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... Send *etina1 a private message | | | *etina1's profile:Hi I'm a 50+ Woman of the world. Been through divorce, lived as a single parent and work for social services. Spent 6 yrs in adult education. I've had many jobs and many experiences of working with diverse and interesting people. I know life can be hard and realize that some people don't know where to look for the answers for things that are important to them as an individual. I hope I can advise honestly and responsibly to the questions asked. Good Luck, Hope this helps. Petina1 x |
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The unthinkable happened, he just wants to be friends
Q. Last night my boyfriend Angel told me he just wants to be friends. It happened all of a sudden and I didn't see it coming. The reason for it is somewhat vague and I haven't fully grasped why yet because Angel was having a hard time expressing ...
A. 12 December 2010: He's asking for permission to end it. Very nicely of course. You shouldnt let your friend get involved with the two way phone thing. It sounds as if your boyfriend is thinking that the travelling/distance is going to be too much, which of course ... (read in full...)
My husband and best friend had sex and blame it on the drink!
Q. SO, in need of some advice- my husband, who've I've been for 6 years and have a son with, has slept with my best friend. After a long night of partying she stayed over at our house. My husband, who was totally drunk, decided to go into her bedroom ...
A. 12 December 2010: You've been with him for six years, has he got a drink problem? How many times have you not been with him when he's gone out for a drink and how can you be sure it's not a habit with him. He obviously can't be trusted with drink now can he? I ... (read in full...)
Why does it have to hurt so bad?
Q. My husband and I decided to separate yesterday morning. Well, more or less "take a break". I always knew that if a man needs a "break" its because he has other interests. I decided to go to the local bar to have a drink alone to calm my frazzled...
A. 12 December 2010: Your husband has been having an affair. He can't confess this to you so he says 'Let's have a break'.. That way he can go and see how it pans out with his lover, who he has been promising the earth to. If that doesnt work out, he can make his ... (read in full...)
Should we just spend Christmas with our repsective parents?
Q. My partner and I are both in our 40s and don't have children. My partner's mother was widowed 3 years ago and my mother died 8 months ago. This will be my father's first Christmas without her. I have 4 siblings of which only one is around to be with ...
A. 12 December 2010: I've always wondered why single men in their 40's spend so much time with their mothers. I would call them mummys boys. You may not be able to change his habits. What you could do is have a christmas meal on another day and get round who you ... (read in full...)
I am starting to look at other men
Q. My bf's hollier than thou attitude makes me vomit! He's never wrong even when he is wrong. He blames me for everything. And he never apologizes. Like for example this morning I was taking a shower while he was in the kitch. All of a sudden he was ...
A. 12 December 2010: When he goes out, pack up your bags and leave. He doesnt love you because men that love you don't act like this. You are a very strong woman, I know you can do it. When you've gone and away from there text him and tell him to 'have a nice life!'... (read in full...)
My sweet six year old becomes a demon when my boyfriend comes around
Q. Is it true that little girls will become more whiney and unruly to get attention, when their mother has a new boyfriend? i was in a new relationship and my sweet 6 year old became a demon when ever he was around What do I do?? I dont want to spank ...
A. 12 December 2010: It's not just little girls, its little boys as well. I wonder how you introduced your little girl to your new boyfriend, did you include her properly, did the boyfriend, be-friend her. She is obviously jealous and thinking that someone is going ... (read in full...)
Everyone assumes he's gay but, I think he might be into me!
Q. Hi I need a bit of advice! Met a colleague of my sisters for the first time yesterday, he's very cute, howeve everyone in the department, for various reasons, assumes he's gay, but I'm not so sure. As soon as I walked into the office he wa...
A. 12 December 2010: If the majority think that he is gay, then he could be, they know him better than you. Maybe he is out of his depth wanting to make a good impression with you because he knows your sister well. Knowing her well means that he thinks he knows you ... (read in full...)
I was infatuated, but I wanna get over it! S.O.S.
