Sometimes he acts a bit of an idiot, but I think I like the guy from my drama class...
Q. I have known this guy from my drama class and we have been friends (Not best friends or anything) since we were 10 (14 now) and we walk home together after drama and its great and we get on well. Trouble is, I have started to have uh...feelings fo...
A. 9 October 2005: The next time he asks you about other girls, ask him if he likes you? At least you will make him think about you as more than just company on the walk home. If he has any brains, the question will tell him you like him. If he is as slow as you say, ... (read in full...)
Advice needed about coming off the Pill...
Q. I'd like a bit of advice from any women who've been on the Pill before please. I came off it last month and now my period is 2 weeks late. I've had sore boobs and mood swings (the symptoms I get before my period) but I still haven't come on....
A. 9 October 2005: Talk to your doctor about this. He/she is the best counsel. Other women can have had similar experiences, but still not be the same, and any advice they give you may then be wrong. This is a medical question, and should be addressed to your doctor. ... (read in full...)
Help me to overcome the nervousness I get when I'm chatting with girls!
Q. I am a 22 year old man and am single. I am very nervous when I am chatting with a girl and always feel that they are not interested in me at all. I have been to pubs, clubs and so on. I wondar if someone tell me a few techniques to know girls' body ...
A. 9 October 2005: And you are not nervous talking to men? EVERYONE is nervous talking to other people. You don't know them, they don't know you. So what? How do you get to meet people and get to know them unless you talk to them? Quit ovsessing over things that all ... (read in full...)
I moved on from my married man... to another married man. Why do I do this?
Q. I ended a 2 1/2 year relationship with a married man about 6 months ago. Since then, I have become close to someone who told me he recently ended a relationship with another woman and had no contact with her. However, I just found out that he has ...
A. 9 October 2005: have you considered that you may date married men because you want to be safe? You don't have to make a commitment, you can end it at anytime, and the guy can't make a stink or his wife will find out? Sounds like a ticket for failure, but one that ... (read in full...)
My man and I have been together 10 years, but I'm still in love with my husband...
Q. I lost my virginity and got pregnant by my high school sweetheart. We only lived together a little over a year. We we were just too young to handle everything then, we split up. I filed for divorce and he refused to sign the papers. This is about...
A. 9 October 2005: I don't know where you live, but in most countries, today, not twenty years ago, you don't need your husband's permission to get divorced. See a new lawyer, and terminate that marriage for both of your sakes. Yes, you can be in love with two people, ... (read in full...)
The household I grew up in makes me embarrassed to have normal sexual feelings!
Q. I am a 24 years old male and want to know if there is a relationship between sex and depression. I have realized over the time that I get depressive feelings when I think about sex and this is linked somehow with my mother's feelings about sex as ...
A. 9 October 2005: You are 24 years old? Why are you still living with mother? Why are you still trying to please her? Of course it is not wrong to have sexual desires towards the opposite sex, as long as it is not your mother ! Get away from your mother, and your ... (read in full...)
My bad relationship in the past makes me wary of my current boyfriend...
Q. How do I know if a guy is sincere? I have been going out with my bf for just about 3 months and I feel confused because he is 24 and I'm 20 and he has had a lot of experience with women and I've only had one bf before him (actually an ex-fiancee)and ...
A. 8 October 2005: Your instincts are probably correct, and the answer has to be no. When in doubt, don't. What you realize is that you are dragging baggage from your past relationship into this one. You may not be judging him fairly right now, but you can only be ... (read in full...)
What's the definition of compatibility in a relationship?
Q. How do you know if you are truly compatible with someone else?...
A. 8 October 2005: Are you comfortable talking to her/ him about your deepest feelings and secrets? Are you comfortable being with her physically, and is she comfortable being with you physically? Do you look forward to seeing her every morning when you wake? Do you ... (read in full...)
I don't want to end his friendships, but must he be so chummy with his ex-girlfriends?
Q. Hi there, I was wondering if you could help me figure something out? I have a bf who I have been seeing for about 4 months now and it just so happens he is good friends with his two exes. This makes me feel uncomfortable and as though they are a ...
