A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I are both in our 40s and don't have children. My partner's mother was widowed 3 years ago and my mother died 8 months ago. This will be my father's first Christmas without her. I have 4 siblings of which only one is around to be with Dad. I'd like to join them but my partner who has been single all his life and has always spent Christmas at his parents home, would not consider changing his routine, even though his mother will have all her children and grandchildren with her on the day. Should we just spend Christmas with respective parents?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 A respectable point of view. But it's also good to show some solidarity to your own elderly parent on a special occasion. Your partner gets the other 364 days of the year.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): . . .he is something of a Mummy's boy to be honest, although I have never commented on this to him. I went to his parents' for Christmas last year so it would be nice if he could come to mine this year. Although we are not joined at the hip, I think it is good to show some solidarity and spend Christmas day with your partner too.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 For me, (and I'm not alone), Christmas has always been about family... I may not like all of my relatives, but its the one day I'm routinely committed to spending with them every year... Its tradition and its not necessarily a bad thing... I always have more fun than I expect, but yet I'd never see my relatives otherwise... in which case we may as well all be strangers.
It's a special day which is great to spend with your partner if you can... but not to the detriment of your own family.
Just my 2 cents
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 December 2010):
Sure, why not. If yours is a solid partnership, it's not such a big deal, you don't need to be joined at the hips. Be generous. You have all year round to be with your partner - and ( each of you ) many less occasions to spend time with the older members of the family.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (12 December 2010):
 I've always wondered why single men in their 40's spend so much time with their mothers. I would call them mummys boys. You may not be able to change his habits. What you could do is have a christmas meal on another day and get round who you would like to be there. You can't compete with his mother his relationship with her is much stronger than yours.
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