My husband masturbates and he thinks it's perfectly normal...
Q. Is it normal for a happily married man to masturbate? My husband recently admitted that he still masturbates and thinks this is perfectly normal behaviour we have a good sex life, is it normal for happily married men to masturbate? ...
A. 29 June 2005: Yes, this is normal. Its also normal for Women who are married to masturbate. Who cares how many times the engine is warmed up as long as its parked in your garage every night? Pops... (read in full...)
Don't know if I should keep my boyfriend's age a secret...
Q. dear cupid, well I have been dating this boy I know, but the problem is he is 23yrs old and I am 15yrs old. Do YOU think we should keep it secret like what we are doing now or not? Please give us advice ok?...
A. 27 June 2005: I don't know where you live, but in most English speaking countries, he has no business dating you. You are below the age of concent, and what he is doing makes him a pedophile- that is, a Child Molester ! Stop it. We all know why you are attracted ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else feel like this..?
Q. Sometimes I feel like everyone hates me and that I'm no use and don't have much of a future because I'm not worth anything better. Does everyone feel like this from time to time?...
A. 27 June 2005: Depression and self hate is more common than any other mental disorder. Get professional help if this goes on for more than a few minutes. Spend time each day listing all your good qualities, characteristics, and skills. List your bad habits. Work ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that I won't last long enough when it comes to real sex...
Q. I'm a 19 year-old virgin and am afraid I will suffer from premature ejaculation. I feel that I just won't be able to control it once the time comes. Is there any way to tell before I've had sex? ...
A. 27 June 2005: Are you contemplating hiring a hooker? She is the only one that is going to charge you for each clamax! There is no such thing as a pre-mature ejaculation with any lover. Only the first time you climax ! Really, you can take the pressure off by ... (read in full...)
I love women and I'd love to date, but I never know what to say and I'm getting discouraged!
Q. I hate to say this, and I'm probably one in several thousands, but I'm a male approaching 24 years of age and I'm still a virgin. I've not got a great deal of confidence when it comes to pulling women, even though I love them to bits. I've never ...
A. 27 June 2005: Don't treat them differently than you would a male friend. Ask a woman you are attracted to to join you in some hobby activity. Don't make it more than that. If the two or you get comfortable, it will be easier for you to ask her out on a " Date ". ... (read in full...)
Why do all the boys go for sexy girls, and not girls like me?
Q. O.K, I'm an Indie gal, and all other boys go for preps, and I kinda get left out here. Why do boys go for sexy girls and not the goth/mosher/indie girls?? :'( I really want a boyfriend, but the last (and first) boy I asked out rejected me! I get ...
A. 26 June 2005: I agree with Bev. Connolly. You should also consider that because of your family heritage, you look exotic to most of the young men, and that can be very intimidating at their age. If they are caucasion, they may believe that you will be only ... (read in full...)
All I can do is imagine us together, since he's in Coventry and I'm in Oxford...
Q. I like to go on msn regulary and I have met a lovely guy on it. He is so lovely and I really want to be with him. But the only trouble is I live in Oxford and he lives in Coventry. I don't know what to do as his parents won't let him down to Oxfor...
A. 26 June 2005: sounds like one or both of you is still living at home, which makes me suspect that you are both minors. When you are no longer living with your parents, and neither is he, you will find a way to get together, I am sure. Keep up the communication ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got boring, then I found myself dating a 36-year-old. What do I do next?
Q. I'm 19 and I have a boyfriend that I've been seeing for over 3 years. He's six years older then me. We have our own apartment. I love him and he loves me. But the thing is I have recently been feeling like we need a break. My b/f has just got really ...
A. 26 June 2005: Age should be a concern at your age. He has much more experiences at his age than you can possibly know, and he will have different interests than you do. Keep him as a friend, and maybe a lover, if you choose, but look for someone closer to your ... (read in full...)
I worry that, when I meet my text-guy, he won't like the way I look...
Q. I met this guy a month ago and have been texting each other since and he wants to meet up with me again. I really want to see him again and maybe start a relationship but I'm scared he won't like the way I look seeing as he always has a really ...
