) so that hopefully they can support you in this tough ... (read in full...)
Dated a girl, then her sister, now I want to date the 1st sister again
Q. Ok when I was in 7th grade I was 14 going on 15 I started to date this girl who was 14 and in the 8th grade, we'll call her BB. I dated her for maybe 4 months and then the summer came. Over the summer I never saw or called her once, needless to say ...
A. 13 September 2009: So...you dumped her without a word and then dated her sister, and you think she's going to go out with you again? Dude, I am surprised she even gave you the time of day.
I strongly suggest you find someone else to be interested in.... (read in full...)
I love her, hate her b/f but I know he makes her happy
Q. This is still about the same girl. One year later she is still with the same guy.... This summer i called her because one of our friends said that she wanted to talk, when i called her she wasn't even the one to answer the phone, it was the friend ...
A. 13 September 2009: I don't think you should talk to her right now. You are clearly in love with her and further contact will be painful. When love comes into a friendship like this it's hard to maintain the friendship because one of you is going to end up hurting.... (read in full...)
B/f talking to online girls but he says he was just being "friendly"
Q. Is my bf cheating on me? I caught him using an online dating profile website. He said he hasnt met any of the girls he had talked to though. I read some of the messages back and forth between him and this one girl and he is def flirting with he...
A. 13 September 2009: He's got a screwed up definition of "friendly". Friendly is talking to other people and being honest with them, not hiding the fact that he has a girlfriend. If he's just being friendly he would have put that he has a girlfriend on his profile; ... (read in full...)
Should I stay secretly unhappy in love?
Q. I need help? I am in a de-facto relationship of 18 months, we have bought a lovely home together. I love him very much but unfortunately it is the old hollywood line "I love him but I'm not IN love with him". I don't want to hurt him, I thought I ...
A. 13 September 2009: From what I know, this is fairly common around the 18 month mark. The hormones wear off and it doesn't feel like it did when you first started going out. This is why a lot of relationships flounder at this point.
I think that you should give it ... (read in full...)
B/f cheated on me with ex
Q. I have been in a relationship with a guy for the past 9 mos. When we started dating he had came out of a 10 year relationship and had a 6 month old son with his ex. I was hesitant about dating him at first because of this and had told him on quite a ...
A. 12 September 2009: I agree with everything quiet echo said. Move back home and focus on taking care of your child. Your ex has proven that he is irresponsible and a double talking loser, and frankly he and his ex deserve each other. It's not like she kicked him ... (read in full...)
My mom wrote a very hurtful message on my facebook and now I hate her
Q. Hi all. I really need help here. I have a Facebook account, and I posted that I was interested in women and men for friendship and networking. I never thought deeply about it until a week ago when my mom sent me the following Facebook message...
A. 7 September 2009: Perspicacious:
I explained to her what I meant, and all she said was "whew!" My mother never apologizes. Frankly I am offended that she considers such an act "being turned out" and being gay is not a disgusting lifestyle by any means.
KaleenaC:... (read in full...)
How can I have a relationship where I won't get hurt and abandoned?
Q. This is kinda long, so I hope you all have the patience to read it. I'm not good at shortening things and this kinda takes place in a lot of time. Flash back to about 8 years ago when I was around 4 or 5. We lived in a city in Utah called Orem...
A. 6 September 2009: That's where the therapist comes in.... (read in full...)
Why can some women be so cruel and man hating?
Q. Hello i would like opinons first from the guys have you experenced this secondly from the girls do you treat guys like this and why. I was out the other day saw some beautful women many of them so decided to talk to a few i had a beer so decded ...
A. 6 September 2009: First off, you are not entitled to a conversation with anyone. Just because you speak to a person does not mean they have to speak to you back. It's nice if it happens, but it's certainly not required. If someone doesn't want to talk with you, ... (read in full...)
Is he trying strange tactics to get me back?
Q. Ok, I have this small problem and I have posted other questions on this site and it has always helped me. I was seeing someone for 4 years. I ended it with him 3 weeks ago because we went on holiday and it was good but when we returned, he was...
A. 6 September 2009: This dude is a freaking nutbar and not worth your time or friendship.... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend, but I don't know if he loves me, one minute he's happy with me, and the next angry with me!
Q. I don't know what to do. I love my boyfriend, deeply, but I don't think he loves me. You see, we've been together for 3 years already, and things were going great until a few weeks ago. I don't know why. I mean we have had issues, because he's ...
A. 6 September 2009: Yeah, he's the whole package, except for the fact that he is an abusive, emotionally manipulative control freak.
Love should never hurt you or make you feel like you're walking on eggshells. It should never make you change your essentia... (read in full...)
My friend killed herself and I just don't know how to deal with it
Q. So I am about to be 18 in a month, and ive had this friend since I was 14. She's been a great friend and we dont get to see each other often so we just talk alot on the computer. I found out last night that she hung herself the night before and no ...
A. 6 September 2009: I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had more to say to you. But, here are two websites that are very helpful:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/suicide/MH00048
http://www.survivingsuicide.com/cope.htm... (read in full...)