Q. I am a sophomore now and this happened a couple years ago. So there was this one teacher, he was a band teacher. He was super super cute! He was a teacher at the jr. High. Everyday after lunch he would always try to walk with me and we would talk. ...
A. 12 December 2010: He is actually risking his career. But like you say, you ant to get over him so what you must do it to avoid him. That's all. If anything did happen with him, he would lose his job. ... (read in full...)
Anyone, can you help my married friend?
Q. Ok I have a friend and his wife is so skeptictal about every woman that speaks to him they have been together for 13 years she constantly calls she is 33 and he is 44 . She burned right through the deployment money, she traveled to her home town , ...
A. 12 December 2010: Your friend needs to be stronger with her and insist that she is fair, whatever she does with her family he has a right to the same treatment with his. He must voice it. It does sound like she is not interested at all in his feelings or his ... (read in full...)
He admitted he was hung up on his ex, so I went for his brother instead!
Q. SO not too long ago I met a guy that I really liked. Well we hit it off well and things seem to be doing great! then a couple days ago he said that he is still in love with his ex. I told him that it was okay and we can still be friends. Then I ...
A. 12 December 2010: It's always difficult, especially when you have finished with someone else, it's not as if you have walked away and he's not seen you again, because there you are again, although seeing his brother. It's got to be hard for him to see you two ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend ends up kissing her best friend whenever we're on a break!
Q. please i need your opinions , every single one possible , i just do not get what my girlfriend means when she tells me she always had feelings for her best male friend ?.. i know that they kissed and done stuff together but i dont know what to think...
A. 12 December 2010: your girlfriend is playing you both. When you are on a break she runs to him and then back to you when she feels like it. I would let them get on with it. Find someone exclusive to you only.... (read in full...)
Think my husband is having gay encounters
Q. Help! I recently discovered an email account I did nopt know about which led to Craigs lists postings I did not know about. Long story short, my husband of 18 years had communications with other men over a period of 4 months while travelling. He ...
A. 12 December 2010: Just out of curiosity, if your husband was seeing other women would you be as forgiving. Cheating is cheating who ever it is with. He has a lot of issues as well that seem too far out of your reach to sort out. He is in a proper dilema. I wonder ... (read in full...)
It's been 2 years and I still love him...
Q. In 6th grade, i started to like this guy. let's call him tyler. anyways, so at the end of the year, i began to like tyler and there were rumors going around he liked me too. he asked me out in one of the few classes we had together, and i said yes. ...
A. 11 December 2010: You are both very young. He obviously likes you. He is probably testing out different girls to see what he really wants because he can. Relationships that are in very early stages can be quite strange for anyone and he sounds like he isnt sure what ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend told me she's always had feelings for her male best friend!!!
Q. hello everyone I need everyones opinion about this. what does it mean when ur girlfriend tells you that she always had feelings for her male best friend ? I know that they got intimate and they kissed and stuff but sometimes i dont really get ...
A. 11 December 2010: As soon as they get intimate and kisses and stuff I'm afraid the best friend thing has gone. He will now be a threat to you if she is claiming that she is seeing him as a best friend. It will be so easy for her to kiss and see him behind your back ... (read in full...)
Fallen out of love, my problems are manifold.
Q. For some, life is beautiful but for some others like me it is agonizing. I have been married for a few years now and did not want children until recently mainly due to financial hiccups. But then many problems are causing us to delay it further...
A. 11 December 2010: You have a lot on your plate it is causing you to be tired and depressed by the sounds of your writing. Firstly, no way would the doctor start a relationship with you because he will lose his job. You have a fixation on him because of how you are ... (read in full...)
I think my brother is on drugs!
Q. i need big time help i dont know who else to go to for this. My sister has a baby to take care of and my parents are old and have many other problems. I think my brother is taking drugs and i dont know what to do if i tel me parents and they try to ...
A. 11 December 2010: Find out if there is a drop in centre near where you live and go and seek some advice. Do you have a connextions near you, you can make an appointment to see someone to talk to in confidence. They will advise you on what to look for and also how ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him in one year when I leave school, or wait the two years?