A. 26 June 2005: Talk to the ladies that do your hair about beauty tips. They can be a big help, or refer you to others who can help bring out the best in you. They can also teach you about using make up to highlight your best features. then contact him. ... (read in full...)
It wasn't full-on sex, but since then, I don't know if I've wrecked our friendship!
Q. I've become pretty good friends with a girl that I have worked with the last six years and I have had a crush on her for a while. We've gone out together a few times but never alone, always with other friends. She had a party at her house and af...
A. 26 June 2005: Call her> She may be embarrassed to contact you for the same reasons you are shy. Tell her you enjoyed yourself at the party, and see if she responds. If she is embarrassed, she may pretend that she was so drunk, she doesn't remember what happened. ... (read in full...)
Months go by without me seeing my ex... then when I do, all the old feelings come back!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years now (living together for one year) and we've been going through some hard times. There was this guy I was dating for about a month before I started with my current boyfriend, and there wa...
A. 24 June 2005: NO. This is not unusual. You haven't said what the attraction is. Is it Physical? Does he remind you of a particularly loving moment? Whatever. Once you fall in love with someone, you will probably always have some small portion of your heart given ... (read in full...)
We talked for years about having kids one day, and now he says he never wants to have them!
Q. I'm not sure what to do. My boyfriend and I have just bought a house and after talking for the last year about having children in a couple of years, last night he turned to me and said he never wanted children. I desperatly want children, and he h...
A. 24 June 2005: Run, don't walk, to the very nearest lawyer, and sue to get your money out of the house. Leave this jerk. Any man that would lie about something as fundamental to a relationship as children does not deserve a second thought. I married a woman who ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a schedule that he won't alter for anyone, including me, so I never get to see him!
Q. I have this boyfriend, who I've been dating for 2 months now. We live in the same city, only about 15 minutes away from each other. This guy works a full time job Monday thru Friday until 4:30 pm each day. He gets home around 5. Well he has a th...
A. 24 June 2005: You can't. Tell him he either changes "his Rules" or eats your dust. You are worrying about pissing him off, when he has already pissed you off? Come on ! Are you a doormat, or what? Its one thing to try to get along with someone new you meet, but ... (read in full...)
His ex-girlfriend rings him, and vice versa. Am I the bad guy for wanting it to stop?
Q. My boyfriend, whom I have been dating for about 8 months, still talks to his ex-girlfriend almost every day. It bothers me because I feel that he is not over her; even though he tells me they are "just friends". She always calls him when she is d...
A. 24 June 2005: What's wrong is his lying about the calls. Talk to him about this- he's obviously not fooling you, and is actually hurting you more than if he just told you the truth. As for the relationship, he is with you. If he wanted to be with his drunken ... (read in full...)
We're trying to take it slow while she sorts out her feelings... but she's pushing me away again!
Q. I'm back, if you know my story then this is a follow up. I talked to the girl I had the kiss with and she indicated that she had fun with the kiss. She said it was great fun when we kissed and at the exact same time we were kissing some firework...
A. 23 June 2005: I think you are misreading her. She has told you that her problem with her " best friend" is that she can't fulfill her " wifely duties to him". I hate obtuse language, but that means, to me, that she is not having sex with him. She is feeling ... (read in full...)
He promised a week ago never to binge-drink again... but he's already at it again!
Q. I have been with my bf for 14 yrs. We have 3 children 10, 2, & 1. Over the yrs we have been through some rough times and always managed to come out of the other side. B But this time i really dont know what to do. He tends to binge drink and i fe...
A. 23 June 2005: People run to the bottle, or drugs, or other women because they can't face the real problems that knaw at their guts. With married men, its usually related to finances, and their job. They are not experiencing the success they had hoped for, and ... (read in full...)
Nine months apart and it's like we can't remember how to have good sex together!
Q. My hubby and I have been married for only three weeks. We lived together before we were married and had amazing sex all the time. Then, we were away from each other for 9 months. Since we've been reunited and married, the sex has been terribl...
