I'm afraid that our relationship won't last, because of the distance between us...
Q. My Boyfriend and I have been together three years on and off. One year ago, I decided to travel to the UK to work. Initially he decided he wanted to stay put, but after I left, he decided to follow me over, as he missed me. Thing is, one year lat...
A. 1 September 2005: What kind of job is possibly worth giving up a truly worthwhile and loving relationship? If you love this guy, tell him you miss him, and head on home to him. If you continue to put your jub ahead of him, don't be surprised to see him take a hike. ... (read in full...)
Left my husband to be with my lover... Now my lover has moved on!
Q. I am in need of some advice before I become totally consumed by my problem. I have been married for 18 years, the past five I have been having an affair with a single man. I loved him deeply and still do. Late last year I started to become really f...
A. 1 September 2005: You don't make it clear that you have told your lover that you are leaving your husband. Tell him. And tell him how you still feel about him. Assume nothing. And, apologize for the abuse you heaped on him, and explain, if you can, what the cause of ... (read in full...)
What problems might I encounter with an introduction agency?
Q. I am a lonely 59 year old male, seeking to use a Thai introduction agency to find a wife. Having already had two broken marriages I feel that this is the only way for me to find happiness. I am worried however, that any bride I find, may like me for ...
A. 1 September 2005: Duh! Surprise! Of course any bride you find through such an agency will want you not only for your money, but for that Green card to get into America. I don't recommend using these services. How about finding a dance club, where they always need men ... (read in full...)
What do I do after telling her I like her?
Q. Simple question really. How do I get the girl of my dreams when she only knows my name and knows little else? I told her I liked her but I don't know what to do next. What should I do?...
A. 1 September 2005: How about taking a walk with her. With school starting, offer to walk her home. Talk to her, Let her get to know you and get to know her. If the chemistry is right, she will let you know she is interested. ... (read in full...)
What do I do after telling her I like her?
Q. Simple question really. How do I get the girl of my dreams when she only knows my name and knows little else? I told her I liked her but I don't know what to do next. What should I do?...
A. 1 September 2005: How about taking a walk with her. With school starting, offer to walk her home. Talk to her, Let her get to know you and get to know her. If the chemistry is right, she will let you know she is interested. ... (read in full...)
What can I do to stop thinking about a family friend?
Q. I am 16 and have just realized that I have always had feelings for someone. The problem is he is about 30, married, and a family friend. I know I am not in love with him but I can't stop thinking about him and I am finding it hard to talk to him ...
A. 1 September 2005: You are 16 years old. At your age, it is normal for think about and even fantasize about being with older men. This is the time of your life when you are seriously thinking about what you want in a man, and its very common to be attracted to a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't decide whether to be friends or lovers!
Q. My boyfriend and I have problems now for a while. A couple of weeks ago I got the impression he doesn't want me around and that im in the way. He says I'm causing him to be depressed and that he just wants to be friends. However when w...
A. 1 September 2005: Of course you will miss someone you have been with for two years. But, its obvious he doesn't have any interest in continuing your relationship, and now that you made the mistake of confessing your affair with another guy, its sounds like he is ... (read in full...)
We see each other... we have sex. Now I'd like us to be boyfriend/girlfriend.
Q. I wonder if I can have your opinion please.. I started texting this guy in April - I'd seen him around and so I managed to get hold of his number. At first he was quite slow to reply, but the more we got to know each other the more he replied....
A. 1 September 2005: If he is interested, he will call. Move on. There are other guys out there who will appreciate you and not take so long to make up their minds. Be happy for what it was, and stop thinking it is going to be something more. Obviously, he is not ... (read in full...)
Can't get the thoughts of my affair out of my head!
Q. I still love this married man. After 2 1/2 months after the affair finished. He was my cousin's son. I'm trying to get on with my life, but every day I can't get the thoughts of him out of my head. I'm still with the partner I was with when I had th...