Q. I'm a secondary school student in the UK, aged 16. I'm leaving in June to head to college. I consider myself a pretty normal individual but I have Asperger's Syndrome which means I've matured emotionally, much too early. According to my files, I'm ...
A. 11 December 2010: You are treading on dangerous grounds. Any teacher who gets involved with their pupil will lose their job. If you think he really does want to get serious with you, then drop him a note before you leave and let him know your feelings then. Then ... (read in full...)
He tells me he's over me but won't file divorce papers!
Q. So i left my husband over a year ago cause i was selfish and we fought alot. We were together for six years and have a son together. But i find myself still crying and miss him and i told him i was still in love with him but he is seeing somone ...
A. 11 December 2010: You don't have to wait for him to file the divorce, you can do it. If you say you still love him, and what to find out if he still has feelings that will be a quick fix for him. He may not be filing because he still holds some feelings, ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong in my life to be so unhappy
Q. Hi, I am sad. Feeling disturbed, keeping up appearances. I am 42, man. (Remember the Answer to the Question in the Hitch Hickers Guide to the Galaxy?) My problem is, that I feel alone. I am in a relationship now for about six year, we ...
A. 11 December 2010: thats good to change something within your self. View your world from another angle. It shows you have depth. A lot of people tend to implode and cannot see the wood for the trees. Some people imagine what others think or feel but will only get ... (read in full...)
Does she know it is a date?
Q. We're both single. We're going alone, just the 2 of us, to an NBA game. I asked her 'out' while she had a bf and she asked if there were only 2 tickets. I said yes. She agreed to go but things came up. Two weeks later she broke up with the bf. I ...
A. 1 December 2010: I don't think it's a date, but when you have got to the game, she may open up to you more and maybe it could be the start of something wonderful. good luck!... (read in full...)
I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong in my life to be so unhappy
Q. Hi, I am sad. Feeling disturbed, keeping up appearances. I am 42, man. (Remember the Answer to the Question in the Hitch Hickers Guide to the Galaxy?) My problem is, that I feel alone. I am in a relationship now for about six year, we ...
A. 1 December 2010: It seems to me you are in the classic loveless marriage. Is your wife very controlling? You are thinking about the children and like that aspect of your life, the family man bit. Imagine what your children would feel like if you left. If you ... (read in full...)
Should I just let things progress until he visits?
Q. I think I'm in love with my friend who another country. It sounds so cliche and so stupid, but it's true. When I was in college, I studied for a semester abroad: we met, became friends and, as these things often go, only kept touch sporadically ...
A. 1 December 2010: There's always something about letters, emails, messenger that has an air of romance about it. Then when we are face to face with people we can clam up. Don't read too much into the letters, although I wouldnt say rule them out. By writing your ... (read in full...)
Her behaviour with this new guy makes me question if her feelings for me are fake.....Is she keeping me as a reserve?
Q. Recently, i started to like this girl very much and i have very strong feelings for her.I can barely stop thinking about her at any given moment in a day. We have been talking to each other daily, we talk about normal stuff.She even asked me on...
A. 1 December 2010: She's obviously involved with another man. I'll bet he doesnt know about you. She is playing with you both. She will have to decide what she wants to do some day so you can either wait or tackle it head on. You must let her know that you don't ... (read in full...)
Any advice for keeping calm in interviews?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm new to this and I have a problem that no one seems to take seriously. I'm a temp at work and looking for another job before my contract runs out (that and commuting 20+ miles every day is terrible) I've been looking, sending...
A. 1 December 2010: After youve sent your CV off and this gets looked at, you will then be sent for an interview. Can you imagine how many people apply for jobs, they only wean out the ones with the best CV's so that should get you over the first hurdle of confidence ... (read in full...)
When is verbal abuse too much verbal abuse?
Q. I have a lot to ask, but it all leads up to, "When has the verbal abuse gone "too" far? My husband and I have been together for 8 years, we just recently got married this year. 8/2010. We are both mid 30's, and we each have 2 children. This is his ...
