After work, we hung out and really connected... or so I thought...
Q. I work in the salon of a store and this guy that I hung out with twice works in the clothing part of the store. We hung out one night and we made out and he told me I was so gorgeous, and all this stuff how he wanted me so bad. We hung out until ...
A. 14 October 2005: He's more likely a dumb guy who doesn't know what he wants, and doesn't know what to do next. Talk to him. If you enjoyed the evening, tell him and thank him. Let him know you are interested in being more than a one night stand. That may break loose ... (read in full...)
Can I reform my abusive and violent guy?
Q. I've been dating a man for 1 and a half. I love him dearly and he claims to do the same. However he is very abusive mentally and sometimes physically. I recently called the police and he is currently in jail for asulting me. He took no accou...
A. 14 October 2005: No, you can't. He doesn't respect you, or anyone, really. He is totally wrapped up in himself, and that is why he can be abusive and violent to someone he should be loving instead. Follow through with the criminal prosecution, and don't ever see him ... (read in full...)
What's winking about?
Q. What does winking mean? I got winked at by a really cute guy and I kind of liked him back, but then I found out the next day he was married!! Another guy I know is married and he winks at me all the time, sometimes slowly and when no one else is ...
A. 14 October 2005: Winking can mean alot of things, from merely " Hi!", to " See you later !", or " this is your cue ". If you want to know what the men mean when they wink at you, ask them. At the very least, a wink means you have caught his " eye" or visual ... (read in full...)
Is the great sex worth her controlling behaviour?
Q. I'm 27 years old. I have just started a new relationship with a 37 year old women. At first I thought she was great, but now I am finding her very dominating towards me. She dosen't feel comfortable with any type of public affection (holding hands), ...
A. 14 October 2005: Dump her.Great lovers are created by you. You will find someone who enjoys your touching side, and will not be so controlling. And, then you can train her to pleasure you, while she teaches you to pleasure her. This may come as a surprise, but ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend introduce me to his family? It's been three years!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years and we have lived together for 2 years. I met him through work (I now work elsewhere) and trained him in his job. He is 6 years younger than me (I am 35) and the physical side of relationship is fine, ...
A. 14 October 2005: You are not confused. YOu just won't recognize and act on what you know is the truth. He does not love you, and does not respect you, so he has not introduced you to his family. He is keeping his " options " open. Drop him, and find a guy who will ... (read in full...)
Do I stay and marry my partner simply because I'm pregnant and because we get along...?
Q. I am a 28 year old female who has been in a relationship for about 4 1/2 years. My fiance and I have had our problems and were trying to work through them. We started planning our wedding when - oops - I became pregnant. Now the issue is even ...
A. 14 October 2005: NO, compatibility is not enough. You deserve more. have the baby, but don't marry him. Wait until several months after the baby is born before making any final decisions, as this is a very stressful time for both of you. You are entitled to the sex ... (read in full...)
My partner works hard, but he's emotionally distant to me and our kids!
Q. Dr. Cupid, I desperately need your help. The father of my children( ages 21 mo. and 4) Is the nicest most considerate person you have ever met. The problem is just that, The nicest YOU have ever met. He is to busy pleasing others that forgets ...
A. 14 October 2005: I don't know where you are from, or what country you are living in, but this guy is a jerk anywhere. Why you would have two children with him when you knew what he was like before the first was born baffles me. Get him out of your life. He doesn't ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong because I enjoy my own company?
Q. Is there something wrong for a guy if he doesn't want reassurance from others, not even girls? I end up being to much on my own and people find this disrespectful and offensive. I don't think that i have to prove anything to anyone and i am at peace ...
A. 14 October 2005: What do you do with your time? If you are involved in work, research, and a mulitude of interests, then I think you are just fine. People will seek you out. You don't have to seek them, for any reason. ON the other hand, your socialization skills ... (read in full...)
I cheated, and my boyfriend can't handle it. What do I do?