A. 23 June 2005: I agree with D-missy. Sex is a participatory Sport ! Get involved. If you don't like what your partner is doing, tell him to take a break, and take Charge. Women really run the fuck, whether they are agressive or passive, so quit kidding yourself ... (read in full...)
Until now, I've stuck out my rough relationships because of the kids. But now I'm attracted to someone else...
Q. My Husband and I have been together for 10yrs now with 3 kids. We have had a stuggling, abusive relationship. I should have left him a long time ago because of his actions. Now days it has been better, and it seems like he has matured and wants to ...
A. 23 June 2005: And where the kids go after you leave this abusive man? How about attending counseling classes with your husband that deal with the abusive behavior? Contact your local mental health organization, or start with your phsician, and get a referral from ... (read in full...)
Can't meet people through my job or through friends. What can I do?
Q. Hello, I am a 20 year old male who has never been in a relationship or even had a close woman friend until recently. In high school I was a very shy person and never had the opprotunity to make many friends. But after graduating, I have noticed ...
A. 23 June 2005: You purposely picked a job so that you would not have to meet people. Come on. If you really want to meet people, join a group. What are your hobbies? Pursue them, or find some new ones that involve other people. Do community service work, or ... (read in full...)
He says he wants me, then he says he doesn't care. Where do we stand?
Q. I have been dating a man for 1 year. Shortly afer we met, about one month into it, he pressured me to have sex with him and sex was mostly the topic he discussed. I gave in to him too soon, but I liked him and didn't regret it after. After the firs...
A. 23 June 2005: Your BF is not mature. Either walk away, or wait until he grows up. ... (read in full...)
Wondering about the pro's and cons of getting married and having kids young, versus waiting...
Q. Hey, I am 19 and my bf is 25. Not a huge gap, but that is not really the problem here (if there is a problem at all). I am just wanting to know the positives and negatives of getting married young vs waiting til later in life. Also having kids (I ...
A. 23 June 2005: You don't tell us enough to give you any specific advice. Are you living on your own? How long? Are you employed? Doing what? Earning how much? Are you in school? How much longer until you finish and are able to join the work force? Is your fiance ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if she likes me, but I'm very attracted to her. What can I say? What if she rejects me?
Q. Hello I am at presently passing through a very disturbed state of mind and I want a help from you. The reason is that I am in love with a girl whom I have started liking. I am in very deep love with this girl but she seem to never think abou...
A. 20 June 2005: Dear Kartik: Rejection is part of the game. I once asked a classmate out to a concert, and she not only said no, she said the reason was that I was not Jewish! Now, I did not ask her to have my babies; just go to a concert with me. I was bummed out ... (read in full...)
I'm willing to go down on her, but she doesn't return the favour!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for a few years now. I am more than willing to, and do, go down on her pretty often. The problem is that she refuses to give me head. I've tried talking to her about it, but she hasn't ever really given me an ...
A. 20 June 2005: Always be clean before engaging in oral sex. You may also help matters by trimming the hair on your penis, and around it, so there isn't a big bush for her to put her nose in if she give you head. You can also wear a condom to assure her that she ... (read in full...)
Will things get more awkward if I tell her how I've fallen for her?
Q. I've just finished my first year at university where I’ve made some absolutely brilliant new friends. Particularly, I’ve met a girl who, to put it plainly, I’ve fallen head-over-heels in love with. Recently we’ve spent a lot of time together and we ...
A. 20 June 2005: Talk to her. Tell you how your feel. If she is getting on so well with you, and spending all this time with you, and not her boyfriend of two years, she may also like you as much as you like her. She needs an excuse to drop the other guy. Or, she ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's fantasies are all about me and other guys... and he wants me to talk about the ones in porn mags!
Q. Advice please, need opinion: My b/f & I watch porn. He says he's not interested in the women. He wants me to see other men, then asks my opinion on them bodywise(?). He buys magazines with men in them. He looks at them even when I'm not there, a...