A. 1 September 2005: Of course you think about him. The same problems you have with your current partner that existed when you started the affair continue to exist. But, its over. How about trying to talk to your bf about what is was that your lover did for you that you ... (read in full...)
What do I say to the sexy girl at the library who keeps smiling at me?
Q. I go to my local library nearly every day. I love it, but when I see this girl(17-20 years old) so she's about five years older than me. The thing about her is that she is damn sexy. She gives me this really really weird smile. She has a boyfri...
A. 31 August 2005: So your are 12-15 years old, and you think a 17-20 year old woman would go out with you on a date? You have a lot better dreams than I ever remember having! Smile back, and be happy she even notices you. If you must, talk to her and try to get to ... (read in full...)
Still trying to move on from my ex...even 9 years later...
Q. I have been married for 8 years and been with my husband for 9 years. We have 1 child. When I met my husband over 9 years ago, I was on the rebound from an ex boyfriend who was soon going to be my fiance. To make a long story short, my ex and...
A. 31 August 2005: What makes you think that you can ever forget what you had with an " ex "? Most, if not all people remember the good feelings they have in life, and the people they had them with. Some describe it as still " being in love". That may or may not be ... (read in full...)
I can only feel aroused if I have an emotional or intellectual connection already...
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 25 yrs old guy and have been finding this thing hard to understand for a long time now. I only feel aroused when i am able to connect emotionally / intellectually with a girl. Just watching beautiful girls with less clothes doe...
A. 31 August 2005: NO this is not normal. See a Psychiatrist soon. Really, you have deep seated emotional problems, which you have not disclosed here. You may have surpressed a part of your life, and don't really know why you are acting the way you do. At 25, you ... (read in full...)
My husband can't show any emotion...
Q. My husband, who may I add is a wonderful caring man, is not interested in sex or kissing and has never masturbated or cried in his life. I feel like I am cracking up. I just want to feel something from the man I love, but it is now getting me down ...
A. 31 August 2005: NOthing. Of course the abuse is the reason he is an emotional cripple. He needs professional help, and you need to move on. He is incapable of loving you, or anyone, and it may take years to overcome the scars he has. This is not the kind of thing ... (read in full...)
The online-guy won't give a name, email or picture...
Q. I have a friend who has been chatting online to a guy for about 2 weeks. He won't give his e-mail, name or picture to her. What does everyone think?...
A. 31 August 2005: The same thing you are thinking. This guy is not honest, and obviously does not want to be involved personally with your friend. What his reasons are can be many. Why speculate? Tell your friend to drop him. ... (read in full...)
He missed me and made plans to visit... but then his email got less frequent. What does it mean?
Q. This year I became involved with a guy I met online, who lives in another country. After some months of talking, he came to visit me this past summer for 2 weeks. It was a great visit, however he was a little cautious with me. We had a talk about ...
A. 31 August 2005: Long distance relationships are always chancey. Don't be expecting too much from this guy. He may be married, or he at least sounds like he has found someone else closer to him to see in between visits. Move on with your life, and find some nearer ... (read in full...)
I love travelling and I don't want to feel like I have to ask my partner's "permission" to go!
Q. I have been with my partner for a few years now. We have a great relationship even though we are very different. I have a love of travel and discovering new places. I take 3-4 vacations a year. I am financially independent and my partner and I do...
A. 31 August 2005: Tell him what you have told us. The only way to work this is out is by talking to him. Jump him on his practice of trying to make you feel guilty for leaving him alone. You are not his social director. He can find other people to be with when you ... (read in full...)
After a disagreement, he wanted time to think, but I ended it instead!
Q. I need help ASAP! My boyfriend of 2 months and I had one of our disagreements and told me he needed a couple of days off to think and cool off. I didn't think he needed to think about anything, it wasn't like it was a MAJOR decision he had to think ...
A. 31 August 2005: NO. 2 months is no time to invest in any relationship, and this will not be the last relationship that lasts this short amount of time, and shorter. If he has doubts about dating you, particularly over something you consider trivial, then you have ... (read in full...)
