After my husband's affair, and dealing with my own problems, I'm fed up with my marriage and my kids!
Q. I am married with three kids. I have been married for 15yrs now. I'm 32, yes just 32. I got my parents to give me permission to marry. We have had a hard life with finding ends meet but we have and still are putting up with it. The thing is 2 1/2...
A. 5 October 2005: See a grief counselor. The local mental health service can make a referral for you. That counselor may have you get a medical check up, to rule out organic problems, and may even refer you to a psychiatrist. But get help. You seem to be shutting out ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is taking out the mistrust from his past relationships on me...
Q. I recently had an argument with my boyfriend because he thought that I was seeing someone else. The reason for this was because of 'so called' text message he found on my phone which to me was totally innocent. He got angry because the text was from ...
A. 5 October 2005: Your boyfriend is insecure and suffers from real , and imaginary self doubts. He expresses this by being jealous, and not trusting anyone. No relationship can last or go forward if there is not trust. Yes, we all risk being hurt if the person we ... (read in full...)
I'm planning to meet my lover for sex, but I don't know why I'm doing it!
Q. I'm with a partner and I was always happy to stay at home and be housewife and mother. Then my life changed. I had a affair which only lasted a while until I finished it all. He was married. Now I don't feel the same anymore, as if i'm a differen...
A. 5 October 2005: Obviously your partner at home is not giving you the attention and love you crave. Is there some reason you just don't end that relationship? Affairs are always tawdry, even today when most people don't care. You just are not going to feel good ... (read in full...)
If we continue to have sex all the time, will it affect his attraction to me in years to come?
Q. Hi I have a boyfriend whom I love so much and he loves me as well. My problem is that whenever I visit his place, we end up having sex. We just can't let go of each other. Won't this affect our love if we go on like this? Will he still be attr...
A. 5 October 2005: Are you asking if sex can get boring? or whether it will always get boring and you only have a finite number of times to have sex before a relationship is over? If you are a boring lover, it can happen. If he is a boring lover, it can happen. But if ... (read in full...)
My man promised that he was going to leave his wife, but he went back to her! Is it me?
Q. I have just broken up with the love of my life, whom I have been with for 2 years. He is married but he promised he would leave, which he has done several times. He always goes back for the children. This time I confronted his wife and he now says...
A. 5 October 2005: You don't necessarily attract liars, just men who are very unhappy, and don't know what they want to do. He is not going to leave his wife soon. She will probably leave him with the kids if she can find another man who will take her. IN the ... (read in full...)
I insisted my girlfriend tell me about her fantasies, but I didn't like what I heard!
Q. My girlfriend and I were having a frank discussion the other night, and I asked her if there was anyone besides me that she fantasized about having sex with. She didn't want to tell me, but I forced the issue because I felt like she was hiding ...
A. 5 October 2005: grow up !!! What does he have that you don't? And if he is such a danger, why is she still going home with you? If you keep up this insecurity routine, she will be the one asking, why am I still going home with you? Get to work on your low self ... (read in full...)
Many ups and many downs in our relationship. Now she tells me she doesn't want "the rollercoaster" any more... (long question)
Q. Dear Friend A long story Need some help with my sanity…….Is my relationship worth saving? 3 years ago I met the woman of my dreams. It was at a company event when my eyes met this woman and an almighty ‘click’ took place. We talked an...
A. 5 October 2005: Get yourself into therapy with a good marriage or relationship counselor. YOu haven't even found out what you did wrong in the first marriage, and you want to know what you did wrong with this next relationship. Take them one at a time. Give the ... (read in full...)
Nobody's really good enough for me!
Q. OK, so you're so gonna hate me for saying this but I'm genuinely in distress. My problem is that I've never had a boyfriend, not because I'm ugly or weird, but quite the opposite. I've never met anyone who I feel is good enough for me. To say I'm ...
A. 5 October 2005: Beauty is really only skin deep. Remember the man who was looking for the perfect wife. He found her years later, but they did not marry. She was looking for the perfect husband. YOu have turned that story around, but you still face the same ... (read in full...)
When I masturbate, I have no problems, but when it comes to sex, I can't get hard...