A. 1 December 2010: Abuse can affect you all your life. Some people think that they are in their comfort zone when they pick typically similar partners. Verbal abuse is just as traumatizing as physical abuse. It can damage your self worth. You have to be strong and ... (read in full...)
How do I soften that I don't want to be in relationship?
Q. Dear readers, what if one day a guy you have a good feeling for him comes and confesses that he likes you what would you do? In case if the relationship can't be happened what should I say? If I say " I have a good feeling for you too but I don't ...
A. 29 November 2010: Just let him know that you appreciate his friendship but at the moment you arent looking for anything else. If you don't say anything at all to him he will probably be a nuisance to you and eventually the words you do say to him may not be very ... (read in full...)
Do things get worse before they get better?
Q. is it true that things get worse before they get better? i've recently been thinking that might be true with me and my gf of 1 yr and 4 months. now every time we argue it does get worse but not till later things change dramatically better for us. so ...
A. 29 November 2010: In a relatively new relationship, which is what yours is, having arguments are a way of learning about each other. You are two strong willed people, you know your own mind and what you expect out of the relationship and life. The arguments will ... (read in full...)
When is verbal abuse too much verbal abuse?
Q. I have a lot to ask, but it all leads up to, "When has the verbal abuse gone "too" far? My husband and I have been together for 8 years, we just recently got married this year. 8/2010. We are both mid 30's, and we each have 2 children. This is his ...
A. 29 November 2010: He's probably wondering why you are refusing sex now after you are married and not before. He's bound to think it's something sinister because of his lack of trust. He could be thinking you are getting it elsewhere. Did you entice him in to ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue love even though the odds are against me?
Q. I have a problem, as do most other people who posts on this website. My problem has been going on for many years. I used to post really long and descriptive post of my situation but I'm running short on time at the moment so I'll have to make it ...
A. 29 November 2010: Being realistic, she now has a new boyfriend, so i would say she has no intentions of putting everything on the line for you at any cost. The way that the relationship has been moving along probably made her feel that it will never work or it's not ... (read in full...)
Any computer whizzs out there who can help?
Q. I know this has nothing to do with relationships but im really desperate. I emailed my coursework home to myself and so i opened it and started doing work on it. I spent all yesterday working at it saving it but not by save as. Today there has been ...
A. 28 November 2010: start at the place where you did it before you sent it, see if it's in there. Look in both computers in the junk folder, it could be in there. Also check the 'saved files' Use the 'Search' for all files and documents, typing in the title of the ... (read in full...)
How can I seduce a married lady
Q. i m a 26 yrs old guy..........i m havng affair with a 34 yr old married lady.....she has thre kids.....her husband is 50 yrs of age..how can i convince her for sex ......or seduce her.........as she doesnt like her husband.just with her for sake of ...
A. 28 November 2010: You are treading on dangerous grounds. Try to think of this scenario.. Her husband finds out,, her family finds out.. Has she got any brothers or has he. What will they do to you? Trust me my friend, most affairs get found out in the end. Try to ... (read in full...)
I can't trust him again!
Q. We broke up with my boyfriend for 8months bt he kept calling me until i gave up en agreed for meeting , we broke up because he cheated on me bt i still love him very much my problem is now i cant trust him again now im confused wht should i do...
A. 28 November 2010: 8 months of going out with you and he cheated. How can you ever trust him again? It's entirely up to you. Do you want to give him another chance? Watch his every move if you do.... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for most things but I'm afraid he'll leave me
Q. hello i have a boyfriend and weve been going out for 3 weeks. weve already hugged and kissed goodbye. but he txts me saying we should hold hands and make out and have oral sex. im not ready, when im with him i feel akward even thoough i love him.i ...
A. 28 November 2010: Wow!, he's a bit forward isnt he. After reading what you wrote I would get the hell out of there. Tell your sister to keep away from him as well. It's blatently obvious to me that he is just after sex. 3 weeks is just a bit too early to be ... (read in full...)