Do I tell him about my finished affair, and risk losing his love?
Q. Hi, I'm a 20 yr old girl. I wrote an anonymous question about an affair I had on my partner of 5 yrs. I'd like to thank the people who answered my question; it gave me a wake up call. The advice was fantastic but now I have another issue! I ha...
A. 31 August 2005: What is past, leave past. Do not tell your bf about it. If the two of you ever talk about sexual experiences( I hope you do before becoming lovers) he should know that you are not a virgin. But he does not need to know who, how many, how many times, ... (read in full...)
We had to stop when we tried intercourse. It just hurt too much!
Q. Me and my boyfriend just tried to have intercourse for the first time tonight. Technically I am still a virgin. He is not. We couldn't. Not for lack of wanting to, but because it hurt so bad I had to make him stop. Now I get a burning sensation when ...
A. 29 August 2005: You might trying being on top, and lowering yourself onto his erection. This will allow you to control the speed, and depth of penetration. It also allows you to say when, and be sure that you are relaxes enough, and moist enough to allow ... (read in full...)
Little sister reminds me of the girl I love...
Q. I'm 17, and a senior in high school. I just got out of a relationship with a girl who is now a freshmen in college. I love her so much, and she is who I am meant to be with. I would give anything to be with her, and her only. But she is not ...
A. 28 August 2005: Keep it in your pants, idiot. Of course the older sister is not interested in dating you seriously. She is older than you by at least a year, and several years older than you emotionally. The younger sister is more your age, but she is too young, as ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend sent photos of her breasts to a guy on the internet. It's over, but I don't know what to say...
Q. My girlfriend is from another country who is poor. At the time we haven't gone out that long, and I found out she sent a picture of her breasts over the internet to a guy that likes her. He no longer can see her since he had to go back to the United ...
A. 28 August 2005: Find another girl. This one uses people, and will use you, too. ... (read in full...)
Falling for a friend. Thing is, I'm married and he's engaged...
Q. Dear cupid, I am 21. I am married and have a one year and 8 months old baby girl, but I think I'm fallin in love with an old friend that used to be in love with me. But now he's planning on getting married. what do I do? confused...
A. 28 August 2005: You obviously got married too young. I don't see one word here about your husband, or the father of the baby. Sounds like you need to work on that relationship. If you broke up with the other guy, there was a reason for it. Work on your marriage, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she'll quit her job that sometimes involves sex. I want to believe her...
Q. My girlfriend is from The Philippines where she works at a bar in Japan to send money home to her family and to her daughter. At this bar guys walk in and pay drinks for the girls. The girls sit with the guy and talks with him. Some get sexual and ...
A. 28 August 2005: You are already working with considerable differences just from being from two different countries and cultures. Now, she is a hooker, too? And you expect her to be faithful to you once you are married? Get serious. I don't think so. Yes, she has a ... (read in full...)
She "missed" her ex and was glad to hear from him, but should I be concerned about it?
Q. My girlfriend received a call the other day from a guy who she used to go out with for like a year. He was sent off to Iraq and when he got back, he broke up with her. She was devastated because she waited on him for like 6 months. After receivin...
A. 28 August 2005: Either you trust her or you don't. Put the shoes on your own feet. How would you react if you took the courage to tell your gf about a past gf calling you, and told her you were over the other girl and wanted only her, but she questioned your ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend really just "best friends" with this other woman..?
Q. I really need an honest 3rd party opinion. My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other a little over a year. For most of that time we have been on and off again, mostly because I was afraid of commitment. The past couple of months we have gott...
A. 28 August 2005: Why the fighting? Its obvious you can't trust Jane, so end it. Why are you making yourself miserable? YOu don't trust her when she tells you she is just friends with Renae, and wants to be with you. So, if you don't trust her, don't date her. End ... (read in full...)
A mystery woman is sending texts to my husband!