Q. Hi. I am a gay man recently out and every time I meet a guy and engage in sex I can't get hard. I have no problem masturbating on my own, in fact I love it. Can you help me please?...
A. 4 October 2005: Oviously, there is nothing wrong physically with you. So that leaves the mind. Are you not sure you are gay? Have doubts about having sex with another man? Think it is sinful? You tell us. But, it is clear that you are putting stress on yourself ... (read in full...)
Why can't I move our friendship to a more intimate level? Am I just impatient?
Q. I have been visiting a girl for a couple of weeks now. We aren't an item yet, but I am relatively certain that she does like me. Something is holding her back, though. She works two jobs, so we have very little time to see each other, and any date...
A. 4 October 2005: Date other women. She is either too busy, or playing a game with you, and maybe her sister. If she is interested, and finds you are dating others, she will let you know. sometimes you have to show you are prepared to walk away before they show they ... (read in full...)
Did I go too far in agreeing to a threesome? What if my husband cheats?
Q. I have been in relationship for 6 years now, have 2 children together. I made a mistake and agreed to have a threesome with a stranger (woman) but he never had intercourse with her. That was over 3 months ago. We thought it would spice up our rela...
A. 4 October 2005: Have you considered spicing up your sex life at home? How about doing a strip for him at home some night, music and all? Don't know how it is done? Go to a strip club with a friend and watch and ask questions. The girls may even be able to refer you ... (read in full...)
Everyone at uni assumes that there's something going on between my tutor and me...
Q. Hi everyone, I'm having problems with one of my teachers. I am at university and have one tutor in particular who takes me for most of my classes. She has been very helpful to me this year, doing things like taking me home when i'm unwell and taki...
A. 4 October 2005: Try behaving yourself when you are around her. If she is your tutor, you are paying her, or someone is paying her to help you with your studies. That is hard work, and she is entitled to every possible degree of respect from you. How dare you shout ... (read in full...)
I gave my alcohol-dependant girlfriend every chance to be with me, but she still chose to leave...
Q. I am a 45 year old male. I entered into a relationship with a woman who is 39. She met me at a gathering this past summer for my sister's college graduation and came up to me and told me that she wanted me. Since then, we have tried to maintain a ...
A. 4 October 2005: Alcoholics can't control their drinking so don't expect the impossible. They have a disease. And the only thing they can do to help themselves is to stop. She is not ready to stop, and her mother was honest with you about that. Get a new woman, and ... (read in full...)
I pick fights with my partner because he has a social life and I'm left alone with our daughter...
Q. What do I do? I don't know anymore. Me and my partner have one child; she's one year old and I find that I'm constantly left on my own. He has his activities with friends 4 or more nights a week where he stays out late playing cards and then when he ...
A. 4 October 2005: If he hasn't been involved in helping to raise his daughter by this time, he should feel like a fifth wheel in his own home. But, he is saying as loud as he can that he won't miss you if you leave. So leave. Get another life. I just read a joke ... (read in full...)
He told me straight out that he doesn't love me, and yet I still want to stay with him forever...
Q. Been with my partner for 2 years now, love every minute (apart from when i get extrodinarily jealous because he's a very attractive gentleman and the ladies are very easily charmed by him - classic adventurer, full of stories, extremely intelligent ...
A. 4 October 2005: He needs professional help, and you can't give it to him. Steer him towards counseling with mental health professional to deal with his grief from losing his second wife( divorce can be as bad as death). Then see if he doesn't change. He sounds like ... (read in full...)
We've both been cheating on our partners, and last weekend, we almost got caught!
Q. Hi all. I am in a seriously confusing situation, and I need all the help I can get. I have been in a relationship with Bill* for almost 3 years, and its always been unstable, we fight almost every day, and never agree on anything. We've broken up ...
A. 4 October 2005: What tangled webs we weave, when first we plan to deceive.... Why don't you and Paul suggest to Paul and Alice that they get together? Then all four of you can be happy. You say you don't have the courage to leave Bill, but then your are running ... (read in full...)
Rejected one time and I don't feel like I can ask my partner for sex ever again...