Q. I'm 17 years old and have been with my boyfriend for One year and three months about six months into the relationship I cheated on him with a male friend of mine. About a month later I told him and he still hasn't got over it and is becoming more ...
A. 14 October 2005: You have apologized I suspect, but you should never have said anything to him to begin with. The first rule of Cheating is " Don't rub your SO's nose in it. You know why you cheated. If you cannot be happy with your SO, then leave him. You are far ... (read in full...)
After he told me his was visiting a mate, I discovered he's going out with someone else...
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 4 months and it has all been going really well. We have a great time together and get on like a house on fire. The problem is we met online and haven't really got to the stage where we are exactly exclusive ...
A. 14 October 2005: He is not yet sure he wants to date you exclusively, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings, while he meets other women. You have no business reading his mail. Period. If you do anything that lets him know that you are prying into his business, it ... (read in full...)
What do his looks and invitations mean? Is he interested in me?
Q. I'm 18 years old and I'm curious about the "signals" guys make. I live in a mixed-sex boarding house, next to a guy I have a huge crush on. We greet each other every time we bump into each other, and have small talk when we get the chance. By t...
A. 14 October 2005: He may just have a tic. How should we be able to tell? Why don't you just ask him out for a drink, coffee, or lunch, or something. If he is interested in you, he will say yes. If not, he will say no, thank you. He thought you liked him and were ... (read in full...)
We started and ended it before my separation. Now he won't admit to anything stronger than friendship!
Q. Dear cupid, a couple of yrs ago, I began working with someone who I was attracted to, but we resisted doing anything for a year as our siuations were very complicated, he lives with the mother of his two children and claims to only be there because ...
A. 14 October 2005: Move on. Seriously, you have to admire a man who is committed to his children even when his relationship with their mother is dead. He is being responsible. He's the kind of guy you wish you met before he had his two children. If you did, you both ... (read in full...)
I'm second-class in my own family and it's ruined my self-esteem...
Q. Hello agony aunts, I've got a problem that has always been there but not bothered me until now. Well my parents have always favoured my brothers over me and over time it became second nature that I would take a backseat. It's only small thing...
A. 14 October 2005: I don't see the connection. Because your parents are jerks, and don't value you, you hate yourself? Stop trying to please them. Get away from home. Get away from them. This kind of emotional abuse is common, although not for the same reasons you ... (read in full...)
Women want me to read their signals, and I'm hopeless at it!
Q. I'll get right to my problem - I can't for the life of me figure out how to tell when a girl is interested, let alone figure out what I should do when she is. My last relationship was quite weird as the girl basically initiated it (I was giving...
A. 13 October 2005: If you can't read sign, then speak directly to girls. Ask them out. The worst they can say is " No ". Most women are intrigued by men who speak directly to them. If you see an attractive woman, introduce yourself, and tell her you admire how she ... (read in full...)
My husband trusts me not to play around... so why does that bother me?
Q. I told my husband that my GED teacher said if we are in his area to let him know and he would come have a drink with us. (my husband plays in a band). My husband made a comment like "why would it be with me too?" I said it is the proper thing to ...
A. 13 October 2005: Does a man in your life have to constantly prove your desireability for you to be happy? Sounds like it ! Why can't you just accept the love a grown up man, who loves you enough to trust you, and knows, or thinks he knows that you love him. While ... (read in full...)
Afraid to ruin the friendship we have, I still want to tell her I'm interested...
Q. Dear Cupid Hi. My name is Scott, I am 26 years old, and live in Ontario Canada. I have a problem, and have been trying to get as much advice as possible, before making a decision. I have been friends with this girl I work with for about 5 or 6 mon...
A. 13 October 2005: YOu have be given good advice. Give her time. Use the time to really get to know her. Its one thing to be a good listener to someone ending another relationship, and quite different to change the focus of conversation to doing things together. Work ... (read in full...)
How can other people stay friends with their exes? Mine just looks uncomfortable...
Q. My ex-boyfriend dumped me a while ago with tears, saying this might be a big mistake, etc. He was honestly such a wonderful boyfriend and I was so in love with him...even though we were young I really thought I had found something real. The farther ...
