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I think my wife had experience before we married but I'm afraid to ask her

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 June 2017) 11 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2017)
A male India age 36-40, *teve0770 writes:

I was a virgin until I got married. I did not know to use condoms. My wife taught me to use condoms correctly and after using dispose them also. Some where in my mind I am having a doubt whether she had experience before marrying me. I don't have the guts to ask her.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (21 June 2017):

YouWish agony auntI learned from reading the instructions on the box!

They're pretty straightforward and simple.

I missed out on Condom 101 in school, as my parents believed that Sex Ed was orchestrated by Satan to corrupt the minds of a sex-crazed society, so they made me miss sex ed.

Sometimes, I still wonder how I don't have 14 children!

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A male reader, Steve0770 India +, writes (21 June 2017):

Steve0770 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Good if she learnt for protection & prevention of STIs. Thank you all.

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A female reader, Tia Maria United States +, writes (20 June 2017):

Women talk to their friends about sex, it's also quite possible she learned about safe sex over the internet or in a magazine-there's no harm in a virgin knowing how to put a comdom on someone just in case something unexpected happens-perhaps she researched it once she knew you guys were getting married.It's also possible she was not a virgin-you will never know for sure, but does it really matter? If she is faithful to you and you have a happy relationship with her does it really matter if she had a relationship in the past? and if she did, do you really want to know? If I were you, I would just give her the benefit of the doubt and tell myself she was a virgin-if the marriage is happy why spoil it?

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 June 2017):

olderthandirt agony auntThe "real" question is: What difference should it make? Big deal! She obviously didn't have to ask you. It does not require a degree in engineering to figure out how to don a condom . Maybe she ids just a wee bit more intelligent or a better problem solver. In any event who cares?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2017):

Hi teve the question I have for you is how do you know that your wife actually knew how to use the condos correctly? Did you find out after? Or did you read the box? Did you pretend not to know? Did you try not to know because Of a family problem? Or a personal problem? Or you just were afraid of becoming informed?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2017):

You're married now, why does it matter? It's too late to concern yourself about her sexual-experience before you were married.

Unless your high school never taught sex-education, you've never seen a TV ad for "Trojans," you never surfed the web, or used Google; I'm not sure how you missed when and how to use a condom? Oh, by the way, check the package for instructions!

If you love and adore the woman you married, are you going to harshly judge her; because she knows how to correctly use a condom?

Would you be happier if she was stupid, or an ignorant woman?

Leave this matter alone. Judging by the mere existence of post, you shouldn't go there!

You may upset her unnecessarily! Perhaps she had a better education than you were offered; and/or pursued her own interests and curiosity on the topic. You can figure it out without reading the instructions, which do come with them!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (20 June 2017):

Tisha-1 agony auntI believe condoms come with instructions on use, including drawings and written descriptions. If you take a moment to look at the box, it will be there. Women over the generations have shared information on contraception, even when (and perhaps especially when) cultures and social mores have attempted to block access to that information.

Could it be as she simple that she took the time to educate herself when she realized you had no idea what to do?

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (20 June 2017):

YouWish agony auntThat's basic sex education! They teach that in schools - how to use a condom effectively. They actually show videos demonstrating IN DETAIL the use of condoms, including how to properly dispose of them.

Think about it logically man! She's teaching you because she's been instructed, which is why she was detailed in showing you. Sex ed is much more comprehensive in this day and age because of the increasing prevalence of STI.

Be happy that she knew what she was doing! The alternative would be that you are a parent before you're ready to become one.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 June 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI don't know if teens are taught sex-ed in your country but in many places, GIRLS, as well as BOYS, are taught how to put on a condom.

Or she could have googled it. OR learn it by doing it.

IS it important to you to know? If you aren't sure you WANT to know if she has had a partner before you then let it go.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (20 June 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntShe may just have read up on it to avoid pregnancy so early on - I would have, even if I was in a country where sex education wasn't taught enough.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2017):

Experience watching a video- experience being with someone - the possibilities are endless - or amaybe no experience at all- what's it matter? Is it religion ? If u love this woman then it should matter what her past was -I would communicate with her but again the past is the past

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