A. 20 June 2005: Is it possible that you boyfriend is still trying to work out his own sexual identify? Is he Bi-sexual? Does he really know? This sounds way to much work for you to handle at this time. Walk away. Tell him to come back to you when he knows its only ... (read in full...)
When my husband admitted he'll always love his old g/f, it make me insecure...
Q. I asked my husband if he still loved his old girlfriend and he replied he will always love her but only in a caring way. This makes me feel insecure. Should I feel threatened and/or insecure that he will always love her? Thanks....
A. 20 June 2005: NO, you shouldn't feel insecure. Believe him. Surely you still love your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, etc. even though you no longer live with them. We all meet other people and sometimes fall in love with them. Sadly, you learn you ... (read in full...)
Was I out of line being offended that my female friend would show an interest in someone else?
Q. I had a very regrettable night the other night with my female companion who I have known for over 2 years. We were just doing the usual thing, having a drink at the table we were at the club we regularly go to. All of a sudden this guy decides ...
A. 20 June 2005: Have you considered that you may have been set up by your girlfriend to get you to move to a greater committment to yer. You say you have been dating for 2 years. Most women want some kind of committment for marriage by then. Where are you at? If ... (read in full...)
My family will freak about a 12-years age gap, but it doesn't really matter to us...
Q. I am 19 years old (female) and am dating a 31 year old male. We really hit it off well and have a lot in common and he's a really nice guy. I was just wondering if 12 years is a big deal of a difference. I don't want to tell my family about him or ...
A. 20 June 2005: Take it slowly. Does your boyfriend have friends his age and does he relate to his agegroup well? If not, he may be in an psychological state of arrested development, and you will soon pass him by, maturity wise, and have little in common with him. ... (read in full...)
My girl's dad found out some of my history as a stupid kid, and now he won't let me see his daughter!
Q. Guys or Girls, I really need your help on this one because my life depends on it. You may ask well how can a problem with your girlfriend effect your life? Well it's because my girlfriend is my life ya see. Before her I was a lonely "boy". I didn't...
A. 18 June 2005: Eric: Life does not end so soon. If you were a monster, you need to take the time to restore and repair your reputation. Get a job. Get an education. Get a hobby. Help others by joining a volunteer organization. Let people get to see the new " you ... (read in full...)
After she told me that we have sex "wrong", I was at a total loss...
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. Recently though, she has told me that I have sex wrong. Maybe not "wrong" but that it's just sex to me. I love the girl to death. To be honest, I feel I love her more than she me, but this is ...
A. 18 June 2005: Oh, good grief ! Ask her what you are doing wrong. And listen when she tells you. Study books on sex techniques. Get videos and watch them with her. But the Better Sex series from the Sinclair Institute. They are very good. Mostly, learn about the ... (read in full...)
Her online chat log suggests that more was going on than she admits... What do I believe?
Q. Is her story a lie? Hello, i need some advice about my relationship. I have been seeing a girl for four years now and we are serious. For the last two years we have been in a long distance relationship and we are hoping that in the next 6-9 months ...
A. 18 June 2005: You are not old enough to have a relationship with a woman. Spend time with the guys,until you grow up. Once you have developed self confidence, and a good self image, you will be ready to offer yourself to someone, who you respect and admire. ... (read in full...)
She seduced me... and now we keep having sex!
Q. Hi , Me and another lad are the only 15 year olds around our area and the girls are all 12-13. So we only see them. We both fell in love with the same 13 year old but she goes out with my mate. But now her best mate (12) wanted to date him and keep...
A. 18 June 2005: STOP ! What you are doing is a crime, and can land you in jail. These girls are below the age of consent in most jurisdictions. That means that they can't " legally " seduce you, or consent to having sex. They are the victims, regardless of their ... (read in full...)
The guy I like can't seem to move past the trauma of 2 years ago...
Q. I really like this guy at work and he likes me too but there is a problem: 2 years ago his fiancee died in a car crash and he can't seem to move on with his life. He tells me when the time is right we can be together but when is the time right? I ...
