We keep getting together as friends, so we can't properly break up...
Q. OK, I'm giving up on my quest to get my ex-fiance' back. We were together for 3 years. We broke up 3 months ago and I couldn't get over him and have tried almost every day to get him back and nothing's working. He is not dating anyone and I am not ...
A. 15 September 2005: Let him go. Get your counseling, and get help for your mental problems. Depression is treatable. You also need counseling for being so obsessed over this guy. You are not the first person who has been rejected by a lover. It happens all the time. ... (read in full...)
We slept together and I fell for him, but now he tells me he's got a girlfriend!
Q. I met this guy about two weeks ago, and we have hung out at his house with some of his friends a couple of times. And the last time we ended up sleeping together, so of course being a girl, I have fallen for him. He's all I think about, but when...
A. 15 September 2005: What is the problem in accepting the fact that you made an attempt to get to know this guy, had sex with him, but he decided you are not the girl for him? Move on. His rejection is not an insult. It is a choice. He probably is wrong. But it is his ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend seems cooler to me. She's pulling away and sex is less frequent...
Q. Hi, ive been left slightly worried over the past few months by some antics of my girlfriend, i really want to ask her but ive already let her down as i looked at some of her personal stuff as i had questions on my mind that i couldnt get answers for ...
A. 14 September 2005: Have a frank talk with your gf away from the bedroom, and away from any other place you like to get intimate with her. Make sure you both have your clothes on. The number one reason women leave men is money. The second reason is sex. From what you ... (read in full...)
Plenty of sex with my boyfriend, but no orgasms while we're at it. What's wrong?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. I have never achieved an orgasm during sex. He has made me orgasm using his hands and usually after sex he will "finish me off". This is always nice but lately I've been feeling a bit turned off and fed ...
A. 14 September 2005: Only you can know how to make you have an orgasm. Learn. Then teach your lover. To help you climax during sex, he will have to mount you high so that his pubic arch rubs your clitoris. And, it sounds like you are scared of sex. Are you still worried ... (read in full...)
Mum and my husband were having sex! I feel sick!
Q. I am 21 and my new husband is 23. We have been married for 2 weeks now. I came home from work one day to find my husband in bed with my mother kissing and having sex! I can't face either of them and feel sick to the stomach after finding out th...
A. 14 September 2005: What do you need to get you to see an attorney about a divorce? Come on. End this relationship, and give your mother a piece of your mind about her behavior, too. These are adults, and they knew the consequences of what they were doing. consciously ... (read in full...)
My girl didn't seem to care about me, until there was a chance I'd go out with someone else!
Q. I was recently seeing a girl for about 2 months. I went on holiday and when I came back she seemed different. After a lot of chasing on my part she said she didn't want to be with me. This was about a month ago now but the other weekend she found ...
A. 14 September 2005: Stay away from this girl. Consider yourself lucky to have escaped. She is either mean, or crazy or both. Ignore her, and date other girls. If she is envious, that is her problem. She had her chance with you, and she pushed you away. If you have ... (read in full...)
Me: quiet and traditional. Her: loud and bubbly. How would I ask her out?
Q. The girl I love is very flirty and I don't know how to interact with her. She is loud and bubbly while I am more quiet and "traditional" about such things. She knows I like her a lot but shows me no recognition. I just don't know how to intro...
A. 14 September 2005: Introduce your personality to her? That is a new one! If you are quiet and traditional, how does anyone know if you even have a personality? Wallflowers, like weeds, get passed by in life, largely unnoticed until some gets stuck by one. Stop being a ... (read in full...)
I want to fall in love and my actions seem to say it, but when she falls for me, I lose interest!
Q. Dear Cupid, I love girls and love a lot of them. I have probably fallen in and out of love with more than 10-12 girls so far in my life. I am 23 yr old guy and have always been like this since my childhood. I loved to be in company of girls...
A. 14 September 2005: Yes you have some problems! You are in a state of arrested development, in that you are masterful at making women comfortable with you, and can talk them into bed, but you haven't a clue what love is. You love yourself, but can't seem to love ... (read in full...)