A. 8 October 2005: Your bf wants companionship, and anything else he can get. He is not ready to commit to anyone, and that is why he has a lot of exes. Join them. Dump this guy, and find someone who is mature enough to recognize you for the gem you are. ... (read in full...)
My guy left me to be with his pregnant ex. Should I just move on?
Q. I have been with this guy for 7 years off and on and we have 2 kids together. We separated about a year ago and he started seeing this girl he had cheated on me with before. This girl became pregnant, and me and him got back together. For 9 months...
A. 8 October 2005: Move on. Any guy who will cheat on you will do so again. I know this is going to be hard on your children, and on you, but he has made his choice. Say good by and good luck to him. Maybe he will grow up some day. Don't take your disgust with the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend needs very specific conditions to reach orgasm...
Q. My boyfriend cannot come unless it is through anal sex. If we have vaginal sex he will not come. And even this takes a long time before he gets to that point. Well, recently he expressed to me that this has never happenned to him before. So I ...
A. 8 October 2005: Unless he gets to a professional mental health counselor, who can delve into what his problem is, who could possibly guess. I can think of half a dozen reasons why he might be having this problem, but would not be able to narrow it down unless I ... (read in full...)
He's only "thinking" about going out with me. What's going on?
Q. This boy I like he says he likes me and his girlfriend just dumped him not too long ago. We flirt a lot. Lately he has been avoiding me. It's been going on for about a month. I asked him out and he is always saying 'I'm thinkin about it'. What sho...
A. 8 October 2005: Find another guy. He's not ready to date again, or at least does not want to date you. Don't let his indecision drive you nuts. Its his loss. ... (read in full...)
He's so into me that I'm worried that I don't feel as strongly as he does!
Q. What does it mean that it's better for the guy to like you more than you like him? Isn't love supposed to go both ways? Or is it meant that girls shouldn't have the burden of being in love or loving a guy who treats them indifferently? As of now, ...
A. 8 October 2005: When in doubt, don't. You are too young to be thinking about permanent relationships, so stop it. And don't allow any man to " slack off" after awhile in how he treats you. Good manners are the basis of all charm, and charm is the match that lights ... (read in full...)
I've lost the excess weight, but I'm still worried that my body will turn off my boyfriend!
Q. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex, but there have come times when we've come close to it--my problem is that I used to weigh 200 pounds and through diet and exercise went down to 130. The bad side is that I was left with a sagging tummy and breasts ...
A. 8 October 2005: Talk to your doctor about your general health, and see if he or she can recommend any further exercises to reduce the loose skin, or sagging breasts. Other than plastic surgery, you probably can't change what is. Stop obsessing about how you look. ... (read in full...)
A new attraction is helping me overcome my recent heartbreak... but I feel guilty about it!
Q. I've kind of met a new girl. I didn't plan on being with anyone so soon because me and my ex broke up only a few weeks ago and it was hard for me. Now this new girl has come into my life and I'm starting to feel happy once again. We're both just ...
A. 8 October 2005: You are perceptive that you may be dragging into a new relationship some of the problems from the old. Sit down and make a list of the good and bad of the old relationship, and be honest in assessing the blame between yourself and your ex over why ... (read in full...)
First time sex with my boyfriend. Should we go to a hotel, or do it at home?
Q. I've been seeing my bf for some time and we both would like to have intercourse with each other for the first time (we are both over 20 and are going to be protected, of course) but should we rent a room in a hotel or have it at one of our houses? I ...
A. 8 October 2005: Ask him. Not us. You are not planning a wedding reception. Most people are not this clinical about their first time. If you are both virgins, I suggest you spend some time talking about sex before getting undressed. But do it someplace away from ... (read in full...)
My son's father comes and goes... but mostly goes!
Q. I am having the hardest time getting over my son's father. We split up over 3 years ago and he has come back to me after his ex did what he did to me. Now it's been a little over 1 year ago he came back in my life and it's been up and down and now ...