A. 13 October 2005: Ignor him. No one can guess what he's thinking about. You could ask him, but you have no guarantee that he will talk to you,now. You can't make someone like you, or re-like you, if he doesn't want to do so. ... (read in full...)
I'm not really sure I want to marry my fiancee. I feel like my ardour has cooled...
Q. Should I break it off with my fiancee? My fiancee and I have been dating for nearly 2 years, and have been engaged for about 5 months. For the longest time I was completely infatuated with her. Could not see my life without her. But for the la...
A. 13 October 2005: First, go looking for a new job. You can't decide anything until you get past the job related stress. Men's careers and money matters are very tightly involved in how they feel and act sexually. Don't expect to feel very passionate towards anyone ... (read in full...)
I'm good-looking, so why are only the unattractive guys hitting on me?
Q. Lately I have noticed that whenever I venture to a club or bar the only males who seem to be attracted to me or hit on me are unnatractive. I am a good-looking girl and apparently too nice. How do I attract the man for me, instead of Herman Munster?...
A. 13 October 2005: If you are so shallow that you are only interested in the pretty men, go and ask them out. But don't be surprised if they are not interested. They either have girlfriends already, or may be gay, and have a boyfriend they live with who would be ... (read in full...)
We broke off the relationship 2 years ago, and my boyfriend is worried isn't going to go bad again...
Q. Two years ago, my boyfriend and I were engaged and because we were young and needed to discuss important topics, we broke it off. Should I be patient if my boyfriend is not ready to get commit again because he is terrified that it will not work out ...
A. 13 October 2005: When in doubt, don't. If he has doubts, he should not commit, until they are resolved. Same for you. You will both survive this period if you are really meant for each other. Give yourselves time to grow up and gain a better perspective on ... (read in full...)
My ex-teacher shares his romantic life with me, and I can't stand it!
Q. I'm madly in love with my ex teacher and it's killing me. Recently he got married and he emailed me telling me all about it, when I just don't want to hear it! He says we can't be friends and yet he tells me his life story and I do the same. Th...
A. 13 October 2005: Don't tell him you love him. At 15 you probably still don't really understand what love means. And, he's a married man. You owe his wife that respect. Tell him to cool the contacts with you. You can remain friends, but there should be no attempt on ... (read in full...)
My teenage son is discussing marriage with a woman of 44!
Q. I found out recently that my 16-year-old son is dating a 44-year-old woman. I worry about him - the age gap is 28 years - and I fear he will have a lot of problems. He's talking about marrying her too - and she wants to marry him too! What ...
A. 13 October 2005: I am from the colonies, as you British like to remind us Americans, so I am not aware of the laws in England. Is he even old enough to marry without your consent? Talk to a Solicitor and get his advice on what you can do. This woman is close to ... (read in full...)
She had sex once with someone in her past, and I just can't move past that thought,,,
Q. I've been dating this girl for over 3 months now. We are 15 years apart. (we're of legal age--I'm older) What started off as just a "for fun" thing turned into an all out love extravaganza, and I do love her dearly. We do everything together...
A. 13 October 2005: Why is that bigots never guess that the rest of you have you spotted miles away? Of course she assumed you hated her. And, because you are a bigot, you do. You can't " forgive her" for having slept with a black man. Leave her alone. Grow up. She ... (read in full...)
A stray text led me to find out that he's been calling 2 other women...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We live together, and everything has been great until about a month ago, when I realized we hadn't made love for almost 2 months. I asked him why, and he said we have different schedules. ...
A. 13 October 2005: No. You had no business going through his personal affairs. He has ended the relationship with you at least 2 months ago, and just doesn't know how to tell you its over, without hurting you. Stop calling him, stop seeing him. Be polite if you meet, ... (read in full...)
The closer I get to wanting to settle down with her, the further she's pulling away!