We had a great time in bed, but I never orgasmed, and I want to know why not...
Q. OK, this is sort of embarrassing so that's the only reason I haven't mentioned my name. I have been feeling shitty recently. Problems with a guy I love or thought I loved. I went and fooled around with someone I don't know. Basically I felt tra...
A. 14 September 2005: Only you can have an orgasm. When you get good at alone, then you can share that experience with a lover! You need to learn what excites you, and how to bring yourself to orgasm. You have to learn that you will have different kinds of orgasms, and ... (read in full...)
Should I take the risk and move interstate to be with my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years was accepted to med school in the next state, 3 hours away. I am currently finishing my MA, so I will be done with school and looking for a new job about the time that he moves. Yes, we have discussed marriage. No, those ...
A. 14 September 2005: How about, What do you think? I don't think any opinion any of us have is relevant to how you feel about your bf, and how he feels about you! Does he want you to follow him to the other state? Or is this just a college romance that is about over? ... (read in full...)
Can't face my boyfriend since I cheated...
Q. I have been in a serious relationship for 4 years. My partner and I recently had a break because I cheated and couldn't face him. He doesn't know that I have been unfaithful. Things are not going well, although he has moved back in and we are both ...
A. 13 September 2005: You should be ashamed of yourself. That is why it is called cheating! How are we to know why you feel like screwing other men? We can't possibly know what is in your head, or your heart, or what kind of sex life you have with the live-in. But if it ... (read in full...)
At 15, am I too old for my 13-year-old girlfriend?
Q. Right. I am 15 and dating a 13 yr old and we have been going out for a while and that. I really like her and she realy likes me but there are a few wee daft guys at the same age of her doing my head in, saying I'm too old, although the people the ...
A. 13 September 2005: The age difference is not going to seem like much at 15, but it would if you were 13. Why don't you find someone your own age to date. Right now, you could get into a lot of legal trouble if she, or her parents even accused you of doing anything ... (read in full...)
Sex. Should we do it drunk or sober?
Q. When me and my partner are drunk she wants to act sexually, but I would prefer to do so being sober. What's your opinion?...
A. 13 September 2005: I am with you. And, when you are sober, maybe you can work on your grammar, too.( Its" When my partner and I are drunk...")... (read in full...)
There's no sexual chemistry in our relationship. Is that because I don't have orgasms with my boyfriend?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. Lately, I have noticed that their was something big missing in our relationship. My boyfriend and I discussed this matter and he actually made me realize what it is, it's sexual chemistry that is ...
A. 13 September 2005: Were you ever sexual? Did you ever have an orgasm, with him, or alone? I am suspecting that your lack of interest in sex preceeded your relationship with him. First, get a check up with your physician, to make sure there is nothing organic wrong ... (read in full...)
We're both straight and we don't have gay feelings for each other... but I feel almost "lovestruck" about him!
Q. I am a 20 year old single straight guy and am confused about my friendship with my (male) best-friend. We always have a good laugh together, enjoy each others' company, share problems etc. etc, and I feel like I can speak openly with him about ...
A. 13 September 2005: There is nothing wrong with having strong feelings for your best friend. But, if you don't know the difference between loving a man and loving a woman( emotionally, not physically), then you do have a problem. Most of us are lucky enough to have ... (read in full...)
We argue and fight over stupid stuff, even though we love each other!
Q. Okay, me and this boy have been together for a long time. I know he loves me, and he knows that I love him, but we argue over the stupidest stuff ever and it gets us into a huge fight. We always say, well maybe we should break up, it's for the ...
A. 13 September 2005: If the arguments are over nothing, stop arguing. Find something to make each other laugh instead. You are young, and it takes more maturity for most people to learn when to pick a fight, and when to let things be. You are normal, for your age. But, ... (read in full...)
How do I balance my new life at uni and my time with my boyfriend... 70 miles away?
Q. I am starting University next month and am scared about how it's going to affect my relationship with my boyfriend. He will be starting his second year at a uni about 70 miles away from mine. In his first year I was still at school so he would co...