A. 8 October 2005: Throw the bum out! If he won't even spend time with his son, you both would be better off without him. And get professional counseling for yourself. You don't have to hate the man. The opposite of Love is not Hate: it is indifference. I think you ... (read in full...)
Our four years together have been full of ups and downs. Now I'm not sure I should move in with him...
Q. I am in a very confusing situation. I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. Him and I have had our share of ups and downs. Right now, I'm not sure if I should continue this relationship. Here is where the story begins... Til this day, I b...
A. 8 October 2005: Girl, how blind can you be? He has been and is using you as a convenient pillow. He does not love you. You were not his first girl, and he is never going to be faithful. He is french Canadian. He has been raised to dispise English people, and being ... (read in full...)
My husband's affair with a much older woman has been going on for 4 years!
Q. I'm 23, my husband is 25. I found out he was having an affair with a 63-year-old woman who lives down the road with us after a friend who worked at a hotel told me he'd seen my husband kissing an old woman in the restaurant. I feel disgusted ...
A. 7 October 2005: See a marriage counselor, so that you can get help in deciding how to confront your husband with this new information. Have you confirmed the affair? You didn't say what your source was for the details. Assuming that you did, you either have to work ... (read in full...)
He told me he wasn't friends with his ex. Then I found out they'd been emailing back and forth!
Q. Ok, I need to know if I'm overreacting or being just a normal woman on this. I've been dating someone for 7 months, but we were seeing each other for a 1 1/2 years before that. He told me how his ex cheated on him and I'm only his second girlfrie...
A. 7 October 2005: Tell him that no relationship can stand on lies, and he is lying to you. You don't deserve that, and unless you are high school kids, it is rediculous for him to be trying to make you the " bad guy " in all this to his past love. He obviously is ... (read in full...)
He's said he's not sure he loves me any more. What do I do?
Q. I have 3 kids and recently my told me he's not sure he wants to be with me or not. Also he's not sure if he loves me or not. Please help me understand why or what I should do. I love him so much. I don't want to lose him. Thank you for some hel...
A. 7 October 2005: We can't possibly advise you on what to do, because you have not told us anything to give us a clue why he is now having a problem loving you. After three children, you might think that he would have figured it out before now. Have you stopped ... (read in full...)
Was she telling the truth about no longer enjoying sex?
Q. Hello, I have been in a relationship with my partner for nearly 2 years. We have overcome a lot to get to where we are today, but as of late we have been arguing about everything and anything and last night during a heated row my partner said to me ...
A. 7 October 2005: I suspect that if you get a new job, all these problems will go away. Learn to hold your tongue in the meanwhile, as words to hurt. You have found that out, and I hope she has too. Men's sexuality is all tied up with being successfully employed. ... (read in full...)
Want to do a threesome with another girl. Good idea or not?
Q. I had brought the idea of having a threesome to my boyfriend. I have been with girls before and it doesn't bother me. He said that it could be fun and asked if I wanted him to join or stay out of it. I told him to join. We have spoke to the other ...
A. 7 October 2005: Be very careful what you wish for: you may just get it. Many relationships do not survive extra sexual partners, no matter the format. It does not sound like you have really discussed this with your bf, or the girl. Take it slow, and talk to them ... (read in full...)
Why can't my folks just accept that I love another man?
Q. I'm in a relationship with a man with whom i want to spend the rest of my life with , and he feels the exact same way. If society didn't have such a negative view of homosexuality i would walk down the street holding his hand and declairing my love ...
A. 7 October 2005: If you set impossible goals, you will live a life of disappointment. You are not going to get your parent's approval. And about telling them you are gay, Please: unless your parents and relatives are blind, deaf, and dumb, they already know you are ... (read in full...)
When I want sex, I want it immediately!
Q. I am a woman that likes to have sex with her husband about 1-3 times a day and sometimes I don't even want to have sex on certain days, but when I want sex, I would like to have sex right then. But he wants to wait a few hours sometimes. What should ...