Q. I have a problem. I can never bring myself to ask my partner for sex. He has mentioned this to me as well. I did once a few years ago and he rejected me. It was really hard to ask but after that incident I feel I could never ask again. What's wrong ...
A. 4 October 2005: Does he ask you for sex, of is this a platonic relationship? No one likes to be rejected, and some of us can take rejection and make it a permanent negative part of our lives. You secretly hate the person who rejected you. Have you talked to your bf ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend remembers his first kiss with his ex... but not our first kiss!
Q. My boyfriend of two years still talks about his ex-wife and the woman he had a year long "rebound" relationship with after his divorce. He told me all about how horrible the break ups were and when talking about the ex girlfriend breaking up with ...
A. 4 October 2005: Miss: This is just too much melodrama for one person to live. First, if you love someone, you are probably always going to love that person, even when a relationship ends. There is a certain chemistry that takes place between two people when they ... (read in full...)
Is he flirting with me, or just making conversation?
Q. An older guy that I me through work has made statements like " we can have any relationship we want " and " I'm 44...you're 34 .....we are on the same wavelength ..". Is he purely interested , or only flirting? Don't want to read the signals ...
A. 4 October 2005: Probably both. You should ask him. What do you know about him? Have you talked to other co-workers to find out if he is married, divorced, widowed, etc? Flirting is often done to put women at ease in the company of men,and to compliment them, ... (read in full...)
I want this guy in a big way and think he likes me too. Tell him or not?
Q. I really like this guy a lot but I want to be honest here. I really want him a lot. How am I going to let him know? I feel so into him. He is so sweet on me and I am so sweet on him. He really makes me comfortable. I really want him to know that I ...
A. 2 October 2005: There are no guarantees in life, and there are surely no perfect answers here for you. The secret of all great relatonships is communication. YOU have to talk to him. Tell him how your feel. Do this somewhere where both of you can be relaxed, ... (read in full...)
He freaked when I wanted to have a chat about what was up with our relationship...
Q. I met this great guy about 2 months ago and we starting seeing each other. It was going extremely well, he kept saying he liked me a lot and we got on famously, but then he was a bit distant as well sometimes. Because of the mixed signals, I decide...
A. 2 October 2005: What part of " NO " don't you understand? He doesn't want to have a relationship with you. He has made that clear. Move on. And leave this poor man alone. ... (read in full...)
My husband is never wrong! Ever!
Q. I've been married for 12 years and have a 9 yr. old son. I am thinking about divorcing my husband. We don't communicate, and he pays no attention to his son. He states in the 12 yrs. of our marriage he has NEVER been wrong about anything. How can ...
A. 2 October 2005: Hitting him with a summons to court to answer your divorce petition should do it ! But, I don't think anything else will. He is obviously very insecure, and is overcompensating. Both of you should be in counseling, but he won't go. So what is there ... (read in full...)
One day after I lost my virginity to him, he's spreading rumours about me. I feel awful...
Q. Dear Cupid, I am only 16 years old and I just lost my virginity to this guy I am really into. Our relationship has been very on and off for the past year and we aren't even really dating right now. Some of our mutual friends are calling me a slut n...
A. 2 October 2005: There is no easy answer here. What is the worst problem is his spreading gossip about you. No one should ever kiss and tell! The next person who says something about your deflowering by this guy, look straight into his/her eyes, and tell him/her ... (read in full...)
All I wanted was for my girlfriend to spend the night... but it led to a 'permanent break'.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a little over two years and 3 months. We don't fight often but every now and then we do get really heated I will say something like "I can't do this anymore" or "Do you want to break up?" A couple night ago we w...
A. 2 October 2005: There is no chance. She was looking for an excuse to make your behavior the reason for a break, so she would not feel so guilty, and she got it. At least you were not married and have kids. Move on. If she wants you back, you will hear from her. But ... (read in full...)
I don't mix with girls at school, so I don't know how to ask them out...
Q. Hi, I'm 15 and I go to an all same sex school - so I have trouble talking to girls anyway. The only girls that are round my way are 13/12. And I have never ever had a girlfriend, and I find it hard to mix with people. How can I get a girlfriend? How ...