A. 13 September 2005: With two universtities located so close to each other, there are bound to be both faculty and students who commute regularly between the two schools. When you start school, look into finding these people- post a notice on a common bulletin board ... (read in full...)
Could my guy still be looking for dates from the site he met me on?
Q. Okay so here it is. About 3 months ago I was on a online dating website. I figured I would try it out. I created my profile and began my first search. The first profile that came up was a guy I used to know (not in a dating way) but through my ...
A. 12 September 2005: If you don't trust him, stop seeing him. You will never be happy with him if the trust is not there. Even if you are wrong, you need to deal with your past problems, or they will spoil all future relationships. Get some help with those past wounds, ... (read in full...)
We're not ready to date because I'm afraid of what my ex might do if he finds out!
Q. Hi, I had a bad breakup with my ex about 4 months ago, and when I left him, his best friend mostly stopped talking to him as well. I became really close with his friend and I like him as more than a friend. I've told him I like him and he likes me, ...
A. 12 September 2005: Tell your ex that you don't want to renew your relationship, and that he must stop calling you. If he doesn't comply with your wishes, get a restraining order. Violent people are just the kind of people who need to talk to a cop! And, that is why we ... (read in full...)
All those gestures and kindnesses... don't they mean something?
Q. I was new in this country when I had this colleague who at first seemed to show interest in me. Being a foreigner who does not know anything on the people's attitude on this country, I am not sure if he's just being nice or he likes me. With doubt ...
A. 11 September 2005: Your friend was being just that, a friend. If he wanted more of an relationship, he would have sent emails to you sooner. He obviously likes you, and cares to see you come to know harm. But, in western culture, that is often seen as simply living by ... (read in full...)
We did..well, almost everything! Now I'm scared I might have caught something!
Q. I gave myself to a guy on the very first time I met him. I mean, not everything but almost. I never gave him everything cos I'm a virgin but it still feels weird. It's not the kind of thing I'd usually do. It's actually the first time I went so far. ...
A. 11 September 2005: Talk to a health clinic, and get a referal to a lab that will do a discrete testing of you for STDs, and pregnancy. If the tests come back negative, you are lucky. All the things you told us should have made you put the breaks on and insist that at ... (read in full...)
When I walked in, a friend was flashing my husband!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 12 years. We have always had a good sex life, and I don't mind him looking at girls, just not touching. We had some friends over one night (a couple) and the girl went to the master bathroom knowing my husband ...
A. 11 September 2005: First, throw this so-called friend out of your life! Her conduct was inexcusable. Then have a long serious talk with your husband. If the sex is going south, let him know he is not keeping up his end of the bargain. You have a right to be happy with ... (read in full...)
We swapped phone numbers and email, but does that mean he's interested in me?
Q. Hey I‘m 15, and I met someone a couple of nights back at my friends social event. We hit it off right away and were chatting all night. He even gave me a miniature of his recent school photo. At the end of the night we traded phone numbers and email ...
A. 11 September 2005: If you were closer to him there would be several ways to tell. However, considering your age, and lack of experience, the only way you can tell about this boy is to talk to him. You don't have to ask him directly if he likes you- I suspect he would ... (read in full...)
Guys dump me because of my self-esteem problem. But how do I fix it?
Q. Hi there, I am 29 and single and have realised finally that my self-esteem is incredibly low. I was with an abusive guy for three years, and then he dumped me! We lived together and it took me almost two years to recover. I feel this is not nor...
A. 11 September 2005: Make lists. Make a list of all the good things about yourself. Make a list of the bad things about yourself. Make a list of those things about your self you want to improve. Make a list of things you see in other people you admire. Make a list of ... (read in full...)
I love both my girlfriend - and her best friend...
Q. I'm am attracted to my girlfriend's best friend. We have been going out for 3 years. I love my girlfriend yet I still feel so attracted to her best friend, we seem to get along so well and we are both attracted to each other sexually. What can I do...