A. 18 June 2005: Ask him to get professional help for Grief counseling. Most funeral homes can make referrals. Or ask his medical physician for a referral. If he is not ready, don't push it. Grief is a very strong emotion, and some people don't ever get over the ... (read in full...)
How can I get back with the guy I broke up with? I know it was a mistake finishing with him...
Q. I was with my ex feller just a month but known him for years. He is 17 years older than me! We finished in April after I finished it for someone else. Me and that someone else lasted a day as I realised what a mistake I done! Then I ended up being...
A. 18 June 2005: all you can do is ask your ex. Its his choice. You don't sound too old, so I have to wonder what you possibly have in common with a man 17 years older than you. If you are making these kinds of mistakes, it may be more a function of your youth. Slow ... (read in full...)
Sex is fantastic with my mate's mum. But what if my mate finds out about us?
Q. I am faced with a real problem. I am a 18 year old who is seeing a 47 year old woman. The problem is she has a son who is one of my best friends. She used to be married to a very successful businessman but they got divorced five years ago. She has ...
A. 18 June 2005: Her conduct is inappropriate, at the very least. Not very many women her age have sex with, or even an interest in 18 year old boys. If the roles were reversed, the man would be considered a pervert, if not a pedophile. She needs to find someone age ... (read in full...)
He and I just click together and we love to cuddle up... but I feel like such a pervert.
Q. Im 32 years old, been married, but now divorced. I go clubbing every weekend, I live for the moment, and enjoy life to the full. I met last year, through another friend, this lad. we got on realy well, had the same thoughts on life, he loved mu...
A. 18 June 2005: An 18 year old Boy is still a Boy. Move on. He's not ready for a relationship, and you are way too old for him. Find someone closer to your own age. pops... (read in full...)
I got pregnant and he totally changed. Now he'd rather be at the pub than with our son!
Q. Dear Cupid I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about three and a half years. It was a rocky start, he has three children from a previous marriage. He appeared to be crazy about me in the beginning. I got pregnant and he changed....
A. 18 June 2005: Get professional help. I suspect that you also changed. And, lets not forget that having a baby in the house also changes things. He's trying to make sure there are no more babies for him to support. pops... (read in full...)
I shouted a name during sex, but it wasn't HIS name!
Q. Tonight I was at my ex-boyfriend's house. Even though we're technically no longer together, we still feel strongly about each other. We were having the best time together. We never have as much fun as we did tonight. We just really hit it off. ...
A. 18 June 2005: Good grief Girl ! All this over just calling out the name of an ex when you are making love? What will you do when you have a real crisis? Like being late to meet him for a date? Or burning his dinner? Slow down. YOu are making way too much out... (read in full...)
I shouted a name during sex, but it wasn't HIS name!
Q. Tonight I was at my ex-boyfriend's house. Even though we're technically no longer together, we still feel strongly about each other. We were having the best time together. We never have as much fun as we did tonight. We just really hit it off. ...
A. 18 June 2005: Good grief Girl ! All this over just calling out the name of an ex when you are making love? What will you do when you have a real crisis? Like being late to meet him for a date? Or burning his dinner? ... (read in full...)
We argue and he's jealous of my time with my friends, but I feel like I can't move back home, either...
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 10 mths now and I've been living with him for the last month. Sometimes we get on so well that I feel like he's my soulmate, but then every 4 or 5 days he brings up something to fight over and I can't handle i...
A. 18 June 2005: Jealousy is simply a reflection of self doubt, and poor self image. I always ask people who are acting " Jealous", what does he/she have that you don't? How can you get it?Does it really matter? Don't you have other characteristics that are more ... (read in full...)
Dad won't even meet my boyfriend, because of his religion!
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for over 5 months now and I really love him, but my dad doesn't like him and won't meet him because of his religion. What should I do?...
A. 18 June 2005: Just how serious are you about this relationship? If your father objects to the " boy" because of his religion, I suspect you have been taught in your family that you owe your family to a duty to date and marry only within your own religion. If you ... (read in full...)
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