A. 7 October 2005: About all I agree with Bev about is that you need to learn some self control, and stop getting mad. It does you absolutely no good to get mad. It elevates your blood pressure, secrets more acid into your stomach, causes tension headaches, and puts ... (read in full...)
When we met, we told each other all about our pasts. It turns out he didn't tell me even half of his!
Q. Hello agony aunts, I have a problem. I can't deal with my boyfriend's past. Well, we've been together for 3 years and it's been a happy 3 years. I was a virgin when I met him. He wasn't which wasn't an issue in the beginning. Before we had sex we a...
A. 6 October 2005: Your bf is not responsible for your self esteem issues. You are. Get professional help. He is responsible for the child you are carrying. I don't really see how this relationship is going to grow, considering your ' self esteem ' issues, so unless ... (read in full...)
It seems like he's interested... but he also has a girlfriend.
Q. Hi A while ago I noticed that a guy at work seemed to be flirting with me a lot. I have lost weight recently and I am starting to feel much better about my appearance but my confidence is still very low. I started to talk to him more and we have a l...
A. 6 October 2005: Leae the guy alone, Sarah. He drinks too much, and he has another woman. If he wants to start seeing you, he will ask. Men flirt to compliment women, and to practice their seduction techniques. Don't read too much into flirting, especially at work, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend found out about my sexual past and now she thinks I'm a "whore"!
Q. I am a 27 yr old male and my girlfriend is 21. We have been together for 8 months. I have been with 35 partners and she has been with 6. We continue to have problems with the fact that I have been with more people than her. I always reassure...
A. 6 October 2005: And you want to stay with this woman? Why? Niether of you are virgins, which is not exactly an unusual occurrence these days. YOu both have had multiple partners. Who is she to call you a whore? And why would you stand for it one minute? Move on, ... (read in full...)
Stay with my very possessive guy? Or try to have a go with the new man who keeps SMSing?
Q. I'm 21 year old, going out with this guy I lost my virginity to in 2002. I love the guy but he is too busy to spend time with me let alone to call me. I've tried telling him to let go but he just become too possessive and tells me our contract will ...
A. 6 October 2005: I would be much more direct than Bev recommends above. Call the police a file a criminal complaint against this nut case. YOu want in on file in case he does do something more than mere words. And then talk to a solicitor, or lawyer, if you are in ... (read in full...)
My wife recognises that her sex drive is very low, but she thinks of sex as being "of no value"!
Q. Hi I have been married for seven years and have two children. My wife recently told me that she has always had very little sex drive which she has tried her best to hide but now the problem is getting worse and fears that very soon we might not have...
A. 5 October 2005: NO this is not a natural problem ! She needs help now, or she is going to ruin your marriage. don't let her go on this way for another minute. Get her to a psychiatrist, now. ... (read in full...)
I discovered my boyfriend's porn and he didn't do much to reassure me...
Q. I recently found porn magazines in my boyfriends room and I am now really insecure. I feel as if I am not good enough for him and I have spoke to him about it but he doesn't seem particularlly bothered. All he has said is that I am as good as the ...
A. 5 October 2005: Have you considered looking at the magazines with him, and discussing the merits of each woman pictured? Ask him why he likes one, or one more than another, etc.? You might get an education into how men think about women in general, and how your bf ... (read in full...)
I've been reduced to sneaking around to find out if my partner is cheating...
Q. I suspected my partner was cheating on me earlier in the year. What happened recently though was the person I thought he was cheating with told me he had been cheating - but with someone else. Anyway, he has (predictably) denied this. He knows da...
A. 5 October 2005: The only thing worse than a cheater, is someone who invades a person's privacy to cath him at it. If your relationship has deterriorated this much, then Walk now. Or get professional counseling for both of you. I can't believe you think it is okay ... (read in full...)
I'm late... but I can't be pregnant? Can I?
Q. Please help! My period is over a week late and I'm starting to think I maybe pregnant. This is very unlike me, I am usually quite regular and, if anything, I come on early. I thought I would come on as normal last week, as I was moody, bloated and ...