How can I have a relationship where I won't get hurt and abandoned?
Q. This is kinda long, so I hope you all have the patience to read it. I'm not good at shortening things and this kinda takes place in a lot of time. Flash back to about 8 years ago when I was around 4 or 5. We lived in a city in Utah called Orem...
A. 6 September 2009: I think that you should consider talking to your parents about seeing a therapist. A professional counselor will help you uncover the root of your trust problems and help you learn how to open up your heart again.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
How do I get back the love of my life?
Q. Dear Cupid (I guess it's an appropriate why to start), I have been going through quite a bit of distress and frustration the last 2 months or so. I never thought I would turn to a service like this for advice or answers but I've come to the poin...
A. 6 September 2009: From what you've written in your letter, I don't think pursuing her is the way to go. She jerked you around quite badly at the end. It's one thing to develop feelings for someone else - unfortunately, it happens - but it's quite another to lie to ... (read in full...)
How can I stop obsessing over my girlfriend?
Q. I know the title is a little bit misleading, but I find myself obsessing a little bit too much over my girlfriend. I am a 21 year old male and she is a little bit younger than I am. I care a lot for my girlfriend. We've been dating for about 6 ...
A. 6 September 2009: You've already identified the problem, and that's the first step. Now, when you notice that you have these feelings, try to acknowledge them out loud, even if it's only under your breath. Try saying, "I accept that I am feeling anxious", for ... (read in full...)
Two friends fighting over a boy and I'm stuck in the middle! Help!
Q. Hello :D Okay so my friend has a boyfriend and they are perfect together, however my other friend has started to like him. Both friends are in a huge feud and I seem to be caught in the middle of it. Both of them usually come to me for a shoulder...
A. 2 September 2009: First off, your friend who's not dating the guy is wrong as can be. Friends' boyfriends are always off limits, always, always, always.
I think you need to tell them both that you're out of this situation now. You have listened to them in the p... (read in full...)
After we became sexually active he told me he just wants to be friends!
Q. I just royally screwed up. I started seeing a married man. I told him it was over because I knew it was wrong after we became sexually active. Now the feelings of love wont go away. When I didnt care he did. Now I care and he is distant and ...
A. 2 September 2009: He's not confused.
He seems to be clear on the fact that he wants a sexual relationship with you. He gets everything else from his wife. All that "let's be friends" bullsh*t is a game to get you close so he can lure you in with sweet talk and... (read in full...)
I need a male sex buddy..where would I find one?
Q. I am a 22 year old female that wants to have sex but I can't find a good partner that would do it with no strings attached Am I wrong for wanting a very sexy man to put it on in my area that wont kiss and tell and that will promise not to force a ...
A. 1 September 2009: Try Craigslist.... (read in full...)
He sent me a flying kiss, is he a playboy?
Q. hi friends.i actually neede some counselling.and before i forget id say thanks in advance.and now for my problem.i am from a middle class family.and i love to spend my time in my balcony.four days ago i was standing in my balcony with my half wet ...
A. 1 September 2009: LOL, can't hate a troll who uses Shakespeare. I wish I was a glove upon your hand so I could pinch your cheek!... (read in full...)
Should I go out with him, or should I just get back at him
Q. I went out with this dude for 2 weeks, i broke up with him cuz i didnt want to be in a non-serious relationship, i mean he's player, always flirtin with other girls and he used to go out with 2 girls at once plus he didnt really treat me good. its ...
A. 1 September 2009: The best revenge is moving on and living your life to the fullest.
Cancel the plans, don't contact him again, and focus on making your life the best it can be. Why worry about a jerk that isn't worrying about you? Life is too short for that cra... (read in full...)
Is my co-worker hinting that he wants something more?
Q. I have a co worker with whom I´ve been hanging out a bit more lately. We´ve being co workers since 7 years ago, but never looked at each other as such more than that. He has a Girlfriend who works in the same company as well, only in different ...
A. 1 September 2009: "He has a girlfriend"
It stops right there. As long as a man has a girlfriend he is not dating material.
Also, listen to what he said...if someone starts treating him better, he will leave his girlfriend IF SHE DOESN'T CHANGE, meaning ... (read in full...)
Is this my fault? This is not how I imagined love and commitment to be!
Q. So I have been dating the same guy for 4 years. Well, we had an 18 month break in between where we still saw each other and slept with each other daily. I continued to help pay his rent and taking care of his daughter during this time. I felt like ...
A. 1 September 2009: This isn't the way love and commitment is supposed to be. At all. Your problem is that you don't stand up for yourself enough. 18 months? That should have been 18 hours, tops. Plus, he showed you his true colors when he kept you on the side and ... (read in full...)
My sister married a loser, and how she and I never speak.
Q. My Older sister was in love once before, and engaged. Her previous relationship cheated on her and got the girl pregnant. Now, she left that guy and met the guy she is married to now. and he is a total loser. No job, no drive, no personality. He...