Q. My husband left his mobile at home while at work and a text message came through. I opened it in case it was urgent and found that it was someone asking him to call back. On looking at his other messages I found four more from the same number, ...
A. 26 August 2005: Ask him about the calls. Then sit down with him and talk about your marriage and your sex life. In detail. No judgments and no recriminations. Men don't stray unless they are unhappy at home. It may be sex, or something else. You tell us. Hookers I ... (read in full...)
How do I approach my kids on the issue of my new "friend" sleeping over?
Q. When is it appropriate for the person I've been seeing to spend the night? We've been seeing each other for 2 months. But here's the catch, I have two children, my son is 15 and my daughter is 9. My "friend" has spent lots of time with them and ...
A. 26 August 2005: Talk to them first, Its their home, too, and they should at least be warned before another person is invited in. They are kids, and have no veto power, but liking someone you are dating and living with him are two different things. They have a ... (read in full...)
I'm so paranoid that the man of my dreams is going to cheat! How do I stop myself worrying?
Q. I'm 24 years old and have met the man of my dreams! I know for sure he's the one because I feel it with every inch of my being. The problem is I feel jealous of his time spent with other people. I feel I cant trust him and am afraid he will che...
A. 26 August 2005: Work on your self esteem. Get counseling. Jealousy is merely a reflection of your personal insecurity, and self doubt. What are you so unsure about yourself? why do you think that anyone else can take away your bf? What happened in your life that ... (read in full...)
Should I marry the man who's my best friend, or the take my chance with the man I was made for?
Q. I am a woman in my mid 20's. I am engaged, and I am expecting to get married to my fiance in a couple of months. This is my problem: A few years ago, just before I started going out with my fiance (who was my friend then), I met this guy. ...
A. 26 August 2005: If you have any doubts about a marriage, don't marry. As bad as it is to call off a wedding, its worst to end a marriage that should not have taken place. I don't get the feeling that A feels the same way about you that you say you do about him. You ... (read in full...)
Being with my boyfriend is more like being with a mate...
Q. I have been living with my boyfriend for three years and been with him for three and a half. Whilst he has never been very tactile or passionate, the respect and admiration I feel for him has always enabled me to appreciate him for other reasons. ...
A. 26 August 2005: Whatever you had with the bf, is dead. Move on. He has a new life with his job elsewhere, and obviously has a place to live. Tell him its over, and not to come back to you. If you respect him, you will let him go. He obviously has no passion for ... (read in full...)
She's too proud to accept help and she's ended up living in a hotel!
Q. I am in love with a woman that is really making me upset right now. Her Daughter had a house in her name and decided to come home one day and tell her mother and 5 other siblings that the house was on the market and then a month later, they have 30 ...
A. 26 August 2005: She is obviously not making mature decisions, and you have now become part of the enemy in her eyes. Let her go. Stay away from her. find a place for yourself, and get on with your life. You can't fix her problems, and take care of yourself, too. ... (read in full...)
Being with my old boyfriend makes me feel "old", but his cousin makes me feel like I'm in high school again!
Q. I'm 24 years old, and have a daughter of 4 years. I've been in a secure relationship for the past 3 years. I love my boyfriend(*Peter), we live together and my daughter knows him as her father. We also have dogs, so needless to say, I don't want to ...
A. 26 August 2005: Sorry you can't have both, and you may end up with neither. Grow up. What you did with Jack is inexcusable. In one act, you broke a trust with your bf, and with your best gf! If you want a life with Peter, than go to work on fixing what is broke. If ... (read in full...)
Oral sex with a condom? How do I do it?
Q. I'm 18 and I've recently started dating an older guy (27) after breaking up with my boyfriend, John*. Me and John had a great sexual relationship and I felt really comfortable with him. I was sexually abused when I was younger and he made me feel ...
A. 26 August 2005: why don't you just drop the guy with the herpes? Why are you complicating an already complicated situation? Find someone who isn't dragging STD's into your relationship. You don't need herpes, certainly not at your age. Why chance it? ... (read in full...)