A. 2 October 2005: YOu are the age when you need to spend the time learning courage, and not worry about being alone. Learn skills that will allow you to help people. If you are a swimmer, learn to be a life guard. Learn first aid, and CPR. Learn how to use a fire ... (read in full...)
The fact that my lady friend is being stalked by a workmate makes her hesitant to consider a relationship with me...
Q. I just met the girl of my dreams but she just got out of a very bad relationship and the guy keeps stalking her. They both work for the same company. She came to visit me in Key West durning the Poker Run last month. Then a hurricane came thru, Ka...
A. 30 September 2005: Talk to your divorce lawyer about what she has to do to get a restraining order against the guy. And tell her to call the police if he does not leave her alone. There are anti-stalking laws in most of the states, now, and the police take these calls ... (read in full...)
The guilt of our falling in love with each other made my soulmate to pull away from me!
Q. About a year ago I realised my relationship was going nowhere but was happy to accept it for reasons of security. Six months ago I fell in love with my partner's best friend and she with me. We fought our feelings at first, but eventually had to g...
A. 30 September 2005: There was a man who searched for the perfect wife. Years later he found her. But they did not marry, as she was also looking for the perfect husband!
It takes two people to make a relationship and a marriage. If she doesn't think the two of you s... (read in full...)
I want to marry my boyfriend, but my mom is totally against it!
Q. I really need help. I'm 18 and have been with my boyfriend a long time. In 3 months time he wants to get married and has had a vasectomy. He is getting it reversed so we can start having children. Problem is I'm in great risk of losing my mom if I...
A. 30 September 2005: Put the brakes on here, darling. If you have not broken with your mother, so that her wishes are any kind of influence on decisions as important as who and when you marry, then you need to do some growing up before taking the plunge. I suspect your ... (read in full...)
Are my ex and his roommate gay..?
Q. My ex has a male roommate to save on expenses. They go everywhere together, cook for one another, buy each other birthday gifts, and they're planning a vacation to the Virgin Islands--together....Am I being presumptuous to think they may be gay or ...
A. 30 September 2005: Yes. They may just be best friends. Or they may be gay. If he is your ex, what business is it of yours? Ignor him. Get on with YOUR life. ... (read in full...)
My ex and I still talk and meet sometimes. Does that just prolong the break-up?
Q. Im a 31 divorcee (of 3 yrs) and have recently split up with my boyfriend of 1 1/2 yrs. He too was separated, his wife cheated on him 3 yrs ago. He says he loves me but his head's all screwed up, and not just because of his ex - I'm sure he's ...
A. 30 September 2005: At your age, if you don't know what to do, you probably need to see a counselor. By now you should have learned how to end relationships and move on. He may be having problems, and they may be worse now that you have left him. But, you can't help ... (read in full...)
When I'm alone is when I miss my ex the most... but I want to get over him!
Q. I have just broken up with my boyfriend and even though we weren't happy together I am finding it hard to get over him. I don't want him to get with anyone else even though I know we dont get on. Does anyone have any good tips on how I can get ...
A. 30 September 2005: What you are admitting to is wrong, if not sick, or bizarre. YOu don't own your boyfriend, so you can't control who he sees, or dates. Get over it! The best way to get over a former relationship is to begin dating someone else. Get out and meet ... (read in full...)
Would it be OK to date my ex-husband's cousin?
Q. I am a recently divorced. My question is, is it OK for me to date my ex husband's cousin? He and I have been really good friends for 4 years and we want to take it to the next level. What are your thoughts on this and how should we go about go...
A. 30 September 2005: Why wouldn't it be okay to date your ex-husband's cousin? Stop obsessing about the busybodies of the world, and go find your own happiness. If tongues wag, its because they are jealous that you can find someone new after your divorce, and they ... (read in full...)
I'd love to end things with my current boyfriend, so I can start anew with my first love...
Q. I have been dating someone for six months. He is 51 and thinks the world of me. I have tried to finish with him three times because he has done some very dodgy things. Both his marriages failed because of infidelity, the first with his wife's s...