A. 11 September 2005: The way you are going, you will probably lose them both. Either pick one, or wait until you better understand why you are attracted to anyone, before thinking about dating. ... (read in full...)
Relationship died 18 months ago, but the sex continued. Now I want to be re-committed again!
Q. Hi, I was in a relationship but was being insecure by calling her when she was out with girlfriends several times, asking her when she was coming instead of relaxing and waiting for her to come home. This caused her to break up with me but we still ...
A. 11 September 2005: YOu can't keep her from finding another guy, not even if she marries you. Please wake up and join the 21st century. Seriously, If you are even thinking that you can control another woman, then she is probably pretty smart to break up with you. You ... (read in full...)
My friend wants to be with his son, but also to be with his married lover!
Q. My friend is separated from his wife for three years without communication. They also have one son. He moved to another country and during his year of staying, he met a married woman and got into relationship. They have a ups and down relationship, ...
A. 11 September 2005: No, its not right. He is entitled to happiness, and if the marriage is not working out, and the two can't make it work after getting marriage counseling and making the effort, then the child and the couple will be better off if the marriage ends. ... (read in full...)
My mum and dad aren't happy with each other, and they try to drag me into their morass!
Q. Dear Cupid, I want to stay away from my family but my family members want to stick with me and don't want to let go of me. I am 22 yrs of age and all my childhood, i had experienced stressful family environment with parents always fighting with ea...
A. 11 September 2005: Being from a different culture, your parents may resist getting marriage counseling. But you need to try, for their sakes and yours. They should have been in counseling years ago. Its never to late to get help. The fact that this has gone on so long ... (read in full...)
I think I fancy these two girls, even though they drag me down the stairs at school!
Q. At school I fancy these two girls in my class and they stare into my eyes, ask me for answers. If I don't give them answers they will nip me or drag me down the stairs. Is this a flirting technique? I would love to go out with them but how would ...
A. 11 September 2005: If you don't know how to ask, you are too young to date! Yes, this is an immature form of flirting, usually seen when kids are pre-teens. Sometimes it spills over until people are 16 or 17. Tell them to stop it. It is also a criminal assault, and ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that my girlfriend would spend her weekend at an intervention with her male friend?
Q. I need advice. I've been dating this girl for about 3 months. Everything is awesome. She has this annoying friend in Maryland who is an alcoholic and is in AA. He invited my girlfriend and his parents down for an intervention this weekend. Well she ...
A. 11 September 2005: Yes and no. You have a right to be concerned because this does seem to be going the extra mile, pardon the pun, for someone who is only a friend. I can't believe there is no one else that is closer to the guy than your girlfriend. Did they grow up ... (read in full...)
Over a few drinks I got intimate again with my ex, then he dumped me a second time!
Q. I have went through a painful breakup from my 3 year relationship about 2 months ago and was just starting to see a "light at the end of the tunnel", when he said he wanted to see me again and that he was missing me terribly. Against my better ...
A. 11 September 2005: You are the only one to blame for what has happened. You didn't need to meet him, but if you wanted to take that chance, you could have insisted it take place in a less persuasive place than a bar. You chose to drink, obviously too much, and in ... (read in full...)
The boy I like was hugging a girl I hate!
Q. Dear Cupid, There's this boy I like. He was in my class last year. All my friends say he likes me. Last year he flirted with me a lot. Last year I was in 8th grade. I saw him hugging another girl who I hate.Did he forget about me? ...
A. 11 September 2005: At his age, yes, he probably did. Or, he may remember you, and is too shy to ask you to do more than laugh at his jokes. Or, your friends are just being mean to you, by telling you that he likes you, when they don't have a clue, beyond the fact that ... (read in full...)
My wife wants to "do" me with a strapon... Surely to God this isn't natural?
Q. me and my wife have a good sex life but she wants to try anal on me with toys then a strapon we like to try new things but her doing it to me doesnt seem natural. if we do try anyone got any advice on best strapon(small plz) best lube and best ...