A. 5 October 2005: Yes you can. It may be only a small chance, but there is a chance. See your doctor now. ... (read in full...)
We're no longer doctor and patient... so would it be OK?
Q. I would like advice about a tricky situation ! I am a professional writer and actor in my early thirties , and started to see a doctor specialist of the same age after having glandular fever. From the beginning we found it easy to talk , a...
A. 5 October 2005: Wait until his unhappy marriage is an unhappy divorce. Then, if you still want to start something with him, go ahead. But not before. And, you can't be a patient of his again, if you do. ... (read in full...)
I seem to fancy just about every guy!
Q. I am feeling so lonely! I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years and it is beginning to drive me mad! What's worse is that I can't help but fancy almost every guy I meet. It is awful, as it is always in small phases but it is so distracting) ...
A. 5 October 2005: What is wrong with walking up to a guy, introducing yourself( Hi. My name is _______) tell him you would like to get to know him, and is there someplace you both could go where you could talk and get to know each other ? The worse he can respond is ... (read in full...)
Girls approach me like a father-figure, not like a boyfriend!
Q. Hi I am young and handsome and well-educated but I can only talk and be friends with girls! I think they want me only for thier emotional offers. We get friendly and we become really intimate. They consult with me like a father(!) but as for sex t...
A. 5 October 2005: There are a ton of books available about how to seduce women. Read them. Then figure out what you are doing wrong, and change your approach. Good Luck. ... (read in full...)
I was a bit nervous when we met, and told him a stupid fib!
Q. This sounds a bit pathetic - but I just need a little advice. I am gay and met this boy a month ago and we have really hit it off. I am quite shy and nervous and on our first date I stupidly I told him I was from Manchester when in fact I am from N...
A. 5 October 2005: What tangles web do we conceive when first we deem to deceived... Stop! Its bad enough to listen to women obsess over lying to boyfriends, but to listen to guys doing this too, is too much. Tell him the truth. If he gets mad, apologize. If that is ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend just on the rebound from her ex?
Q. I have been seeing my gf for 4 mths. I didn't know for a few weeks at the start she was with her ex for 14 years and had been single for 3 months before we met. He cheated on her and I'm worried I'm just a rebound relationship even though she was ...
A. 5 October 2005: Yes. Drop her like a bad penny. You don't need someone who always lies, and you can't trust. Forget about her dancing. That is just the tip of the iceberg of her problems. If her family loves you,look for a sister who still has all her marbles to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's joining the Army. Should I accept his proposal of marriage?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for the past 6 months. In January (3 months time) he's planning to join the army and will be away for months at a time. Recently he asked me to marry him, and I'm not sure if it's what I want to do. My friends ...
A. 5 October 2005: 6 months is not long enough to get to know someone well enough to decide to marry them. Yes, there are exceptions. There is an old rule to follow: When in doubt, DON'T ! Don't get married. He will go through some changes in basic training, and will ... (read in full...)
My best friend is monopolising my time. I just want to have my own life, too...
Q. I have an excellent friendship with my best mate; however she has issues with being insecure and is very demanding of my time. She rings and texts me constantly when I'm at work and at home. I'm flattered that she wants my advice and wants to turn ...
A. 5 October 2005: Tell her, no, I am not going to be there for you ever again. and then end it. She is insecure and looking to live life through someone else. You are the latest. Stop the game. You don't have to play it, and you don't owe her an explanation. She has ... (read in full...)
After my husband's affair, and dealing with my own problems, I'm fed up with my marriage and my kids!
Q. I am married with three kids. I have been married for 15yrs now. I'm 32, yes just 32. I got my parents to give me permission to marry. We have had a hard life with finding ends meet but we have and still are putting up with it. The thing is 2 1/2...
A. 5 October 2005: See a grief counselor. The local mental health service can make a referral for you. That counselor may have you get a medical check up, to rule out organic problems, and may even refer you to a psychiatrist. But get help. You seem to be shutting out ... (read in full...)
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