A. 30 September 2005: Oh, come on! Just tell him you don't see a future for the two of you, and you would feel better if he stopped calling you. Tell him you will not go out with him. You sound like you really want your cake, and also eat it too. If the old flame is ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to make new friends, but one single rejection and I'm devastated!
Q. I want to try and improve on social skills by going to pubs and bars and making general small talk. Sometimes it goes well, but it really only takes one bad chat, and I'm right back there on square one again. Even when it does go well, it's not ...
A. 30 September 2005: How much of the bad chats, as you describe them, are due to you being tired, or under the influence? Bars are places people go to drink, not to wax philosophic, generally. There are obvious exceptions, particular around Universities. However, I must ... (read in full...)
Will we still be together when it's time for my boyfriend to leave for overseas?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months - he is 23 and I'm 20, and I can honestly say I've never felt this strongly about anyone before, and he has all the qualities that I could want in a person to spend my future with. I'm pretty s...
A. 30 September 2005: Ask him how he feels about you, and your relationship. Tell him you are going to miss him if he goes, and you hope he does not stay away long. He should not assume that you will wait around for him at your age. There are other men out there who ... (read in full...)
Too shy to talk to the girl directly, I sent her a poem and a rose instead...
Q. Hi I have fallen for a Girl and am too shy to go and speak to her I didn't know what else to do so I sent her a rose with a poem telling her that I liked her and that I wanted to ask her out. I left a text number but she didn't reply. I guess s...
A. 30 September 2005: Most girls today at least talk to a guy and learn his name before receiving a flower and poem! You overdid it a little, and she is not yet old enough to appreciate how lucky she was. Stop treating firls like things, and talk to her like she is ... (read in full...)
I'm always the one to initiate sex with my boyfriend. The lack of intimacy is driving me mad!
Q. I don't understand....my boyfriend never seems to be in the mood. I ask him if anything is wrong....I try to get him in the mood, and that usually doesn't work. I am usually a very affectionate person, but this lack of intimacy makes me feel like ...
A. 30 September 2005: Ask him to get checked out by a physician to see if there is anything wrong medically. It is not normal for a man to have no interest in sex. If his physician give him a clean bill of health, then his problem is between his ears. Tell him he either ... (read in full...)
We broke up promising to be "friends", but now she's mad because I called her!
Q. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years just recently broke up. It was because of one stupid arguement but I guess you can say the separation was a long time coming. When we were together it was perfect and we were both full of love. We even had talked a...
A. 30 September 2005: MOve on. Its her decision, and you are not in a position to change her mind. Consider it her loss. There will be someone else out there who will appreciate you. Ffind her.
Use this experience to find out what things are worth arguing about, a... (read in full...)
My girlfriend shaves her legs in public...
Q. I am 21 and my girlfriend is 19. She shaves her legs in public - when we were on the beach she did it, and got attention (negative!) What do I do about this habit of hers?...
A. 29 September 2005: Talk to her. Ask her how many other women does she see, or know who shave in public? Then explain that is why she gets " negative " attention. Really, its no big deal, and she is the one who will be criticized, mainly by other women. If you know her ... (read in full...)
Help me decide if my relationship is worth saving...
Q. Should I stay with him if...? We were together for 3 yrs and broke up, then got back together for 6 months and I'm ready to call it quits again. To my 3 calls he has one. Sometimes doesn't call for 2 or more days at a time. Is never around when I...
A. 28 September 2005: Just from reading what you say about him not calling you tells me it is over as far as he is concerned. Whatever went wrong, I think it is too late to fix. End it with a kind note to him, or message on his answering machine, and find someone who ... (read in full...)
I didn't realise how much I still loved my ex, until he moved to my city!
Q. My first love, who dumped me after I decided to move away for school, has now - a year after me - moved to the same city. Ever since he told me that he wanted to move here I have been confused and now that he's here I realize I still love him. Do ...
A. 28 September 2005: Nothing ventured, nothing gained Has he contacted you? Does he know you are still here? How did you find out that he has moved back? The answers to these questions might give you a clue as to whether he has any interest in renewing the relationship. ... (read in full...)
| *ops's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ops has
added them and they have added *ops!
|