A. 1 September 2009: First, do not ever say a bad word about him to her or anyone she knows. You can have those thoughts, but keep them to yourself. She chose him and you need to respect her choice.
Second, I'd contact her and tell her that you miss her and hope she... (read in full...)
She had sex with this guy and 6 of his friends and now they're all calling her an easy slut!
Q. One of best friends is Lily she is 20 and is a cool girl. She is really quite and jsut a really good girl , the kind of girl parents they had. She really lieks this jock type guy from our college and she just confided in me that a few nights ago she ...
A. 1 September 2009: She really needs a friend right now. Just listen to her, make her happy, and be nice to her. With time this all will pass.... (read in full...)
Ladies, do I just not understand how women think? Men, am I being taken for a ride?
Q. Here goes all on a plate for the last time so I would be greatfull of honest and good advice not told how we done wrong and what we done wrong. So here it is I was seeing someone I was working with, we were so like best friends that much I woul...
A. 1 September 2009: All love is not good love, and sometimes what we think is love is really addiction to a thrill. If neither of you understands how to have a good, respectful, loving relationship, it is going to careen into walls all the time. An honest relationship ... (read in full...)
How can I get the relationship with my daughter back on track?
Q. I have a 27 year old daughter who left home and does not speak to my husband, myself and my son. She does speak to my twin sister and my sister does not share what is going on in her life and that has made my sister and my relationship rocky. My ...
A. 31 August 2009: Something major must have happened between you all for her to cut you all off like that. That's not normal at all.
You can try contacting your daughter and let her know that you miss her and that she is welcome to come and talk to you. It's up ... (read in full...)
I want to go out with him, but I feel that the age difference is holding me back! What do you think?
Q. Ok so Ive met this one guy online a few months. We live close and I actually found that we go to the same college. Well we met one day and hit it off. He is a sweetheart and I really like him. I think he has serious boyfriend potential. He is pretty ...
A. 31 August 2009: I think that you should give him a try and see what it leads to. You might be pleasantly surprised. Two years is not that much, and you might end up having some of the best times of your life.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Why he just joking? Why did he do this?
Q. O.k.. When i was younger about 15 i was dating this guy. We dated for a while but never had sex.. we broke up when i moved and i didn't see or hear from him again until seven years later. i just recently ran into him again and we have been seeing ...
A. 30 August 2009: DTMFA. (Dump The Mother F***er Already.) He is a liar and a cheater, who is running a game on you so he can have his cake and eat it too. If he loved you, truly loved you, he would never have lied like that and for so long.
Please don't allow hi... (read in full...)
He keeps asking me what I like sexually and I don't know how to answer it!
Q. I'm dating a guy I really like, but he keeps asking a question I don't know how to answer. More than once, he has asked me what I like in bed, or what turns me on, and I really don't know. I've only slept with one guy besides the one I'm currently ...
A. 30 August 2009: Be honest with him and tell him you have not tried a lot of things, but you're willing to experiment if something comes to mind. Then, if you think of something you'd want to try, you know that he is open to trying it out with you. You can also ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to do the best for her and she's distancing herself from me
Q. Should I admit to seeing my partners writings and how can I deal with this? Recently my partner made a list of things she wanted. 1. To visit her family. (500 miles away) 2. To go on holiday abroad to the sea. 3. To move in to ...
A. 30 August 2009: Oh, I should have read this followup before my mailbox....
You need to leave her. Right now. You have the truth staring you in the face and now is the time to act on it. Either talk to her and tell her, or walk away and leave a note. Actually... (read in full...)
Why can't I leave the married man I'm living with?
Q. I am living with a married man, who is not divorced, or seeking divorce, wife left 4 years ago, neither is legally separated, yet both are property owners of the house that this man lives in and which I reside with him at his request. Did not know ...
A. 26 August 2009: Stop saying you can't leave. You can pack your bags and walk out at any time. There's no gate in front of the door, only the gate you have created in your mind. You have determined for yourself that you are willing to settle for crumbs in order ... (read in full...)
Commitment phobia boyfriend
Q. What am I supposed to do when my boyfriend (been together for 3 years, lived together 2 years) tells me that: - in order to be fun a relationsip must be commitment-free - he's not sure he's gonna love me forever because he might not like me in t...
A. 26 August 2009: I don't agree that a good relationship must be commitment-free. I think that committing to someone else is one of the most loving things I can do. Even if it doesn't last, for as long as we are together I am demonstrating my love and affection not ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to do the best for her and she's distancing herself from me
Q. Should I admit to seeing my partners writings and how can I deal with this? Recently my partner made a list of things she wanted. 1. To visit her family. (500 miles away) 2. To go on holiday abroad to the sea. 3. To move in to ...
A. 21 August 2009: I agree with everyone else, you are too good for her.
She admits that being with you doesn't feel right, but she is happy to use your money, your time, and your feelings for whatever she needs. She cheated on you, she lies to you and she makes yo... (read in full...)
| *uirkLady's friends
These are mutual friends, so *uirkLady has
added them and they have added *uirkLady!
|