Q. I have been dating a girl for 7 yrs now. The relationship has everything that a great relationship should have(Common interests, same value in life, great sex). Unfortunately I am vastly more experienced than her in realtionships. I was her first ...
A. 13 October 2005: Respect her wishes. Something is not right for her, and she is ending the relationship now. Leave. Move on and find someone else. She does not owe you anything for being her companion for the past 7 years. Chalk it up to experience, and find another ... (read in full...)
I really want to believe all the wonderful things he says about me and us...
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 months almost, and we are very much in love. But recently he has said things like I love you and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, and that he wants to get married and start a family, and ...
A. 13 October 2005: He probably thinks he really feels this way about you, but neither of you know each other long enough to be sure of your feelings. Some people do fall in love fairly quickly, and if their mate happens to learn to love them, too, a very fine match ... (read in full...)
We met, we clicked, we talked, we cuddled. Then I ran into him a few days later and... nothing!
Q. Hey there ^_^ Please please please please help me out with this problem if you can as I have been boring my flatmates with this for a looong time. OK, I think I know what a lot of you will say but I'm going to tell you guys anyway. Right....
A. 10 October 2005: If he doesn't drink, smoke, etc. he is a very serious young man, who has one objective, which is to complete his degree. He is probably strongly motivated by his responsibilities to his family, who are helping with his expenses. He is not willing to ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend still hung up on his ex?
Q. Hey. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 months, but we were "seeing" each other for almost 3 months before that. One of the reasons for us not getting together before we did was because he had recently split with his last girlfriend- they'd ...
A. 10 October 2005: Why not simply ask him, after a particularly satisfying love making session, if he loves you? If he hesitates, ask him if he loves the things you are doing to him? An old adage claims that women need love to enjoy sex, while men need sex to enjoy ... (read in full...)
A woman at my husband's work is coming between us!
Q. This is hard to talk about because I don't even know myself. But me and my husband been together for 15 years and we’ve had our ups and down, but 2 weeks ago he said to me he’s not sure if he loves me or not, or if he just here for with the kids. I...
A. 10 October 2005: Stay with the counseling, and tell the counselor, when you see him/her alone, about what is currently causing you stress with your husband. He has a lot of self image problems, and maybe some problems with his career. He obviously loves you, or he ... (read in full...)
He told me so many sweet things about our future, but now he avoids me
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 8 months. I thought everything was going good until he dumped me. He told me so many things like marrying me and having kids with me... after a while, I believed him. It was less heartbreaking when he said he ...
A. 10 October 2005: School age people go through all kinds of changes, and getting hurt feelings is the least of it. Move on. You will not know what his problem is, probably, because he does not know what his problem is. Give him time, and then go back and ask him what ... (read in full...)
I'm happy with my life, but my parents think I should be looking to get married!
Q. HELLO. I'm 22, hard working and self employed, ie I'm doing well. I am interested to find a partner, but I feel that I'm not ready, in fact, I'm not interested. I'm happy with the way that I am, single. My parents are making me feel as though I...
A. 10 October 2005: Are you still living at home? Maybe they are suggesting that you move out and get your own place, so they can finally be alone together ! There is nothing wrong with you. Many people are not ready for marriage, or even a serious relationship until ... (read in full...)
My mind's not made up about what I want in my life. That includes my wonderful, caring boyfriend!
Q. I'm 18 and I've been dating a 23 yo guy for 5 mths (1st bf). He's wonderful, trustworthy, caring, loving, committed, willing to do anything for me and wants to marry me after we graduate. I dated him because after 6 wks of knowing him, it got to t...
A. 9 October 2005: Your brain is telling you that you are too young, and you are not ready for a lifetime commitment. Give yourself some time to meet other men, date them, and learn more about yourself. As your ability to understand your self grows, your judgment ... (read in full...)
If I could get my son's father back with me, things would be the way they're supposed to be...
Q. What is it when you love somebody and they don't love you back? After being with my son's father we broke up and still I want him so badly and love him with everything inside of me, and I don't know exactly why. He did me wrong by walking out on u...