I'm so shy that I have trouble talking with my girlfriend...
Q. I have been dating a girl for about three months and I think I'm in love with her, but I doubt she feels the same. I'm usually very shy and even after three months I still get really nervous around her and don't know what to say. I'm afraid I'll ...
A. 26 August 2005: What does she like to talk about? Talk to her about those subjects. Invest your time in being interested in her. Then you find talking to her possible, and much easier than it is now. If you think you are going to make it through life without having ... (read in full...)
No longer care for my husband, but feel tied down by my joint finances...
Q. I don't really have any feelings towards my husband anymore. We have been married 6 and half years, and together for 8. He is a professional, who works long hours, and have a daughter who does not keep well. I felt he did not support me initally ...
A. 26 August 2005: Get to a marriage counselor. go alone, if he won't go with you. He is obviously not showing you any respect, and that kills romance faster than any other thing a person can do to a partner. When did this happen, and what was the cause? I am sure you ... (read in full...)
It takes me ages to work up to asking a girl out, and then it's usually too late!
Q. I am 22 years old. Have just finished uni and waiting to get into the army. I am confident in most aspects of my life but when it comes to girls I am a no hoper. I normally fall for girls after I have already made friends with them, by which time ...
A. 26 August 2005: Don't focus on one girl at a time. Meet and date lots of girls. Sometimes when you show a girl that you are interested in her, she takes you for granted, and looks for a new challenge. At your age, you shouldn't expect women to be looking for Mr. ... (read in full...)
Someone please tell me how to read the right signals!
Q. I am completely unable to read signals. I am blind to any signals a girl gives whether she likes me or not. I keep falling for girls who are just trying to be friendly, and keep missing those who actually like me. I just can't see it. Please ...
A. 26 August 2005: Talk to them. Don't rely on your obviously unreliable system of reading signals. Girls are not machines. YOu can't read them like you read a computer. Talk to girls with whom you have interests in common. Let them find out about you, and you take ... (read in full...)
Just can't get my ex-fiancee off my mind...
Q. Me and my fiancee were together for 3 years, but 5 months ago she split up with me and I still can't stop thinking about her all the time. It is driving me insane and I am at my wits' end. I still see her around but she won't even talk to me. All ...
A. 25 August 2005: Get over it. If you can't seem to do that alone, get some mental health counseling. If you don't know why she left you, your counselor will help you understand. Stay away from her. If she ever regrets her decision, she will contact you. Then it will ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's one-night-stand is making me doubt whether I love him...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, but had a one night stand 3 days ago (the first and only). I am doubting whether I love my partner now, in fact I know I don't. I know that the one nighter will always be just that. But I don't know what to ...
A. 25 August 2005: there are obviously serious problems with your relationship with your bf if you even considered a one night stand, much less went through with it. Put the breaks on, until you understand what is wrong, and why you chose to do what you did. You ... (read in full...)
Why does he need to be such a good friend to his ex-girlfriend?
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 4 months. Previous to this he was seeing his ex for 5 years, she was married. They split up about 2 months before we met. My concern is that they are still really good friends, they talk on the phone regularl...
A. 25 August 2005: NO. you have been a convenient doormat for him to wipe his feet on for the past 6 months. He is obviously waiting for his ex's divorce to go through so that he can try to reestablish a relationship with her. Throw him out! Stop being used by him. ... (read in full...)
Should I sacrifice the comfort of our longtime relationship?
Q. I am a 21 year old female, and I have been with my boyfriend on and off for the past 5 years. We first dated when we were 16, broke up and got back together a couple of years later. In the time that we were not together neither one of us dated or...
A. 25 August 2005: Its a mistake. Dorp this guy like the bad penny he is. He doesn't deserve you. any guy who would treat you so badly as to consider sex a boring duty, rather than fun he can have with an adult woman is missing a few screws and nuts. Move on and find ... (read in full...)
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