Sister vs. sister
Q. okay i have a bad situation. my sis and this guy were together. they brroke up cuz he was flirting with me, well now im with him and he talks on the phone and txts my sis alot wat do i do??...
A. 28 November 2010: If it were me i would dump him. I would also let your sister know that he is playing you both so if she has any sense she should also dump him.... (read in full...)
Should I ask him why he takes so long to reply me?
Q. My bf used to send me more than 1 or 2 messages a day, and usually he is the one who says "hi" first when I'm online and reply me very quick. But these days, he only sent me 1 message a day and I became the one who says "hi" first ( I know this ...
A. 28 November 2010: Who knows what the other person is doing when you are talking on line. It could be just as simple as he was in the bathroom when you said 'Hi'. You may be coming across as being a bit clingy. ... (read in full...)
Do I have to dump my married man?
Q. Im inlove with married man,we have been together for some mnths now,judging by his actions i think he loves me,god im so much inlove with him,he dont want to talk much about his marriage,is he using me for sex?do i have to dump him b4 it 2 late?...
A. 28 November 2010: I have a friend who has being seeing a married man for 17 yrs. each year he moved the goalpost, cant leave because his son is a baby, will leave when son is 16. That came and went, son's in college having a few probs cant leave yet. Sons 23 now, ... (read in full...)
I've got 24 hours to decide whether to move or not and I don't know what to do!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I need advice badly, I'm not sure what to do. I'm 30, female and currently living miles away from home as decided to go back to university to become a teacher secondary school. I was working in pr previous to this, but in a b...
A. 28 November 2010: Teaching would not be a career I'd want, it is so stressful and such hard work these days for no thanks. You've not being able to decide on anything really have you. But now that you do realize what it is you want you have seen it all slip away. ... (read in full...)
Am I gay? or os it just a phase in my life?
Q. Am i gay? or os it just a phase in my life? I have not had a girlfriend, But i had no interest in boys untill i had gay sex with my friend. When i see a girl naked now i dont get turned on but when i see a guy naked i get a full on erection. I have ...
A. 28 November 2010: Only you could fully answer this question. I think you are gay. You probably feel the need to have sex with a woman as well so that you know for sure. Lots of people your age go through these feelings.... (read in full...)
Is my ex trying to make a point to his partner that he's a father?
Q. hi,i have an ex who i had a child with he got married not long after our split.My girl is three now he left me when she was just over a year.It took along time to get over the breakup,when i had to move out he left me with stuff all and a bit of ...
A. 28 November 2010: You need to talk to family courts and get some contact routines in place. Is he having her when he likes because it's his decision. The family courts will take in to consideration what it is the child would like, she has rights too. You all must ... (read in full...)
I need to let go of my boyfriend for good!
Q. I have dated my boyfriend for about 3 years now. He is my first for EVERYTHING (first guy to ask me out, i lost my virginity to him, everything). We have our ups and downs His idea of a relationship is I do what I do he does what he does and we meet ...
A. 28 November 2010: You are in a love triangle. I can see why your family arent keen on him, he has no prospects at the moment. If his friend wasnt around you could concentrate on just you two because it seems like this is what's holding you back and why you arent a ... (read in full...)
I want him to miss me and call me... how can I do this?
Q. well me and my boyfriend are going to be 2 years together already and i dont know why but he has changed with me a lot! Before he used to call me lots of times, we used to talk like for 3 hours sometimes i had to even take my phone to the restroom ...
A. 28 November 2010: When two people get together in the early days it's called the 'honeymoon' period. Lots of conversation, flirting, texting, calls etc. But eventually this will die down. It's usually because you are more comfortable with each other. The ... (read in full...)
Think my husband is having gay encounters
Q. Help! I recently discovered an email account I did nopt know about which led to Craigs lists postings I did not know about. Long story short, my husband of 18 years had communications with other men over a period of 4 months while travelling. He ...
A. 5 November 2010: After reading this, sounds like he is looking for men and sex. The only thing you can do if you want this to work is to keep a closer eye on what he's doing. If he's working away from home then he needs to find a job more closer to home. At the ... (read in full...)
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