A. 9 October 2005: Please get professional help. YOu may have a common mental disorder that is treatable. You are all involved in " me ", and I didn't hear a word from you here about what the ex. wants. Or what would be best for the child. You are not the architect of ... (read in full...)
My man just tells me that "we're more than sex" and he isn't interested anymore. But I am!
Q. Hello, I’m desperately worried that I will end up cheating on my man. We have been together a little over two years and things seem to be a bit strained between us. We love each other very much and have always done everything together the trouble ...
A. 9 October 2005: Isa he worried aout getting your pregnant? Or is he having problems with his career? Those are a couple of the common reasons men turn off on sex after being active. Talk to him about this, and let him know how much sex means to you. Everyone needs ... (read in full...)
Will any boy ever wait for me to be ready for a sexual relationship?
Q. Hi I am 15. I don't really want sex or anything like that, and I am scared of the next step in a relationship which goes beyond just kissing. I am scared that I will never be able to get into a serious relationship because of this! Everyone says tha...
A. 9 October 2005: I am sure there are lots of 15 year old girls that share your shyness. You are too young to be fooling around, or having sex. What other people do is their business. Don't let them talk you into doing something you don't want to do, or don't feel ... (read in full...)
My wife says she's forgiven me too many times in the past...
Q. Hi all, I am currently going through a seperation with my wife. We just had a daughter together. She left me because we argued a lot and that she felt the trust was no longer there, because of broken promises and stupid lies on my part. So...
A. 9 October 2005: You probably can't. Sometimes, people go too far, and once you cross that boundary, you face the punishment of losing something or someone you love. Back off and give her both space and time. Stick with the reforms and the new you. Make sure you ... (read in full...)
I thought his drinking habits would change when we got together...
Q. I have not seen my boyfriend for 3 days now because he has been in pubs instead of with me. He was in a long relationship before, and when they finished he turned to the pub. I thought it was going to change when we got together but it hasn't. ...
A. 9 October 2005: YOu can't. He is an alcoholic, and that is a disease that requires professional help. Talk to your local al-anon chapter people about how you can " help" as a family member or gf. You may have to be prepared to walk away from this guy to help him. ... (read in full...)
Sex with my new boyfriend can last for hours!
Q. I have recently started sleeping with my current boyfriend. I have have had sex with people before but sex has never lasted more than 10-15 minutes! My new boyfriend can go for hours and finds it hard to finsh before I get to tired - lol! What can I ...
A. 9 October 2005: Talk to him. Tell him you are getting exhausted with the marathon sex sessions, and would like him to climax sooner, if he can. There are a lot of things that can be done to make him cum sooner, but I don't think this is the forum to get into ... (read in full...)
Is it time to dump my boyfriend?
Q. I cant deal with my boyfriend anymore. He always thinks I'm doing something wrong and picks out things wrong with me and won't let me have male friends, which isnt fair. Do you think I should get rid of him? ...
A. 9 October 2005: Yes. No one can abide someone who can't trust them. What he is or has been doing to you is terrible. Drop him like a rotten tomato. He doesn't deserve you. ... (read in full...)
I know we should stay broken up, but can I still talk with him?
Q. Me and my ex just broke up after a year and a half of him lying, cheating, mentally and physically abusing. We still talk on the phone a little and I want to go back with him so bad. But I know I can't. What is the best way for me to let him go and ...
A. 9 October 2005: Don't let the relationship be anything but a conversation on the phone. And, Keep those conversations away from your personal life. ... (read in full...)
Sometimes he acts a bit of an idiot, but I think I like the guy from my drama class...
Q. I have known this guy from my drama class and we have been friends (Not best friends or anything) since we were 10 (14 now) and we walk home together after drama and its great and we get on well. Trouble is, I have started to have uh...feelings fo...
A. 9 October 2005: The next time he asks you about other girls, ask him if he likes you? At least you will make him think about you as more than just company on the walk home. If he has any brains, the question will tell him you like him. If he is as slow as you say, ... (read in full...)
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