A. 10 September 2005: The so-called male G-spot referred to above is actually the prostate gland. And, yes, many men, if not most, experience a pleasurable sensation if it is stimulated, either by fingers, or dildoes. As for choice of dildoes to use with a strap on ... (read in full...)
My wedding was hell... My husband disappeared, he ripped up the marriage certificate and the best man peed in front of our house!
Q. We're been married for two weeks and I am already thinking of divorce... The month running up to our wedding was very stressful. Not only the normal wedding stress, but also becuase my husband lost a lot of money at work. Money which should hav...
A. 10 September 2005: This is a new one. You think you have 30 days to " cancel" a wedding? You are married, and in most jurisdictions you can only end the marriage by a divorce( dissolution). The money for the rings, the wedding and the reception should have been ... (read in full...)
Is it fair that he dumped me for sleeping with someone 9 years ago?
Q. My Boyfriend of three years has dumped me. The reason he cited is that I slept with his best friend 9 years ago and he can't cope with that fact. He says I don't understand the male ego. I think that this is deeply unreasonable, what do yo...
A. 10 September 2005: Well, I am male, and I don't understand his problem, either. It has nothing to do with the general male ego. He's the nut case! Run from him as fast and as far as your feet can take you. In this case, you have him pegged, and you are correct that he ... (read in full...)
He didn't return my calls. He spent Monday with his ex. Are we finished?
Q. Should I leave my boyfriend? On Friday last week, my boyfriend promised that we would spend some time together as we have both been busy. On Saturday he turns up and tells me that he can't stay as he has promised his dad that he will help him out ...
A. 10 September 2005: The relationship is probably over. You will have to call him to find out for sure. But what have you lost, really? If he doesn't know who he wants to be with, why waste your time? I am sure there are men out that are more mature, and know who they ... (read in full...)
Am I normal? Just not that fussed about a girlfriend...
Q. Hey! Great site by the way. I am a 27 year old fella. I have had long-term girlfriends, short term girlfriends and everything else in between. I split from my last bird over a year ago. Problem is this: I don't feel the *need* to have a girlfriend. ...
A. 10 September 2005: Please, stay as celebate as possible. Don't inflict yourself on nice women. If you can't love anyone other than yourself, stay single. ... (read in full...)
He obsessed with me, but I don't feel the same about him anymore!
Q. Hey I'm 23, F, and I have been with my bf for 2 years now and he's become very obsessed with me. My picture's everywhere, won't leave me alone. I have had enough. I don't feel the same for him but I don't know how to break up with him because I'm ...
A. 10 September 2005: If your bf is suicidal, tell his family, and the police, and try to find someone to counsel him. But, by all means, leave him and stay away from him. Yes, you will feel badly if he kills himself, but he can do that any time and you can't do anything ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified by the idea of getting close to women!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have problems with women. I am scared of them, or for that matter, scared of at least going close to them. It happened to me quite a few times that I felt terrified in the presence of a woman, a woman of authority for example, at ...
A. 10 September 2005: Its obvious you are obsessed with winning your mother's love, and you transfer these feelings to other women, particular older women like your mother, who have authority over you. Get some counseling. Your mother does not know how to love, and ... (read in full...)
So, we're friends, but how do I know if she likes me in the same way?
Q. I'm a 16 year old male in year 11 at school. There's a really good looking girl who I think I'm good friends with and I really like her. She's really talkative to me and laughs at some of the jokes and stuff, but how do I know if she likes me in the ...
A. 10 September 2005: She probably doesn't like you in the same way you like her. Girls are different than boys. The only way you are going to know is by asking her. How to ask her out? Approach her and say, " Would you like to ____________________( here, fill in what it ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I'm in love with someone?
Q. I have a huge dilemma. I am 16 years old. How do you know if you are in love with someone? And what do you do if you have a crush on someone a lot older than you? Please help me! ...
A. 9 September 2005: If you have a crush on someone a lot older, you accept the fact that you are normal for a sixteen year old. How do you know you are in love? That is an age old question. There is no one answer. The poets and muses have been writing about it for ... (read in full...)
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